Finding the Fire Within

by C. C. Masters

  Humans probably would have thought this was strange, three grown men sleeping in the same bed. But we weren’t human, we were wolves. I found comfort in two of the strongest wolves in my pack by my side. It was probably more symbolic than practical, but I appreciated the gesture. Cody was way too large to share a bed practically; he almost took up half of it on his own.

  I heard Austin led out a sigh. “Can’t sleep?” he asked quietly.

  “Would you be able to?” I asked bitterly.

  “We aren’t going to let anything happen to you.” Austin stated firmly. “You are pack, and we do not abandon our pack. We will fight for you if it comes to that.”

  I let out a breath. “I don’t want you to fight for me if it would harm the pack.”

  I could see Austin grimace. “We are a strong pack, I doubt they will take us on directly. They will harass us, try to scare us, but they will back down when push comes to shove.”

  “And if you’re wrong?” I murmured, hesitant to challenge his authority.

  “I’m the pack-master, I’m never wrong.” Austin told me sarcastically.

  I chuckled despite myself. Maybe we did need a little humor in this situation. I felt a pang in my heart as I thought about Anna, she would know exactly what to say to lighten the mood.

  “And what about Anna?” I asked quietly. “If anything happens to the pack it will leave her vulnerable.”

  I heard Austin take a deep breath. “How do you feel about Anna?” Austin asked with a curious tone in his voice.

  I hesitated. I knew that Austin had feelings for Anna. I saw it in the way that he looked at her, the way that he spoke about her. He had essentially declared that she was his last night at dinner when he told his mother that Anna was going to be his mate.

  And yet, a part of me didn’t care. Maybe I was feeling reckless because there was a chance I was going to die today, or maybe it was just too much to keep to myself any longer.

  “I love her.” I told him simply.

  He turned his head sharply to look at me. “Are you sure?” He asked. “You have only known her for a few weeks.”

  “That’s all I needed.” I told him softly. “Anna is…. everything.”

  He let out a breath. “I know what you mean.” There was silence and I waited for him to tell me to back off, that I had no chance with her, that she was his. He didn’t say any of that.

  “Have you told her how you feel?” he asked me.

  I shook my head. “No,” I said desperately. “Anna is so… I can’t imagine her loving someone like me.”

  “Anna doesn’t judge.” Austin told me. “She doesn’t see rank, or status. She looks at us and she sees who we really are underneath it all.”

  “Yeah,” I exhaled.

  “She is a pure soul.” Cody added.

  Both of us turned to look at him. His breathing had been so rhythmic that I had assumed he was sleeping, not listening to our conversation.

  “You too?” Austin asked.

  Cody laughed in a self-depreciating way. “Normally I could care less what women think of me. They look at me and see a big stupid guy for them to use. It’s easy for me to just go along with it.”

  He took a deep breath. “Anna was different from the beginning. I was nervous the first time I met her, I’m never nervous around women. When I’m with her I feel like she just gets me. There’s something about her, I just…” his voice trailed off.

  “You know that she is not the type of woman you take home for the night and forget about in the morning,” Austin told him sharply.

  “I know.” Cody moaned, running a hand through his hair. “At first I thought that I just needed to get her off my mind. I tried to distract myself with other women. But after meeting Anna, it just didn’t feel right. I just couldn’t go back to the way I was before.”

  “There are other good women out there,” Austin told him.

  “Not for me.” Cody said quietly.

  “Anna has a tender heart. What happens if you finally have her, and then find that worked to get her out of your system? How do you think she will handle that?” Austin asked him, point blank.

  There was silence on Cody’s side. I felt uncomfortable being in the middle of their conversation, literally and figuratively. If these two both wanted Anna, then I had absolutely no chance with her.

  Austin gave a tired sigh and rubbed his eyes. “All I will ask of both of you right now is not to act on your feelings. Anna needs to focus on fitting into the pack and growing into her wolf. She needs to find confidence in herself and become more aware of her inner strength. She does not need a bunch of males fighting for her attention right now.”

  Austin was right. Anna was slowly becoming more confident and comfortable around us. I didn’t want her to feel pressured to choose among us, I knew she would never want that. Anna was so kind-hearted that she would never want to hurt any of us. I just worried that she would be too afraid of hurting our feelings to tell us how she really felt.

  “What about the twins?” I asked quietly. “You had to have seen how they look at her.”

  Cody grunted. “I spoke to them last week, they both said that they have never touched her like that.”

  “That was last week.” I told him bluntly.

  “They told you different?” Austin asked.

  I shook my head. “They didn’t have to tell me. The three of them are almost inseparable now.”

  “I did find them sleeping in her bed.” Austin said slowly.

  I turned my head toward him sharply. “With Anna?”

  “I could tell nothing happened.” Austin said with confidence. “She was dressed, and I would have been able to smell it if they had done anything with her. After that, I just assumed they thought of her more like a pack-mate who needs protection.”

  “They don’t.” Cody stated. “But Mason has enough sense to realize how innocent she is. He wouldn’t let anything happen that she wasn’t ready for. And she is not ready for something like that. The poor girl is still learning how to hug.”

  I swallowed nervously. I worried about the secret I was keeping from them about Anna. Should I let them know what I had found in her medical records? She had more issues than just a fear of intimacy; there was a reason why she had never had a boyfriend before. I worried that one of them would push her too far, not knowing about her past. But I didn’t want to betray her trust.

  The morning light started to peek through the curtains, announcing that the day had finally arrived. Austin rolled out of the bed, making the decision for me. The conversation was obviously over for now. He headed for the bathroom and I stretched out on the empty side of the bed. I had no desire to ever have to share a bed with these two again. I would prefer a certain blonde beauty.

  Chapter 8

  Anna

  I was wide awake after only being asleep for a few hours. There was just too much on my mind for me to be able to sleep. I knew the twins would still be sleeping for a while so I decided to head downstairs and see if James was up. I wanted to harass him until he told me what was going on with Caleb. It was almost six in the morning, I’m sure he must have some idea of what was happening.

  There was a little bit of a bite in the air since we had turned the heat off yesterday and never switched it back on. In typical Virginia fashion, it was going to only be forty degrees today after being seventy yesterday.

  I quickly dressed in leggings and a hoodie that I had stolen from Caleb’s room. It was comforting to me to be wrapped in his scent while I was worried about him. I slipped a pair of Uggs on my feet since it was going to be chilly today.

  I smirked to myself when I wondered what Reagan would think about my current outfit. If a pink sundress was a crime against fashion I could only imagine what she would say about me wearing a man’s hoodie and leggings.

  I slipped out of my room and started to head for the office that James usually worked out of. I abruptly changed course when it occurred to me that I was probably more
likely to get him in a talking mood if I brought him coffee and food.

  I stopped in the kitchen and set the Keurig to brew a cup of coffee while I toasted a bagel. James had previously told me that he preferred his coffee ‘black like his heart’. I did smear a generous amount of cream cheese on the bagel before I put it on a plate and headed back to his office. The door was cracked open a little, so I peered inside. He wasn’t there.

  I frowned. I knew him well enough that there was no way he was sleeping right now. He tended to work himself to exhaustion. I tapped my finger on the plate for a moment and then headed to what the guys called their ‘war room’. If there was ever a time that we were at war, I would think it would be now.

  Sure enough, I found him in there with his head bowed over a map. I hesitated at the door, had he fallen asleep while he was working? Maybe I should let him be, I doubted that he would go to bed and rest if I woke him up.

  If he was tired enough to fall asleep at the table, then he needed what little rest he would allow himself. Just as I was about to turn away he raised his head.

  I greeted him with a smile. “Good morning! I brought you breakfast.”

  He groaned and rubbed his eyes. “What time is it?”

  “A little after six.” I told him enthusiastically.

  He eyed me suspiciously. “You are much too chipper for this time of day.”

  I tried to tone down my smile a little as I set my offering of food and coffee in front of him. He seemed a little unsure of how to react when I sat in the chair across from him and waited patiently for him to eat. He took a sip of his coffee and watched me over the rim.

  I just smiled at him pleasantly and held my tongue. I knew I wouldn’t get anything out of him if I tried pestering him too quickly. I looked him over carefully as I waited. I could see that his eyes were red and tired, with dark circles below. His face looked drawn and worried.

  I wish I could talk him into going upstairs and taking a nap, but I knew he would never agree. He also wouldn’t appreciate me pointing out what he would consider a weakness. I just sighed and waited. If he wouldn’t agree to rest, then I would keep him fed and caffeinated. I needed to make sure he was taken care of now that it was just me and the twins here.

  James set down his coffee and picked up half of the bagel. He held out the plate for me to take the other half. I hesitated, he needed food if he was going to keep working all day.

  He raised an eyebrow at me, “I would feel like an asshole if I sat here and ate in front of a female. Take the other half.”

  I shrugged and took it. I could just bring him more food later. We ate in silence and I licked the last bit of cream cheese off my finger as he took another sip of the coffee.

  “Have you spoken with Austin?” I asked James quietly.

  James sighed. “He’s sticking close to Caleb. Trevor and a few of his guys are on their way there now to be there for the hearing.”

  My ears perked up. “Can I go to the hearing? I want to be there to support Caleb.”

  James shook his head. “We don’t want you anywhere near the council right now. They have already threatened to take you if we didn’t cooperate. The last thing we want to do is put you within easy reach of them.”

  I paled. I did not like that the council was threatening me to get what they wanted out of the pack. Would Caleb be safe at home right now if it wasn’t for me?

  “Don’t get that guilty look on your face.” James growled at me. “They are going to do whatever they want, it has nothing to do with you.”

  I gave James a small smile. He already knew me too well. “When will we know what happened?” I asked him nervously.

  “Nothing is going to happen until nine this morning, and Austin will let us know as soon as the proceedings are done.” James grumbled.

  I felt a little better knowing what was going to happen, but I still wanted to be there for Caleb. “Do you think that I can call him this morning?” I asked softly. “I want him to know that we are all thinking about him and that we are with him in spirit, even if we can’t be there in the flesh.”

  James watched me thoughtfully. “I planned on speaking to them around seven this morning. If you could find some more food for us, then I’m sure I could include you in the call.”

  I gave him a huge grin. “I can do that,” I told him confidently. James was being too nice this morning, he must have been really worried about Caleb. I had expected him to just scowl at me and send me away.

  “Any special requests?” I asked him, standing up to go make some more food.

  “Eggs?” he asked hopefully.

  I nodded and turned to go out the door. This had been a very domestic interaction. I was used to the silent and unflappable James, I was happy that he was warming up to me a little.

  I returned to the war room with plenty of time before seven and my arms loaded with food. I had brought sausage and omelets for both of us, now that I knew James wouldn’t eat unless I also had food in front of me. I had also brought him a carafe of coffee to keep in the room. I had no doubt that he was going to need it to get through the day.

  We ate companionably in silence. James checked the time mid-meal and called Austin on speakerphone. It looked like he was really going through with this.

  I heard Austin pick up the call. “Hey, James,” he answered tiredly.

  “I have Anna here with me.” James told him, taking another bite of his eggs.

  “Hey Austin.” I greeted him.

  “Anna?” I could hear the surprise in his voice.

  “Hey,” I said hesitantly. “James said it would be okay if I was on the call so that I could give you guys some moral support since I can’t be there?” I tried to stop myself from talking, otherwise that run on sentence would have become even longer.

  “Of course,” Austin said, still sounding a little surprised. “Caleb, Cody, and I are here now, preparing for the council hearing in a few hours.”

  I heard murmuring in the background that sounded like Cody, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying.

  Austin cleared his throat. “James, we have the evidence that the council wants to use against Caleb. The problem is that Caleb is our tech expert, so we can’t use him to rebut the council’s claims.”

  James set down his fork and rubbed his face wearily. “We’re not going to find another wolf like Caleb in any of the packs we are friendly with. You know how they feel about technology.”

  “I know.” Austin said quietly. “I wasn’t thinking about the wolves.”

  James tapped his finger on the desk. “You want me to contact the German?”

  “I already have.” Austin replied in a clipped voice. “And you know he does not appreciate being called that.”

  James snorted. “And? He’s willing to lend us some resources?”

  “He’s sending someone to the house now.” Austin told him. “I want you to let him examine Caleb’s equipment and do what he needs to do.”

  “You trust him?” James asked incredulously. “Caleb has all of our pack information, information on all of our jobs-“

  “A lot of the jobs we do are for them,” Austin interrupted. “And we would be stupid to think that they don’t keep close tabs on everything we do because of the access they have given us to their world.”

  James grumbled an agreement. “I don’t like this.”

  Austin sighed. “I don’t either. But the council won’t risk their alliance with the lamia if they provide evidence that Caleb is innocent. They would never risk calling a lamia a liar. I think we all know what would happen if there was a war between the wolves and lamia.”

  There was a moment of silence. I tried to process everything that I just heard. So, we had an alliance with the lamia and one of them was coming here? It looks like I was going to meet a real vampire! There were so many questions that I wanted to ask but I was hoping they forgot I was listening and drop some more juicy tidbits of info for me to soak up.

  “So, who wa
s it?” James asked. “Who is targeting Caleb?”

  “The council is providing a unified front right now.” Austin answered grimly. “Not even my father was willing to provide names or produce an accuser.”

  James cursed. “None of my sources know anything.” He told Austin. “Believe me, I pushed hard and still got nothing.”

  “I believe it.” Austin said quietly.

  I must have made a noise because James looked over in my direction. “Anna wanted to have a moment to speak with Caleb,” he told Austin quietly.

  “He’s right here,” Austin answered. There were some muffled noises as the phone was passed around and then I heard Caleb on the line.

  “Caleb! Are you okay? I’ve been so worried about you!” I took a breath to give him time to answer.

  He gave a sad laugh. “Yeah, Anna. I’m okay.” He paused for a moment. “Austin and Cody haven’t left my side, nothing has really happened yet.”

  I could tell that he was trying to be strong, but I could hear an undercurrent of worry in his voice.

  “I just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking about you. I wish I could be there to support you.” I told him somberly.

  “Thanks, Anna.” He told me quietly. There was a moment of silence before he spoke again. “Anna, I-“

  It sounded like he wanted to tell me something but stopped. Was there something going on where he was? Did someone interrupt? I listened carefully but I couldn’t hear anything but Caleb’s breathing.

  “I miss you.” Caleb finally said. I felt a wave of sadness come over me. This sounded too much like a goodbye, Caleb was going to be fine and he would probably be home by this afternoon. I tried to convince myself of that, but I knew Caleb needed a little cheering up.

  “I miss you, too.” I told him. “When you get home tonight, we will have to have a movie night. You can pick since you got arrested and were on trial and everything.” I teased him.