What's Cooking

by Gail Sattler

  She drew in a ragged breath and slipped the last tray of crab snaps into the oven. This time, she would keep herself busy in the kitchen until Mitchell came back, regardless of his urging to let them get to know her as a person rather than a teacher. After hearing what Ellen’s friends really thought, she couldn’t face them alone. She wondered if she would be able to face them at all.

  Just as she closed the oven door, Gordie and Roland appeared behind her. She wondered if they were ever apart.

  Roland snitched a cheese ball from the tray on the table and popped it into his mouth. “Hi, Carolyn. I just wanted to say how great the food is. If I hadn’t seen it for myself the other day, I wouldn’t have believed Mitch did it. You helped him, didn’t you?”

  She turned and smiled at them, grateful for the distraction. “Except for the dessert, he made everything. I helped him a little, but not much.”

  “Mitch is a great guy, you know.”

  Her smile dropped. She had a bad feeling that Roland had come into the kitchen to talk to her about more than the food. She nodded and turned to check the last tray of crab snaps in the oven. “Yes, he is.”

  Roland swallowed a bacon-wrapped scallop, then cleared his throat. “Are you and Mitch, you know, going to continue seeing each other?”

  She gritted her teeth at his question. She didn’t know the answer. She had already committed herself to being Mitchell’s date for the wedding, but tonight had shown her that it simply wasn’t going to work. Mitchell had almost convinced her it was possible to keep seeing each other, but even his friends were questioning their relationship. She really didn’t know what was right anymore.

  At this point in her life, she was seeking marriage. Mitchell had completely shocked her when he told her that he loved her, not once, but twice. The first time she could have let it go, but after the second time, she couldn’t help thinking that the natural progression would point toward marriage.

  Mitchell was nothing like the man she had been praying for. Yet, despite everything, she wanted to keep seeing him, which was selfish and wrong.

  The right thing to do would be to tell him she couldn’t see him again, to tell him to find someone else to love, someone more suited to him—a woman he could be with, without being the subject of everyone’s gossip.

  She couldn’t say anything like that to his friends. She had to say it to him in person.

  “Yes,” she answered, justifying her reply in her mind, knowing she hadn’t been specific. “I’ll be seeing him after tonight.”

  For a few minutes, they simply stood and stared at each other, making Carolyn feel like a bug under a microscope.

  Gordie stepped forward, then fixed his gaze at some point on the wall behind her. “If you’re wondering why we’re asking, it’s because Mitchell’s been acting kind of funny. We haven’t been seeing as much of him lately, and it’s like when Jake started going out with Ellen, you know, seriously. We just wanted to know if you felt the same way.”

  Carolyn swallowed hard. Mitchell’s quiet “I love you” echoed through her head, and her fingers immediately went to touch the little ring on the middle finger of her left hand—the little heart that said so much. It wasn’t right, but she loved him, too.

  “Yes,” she whispered hoarsely. “I do feel the same way.”

  Gordie and Roland both nodded, then just as quickly as they arrived, they disappeared.

  Carolyn’s hands shook as she took the last tray of crab snaps out of the oven and set them on the counter to cool. She’d almost convinced herself to say good-bye to Mitchell, but the ache it brought to her heart was too painful. Using more concentration than needed for such a mundane task, she refilled the tray with goodies, leaving room for the last crab snaps, and told herself that now she had to stay put until they were cool enough to add to the tray.

  While she waited, she tidied the kitchen until it was so perfect she had nothing else to do.

  The time dragged. Laughter again drifted from the living room.

  She stared out the window into the dark yard, where everything was quiet and still. Rather than joining the crowd or watching the crab snaps cool, she stepped out onto the large wooden patio deck, where the cool night air was pleasant after being close to the hot oven most of the evening. She leaned with her hands against the cedar railing beneath a large tree, which stood regally alongside the structure, and looked over the property.

  Suddenly, footsteps tapped on the path that led through the yard.

  Jake’s voice split the silence of the evening. “So, what are you going to do?”

  “I’m not sure,” Mitchell mumbled. She could barely make out his words as they walked farther away. “I can’t help feeling sorry for her. I’ll have to think of something extra special. I know she likes cows.”

  Their voices faded as Jake and Mitchell disappeared around the side of the house. The gate squeaked open, then snapped shut.

  Even though she still hadn’t been able to figure out what it was Mitchell saw in her, she hadn’t expected that he felt pity.

  Immediately she thought of Killer, whom Mitchell had taken home rather than allow the dog to be put to sleep. One of the reasons she’d been so quick to fall in love with him was his kind and compassionate nature.

  She could understand why he felt sorry for her. She was more than aware of the pathetic creature she’d been when Mitchell had walked in to find her sunk to her knees in the middle of her living room floor, crying like a baby over the fiasco with Hank.

  She suddenly realized that in the same way Mitchell felt so sorry for a poor, pathetic dog, that he gave it a good and loving home, he had declared his love to her—out of pity. She felt a sudden, almost physical, pain in her heart.

  Before Mitchell came to find her outside and realized she’d overheard, she hustled back into the kitchen and started transferring the cooled crab snaps onto the tray.

  Footsteps tapped on the linoleum floor behind her.

  “What are you still doing in here?”

  “Getting ready to put this out,” she stammered, then cleared her throat. “Gordie and Roland were just here commenting on what a good job you’ve done with the food.”

  He glanced over his shoulder to the clamor coming from the living room. “They probably just came to snitch something while no one was watching.” He faced forward and took one step toward her. “Never mind them. I came to pull you out of the kitchen. You’ve been spending too much time in here. You should join the party.” He smiled wide and picked up one of the trays she’d finished preparing.

  Her stomach tied into a knot, and she stepped closer to Mitchell so he couldn’t see her trembling knees.

  Their eyes met, steeling Carolyn’s strength and nerve. She stood as tall as possible for someone barely over five feet tall and picked up a second tray of food. “Let’s go.”

  She followed Mitchell into the living room, where everyone was engrossed in conversation.

  Mitchell placed the tray on a table. In a flash, Gordie and Roland rose and headed for the food, causing everyone to groan.

  Mitchell introduced Carolyn to everyone, then reached for her hand and held it, as if it were a normal occurrence. She did her best to hide her shock, but when Mitchell ran his thumb over the small ring, she completely lost track of everything that had been said and pretended to cough so she didn’t have to respond.

  When only a few tidbits remained on the tray, Ellen called for everyone’s attention. “I want everyone to know that all this food you’ve just eaten and thought was made by Carolyn was actually made by Mitch. Except the dessert, right, Mitch?”

  Carolyn thought she could have heard a pin drop.

  Mitchell gave a carefree smile, but the tightness of his grip on her hand gave him away. Besides, the dimple wasn’t showing. He didn’t speak. All he did was nod.

  Ellen waved her hands in the air. “Don’t worry. No one is going to die. Carolyn taught him everything he needed to know, and I have it from a reliable source that e
ven though she didn’t actually prepare the food, she was there to supervise. Let’s give them a big round of applause!”

  Her cheeks grew hot at the response, but it gave her some relief to see that Mitchell blushed, as well.

  Fortunately, since the wedding was tomorrow, the party wound down and guests began to leave. Mitchell saw them out, while Carolyn helped Kim pack up the leftovers.

  “I don’t know how to thank you, Carolyn, not only for your help, but for teaching Mitchell what to do in the kitchen. I’ve tried to get him interested for years and failed.”

  Carolyn smiled. “Believe me, it’s nothing I said or did. He’d made up his mind before he signed up for the class. Like anything else, when you have to do something, you do what you can to get the job done.”

  “Yes, I can tell he’s quite proud of himself.” Silence hung in the air for a minute, then Kim spoke quietly. “How long have you and Mitchell been, uh, dating? He hasn’t been to church or Bible study in quite awhile. I was starting to worry, and then I was told he’s been going with you.”

  Carolyn snapped on the lids, and Kim tucked everything into the fridge. “We’ve been seeing each other quite frequently since he signed up for my cooking class.”

  “I guess what I’m trying to ask is if you’re serious about him. He’s my son, and I don’t want to see him hurt. I also know that he’d be angry with me if he found out I’ve discussed this with you, but I had to ask. He hasn’t seen much of us lately.”

  Carolyn forced herself to smile. “It’s okay. You’re not the first person to express concern.”

  Kim’s face turned a dark shade of red, and she raised the uncasted hand to one cheek. “I’m so sorry! I don’t know what to say!”

  “It’s okay, Kim. Or should I call you Mrs. Farris? It only shows how concerned everyone is about him. It’s good to have such loving friends and family.”

  The red in Kim’s face didn’t change. “Please call me Kim.”

  All Carolyn could do was nod in agreement.

  “I also hear you’re coming to the wedding tomorrow as Mitchell’s guest. I look forward to seeing you again.”

  Carolyn opened her mouth to speak, but Mitchell walked in before she could get a word out.

  “You ladies finished? Or are you hiding in here because you’re eating everything that’s left?”

  Kim smiled. “You did well, Mitchell. There’s really very little left. Now if you two will excuse me, I’m off to bed. Tomorrow is a big day.”

  Carolyn picked up her purse and slung it over her shoulder.

  Mitchell scooped up the bag of her empty containers. “Come on. I’ll take you home.”

  She followed Mitchell to the car, and they made small talk all the way back to her house, where he left her at the door with a very sweet but chaste kiss.

  She crawled off to bed, knowing she wouldn’t be doing much sleeping.

  Mitchell had told her that today, the day of the rehearsal, was the big day, but he was wrong.

  Tomorrow was the big day. For the better part of the evening, she fully intended to enjoy every second she could with him because tomorrow she had to tell him of her decision—and stick with it.

  Because after the wedding, she wasn’t going to see him again.

  ❧

  Carolyn studied herself in the mirror and tugged at the neckline of her snug dress. When she’d picked this dress specifically for Mitchell’s sister’s wedding, she only wanted to look good with Mitchell, who would be wearing a tuxedo, as would the rest of the men in the wedding party. She didn’t know what had been running through her mind at the time, but her imagination and reality had suddenly collided, and it wasn’t a pretty picture.

  She sucked in her breath and turned sideways for one last view, then gave up and relaxed. The only person she was kidding was herself. She liked to eat and hated to exercise, which wasn’t a great combination. She didn’t know if it was realistic to hope for low lighting, but it was the only hope she had.

  By the time the doorbell rang, she had nearly convinced herself to change. She ran her hands down her stomach one last time, sucked in her breath again, and walked to the door.

  At the sight of Mitchell in a tux, her heart skipped a beat, then started racing. His neatly styled hair sported a fresh haircut and was gelled into perfect order, showing no trace of the orange and blue she’d spotted only yesterday when she sat beside him on the couch at his parents’ house.

  The cut of the suit emphasized the width of his shoulders and tapered down to his narrow waist, trim hips, and long legs. The cummerbund wrapped around his midriff for that finishing touch of potent appeal.

  The pristine formal wear made Mitchell look older than his years, which was another perverse reminder of how young he was. Still, the suit also emphasized his handsome face and physique, and when he smiled, that adorable dimple appeared in his left cheek. The combination of the total package of Mitchell Farris sent Carolyn’s brain into a tailspin.

  For lack of anything to say that wouldn’t sound like a besotted teenager, she stood on her tiptoes and reached to straighten his slightly crooked bow tie.

  He stiffened at her touch, which only confirmed her fears that she hadn’t been seeing herself honestly in the mirror when she purchased the dress. To her surprise, when she wiggled his bow tie, his large hands settled on her hips. In a way, the contact helped to steady her but at the same time made her shaky inside.

  She was in over her head. Way over her head.

  Mitchell cleared his throat, then he reached up to touch the bow tie she’d just worked so hard to straighten. “You look great, Carolyn.”

  At his words, heat stained her cheeks. She sank to allow her heels to touch the floor, gave the bow tie a quick pat, and backed up a step. “You look great, yourself. I’m almost ready to go. I just have to get my shoes and a sweater in case it gets cool this evening.”

  She backed up another step to the closet, but instead of waiting outside, Mitchell also stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

  “What are you doing? I thought we had to go.”

  His voice came out in a low growl. “This is going to be my last chance to kiss you today.”

  Before she knew what was happening, he’d backed her into the wall. He rested his hands on her shoulders, then used one index finger to tip up her chin, and their eyes locked. She knew what he was going to do, and she knew why he stopped. He was asking her permission.

  All her hesitations crumbled. She was in love with him, right or wrong, and today was all they were going to have. All night long, she’d tossed and turned, trying to decide what to do. She had decided to enjoy the day with him, and then she was going to tell him it was over. This wasn’t just her last chance to kiss him today. It was the last chance she would have to kiss him ever.

  Carolyn closed her eyes and let her lips part just a little, and his mouth descended on hers.

  This was not a sweet, chaste kiss. This time he kissed her like he meant it.

  Carolyn melted against him. She slid her hands under the suit jacket and around his back and held him tight, then kissed him back in equal measure because she meant it, too. No one had ever kissed her like this before, and she knew no one ever would again.

  When they separated, she could feel his reluctance as if it were a tangible thing. Slowly, he backed up, and his eyes fluttered open. “You’re right,” he ground out. “We had better go.”

  Carolyn continued to lean against the wall, needing the support.

  Silently, they stared at each other. Mitchell’s cheeks were flushed, his eyes were glazed, and his breathing was labored. She didn’t want to think of what she looked like.

  As they continued to stare at each other, they both started to smile.

  Carolyn couldn’t help herself. She actually giggled. “You’re wearing lipstick.” Another giggle escaped. “There’s a man in a tuxedo in my house, wearing lipstick.”

  Mitchell smiled wider, but he didn’t giggle. “That’
s really strange, because I’m looking at a beautiful woman all dressed up, who isn’t wearing any.”

  She couldn’t stop herself. Carolyn continued to giggle as she straightened herself, took one step toward Mitchell, grabbed him by the wrist, and pulled him into the bathroom.

  Instead of being embarrassed, Mitchell pursed his lips at his reflection in the mirror, made a loud smooch in the air, then smiled at himself. “Mm-mmm, I do look good.”

  Carolyn handed him a tissue. “Quit fooling around. Wipe off the evidence. You have to be there early.”

  While he wiped the lipstick off, Carolyn reapplied hers, and they were soon ready to go.

  She slid on her shoes and glanced at him one more time, and in so doing, she once again felt the heat in her cheeks. “Wait. You didn’t get it all off. You’re going to be in a lot of pictures today. I’d better do it.”

  They returned to the bathroom, where he sat on the edge of the bathtub while she diligently dabbed off the last smear.

  The situation they were in could have been quite intimate, if they weren’t in the bathroom and she didn’t have a wad of lipstick-smudged tissue in her hand.

  “There. You’re manly once more. Let’s get going, or you’ll be late.”

  “Carolyn, wait. Before we go, there’s something I almost forgot to tell you.”

  “Oh?” She smiled on the outside but cringed on the inside.

  “I have to warn you; you’ll really like Uncle Vince, but don’t let him get started talking about fishing or you’ll be sorry.”

  Seventeen

  Once at the church, Carolyn sat and watched the preamble to the wedding from a different perspective than at any other time she had attended a wedding. She watched Mitchell, Gordie, Roland, and even Jake run around checking on last-minute things.

  “Mind if I sit with you for a while?”

  Carolyn looked up to find Mitchell’s father standing beside the pew.

  “Of course not.” She slid over to the side to make room for Roger, surprised that such an important figure in the coming proceedings would take time to say hello to her.

  “The father of the bride isn’t allowed with his daughter until she’s ready to walk down the aisle. I guess I’m at loose ends. A little nervous, too, I don’t mind saying.”