Finally a Mother

by Dana Corbit

  Finally, she felt she could breathe again, her lungs filling with oxygen as her heart expanded with hope. Maybe there was a chance for her to restore her relationship with Mark after all. Tomorrow. She would go to him and apologize again, and this time she would ask for his forgiveness. She would offer him her forgiveness without expecting him to ask for it, and this time she would really mean what she said. Then she would tell him she wanted to be with him.

  It might not be enough; she understood that. But then she would have done everything she could. The rest was in God’s hands, she thought, then smiled. It had been in His hands all along.

  But before she could even think about a future with Mark, there was another relationship that she needed to address. One that had been wounded more than a decade before. One that appeared to have been healed on the outside but remained a badly patched-up break beneath the surface. She glanced at the clock. It was too late to call tonight. She frowned as she reached for the lamp switch, but she stopped her hand in midair.

  Instead of turning off the light, she dropped her feet to the floor and reached for her cell phone after all. There was never a bad time to apologize. Never a wrong time to make things right. She made the call, waiting through several rings before someone finally answered. She took a deep breath and spoke.

  “Hey, Dad, it’s me.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  “What are you doing up?” Mark asked from his spot in the dark when Blake descended the stairs. “You have school in the morning.”

  “It’s Friday night, remember?”

  “Oh. Right.”

  “And it’s against the teenage code to go to bed on a Friday before eleven.”

  He blinked as Blake flipped on the side lamp, flooding the living room with light. He would have preferred to remain in the darkness with his thoughts, but he wasn’t getting a vote. “I’ll have to remember about the code.”

  He didn’t mention that Blake had gone to bed early most nights since he’d been living there, particularly when he wanted to get away from the adults around him. Apparently he didn’t need his space tonight.

  “Do you want to join me?” Mark patted a place next to him on the sofa.

  The boy stepped over to him, but he stopped in front of the couch and crossed his arms, staring down at Mark. It was clear that Blake had something to say, so instead of prodding, he settled back into the sofa cushions and waited. He didn’t have to wait long.

  “My mother’s in love with you.”

  Mark blinked. He might have expected the boy to say a few things, but that wasn’t one of them. “Blake, I’m sorry you’ve been put in an awkward position, but—”

  “I just want to know one thing,” Blake said to interrupt him.

  He nodded. Maybe he didn’t want to answer more questions about his almost relationship with Shannon, but Blake deserved that much. “What’s that?”

  “What are you going to do about it?”

  “Look, you have to know that adult matters are complicated.” He considered how awkward things had been between him and Shannon before she left tonight when, before, talking to her had been so easy. Too easy. Even after the apologies, all the wishes and prayers and even his plans to make a more permanent home for Blake, they just couldn’t go back to the way things were before. He’d forgiven her, and she’d probably tried to forgive him, but would it ever be enough?

  “It doesn’t have to be complicated.”

  Mark shifted. He wanted to tell the boy that this was none of his concern, but Blake’s mother was his business. “I don’t know what you’re trying to say.”

  Blake rolled his eyes in a way that he hadn’t done for a few days at least and then flopped on the sofa but kept a buffer of space between them. “She loves you. You love her. So figure out a way to be with her.”

  Mark shook his head. “I don’t know, buddy. As much as we might wish for it, some things can’t be fixed.”

  “You’re saying that to a guy who carried a letter with him for seven years and tracked down his birth mother at a home for teenage moms.”

  Mark chuckled, but the effort only made his chest ache. “I guess you’re right.”

  “And I guess you must not want it—or her—that bad.”

  He squeezed his eyes shut at that, the ache spreading. “You’d be wrong about that,” he said in low voice. “I love her, Blake.”

  “Then what are you going to do about it?” he said a second time.

  What indeed? His heart told him one thing, while his head kept planting doubts. Did he have the courage to take the risk this time when he had nothing to lose and, possibly, so much to gain?

  He didn’t notice that Blake had stood again until he passed in front of him to the stairs and started climbing.

  “Blake,” he called. The boy turned to look over his shoulder. “Have you considered a career as a matchmaker?”

  He shook his head. “Nah. I’m retiring now.”

  “And, Blake,” he called after him again. “Thanks.”

  “No problem.”

  “Better get some sleep because I’ll need you up bright and early.”

  Blake nodded, but he didn’t ask any questions. Good thing because the plan was still forming in Mark’s mind. Only one of them was going to get any sleep tonight. He had calls to make and schedules to coordinate, but more important than either of those things, he had to dig through the boxes in his basement. Somewhere down there, he had to locate a ring.

  * * *

  “Thank you so much for calling, Miss Lafferty. Yes, it’s wonderful news.”

  Shannon managed to say goodbye and end the call before she moaned out loud, but just barely. It was wonderful news, all right. It was the sweetest, most generous gesture and an unfortunate offer, all rolled into one. She set her cell phone on the desk and stared at it as if the piece of electronic equipment were threatening to light up again with another call. After receiving news that changed everything twice this week in early-morning phone calls, she planned to leave the thing turned off tomorrow altogether.

  Sure, Miss Lafferty was thrilled that Mark had volunteered to complete additional certification requirements to become Blake’s long-term foster parent. And Shannon really was grateful to him for ensuring that Blake would continue to live nearby. But the situation had become more complicated now that her plans for obtaining custody were going against her.

  Now if she told Mark that she wanted to build a life with him, as she’d planned to do today, he would always have to wonder if she’d just chosen him to be near her son. How could she do that to the man she loved? Could this be the answer she’d prayed for last night? But if God didn’t want them to be together, then why did the thought of not being with him make her feel so empty?

  Shannon was almost relieved when the doorbell rang, even if it meant unannounced guests before breakfast on a Saturday. It also offered an escape from emotions she didn’t want to feel, from thoughts she wasn’t ready to consider. She pushed up from her desk chair and started out into the hall, where the girls, most still wearing pajamas, robes and slippers, scattered every which way.

  “Are you going to answer it, Miss Shannon?” Kelly asked.

  “I guess so. None of you are dressed.”

  She, on the other hand, was already showered and dressed, at least one benefit from a sleepless night. She supposed it didn’t really matter whether the girls answered the door in their pajamas, as they were crowded behind her in the doorway anyway, unwilling to miss the morning’s excitement.

  Brushing her hand along her ponytail and straightening the hem of her long sweater, she finally opened the door. The crowd on her porch was so large that at first she couldn’t make out any individuals from the group other than to note the sea of navy blue police uniforms. Her breath catching in her throat, she searched
the many faces for answers.

  What was going on? Had something happened to Blake? Or Mark? But the police didn’t send a crowd to deliver bad news, did they? She scanned the drive where several patrol cars were parked. None of the red lights on top of the cars were lit, and none of the lights appeared to be spinning.

  “What’s going on, Miss Shannon?” one of the girls called from behind her.

  “Why are all of the police here?”

  “Are you in trouble?”

  “No, I’m not in trouble,” she said, responding to the one question for which she had an answer.

  All of those bodies shifted to allow Mark and Blake, the only ones not in uniform, to move to the front of the crowd. It didn’t make any sense. Both of them were smiling, too, which confused her even more. The idea struck her that maybe they were celebrating the news Miss Lafferty had just given her when Mark took a few steps closer.

  “What’s going on, Mark? What are you all doing here?”

  He glanced over his shoulder at the men and women behind him, his mouth lifting as he faced Shannon again.

  “I told you some of my fellow troopers want to do some volunteer work at Hope Haven?”

  She stared at him. None of this made sense. “You’ve come to do that now?”

  He shook his head. “No. This is more of a social call.”

  Social call? They’d barely gotten beyond the awkwardness at just seeing each other the past few days, and he was making social calls?

  “They’re just along for the ride,” Mark gestured widely to the wall of blue uniforms behind him. “It was Blake’s idea.”

  “Oh, no.” Blake shook his head. “Do you think I’d ever plan a party filled with badges? This was all him.”

  “Happy second Saturday of the Christmas shopping season,” Trooper Davison called out, waving.

  Mark rolled his eyes. “I wanted to make our visit a production this morning, and this was the best I could do on such short notice.”

  A production? She froze, waiting for him to explain. His words were still confusing, but a tiny part of her was tempted to hope. If he’d gone to so much trouble to make this a “production,” then maybe one day in the far-off future, there might be a chance for them. Because she still stood in the open doorway, the freezing air pouring inside, one of the girls behind her approached with her coat, slipping it on her arms.

  Shannon stepped closer to Mark and spoke in a low voice. “I wanted to thank you. Miss Lafferty told me what you did. It was so kind of you to offer to make a more permanent home for Blake, especially since...I can’t.”

  “I did it for us,” Mark whispered, only for her ears.

  For us. Shannon blinked as the words reverberated in her head. There were still so many loose ends between them. So much to explain. Did this mean he’d really forgiven her? She was too afraid to tell herself that this could really be happening. Mark’s gesture had already been the kindest thing anyone had ever done, and now it had become even more amazing. He’d done it for all of them.

  Then in front of everyone, Mark lowered to one knee. Shannon stared at him, unable to move, unable to speak.

  “Shannon, to say my whole life changed the day I met you and Blake would be an understatement. I’ve never felt more alive than I have since walking into your entertaining, messy world. Marry me, Shannon, and I’ll work every day to make you as happy as you’ve made me.”

  But as he reached for her hand, she jerked both hands to her face instead. Her fingers were splayed over her eyes, her tears warm between them. Until Mark gently pulled her hands away from her eyes, she wasn’t even aware that he’d stood again.

  “Well, I was hoping for a happier response than that, especially with an audience, but—”

  “I’m sorry, Mark. I’m sorry for so many things.” She brushed quickly at her tears. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “What to do?” He took her hands this time. “What do you mean? I don’t want to push you, but I thought—”

  Her words came out in a rush. “Of course I want to marry you. I love you. So much that sometimes I can’t breathe. But how can I accept your proposal now that you’ll be Blake’s foster parent indefinitely? How can I make you always wonder if Blake was the only reason that I would want to be with you?”

  Out of air now, she gulped in a hitched breath. Would he change his mind? She closed her eyes, knowing whatever he would say now would alter both of their lives forever.

  At the sound of Mark’s chuckle, she opened her eyes. He squeezed her hands.

  “Well, is he the only reason?”

  “No.” She shook her head for emphasis. “I love you. I want to be with you.”

  He smiled. “Then that’s good enough for me.”

  Again Mark kneeled in front of her, and this time he pulled a ring from his pocket. A round diamond with smaller stones on each side.

  “It’s my mother’s ring,” he said as she looked down at it. “I’ve never given it to anyone else. It was all I could come up with on short notice, but if you’d prefer something else...”

  She stared into his eyes. “It’s perfect.”

  Mark cleared his throat. “I’m going to try this again. Shannon, will you be my wife and help me build a family for Blake?”

  This time she grinned, her tears forgotten. “I’d like to see you try to stop me.”

  “I should have gone with the ring the first time,” Mark remarked as he came to his feet.

  He earned a laugh, but he wasn’t paying attention to their audience. His gaze was on Shannon alone. He reached for her, pulling her slowly toward him. She smiled and went willingly into his arms. His kiss felt like a promise made and kept, a dream offered and accepted. Applause broke out all around them, but he kept on kissing her. She was dazed when he finally moved away, but Mark only reached for Blake, pulling him into a family hug. Blake pretended to hate all of that gushy emotion, but none of them bought it.

  “Miss Shannon’s getting married,” one of the girls called out from behind Shannon in a singsong voice.

  Trooper Davison stepped closer to them and shivered. “Are you guys done now? Can we go inside? It’s freezing out here.”

  “Oh. Right.” Shannon turned back to the crowd. “Everybody come inside. Breakfast for everyone.”

  More laughter followed, but when Shannon pulled the door wide, more than a dozen ruddy-faced adults squeezed inside the entry. Her parents were the last two to pass through the door.

  Shannon’s mouth went slack when she saw them. “Mom and Dad, I didn’t even know you were here.”

  Marilyn grinned as she lowered her hood. “We stayed to the back.”

  “It’s cold, all right,” Roger said, pulling a stocking cap off his head.

  As the girls and Blake led the rest of the guests into the cafeteria area, Mark and Shannon hung back with her parents.

  “How did this happen?” Shannon gestured widely to Mark and her parents.

  Mark grinned. “I called them early this morning and invited them. I was hoping it would give you the chance to apologize to them, but, according to them, you’d already taken care of that.”

  She reached for Mark’s hand and squeezed it. The man who’d already done so much for her had reached out to her parents, as well.

  Shannon hugged her mother first and then her father. “You have to be tired after being up so late last night talking to me. I’m really glad you’re here.”

  Marilyn hugged her daughter again. “We’ve missed too much already. Of our daughter’s life. Of our grandson’s life.” She paused to wipe away tears from the corners of her eyes. “We wouldn’t have missed this for the world.”

  Shannon reached a thumb to wipe away a tear her mother had missed. “I wouldn’t miss it, either.”

  Epilogue
>
  Shannon smoothed the skirt of her ivory silk sheath wedding gown and stared at herself in her bureau mirror. It had to have been the fastest three-week engagement known to man, but to her it felt too long, anyway. Although she didn’t want to wait any longer than necessary to be Mark’s wife, they’d had to schedule the wedding as far away from any of the girls’ due dates as possible, and the Saturday after Christmas had worked out perfectly. They even had the chance to use the great Christmas decorations in the parlor at Hope Haven, from the huge Douglas fir tree to the lovely crèche.

  She was just adjusting the comb of her fingertip veil into her updo when she heard a knock at the door.

  “Come in.”

  Kelly pushed the door open and stepped inside, with Chelsea and Holly trailing behind her.

  “Oh, look at you, Miss Shannon.” Kelly brushed her fingers lovingly over the lace of the veil. “You make such a pretty bride.”

  “Beautiful,” Chelsea said.

  “Gorgeous,” Holly agreed.

  “You ladies look wonderful, too.”

  And they did. Holly wore red taffeta, Chelsea looked sweet in violet sateen and Kelly couldn’t stop spinning in the pink lace. Finding a wedding gown on short notice had been simple compared to the challenge of locating eleven pretty maternity dresses from resale shops all over Oakland and Livingston counties. Shannon couldn’t get over that her parents had offered to pay for the whole wedding, including the eleven bridesmaids’ dresses. They’d wanted to do it for their only daughter and only grandson.

  “You’ll all make pretty brides someday, too,” Shannon assured them. “And I had better receive an invitation to each of your weddings.”

  With their assurances and a few tears, they all crowded around the mirror to fix their makeup.

  “Well, Trooper Shoffner said it’s time for all of us to come down,” Chelsea told her.