One Summer in Santa Fe

by Molly Evans

  “What do you mean?” she asked.

  “If he says I get punished for something, he means it.” Alex’s eyes went wide. “He never forgets.”

  Laughing, Piper put her pace into high gear, but the boys easily caught up with her. “That’s good to know in case I ever need punishing.”

  “I hope that never happens to you, ’cause he’ll never forget. Ever.” Alex pointed off the side of the trail. “Jackrabbit. I called it.”

  Piper watched as the animal skittered away from them in a crazy pattern and disappeared in the brush. “Why are you calling jackrabbits?”

  “We’re playing a game. Whoever sees the most wildlife wins and the loser has to do the dishes,” Taylor said.

  “Did either of you catch that raven sitting on the fencepost over there?” she asked, and pointed to the large black bird watching them with dark, dark eyes.

  “It’s mine!” Alex yelled.

  “Mine.”

  Piper laughed at their banter and the remainder of their walk raced by until they could no longer see the trail in front of them.

  The evening ended with three happily exhausted people who went to Taylor’s house and ordered pizza. The dishes were forgotten as were the stains on the couch. And the carpet. And the wall.

  Taylor sat on the floor with the other two and stretched his legs out in front of him, oddly content. Relaxing at home in front of the TV was something he rarely did. Too much energy boiled within him to have downtime very often. But this was nice, this was comfortable, and something he could get used to in the right circumstances. He took one last bite of the pizza crust and tossed it into the nearly empty box. Piper sat cross-legged on a pillow beside Alex and watched as he showed her the ropes of his latest video game. He enjoyed watching the two of them and listening to their conversation.

  “You killed me!” she cried, and gave Alex a playful shove with her elbow.

  “You were just standing there, so I had to take advantage of the shot.”

  “Oh, I give up. I’m no match for you. I’ll just watch, okay?”

  “Okay. Is there any pizza left?”

  “I’ll check.” She turned back to Taylor and her breath refused to go in or out of her lungs. He was simply the most devastating-looking man she’d ever known. Sitting with his legs extended and crossed at the ankles, leaning toward her on one elbow, it made her want to crawl up every inch of him and have her way with him. Then his eyes darkened and a seductive smile curved his lips up at one corner.

  “Your mouth is hanging open, Piper.”

  She clamped it shut and redirected her gaze to the pizza box. “Alex wants something.”

  “What?”

  “What do you mean, what?” She blinked, trying to bring her brain into focus. She was supposed to do something, wasn’t she? Think, woman, think.

  “You said Alex wanted something. What was it?”

  Dammit, did she have to lose her mind right then? “Another slice of pizza.” She reached for it, but he moved swiftly and caught her wrist, and she gasped.

  “What do you want, Piper?” His voice was low and hypnotic, and she had to look up at him, look into those piercing blue eyes. And she was lost. She was falling for Taylor, right here, right now. This was so not good, but she was helpless to avoid that impulse deep within her that longed to be free, longed to reach out and take something, even if it wasn’t right for her. She had a right to be happy, didn’t she?

  “If Alex weren’t sitting right beside us, I’d show you.” That hadn’t just come out of her mouth, had it? She never spoke like that, was never so bold. The memory of their time in the jacuzzi flashed through her, and she bit her bottom lip, desire throbbing low in her belly. His gaze dropped to her mouth and she licked her lips.

  “If Alex weren’t sitting right beside us, I’d let you.”

  “Pizza?” Alex asked, without taking his attention from the game.

  “There’s one slice left.” She picked it up and was forced to drop her gaze from Taylor as she slid the slice onto Alex’s plate.

  With his hand still a band on her wrist, Taylor tugged her closer. “Come here,” he whispered.

  “Taylor.” Unable to resist, she allowed him to draw her closer, closer, until she was just inches from him.

  Electricity hummed between them. “Can you stay tonight?”

  Reluctance heavy in her sigh, she shook her head and indicated Alex. “I can’t.” Her body came alive at Taylor’s touch, and she wanted to re-experience their shared passion. It was a seductive lure that she was highly susceptible to. She doubted she’d ever develop a resistance to Taylor. Every night she went to bed with her body aching for his, for the heat and the hardness that made her body come alive as it never had before. The way she wanted it to again. Cooling things between them was going to be the best solution for both of them. They couldn’t go on this way. They each had different goals, different objectives in life that were poles apart. Her mind knew that, but the thought didn’t stop her body from responding to Taylor’s touch.

  With one hand, he cupped his hand behind her neck and drew her forward. Nuzzling her ear, his voice was hot and warm, sending shivers across her skin. “I want to make love to you, Piper. We’re good together, and I don’t just mean in bed.”

  Closing her eyes, Piper let his voice, his words swirl through her. Those cherished words raced through her and nearly had her on her knees. No man had ever said those words to her, so why would Taylor? She was so close to falling for him that it wouldn’t take much to send her over the edge and into the abyss of heartbreak. She knew it. She had to resist the thought that he could be her forever man. The man she’d spend the rest of her days with. As her mind took an imaginary leap forward, there was no other man she wanted to stand beside, only Taylor. Maybe it was already too late for her, and she’d fallen and not known it.

  Pulling back a little, she looked into his eyes and that was a mistake. When they’d first met, she’d thought he had eyes that saw right through a person. Now, watching him, looking deep into those depths, she knew it was true.

  The phone rang, breaking the spell of desire between them.

  Alex jumped up and raced to the kitchen. “It’s probably Mom.”

  Piper watched Alex go, then let out a surprised little scream that was quickly silenced by Taylor’s hot mouth on hers. He pulled her onto his lap and then rolled, pinning her beneath him.

  His mouth was hot and urgent against hers, and she let him take her deeply. The pressure of his body against hers made her want to reconsider staying with him. He could take her to heaven, she knew that. The crash back to earth was going to be painful, she knew that, too. Easing back from the kiss, she tried to cool the passion raging between them. He was like one giant overdose of chocolate. Just because she wanted him, it didn’t make him good for her.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked, and sat up. “I can feel you pulling away.”

  Piper sat and curved her hair around one ear and avoided his gaze. “I’m just not comfortable with Alex in the other room.”

  Taylor stared at her, his eyes hard and assessing. “I’m not convinced. Something else is going on. Is it Elizabeth again?”

  “Taylor, what are we doing together? You know I’m not the type of woman you usually go for.”

  “So what? I happen to like being with you.”

  “And that surprises you, doesn’t it?”

  “Again, so what? I’m willing to go with the flow a while longer, see where we get to.”

  “And that’s where we differ.”

  “Are you saying you want to know my intentions toward you?”

  “No. I’m saying I already know your intentions, and they won’t coexist with mine. We have some things in common, but in the long run you’ll be moving on, and I’ll be left holding my heart in pieces. I’ve done it before. I don’t want to do it again.” She stood and walked toward the door just as Alex entered the living room.

  “She wants to talk to you,” he s
aid, and held the phone out to Taylor.

  “Piper, wait. Just a minute,” Taylor said, and took the phone.

  Though his gaze remained on hers, he spoke to Caroline.

  Without knowing what else to do while he was on the phone, Piper started to empty the dishwasher. She hadn’t gotten far when Taylor’s hand on her arm stopped her. “Don’t. This isn’t why I want you here.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not.” He pulled her away and shut the dishwasher. “We need to talk.”

  The hairs on the back of her neck stood up when she heard that phrase. It was always the beginning of bad news, the end times were near. Protective instincts jumped into high gear as her heart raced and her breathing came too fast. “Taylor, it’s okay. Really. I understand.” Did she ever. This was the part where he said he didn’t need her any longer, thanks for a good time, now have a nice life, and I’ll get back to mine. Echoes of the past bombarded her. Just like her ex. She extricated her arm from his grip as bursts of anxiety jumped across her skin. “I’m sure you have things to do, and it’s been a long week for me. So I’ll just get going.” Before I humiliate myself more.

  “Caroline’s coming back. A week early.”

  “Is everything okay?” She moved away from him and leaned against the counter while she caught her breath.

  “Yes. The company feels she’s ready to start at this point, and she’s flying into Albuquerque the end of next week.” He glanced away and ran a hand through his hair, his gesture of nerves.

  Forcing a smile, Piper tried to keep her emotions from her face, but the telltale blush crawling up her neck betrayed her. “That’s great news. I’m sure Alex will be thrilled to have his mom back.”

  “Yeah. I’m sure.” Taylor stuffed his hands into his pockets and turned away from her, not sure how he was going to feel about Alex going back with Caroline. It was certainly the right thing to do, for them to be a family again, but, damn, he was going to miss the kid, miss that feeling of family that he had wanted but never had when he’d been a kid. “It will be good to have my life back again. Back to my usual routines. The way it used to be.”

  He looked at his watch, still ticking down the last few days. May as well shut it off now. No point in—

  “Taylor?”

  Distracted, without finishing the small task, he turned back to Piper. She stood by the door, looking like she was ready to bolt. Regret had replaced desire in her eyes, and he didn’t like it one bit. This thing between them was more heated than his past relationships, and something he didn’t want to let go of yet. Despite her reservations, he really liked her company and didn’t want to stop seeing her now. This relationship hadn’t imploded the way so many others had. The why of it he didn’t explore too deeply at the moment. “You’re going to go, aren’t you?”

  “Yes. You’re obviously capable of handling Alex without my help, so I think it’s for the best. You don’t need me.” She curved her hair behind her ear and moistened her lips, avoided his gaze.

  “Best for you or me?” Anger snapped inside of him. This wasn’t what he wanted, wasn’t how he wanted to end things between them. Hell, he didn’t see any reason to end anything between them at all. They were adults, and if it worked, then so be it.

  “For both of us. Taylor, you know I’m not what you need, even though there’s a healthy dose of passion between us. We had a beautiful experience together, and I’ll cherish that. But I think all you want is a temporary lover, and I’ve been there, done that before. The same story only ends in heartbreak for me, so I’m not really interested in going there again.”

  “Coward.”

  Shocked, Piper stared at him. “What?”

  “Yes. You’re a coward. You’re afraid to experience your life. You’ve been so busy trying to manage Elizabeth’s life, and worrying about what’s going to happen to your aunt, that you’ve forgotten to live your own. Don’t do that, Piper. Don’t let go of something before you even know what you have.” He stepped closer, the light in his eyes dark, intense, and a little frightening. Leaning over, he pinned her between his hands braced on the counter behind her. “Don’t be afraid of me.”

  Tears pricked her eyes. Though her chin trembled, she didn’t break down. “I’m not afraid to experience life. I’m afraid to have my heart trampled all over again. My last serious boyfriend was someone just like you. I was never enough for him. In his head he had ended our relationship, but only when I walked in on him in bed with another woman was it over for me. By hanging on too long I was humiliated and it’s not something I’m likely to forget.” She dropped her head and wiped her eyes with her fingertips. “I know I’ll never be enough for you, either, so it’s best if I walk away now, before we both get hurt.”

  “Piper, you’re convicting me based on another man’s idiotic behavior. I don’t accept that.” His eyes turned cold, his lips pressed tight together and a muscle in his jaw twitched.

  “Life lessons, Taylor. Hard ones. I don’t need another round in the classroom to know this isn’t going to work. I’ve graduated and don’t need a refresher course.” Piper broke out of the small trap of his arms, unable to bear the close intensity of him. “I just need to go. There’s no point in any of this.”

  “No point? Piper—”

  “No! I’ll just go my way, you’ll go your way, and find someone else suitable to your lifestyle, and we’ll both be fine. I’ve put my life on hold long enough.”

  “Piper—” Anger hissed through him. This was not what he wanted at all. Was there bitter truth in her words? Probably, but he didn’t want to hear it, didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to accept it. Until he acted the fool, he didn’t want to be condemned as one.

  “No. I can’t.” She held up her hand to prevent him from speaking. “Taylor. What in the world do you want me for? You’ve had seriously better offers, I’m sure. I’ve heard the gossip at the hospital, how you are a whirlwind of affairs, and I don’t want that. I can’t take it. I let myself take what you had to offer for a time, but I know it was just a fantasy, not real life. I want more than that. I need more than what I think you’re willing to give to a relationship. Really, Taylor, our lifestyles are so not suited for each other, it’s not funny.”

  Taylor remained silent, but his eyes smoldered with anger.

  “See? You can’t deny it.” She took a backward step toward the door and pulled out her car keys. “I think I need to go now. It’s better for both of us this way, Taylor.” She shook her head. “I’m sorry. Really.”

  “Aren’t you going to say goodbye to Alex?” he asked as he turned away from her.

  “’Bye, Alex!” she called.

  “See you later,” he called back.

  “That’s not what I meant. You need to tell him you’re not coming back.”

  Opening her mouth to protest, she knew he was right. It wouldn’t be fair to Alex otherwise. “Fine.” She strode past him into the living area where Alex was playing his game.

  Taylor watched as she stooped down beside him. By the shocked expression on Alex’s face, she was indeed saying goodbye, to both of them.

  “But I don’t want you to go,” Alex said.

  “I’m sorry, Alex. I have to. Your mom’s coming back and you won’t need me anymore.”

  “But—”

  “I’m sorry.” She reached out and pulled him into a fierce embrace, leaving both of them with tears on their faces, and the knife that had twisted in Taylor’s heart shoved deeper.

  This wasn’t what he wanted. Wasn’t what Alex wanted, obviously. Telling himself that he hadn’t used her to help him with Alex, he took a step forward, then stopped. Dammit, he hadn’t used her, but she’d been seriously helpful to him with Alex. He scrubbed his hand over his face, trying not to think too hard, but that was impossible right now. He wasn’t about to reach out to her again when she’d made up her mind. He watched as she ran out the door.

  Alex rushed over to him. “She said she’s leavi
ng.”

  “Yeah, I know.” He gripped his jaw shut.

  “Did you have a fight? Mom and Dad fight sometimes.” He looked down.

  “No. Sometimes things just don’t work out between adults, Alex.”

  “I like her.”

  “Me, too.”

  “I’m gonna miss her.”

  Pain squeezed his chest as he reached out to Alex’s shoulder, needing that connection with family. “Me, too.”

  Piper drove away from Taylor’s house, then pulled over to a side street and stopped the car under a lamppost. Covering her face with her hands, she cried. Over and over she’d told herself, Taylor wasn’t right for her, wasn’t the one she would be able to have a long-term relationship with. Unfortunately, her heart hadn’t listened.

  She plucked several tissues from a box sitting on the passenger seat and covered her face with them. The pain behind her eyes was so sharp that she thought she’d faint from it.

  “Dammit,” she cursed aloud. Once again, she’d done it. Set aside her own life to help someone else in need. Taylor had needed help, and she’d served herself up on a silver platter. Was she the ultimate enabler or what? Maybe she needed a counselor to figure out why she did things like this. Was he right? Was she afraid to live life, to reach out and really take what life had to offer, the consequences be damned? No. She couldn’t do it. The responsibility gene was deeply rooted inside her, and she couldn’t just let it go.

  She sighed, then took a few deep breaths. She liked people, she liked helping them through difficult times, whether that was an illness, an injury, or a personal crisis. All kinds of people needed all kinds of help. And it helped keep her from thinking of how much help she needed in her own life.

  Drying her tears, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes until the pain in her head subsided enough for her to drive home. Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God. She was so stupid! Taylor and Alex were something that she craved so desperately. Or at least what they represented. She wanted a family, needed to belong, wanted all the complications that having a family required, and would cherish every minute of being a wife and a mother. Good times and bad. That’s what families were for, right?