The Road Home

by Palmer, Fiona

  He nodded. ‘Brady and Taj are Helen and Rick Ashworth’s kids.’

  ‘Really?’ Lara sighed. ‘It’s weird. This place has always been home but I don’t seem to know anyone.’

  ‘That happens when you move away and don’t stay in contact,’ Jack said.

  Ouch. Where had that come from? Just then, Lara saw Brady and Taj shoot down the tunnel. ‘Oh my God,’ she said, starting to feel giddy. She could hear the water rushing down the slide.

  Jack chuckled, and the deep richness of his voice trickled down her back.

  Finally they were at the front of the queue. Jack put his mat down, sat on it and shot off down the tube without so much as a glance in Lara’s direction. Lara peered over the edge and saw Noah still chatting to Trish down on the lawn beside the swimming pool. It looked like she was going it alone.

  ‘Here we go,’ she mumbled as she sat herself on the mat. Her heart was pounding. The kids in the line told her to hurry up but she barely heard them.

  Lara pushed off and leant back as the tunnel opened up. It felt like she’d left her belly back at the top. She slid down and around the bends, fighting not to scream as she flew around the corners, feeling her body slide up to the edge and picturing the deadly fall on the other side. It seemed to go on forever. At last, she straightened up, went into the last turn, and shot out into the water.

  She managed to plant her feet on the bottom of the pool and sweep her hair back from her face while coughing out water she’d swallowed. And there was Jack, stepping out of the pool without a drop of water on his head, all cool and calm while she was impersonating a drowned rat.

  ‘So, what did ya think?’ asked Noah when she got back to her towel, still trying to get her long threads of hair under control.

  ‘Holy crap! It was freaky and fun all at the same time.’

  ‘Glad you didn’t chicken out.’ Noah smiled up from his spot on the lawn. ‘Oh, and thanks for leaving me with Trish,’ he said quietly to them both.

  Jack winked. ‘Any time, mate.’

  Lara dried herself and lay on her towel, her sunnies back on. Jack sat near Noah and pulled out some chips from the esky.

  The sunlight disappeared as a body blocked its path.

  ‘Lara? How are you?’ said a lady who was about fifty-five and wearing a large shirt over her one-piece bathers. There was something familiar about her large hazel eyes and gentle tone. ‘Come on. Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten your old teacher?’

  ‘Oh, Mrs Nichol?’ Lara said, standing up.

  ‘I’m so glad you remember me. I heard from my Ed Assistant that you were back and when I saw you here I just had to pop over and say hi. You remember going to school with Kim? I think he was two years below you.’ She waved Kim over. He looked rather embarrassed but held out his hand and when she saw the freckles across his cheeks she could just picture him in her primary class. Mrs Nichol went back to her husband, after promising to buy Lara a coffee one day.

  ‘Good to see you again,’ Kim said.

  ‘Likewise, Kim. What do you do these days?’

  ‘I run the tyre shop in town. So if you ever need help in that department, give us a call. I hear you’re going to be running the farm?’

  ‘Yeah, it’s gonna be a big job.’ Lara fiddled with her hair. ‘I’m sure the whole town is talking about me.’

  Kim blushed. ‘Yes, they are. But it’s all good.’

  ‘Somehow I doubt that.’ Surely some would be questioning her ability to run the farm. There would be a lot out there like Jack.

  Kim looked over his shoulder. ‘Anyway, I promised my daughter I’d take her down the slide again. But I’ll see you around, yeah?’

  ‘Will do. Cheers, Kim.’

  It wasn’t the last time people approached her, reintroducing themselves, offering to help her out or inviting her to dinner. She’d forgotten what it was like in a small community. Out here, every person waved or said hello, even when Lara didn’t have the foggiest who they were.

  ‘I’m going to get an ice-cream. Anyone want one?’ she asked the boys.

  ‘Cornetto, please,’ Noah requested.

  Jack looked like he was asleep so she didn’t bother asking him again, but she did pause long enough to admire the amazing sight of Jack lying on his towel half naked.

  In line, while she waited for the wet kids to get their treats, Lara felt eyes drilling holes in her back. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled.

  ‘So, what do you think you’re doing, girlie?’ asked a deep voice. Tired grey eyes stared at her. A stocky man with bowed legs and not much hair left on his head stood there commandingly.

  ‘I beg your pardon?’ she asked.

  ‘Sinclair’s the name. I think your brother has rocks in his head. Don’t know what he’s thinking, letting a city girl come and run Erindale.’

  ‘Erindale is my family’s farm,’ Lara said.

  He pointed his bent, callused finger at her. ‘You have no business trying to run a farm on your own without knowing what you’re doing.’ His eyes glossed over as he kicked his rant up a gear. ‘You city sheilas come out here, marry our sons and then decide you can’t handle it and run back to the city, taking half the bloody farm money and driving us into the ground. I’ve seen the likes of you, girlie. Mark my words, you lot are no good. You won’t make it, so do us all a favour and just go back now before you destroy it all.’

  Lara smiled sweetly, seething inside. ‘Well, as a matter of fact, it’s actually none of your business what we do with our land. So I’d ask you politely to keep your opinion to yourself and your nose out of it. You know nothing about me.’

  She turned around, bought two ice-creams, then headed back to the boys without a backwards glance, marvelling at the man’s nerve.

  After Lara left Jack had propped himself up on his arms. In between idle chitchat with Noah he’d been watching Mr Sinclair talk to Lara. He couldn’t help it; his eyes just seemed to find her. He knew Donald’s opinions, which were being whispered about town. In fact, he’d help fuel them one night in the pub after Noah had broken the news to him. But that night he’d been upset. He’d neglected to tell them that Lara would be on a probation of sorts, that she wouldn’t be on the farm long enough to do irreversible damage. That Noah would go back to his agreement with Jack if she couldn’t handle it. He wasn’t overly proud of that, but the truth would be around town soon enough. So Jack only had a few months to wait. Or maybe six if she was as stubborn as she sounded.

  Lara got back and threw her loose change into her bag.

  ‘Are you okay, Larz?’ asked Noah, taking his ice-cream from her.

  Lara flopped down onto her towel and forced a smile. Old man Sinclair had really ruffled her feathers. Jack knew he’d only have said what a few people were already thinking.

  ‘I’m dandy. Just hot.’ Her voice sounded thick with emotion.

  Lara barely said a word for the next hour, not even mentioning the incident to Noah. Jack had to admire her inner strength; her determination was obviously greater than he had suspected. He quickly retracted the thought from his mind. He didn’t care what she was like – she would leave soon, just like the rest of them did.

  Noah reached over and held her arm. ‘You’ve been awfully quiet. Have you just realised how much you’re going to miss me?’

  ‘Yep.’ She sighed. ‘But I’m ready to go home when you are.’

  ‘All right. How about you take a trip down the slide with me and then we’ll hit the road?’ Noah said, standing up. ‘If that’s okay with you, Jack?’

  ‘Yep, fine by me. Don’t forget your farewell at the pub tonight, too,’ said Jack.

  Noah scratched the few dark hairs on his chest. ‘I won’t forget. You gonna come, Larz?’

  Lara stood up to join Noah. ‘No, but thanks. It’s your night. If I go, there’ll be a million questions for the new girl and I’ll steal all your thunder. Besides, I’m buggered after this week.’

  ‘You sure? I’d love to have
you there.’

  Lara slipped her arm through his and they started to walk towards the slide. ‘I’ll get to see you off tomorrow.’

  Jack watched them go. He was really going to miss his mate. For a while he’d wished that Noah had never met Amanda, but deep down he knew this was a good change for Noah. He’d be complete and happy now. If only Jack could find that for himself.

  13

  LARA opened her eyes and groaned. It was far too early. The sun wasn’t even up yet. She thought about lying in bed but was too restless. Today Noah was leaving. Her heart ached as if she’d never see him again. He’d only be five hours away, not so different from when she lived in Perth. But over the last week she’d got used to his cocky grin, the laughter in his eyes and his stirring ways again. Being with Noah had filled a hole in her chest, a big hole where family had once resided. Noah was blood. She didn’t have anyone else.

  Lara threw back the covers and checked her watch. It was Noah’s old one with a leather band, so her sleek gold watch wouldn’t get ‘scratched and mangled’, as he’d put it. So now she wore his boots and his watch, and he’d even left some work shirts and jeans for her that he didn’t want. She was a Noah clone.

  In the corner of her room were four clear plastic tubs, all stacked with high-heel shoes. Lara opened the top one and took out her favourite pair: black peep-toes with silver threads woven into the fabric. Now they were destined to gather dust. She put the shoes back, pushed the lid on and held the box. Maybe she should keep a few favourites and sell the rest on eBay.

  She headed towards the kitchen and flicked on the kettle. As she waited for it to boil, she tapped her nails on the bench, then contemplated her hands. She tugged at her white singlet and adjusted her tiny pink bed shorts as she walked back to where the phone sat. She rifled through the mosaic bowl by the phone that was full of pens, keys and coins. And nail clippers.

  ‘Bingo.’ The clippers were still in the same place Mum used to keep them.

  After making her coffee, she sat at the table studying her long nails, then held the clippers over the nail on her little finger and closed her eyes as she pushed down. She kept going until all the nails were done, then tidied them up with a file and surveyed her new, practical hands with a sigh.

  The cup of coffee she’d consumed during this ordeal wasn’t enough, so she put the kettle back on and got a spare cup for Noah. They had always liked their coffee the same way: white with two. She carried the coffees to Noah’s room.

  ‘You awake?’ she asked through the door.

  ‘Yeah,’ came a groggy reply.

  ‘I brought you a cuppa. You decent?’

  ‘Yep.’

  Lara pushed the door with her foot and it swung open.

  ‘Looks like world war three in here.’ His cupboards were half empty and the doors and drawers were all open. Clothes lay everywhere as if he’d set off a grenade underneath the whole pile. Noah swept a stack of folded clothes off the side table so she could put down the cups.

  ‘Nice,’ she said, watching the clothes fall to the floor.

  Noah made room for her to sit on his bed and fluffed up his pillows before taking the coffee. ‘I heard you up and about early.’

  Lara sat down and waved her free hand at him. ‘Was doing some pruning.’

  Noah’s hair was sticking up on the side, he had thick stubble over his jaw and his eyes were still sleepy, but he had a smile from ear to ear. ‘That’s my girl. You’re on your way.’ He clinked his cup with hers and winked. ‘Thanks for this.’ He took a sip and glanced around his room. ‘I can’t believe I won’t be waking up in here any more. I’ve spent my whole life in this room.’

  ‘Weird, hey.’

  ‘You can say that again.’

  ‘Weird, hey,’ she said with a chuckle.

  Noah rolled his eyes and laughed. ‘That’s one thing about you, sis. You’re still a knucklehead. But I’m gonna miss you,’ he added softly. ‘It’s been the best week ever.’

  Lara stared into her cup and nodded.

  ‘So, today’s the day.’ Noah’s cheeky grin spread across his face. ‘Do I get a cooked breakfast in bed too?’

  ‘Wouldn’t push your luck. Jeez, what did your last slave die of?’

  Lara saw a photo frame peeking out from under a shirt on Noah’s bedside table. She pulled it out and smiled at the picture of her family. Her dad stood at the back against the tray of the ute, his arms circled around Lara’s shoulders. She wore a white shirt with a rainbow on the front, and next to her Noah wore a blue singlet and had a shaved head. Her mum rubbed shoulders with her dad and had an arm over Noah’s shoulder. It had just been an ordinary day when their aunty Carol had visited the farm and wanted a keepsake photo.

  ‘Jesus. Look at my hair.’ Lara laughed.

  ‘It was the eighties. What did you expect?’

  Lara smiled as she studied her parents. This was how she remembered them: Dad tall and lean like Noah, and her mum with her blond hair, and so beautiful. ‘Do you ever worry that you’ll forget them and what they looked like?’

  Noah shrugged. ‘I did at first and it’s probably why I’ve never changed anything in the house. I was worried that by changing Dad’s chair, I’d forget him sitting in it.’

  ‘Yeah, I’ve kept Millie for the same reason.’

  ‘Having Amanda around has made me realise I have to move on with my life. That doesn’t mean forgetting our parents, but it means letting go, to some degree.’ He nodded to the picture she held. ‘I’ll always keep that by my bed. It was hard to look at it in the beginning but now it’s okay.’

  Lara could understand that. Every time she’d stumbled on a picture of her parents she’d fallen to pieces, so she’d ended up hiding them all away as the pain had been too much. Maybe now it was time to bring them back out, so she could be stronger like Noah. She put the picture back and got up off his bed.

  ‘How about I make brekkie so you can make a start on your room? And I want it spotless in case Mel ever comes to stay,’ she said, screwing up her nose.

  ‘Fair crack of the whip, sis. She’ll be spick and span. How is young Melanie?’ Noah raised his eyebrows a few times.

  Lara laughed. ‘Yes, she’s still delusional in thinking you’re all right. I’m going to give her a call later today.’ She knew that after Noah had left and she was all alone she’d need someone to talk to.

  A few hours later, Jack came around to help Noah carry the big jarrah wardrobe out to the trailer. Noah wouldn’t need the bed but Amanda had said an extra cupboard would be handy. Lara held the door open while the boys grunted and puffed. Once they were through the door she ran ahead to get the gate. It was only ten o’clock but the heat was already biting into her skin. The birds had retreated to the shady trees, and the glare off the silver sheds was painful on the eyes.

  ‘Ready, lift!’ said Noah and they heaved the wardrobe up onto the trailer. Boxes were piled in the ute tray. Mainly clothes, shoes, some photos and his water-ski gear, now that he’d be closer to the ocean. He was travelling light, really, compared with what he would have taken had they sold the farm.

  Jack brushed his hands on his shorts while he waited for Noah to tie on the rope and throw it over. Lara stood by the trailer, not sure of what to do to help. She was wearing a red-checked shirt of Noah’s to keep the sun off her shoulders. Lara liked the shirt. It made her feel like a farmer.

  She saw Jack staring at her fingers so she tucked them into her pockets, hating the thought of him scrutinising her short nails. He glanced up, meeting her eyes for a fleeting second before turning away. She couldn’t tell whether he was impressed, amused or indifferent.

  ‘Heads up,’ yelled Noah as he threw the rope over.

  ‘What else do you need?’ Jack asked, tying up the last of the rope.

  Noah ran his hand through his hair, this morning’s cocky still visible in an unruly tuft. ‘That’s it. I was just waiting for you to help with that.’ He pointed to the wardrobe. ‘I’ll duck i
nside and do a last-minute check.’

  Lara stood with Jack as Noah disappeared. He kicked his boot at the dirt until Noah was back.

  ‘I’m all set. If I’ve forgotten anything, I’ll pick it up at the bucks’ night in April.’ Noah held out his hand for Jack, shook it, then pulled him in for a bear hug. ‘Cheers, mate. Thanks for everything.’ Noah stepped back. ‘Catch ya soon.’

  ‘Yeah. Will do. Take it easy.’ They shared a meaningful glance before Noah turned to Lara.

  ‘Can’t believe I’m leaving this place, but I’m sure Erindale’s in good hands.’ He wrapped his arms around her as she struggled to control her tears. ‘I’ll miss you, sis.’

  ‘Me too, Noah. I love you.’ She struggled to keep her emotions in check.

  ‘Yeah, right back at ya. Remember, I’m only a phone call away.’ Noah held her at arm’s length. He blinked quickly, before dropping his hands and heading to the ute. ‘I want full reports, okay?’ Noah smiled as he stuck his head out the ute window.

  Jack came and stood beside Lara. ‘Go on. Nick off before you change your mind,’ he said.

  ‘Bye, Noah!’ yelled Lara. The ute moved forward through the bush track past the sheds and on towards the main road.

  Lara was barely holding it together. The feeling of loss snaked its way around her heart. All that remained of Noah was a trail of dust that was floating away on the gentle breeze. She kept her eyes straight ahead as a single tear made a path over her cheek down to her chin.

  Jack cleared his throat. ‘He’s not gone for good, Lara. He’ll probably call tonight to make sure you haven’t burnt down the place already.’

  Her body shook as she laughed. ‘Thanks, Jack.’ She wiped away the tear with her fingers.

  ‘Um, well, I gotta head back to work. So, good luck.’ Jack was still staring at her when he blurted, ‘Your hair is so long.’

  Lara couldn’t hide her surprise. ‘Yeah, I haven’t cut it since Mum and Dad … My mum had really long hair, just like this.’

  ‘You look a lot like her,’ he said quietly, then headed towards his ute.