Hard Justice: The Asylum Fight Club Book 3

by Bianca Sommerland

  “It’s okay. Noah’s just...whatever set him off…” Reed gave his head a firm shake, as though casting away something he refused to let settle in his mind. “He went to jail for killing someone. You know that, right?

  Sure, he knew it, but the knowledge wasn’t something he’d associated with the man who’d taken Jamie to his bed and into his arms. It seemed like a lie. Noah had never talked about it, and if Jamie were honest with himself, he hadn’t wanted to ask.

  “Yes…” Fisting the covers, he studied his long-ruined manicure, the black polish flaked off of all but one nail. “Jacks said something about it before I came here, but I thought he was still in prison.” He shrugged. “I was kinda surprised he was here, but...we never talked about it.”

  “Well, fuck. Lucky me.” Reed rubbed his hands up and down his colorful flannel cover thighs and sighed. “Long story short, some guys outside the club got shot by this fucking skinhead gang, my brother was grabbed and...Noah saved him. Killed one guy with his bare hands. He can be...pretty hardcore.”

  “Oh shit.” Jamie’s hand spasmed around the fistful of blanket. “I’m…” That Ezran had been through so much and hadn’t completely lost his shit was a fucking miracle. “How come they put him away for that? Sounds like the asshole deserved what he got.”

  Reed’s jaw tensed. “Damn right he did. But they called it ‘excessive force’. Noah’s training and all that shit.” He pressed his tongue into his bottom lip. “Which is why… Rhodey, his uncle, is the one who trained him. So when Noah started losing it, he had to…” He took a deep breath. “He’ll fix Noah. But it could take a bit. Noah knows that and he didn’t want you to feel...abandoned.”

  The way Reed said abandoned told Jamie the guy might know a little too much about what that felt like, but he didn’t want to pry into his business. Brow pulling tight, a headache beginning behind his right eye, he frowned. “What is there to fix? He’s always been...” Gaze softening, he recalled the sensation of Noah’s knuckles brushing against his cheek. “...amazing.”

  “Uh huh.” Reed’s tone turned dry. “To you. And he’s not even treating you like he does most subs. Like, you’re not even sure if you’re submitting right. With the old Noah, you’d never have to wonder. You’d know.”

  Not a real submissive…

  Had he been part of the reason Noah lost it? Because he hadn’t been giving the man what he needed when he needed it most? Beyond the terrible information about Ezran, had he somehow eroded whatever strength of mind Noah usually had?

  Jamie sank down against the pillows. “How? How would I know?”

  “It’s hard to explain, but...you know when you feel those boundaries closing in? Like…” Reed brought his fingers up to trace along the collar around his neck. “Like how secure this feels. There’s no question. No doubt. Just complete surrender.”

  Looking down at the cuff he’d placed over his own wrist, Jamie fingered the edges of the leather-padded iron. The moments when he’d felt that with Noah had been amazing. But so had everything else. He’d never felt more complete than when they were together. More seen. Except, had he been seeing Noah? Or had it been all about him? What he wanted?

  What you want. What you need.

  He’d gladly taken what Noah had to give, but he’d never given anything in return. Not really. Not like Reed did to Curtis or Matt did to Lawson. Sure, both subs could get mouthy and bratty, but they were punished and forgiven in a way that had transfixed him every single time. He felt his own gaze darken and sighed.

  “I was going to brave the hoards downtown today. Go Christmas shopping. But—” He brought his hand up to his cheek, chain clanking against the bed frame, eyes going wide. “Oh, fuck. The chain… I lost the key.”

  The effort Reed made not to laugh brought out a choked sound. “Dumbass. But Lawson can get it off you. Just...like don’t piss him off, too?”

  Cheeks heating, Jamie threw Reed a sheepish look. “Yeah, bro. I’ll try.”

  “Cool. I’ll go get him.” Reed hopped off the bed. Started for the door, then glanced back. “Honest, as messy as things are, I’ve never seen Noah like that with anyone. You might not be the perfect sub for him yet, but...the key word is yet.”

  A smile broke across Jamie’s lips, reaching his eyes and warming his chest. “Thanks, dude. I’m gonna do my best. I swear.”

  “I know you will.” Reed grinned at him. “You’re Noah’s boy.”

  “Noah’s boy...” Jamie’s hand went to his throat, to the collar Noah had given him. “Hey, Reed?”

  Reed looked over his shoulder, hand on the door frame. “Yeah?”

  He poked his tongue at his lip. “Want to go shopping with me?”

  “Hell, yeah.” He grinned, mischief glinting in his deep blue eyes. “I’ll wear my ‘Can’t Shelf This’ T and my rainbow Santa hat. Clear the crowds out of our path.”

  Groaning, Jamie sank down under the covers. “Go. Change. I’ll meet you downstairs in forty-five.”

  Reed went out to get Lawson, who must’ve been hanging out in the loft because it took him less than a minute to come into the room, pale and grim-faced, but at least more mobile than he’d been in days.

  Jamie lowered his gaze, instinctively drawn to the kind of submission the man demanded with his presence alone. Matt might act out with him occasionally—plus he had a bit of a temper—his relationship with Lawson seemed...bounded in all the right ways.

  Light footsteps approached the bed, then a gentle touch under his chin lifted his gaze. “Ready?”

  “Yes, sir.” Lawson’s touch grounding him, he wanted to swear when heat pricked the corners of his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

  “Shh. You’re okay.” Lawson glanced at his wrist. “I’m going to sit with you and take care of that. Understood?”

  Jamie nodded, conscious of the Dom’s presence in a way he usually only registered Noah. Not sexual, but very much there. His crisp white shirt and dress pants might’ve made him seem stiff, professional, but instead, he was familiar. And the way he neatly folded his sleeves up his forearms made him seem relaxed. Approachable.

  Lowering to the edge of the bed, facing him, Lawson placed a small leather fold on his knee, undid the tiny clip, then spread it out. Several different lengths of strange metal tools were inside. He eyed the lock, black hair spilling over his forehead as he pulled one out. “Up.”

  Lifting his wrist, Jamie watched the man’s face as he bent to his work. Remembered the moment when Noah had told him he could watch Noah fuck the man, and blushed so hard his entire body turned red, down to his fingernails.

  One brow arched, Lawson looked at him, his lips curving slightly. “What was that thought?”

  Good submissives answer questions from a Dom.

  “Shi—ps.” He caught the swear before it passed his teeth.

  “Better. Keep working on that.” Lawson returned his focus to the lock. “You were saying?”

  Warm fingers brushed his wrist as Lawson worked, and Jamie shifted his right leg so his knee bent. Swallowed and looked away. “Noah said…”

  “That he would kill me in my sleep? Is that why this question is so difficult?” Lawson tapped Jamie’s knee when he shifted again. “Be still.”

  This couldn’t possibly be more humiliating.

  With his all-too-interested dick hinted it actually could get worse. Voice lowered to a whisper, nearly inaudible, he made himself answer. “That I could watch when he took you to the dungeon.”

  The lock clicked and Lawson slipped the metal cuff off his wrist. “Did he now. That’s interesting. He seemed to be shielding you from anything...too extreme.” He cocked his head. “But thank you for your honesty, pet.”

  Lawson’s warm endearment turned the moment on its head and Jamie found himself forcing his gaze from the man’s firm jaw and too-tempting mouth. That was not at all what he wanted or who he wanted it from. Not unless it was what Noah wanted.

  “Thank you, sir.” He rubbed his wrist, firmly keeping
his gaze off the man’s face. “I’m not allowed to be in here dressed, but I kinda wanted to talk to Doc before Reed and I go Christmas shopping, but not naked. Naked with Doc, I mean, not the shopping. Though I don’t want to be naked then either...”

  “No, I imagine you don’t.” Amusement lightened the shadows lingering in Lawson’s dark green eyes. “The way I see it, you have two options. One.” He lifted a finger. “You speak to Curtis. Noah gave him authority over you and he could temporarily set aside the rule.” Two fingers up now, he considered Jamie for a moment. “Two, you get dressed and speak to Doc in another room. Very respectfully. Not too close. And I will be nearby if you need to call for help.”

  “Jesus.” Jaw dropping, Jamie gathered the covers close to his hips, hard-on gone. “What the—” He nearly bit his tongue on the curse and tried to read Lawson’s expression. “Are you serious, sir?”

  Why does every Dom here have to have a poker face like a professional gambler?

  Lawson chuckled and tapped his nose. “It’s cute when subs ask me that. Usually not more than once, though. Let me know what you decide.”

  Rebelling against letting go of any bit of Noah’s hold on him, his body or mind, he nodded. “Out there, please, sir. After I shower and dress?”

  Besides, he didn’t really want to talk to Curtis. Or ask him for anything.

  “All right, then I’ll go get him for you.” Lawson rose slowly, letting out a cough that tightened his features. “Fuck. Do not tell him about that.”

  Jamie widened his eyes. No way was he going to mess up his only semi-normal relationship with a Dom. Especially Lawson. But… “You don’t look so good.”

  Lawson gave him a pointed look. “Try that again.”

  “No...sir? I won’t tell Doc anything?”

  “Better. Thank you.”

  “Lawson?” He toyed with a stray thread on the comforter.

  Halfway to the door, Lawson paused, glancing over his shoulder at him. “Yes, Jamie?”

  “I’m sorry how the fight went. It didn’t look like any of the Vegas fights I’ve been to, so maybe there are different rules and he had to knock you out?” The idea of Noah hurting anyone just to hurt them didn’t make sense, so he went with what did. “I hope you feel better soon.”

  Inhaling slowly, Lawson brushed his fingers over his lips. “This kind of fight is very different, my boy. But...keep in mind, there are things about Noah you don’t know. That he likely isn’t ready to show you. But I believe he will. You’re a good sub. Better than some believe. Make sure you show them what you’re capable of.”

  “But—” He blinked fast, face heating at the praise from a man he’d given very little reason to notice, much less like him. “Doc says I’m not a real one. And I don’t even know what a good sub is, so how can I be?”

  “You have good instincts, Jamie.” The edge of Lawson’s lips curved slightly as he nodded toward the chain. “Find better ways to use them and you’ll be just fine.”

  If asked, he’d have said making sure he followed Noah’s orders, no matter what, was a perfectly good way to be a perfectly good sub. Apparently, he’d missed something important. Not wanting to tire Lawson, who looked ready to be back in his own bed, he tongued his bottom lip and gave up on understanding, for now. “Yes, sir.”

  “It does get easier.” Lawson gave him an encouraging smile. “Listening helps. Everyone here can and will help you in their own way. Trust that, and don’t be afraid to reach out if you need to.”

  “Thank you, sir.” Swallowing just to feel his collar at his throat, he gave Lawson a small smile. “I think you’re pretty rad.”

  Lawson chuckled. “Keep that in mind when I’m the one disciplining you. Which I hope won’t be necessary anytime soon.”

  He grinned, thinking of the rumor that Lawson pretty much believed in old-fashioned OTK—over-the-knee. “Yes, sir. I’ll try not to wear out your hand.”

  “That would be wise.”

  Relief relaxed his shoulders and he watched Lawson leave the room before he showered, then dressed in something a lot warmer than a T-shirt. How the dudes around here didn’t get frostbite on their dicks with all the nudity was beyond him.

  He was zipping up when the loft door opened and Lawson stepped in with Doc. Going to the kitchen, Lawson left him and Doc alone. Heeding the man’s advice—really, it should have been a joke, but given the look on Doc’s face it obviously hadn’t—he stayed out of arm’s reach. Kept his gaze lowered, the way all the other subs seemed to around the more noteworthy Doms.

  You have to be a fucking idiot to ask him for this.

  But it was either Doc or Curtis. Lawson was in no condition.

  Only…

  Another obstacle presented itself.

  Shit. I’m not fucking allowed to talk to Doc.

  He looked to Lawson, who had his back to him and Doc, puttering around making coffee. Helpless, he tried to find a way around Noah’s rules and could only think of one. If he misjudged, it was going to fucking suck.

  “You do seem to have a tidy dilemma, don’t you, boy?” Doc regarded him from what was, as far as Jamie could tell, the precise center of the large room.

  Uncertainty locked Jamie in place as he glanced to the bag Noah had left next to the couch. He probably wasn’t supposed to touch it, but since nobody had told him not to, it was the least of all evils.

  I hope.

  Chewing his bottom lip, using the pain as a distraction, he went to the bag, unzipped it, then rummaged around. He hadn’t seen half this stuff inside. From all the rumors he’d heard about Doc, he had a general idea of what would get the man’s attention and convey his message at the same time.

  Drawing them out, he rose, then brought the objects with him to the center of the room. Kneeling, he placed them on the floor before the Dom’s feet, assuming a submissive posture.

  Doc’s glossy boots came into view as the man toed the first object. A retractable bar with cuffs on either end. “Interesting choice.”

  Jamie did his best to control his breath when the Dom moved around him, walking a circle that made the skin over his back ripple.

  The second item, Doc lifted with one hand. An electroshock whip. Turning it on with a flick of his thumb, he touched the end. A blue spark bit his finger and he tisked. “Noah really needs to up his game.”

  Squeezing his eyes shut, Jamie cursed himself. He was never going to swear again in his life, because if he did, he knew, with bone-chilling certainty, Doc would use that fucking thing on his tongue. This was such a bad idea.

  What the hell was I thinking?

  The third item was the most subtle, but also the only thing that might make his request perfectly clear.

  Doc stepped in, near enough for his polished black shoe to almost touch Jamie’s knee.

  Tense all over, Jamie struggled to calm his breaths. Forced himself not to move. Not to go over each and every way he might regret every choice he’d ever made. Including letting the man get close enough to strike.

  Fucking snake on the guy’s neck probably actually has working fangs.

  Lifting the last object, Doc remained in front of him until Jamie thought he might never move. When he did, the quick reach, followed by a snick, pulled Jamie’s spine straight. Collar hooked by Doc’s finger, the leash he held firmly attached to the ring, gave Jamie the answer he’d needed. But still wasn’t sure he wanted.

  I don’t know if I can do this.

  Bending low, an eerie smile tilting lips that under other circumstances, on another man, would have been handsome as sin, Doc forced him to meet the depths of his gaze. “If all goes well, you will be the submissive you should have been… And forgiven.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  If Reed hadn’t met Rhodey, this whole fucked up mess with Noah would be freaking him out. Shit was bad. Noah having to leave and get his head fixed was bad. But Rhodey kept candy at his safehouse, so he...couldn’t be that bad.

  Right?

  Up on th
e bar, eating a PopTart, Reed reached over to flick on the coffee machine. Almost noon, he should probably get dressed for his shopping trip with Jamie, but today had been a stay-in-pajama-pants-and-fuck-adulting day. Besides, he had a bit of leisure time while Curtis was hanging with Lawson, so no grumbling over appropriate outfits or crumbs, and making Reed pick every single one up with tweezers.

  Or how his ass didn’t belong on the bar. Which he cleaned constantly, and nobody really minded, so what was the big deal? Besides, it was comfortable. Gave him a good view of the room. Then he could see what needed to be done or chill out reading comics. Anything besides think of where Noah was. What Rhodey had to do to keep him out of that homicidal headspace.

  And what had put him there.

  The door opened, but those weren’t boots, so no worries. He licked some strawberry filling from the corner of his lip, grinning as Matt stepped into the bar. He must’ve come in from work and gone right upstairs to see Lawson while Reed was raiding the treats Tracey kept stocked for him in the galley.

  “Hey, I wasn’t expecting you back at sane hours.” Reed leaned over to grab two mugs. “Got time for coffee? Or shopping? We can look in the all-my-clothes-are-practical-and-boring section.”

  That got a snort from Matt, who glanced over his shoulder before he stole a kiss from Reed, finding a bit more strawberry filling that sweetened the touch of his tongue. When he pulled back, there was zero regret in his blue eyes. “Can’t. Gotta help Law plan the New Year’s party. But you have fun.”

  “I’m picking you up some stuff while we’re out. I promise, nothing sparkly.” Those threadbare jeans of Matt’s were fucking hot, but about ready to fall apart. Reed used his fingers to scoop some sugar into his cup just to watch Matt cringe. “Speaking of Lawson, he doing okay?”

  After snatching the sugar dish out of his reach with a mock stern look, Matt plunked down with his coffee on a stool a few feet away. “I think so? Not that he should be out of bed. But Mister Drama Queen chaining himself up kinda made it impossible to keep him there. Once he’s up, you know him. He’s up.” Matt made a face. “I could fuck up Noah myself if he were still here. For the ring and for leaving Lawson and Curtis with his sub to handle.”