Ceaseless

by Abbi Glines

  I shrugged, “I’m just on this date because Miranda begged me. You know I can’t tell her no. So, no worries. I’d say you could take the redhead instead of me but Miranda needs me tonight. So, you’re stuck with me.”

  Jay’s eyes went wide, “Wait. No. I don’t want to be on a date with anyone else. I want to be with you. I’ve missed you. That back there was just me being a dick. I’m used to asking girls out whenever one seems entertaining. But it’s a habit. I would turn her and anyone else down if I had a chance at going out with you instead.”

  Well, that was sweet but it was unfortunate. Because, habit or not, I wasn’t stupid enough to go there. “That habit of yours isn’t a healthy one and it’s mean. Go finish what you started. I’ll wait with Miranda and Nathan.” I replied and walked toward the door where Miranda and Nathan had gone to give us some privacy. Not that we needed it.

  “Sorry for the hold up. Once he is finished finalizing his date for tomorrow night, we’ll go.”

  Nathan closed his eyes and shook his head. “Stupid,” he mumbled. When he opened them back up he looked at me apologetically. “I’m sorry about that. He’s a major flirt. But I guess you know that.”

  Actually I didn’t. Back in high school he hadn’t flirted with anyone but me.

  “The Jay I know would never have done that. It pisses me off. I wish you’d flip him off and go back upstairs. Maybe call up Dank Walker since he’s hot after your bod and wow him with your sexy ass.” Miranda was mad. Jay was in for it.

  “You know Dank Walker?” Nathan asked. “As in Cold Soul’s lead singer?” I could hear the disbelief in his voice.

  “Yep she knows him. I saw him carrying her books to class today.” Miranda replied smugly. I hadn’t realized she’d seen that.

  “Okay, I’m ready. Again I’m sorry about that.” Jay said as he came up beside us.

  “You’re a dick,” Nathan replied. “A stupid dick.”

  Jay let out a frustrated sigh, “Yeah, I know.”

  Chapter Seven

  Pagan

  If Jay apologized one more time I was going to cram a breadstick down his throat. At least then he would shut up. I’d tried to change the subject several times and when that didn’t’ work I’d started joining in on Miranda and Nathan’s conversation. Which worked out well for a while but now they were huddled together whispering on their side of the large booth and we were on our side with my purse between us as a barrier.

  “Are you going to forgive me?” Jay asked.

  “I am not mad, Jay. There is nothing to forgive. I’m on this date for Miranda. I never agreed to it because I wanted to spend time with you. So, please, let’s talk about something else.” I was a broken record.

  “So this disinterest I’m getting from you is not because I was a jackass but because you really didn’t care about seeing me to begin with?” he asked with a small amount of surprise in his tone.

  “Exactly. You’re an old friend. It was nice to see you the other night but that is about it. I’m here for Miranda.”

  Jay leaned back in his seat and fiddled with the napkin on his plate. “I had one shot to change your mind and I screwed that up.” He was pouting. Fantastic.

  “We had our thing. It is a really good memory but now we’re older. Things change.”

  “Your taking my breath away when you walk into a room hasn’t changed,” he replied when he lifted his eyes to look back at me.

  That might just be sweet enough to get him out of trouble if I was interested. He was just a good friend. I reached over and squeezed his hand. “Thank you. That was nice to hear. But can we just agree to be friends. That way when your habit of asking attractive girls out gets in the way we can laugh about it,” I teased.

  Jay gave me a crooked grin. “God, I’ve missed you.”

  “Well I haven’t really missed you all that much,” I replied then burst into laughter at the hurt look on his face. “I’m joking. I missed you too.” Maybe. When I thought about him. Which hadn’t been much over the past year.

  “Have you two made up over there? Because if I hear Jay apologize one more time I may shove him into oncoming traffic,” Nathan said from across the table.

  “Yes, all is well. We are going to be friends and Jay can ask out anyone he wants to, whenever he wants to.” I replied. Nathan studied Jay for a moment with a concerned look on his face, and then forced a smile.

  “If y’all are okay with that set up, then we are too.”

  Miranda nodded,” Yep. Sounds like a good plan. Besides, Pagan has a date with Dank Walker Friday night. He gave her backstage passes to his concert. And he’s letting me in too.”

  “How did you know about that?” I hadn’t said anything to her about it yet.

  She shrugged, “Gee told me.”

  Figures. Gee was making sure I came. She’d already figured out Miranda got me to do things I didn’t want to. After, tonight though, I really did want to go. Dank Walker didn’t seem like such a bad decision after being out with a “normal, nice” guy. At least when I was with Dank he acted like I was the only person around.

  “Did you just meet him last night at the club?” Jay asked with a scowl on his face.

  “No. He picked up her shoes when we got here yesterday. She dropped a whole box of shoes in the street. He got off his big bad motorcycle and came picked them up and carried them to her room. I think he’s stalking her.” Miranda wiggled her eyebrows.

  “His band isn’t known for their good reputation. They’re rowdy and they get into trouble. Hanging around him isn’t safe, Pagan.” Jay didn’t sound convincing.

  “So far he’s been nothing but nice, polite, and very attentive,” I replied as I scooted out of my seat. I wasn’t going to be put in the position of defending Dank to Jay. That was ridiculous.

  “The important thing here is my best friend is dating the lead singer of Cold Soul and I have backstage passes. Let’s not get off topic,” Miranda chimed in. Nathan didn’t look real thrilled with this either. Now both of them were scowling. A little jealousy would be good for Nathan. Miranda was making it seem too easy.

  “Why did he give you tickets backstage?” Nathan asked as he reached for Miranda’s hand.

  “Because he knew Pagan wouldn’t go without me,” she replied. She was also very right. I wouldn’t brave that scene if she wasn’t beside me.

  “Hmmm,” was Nathan’s only response. Poor guy. He wanted to protest and knew he had no right because he’d just met her.

  “So, what movie are we going to see?” I asked to change the subject.

  “Well I was gonna suggest an action movie since there are several out I’d like to see, but after hearing that y’all are gonna be hanging out with a rock band later this week I feel the need to step up my game. So whatever romance you want to see I’m willing.” Nathan replied.

  Miranda laughed, “Oh, you’re in luck. I’ve seen the only romance out right now. It sucked.”

  “Thank God,” Jay sighed dramatically.

  “Action movie it is then,” Nathan announced.

  Dank

  I sat on the edge of Pagan’s bed and glanced at the clock for the hundredth time in the span of ten minutes. “How long has she been gone?” I asked Gee as she walked into the room.

  “I was with you, remember?”

  She had been, but she’d headed home before me. I’d started worrying about Pagan with neither of us watching over her.

  “Before you point out that I got back an hour before you, I might as well tell you I made a quick stop along the way. I checked in on Pagan’s mom and did a sweep to see if I felt the little voodoo bitch around here anywhere. He’s gone. Her mom is good.”

  I couldn’t get mad at her for that.

  “She’s with him.”

  Gee only nodded. She and I both knew this had to happen. I couldn’t stop it. Her heart had to choose. But damn, it was hard. Today she’d melted against me the way she used to. She hadn’t pushed me away; she’d wanted me. I kno
w that part of her remembers. Her body responded to me. I had to believe her heart was strong enough to restore her memory. The warmth of her soul’s presence washed over me.

  “She’s back,” I said standing up. She’d entered the building.

  “I’ll see what I can find out. But behave yourself in the corner,” Gee replied, waving me away. I wasn’t visible to humans in this form. I backed away to stand in the far corner of her room and waited.

  The door swung open and Miranda came in chatting happily. I couldn’t understand what she was saying because all I could focus on was the high heeled boots and short skirt Pagan was wearing. HELL. I was burning those as soon as she got them off her body. She could cause wars, the way she was dressed. I was going to hunt him down and kill him if he touched her. I’d take his sorry soul whether it was time or not.

  Gee cleared her throat and I tore my gaze off Pagan’s deliciously-dressed body to glare at Gee. She must have read the intent on my face; she gave me a warning look. Those boots were going missing. The skirt was too.

  “That wasn’t so bad now was it?” Miranda asked smiling over at Pagan.

  Pagan rolled her eyes and unzipped her boots. Maybe I wouldn’t burn them after all. I’d hide them instead. See if I could get her to take them off for me sometime.

  “You rocked Jay’s world. When did he get so full of himself? Geez. Love the fact that you told him you couldn’t care less that he asked that tramp out. And what was up with that? I mean he was here to pick you up and she was hitting on him. Desperate much?”

  Pagan pulled the boot off slowly and if I could drool I was pretty sure I was. Damn that was hot. She reached for the other boot to do the same thing.

  “I don’t care. She can have him. Why did I date the guy for three years? I don’t see the appeal.”

  Her words broke into my lustful imagination and I snapped my head up to look at her face. She didn’t like him? What? But he was her soul mate.

  “He’s different from what I remember. He was boring.”

  Gee smirked in my direction. Pagan reached for the button on her shirt. Oh yeah.

  Then the bathroom door opened and out came a very visible Gee. “So, you bitches have fun?” she asked, interrupting Pagan’s shirt unbuttoning. Dammit, Gee.

  “Miranda had a wonderful time. I suffered through and Miranda owes me big time.”

  She really didn’t enjoy it… and she was unbuttoning her shirt again.

  “Jay wasn’t that bad. He just started the night off asking another girl out while waiting on Pagan to arrive. We walked up on it. Pagan handled it brilliantly and comically but he still looked like an ass.”

  Jay had asked someone else out? Did the guy not see what Pagan was wearing? Damn. I might not have to worry about this at all. He was an idiot. The last button on Pagan’s shirt came undone and she dropped it to the floor. I moved so that I could sink down on the bed and watch.

  “She’s excited about Friday night. She won’t admit it but I can tell,” Miranda said, picking up Pagan’s discarded shirt and throwing it at her.

  “You change your mind about guys in a band?” Gee asked. I wasn’t sure what she meant but I’d ask her as soon as she got out of here.

  Pagan lifted one shoulder and I prayed by all that was holy that she’d take off that pink bra. This may be invading her privacy but I was Death, dammit. I should get some privileges. “I decided to not judge a book by its cover. Can’t hurt to give Dank Walker a chance.”

  “He may want more than a chance,” Gee murmured for my ears only.

  Pagan began to unbutton her skirt. Yes, please.

  “I’m gonna go shower. Y’all feel free to talk about me because I know you will,” Pagan informed them and walked into the bathroom just before her skirt slid down her legs and hit the floor. I was tempted to follow her in there, but that would be wrong. She would be furious if she knew. I glanced over at Gee who looked ready to crack up laughing at me.

  Chapter Eight

  Pagan

  “I stay out of sight and only whisper to you.

  Words I can’t say. Words you don’t need to hear. Words I can’t keep from tangling my way.

  Now, I can’t stand alone. I can’t ignore what I’ve been shown.

  You’ve claimed me and I don’t care who knows. You’ve claimed me and I don’t care if it shows.

  I’m weakened and I’m strengthened in your arms.

  You’ve claimed me and I need to feel you close.

  You stand wanting more than you could ever understand.

  I stand helpless, needing to give in to your every command. Wanting to see you smile has consumed me and tied both my hands.

  Nothing I offer could ever be worthy of your love.

  It’s a miracle that you saw me and never ran.

  I will spend my whole life trying to be the man you think I am.

  Now, I can’t stand-alone. Now, I am under your influence. I can’t ignore what I’ve been shown.

  You’ve claimed me and I don’t care who knows.

  You’ve claimed me and I don’t care if it shows.

  I’m weakened and I’m strengthened in your arms. You’ve claimed me and I need to feel you close.”

  “You hold fire within your gaze.

  It mesmerizes everyone you allow into your maze. I know nothing of your thoughts but I need to bask within the warmth of your rays. Nothing you do could ever be wrong. You’re forever perfect in every way.

  Now, I can’t stand-alone. Now, I am under your influence.

  You’ve taken over me and now, I can’t ignore what I’ve been shown. You’ve claimed me and I don’t care who knows. You’ve claimed me and I don’t care if it shows. I’m weakened and I’m strengthened in your arms.

  You’ve claimed me and I need to feel you close.”

  The hauntingly sweet music played over and over again in the darkness. I couldn’t open my eyes but I wasn’t scared. I knew I was safe. The words soothed me and eventually I fell back into a deep sleep. Bright blue eyes that glowed against the night were the last things I remembered.

  “GET UP! You are like the sleeping dead. I swear. Get your lazy ass up. We have class in ten minutes,” Miranda was yelling at me while pelting me with her pillow.

  I groaned, rolled over, and blocked the onslaught of her feather pillow. “I’m awake. You can stop now.”

  “It’s about time. I tried everything else. I’ve been awake for over an hour. Your stupid alarm clock made sure I woke up. How you slept through that annoying beeping is beyond me.”

  “I slept through the alarm clock?” I asked sitting up and squinting my eyes from the sun’s rays. It was after eight o’clock. I wasn’t going to make it to my Literature class on time. Crap. Great first impression.

  “Yeah, you did. That’s like happened, never. What did you do, take a sleeping pill?”

  I stood up and stretched. “No I just slept really good,” I paused and thought about the strange darkness and the music. The voice and the song… “There was this song,” I said then stopped. Miranda would think I’d lost my mind.

  “No time to talk about songs right now. Here, throw this on and go brush your stinky teeth. We gotta go. Good thing you look hot without makeup.”

  Miranda shoved a pair of shorts and a shirt into my arms and pushed me into the bathroom. I guess I wouldn’t tell her about my song. Although, I wanted to tell someone.

  Dank wasn’t in literature class. I was disappointed he hadn’t shown up and carried my books, but relieved because I could focus on my work. Being able to listen and focus would insure I passed this course. Day one and we already had an assignment. We also had to work in groups. Not my thing. Three girls and three guys per group. We had to read three different works of literature about self-destructive men. Then we had to write a female point-of-view paper and a male point-of-view paper on exactly how the males in the assigned stories were self-destructive. We also had to identify who we could relate them to today and describe how this s
elf-destruction affected politics.

  I shoved my books into my bag and headed to the board to read the group assignments. Each person in our group had an email address beside their name so that we could contact each other once we’d read the first book, Ethan Frome. I was a step ahead. I’d already read it. The line was dwindling because several people left without looking. I walked up and scanned the list for my name.

  Keith Fromer

  Pagan Moore

  Jessi Gilheart

  Jackson Driver

  Maddy McGowin

  Dank Walker

  I stopped reading the names and glanced behind me. How was Dank’s name on here? He wasn’t in this class. Was he? The girl behind me cleared her throat in an irritated manner. I took a quick picture of the people in my group and their email addresses with my iPhone and moved out of the way.

  Had Dank skipped class?

  Dank

  By the time I was finished with souls, I was too late to go to literature class with Pagan. I hated I’d missed an opportunity to sit by her but I’d stayed late last night to sing her to sleep. That was something I missed. I couldn’t bring myself to leave until I knew she was sleeping peacefully.

  The doors to the English building opened and Pagan came walking out with a frown on her face. I didn’t like for her to be unhappy. I walked out of my hiding spot and into her path.

  “Oh! Dank. You’re here.” She seemed surprised.

  “Yeah. Were you hoping I’d dropped out?” I asked teasingly.

  Her frown faded and she beamed up at me. That was better. “I was curious as to why you missed your first day of literature.”

  She’d seen the list. We’d be spending study time together too. The more time I could get with her the better. Now that I knew she wasn’t really impressed with Jay I could breathe a little easier.

  “I was out late. I’ll catch up.”

  “I’ve got notes. I have some time before I meet Miranda. If you want to go get some coffee or just go over to a picnic table I could give you everything that you missed,” she offered.