The Wallet of Kai Lung

by Ernest Bramah

  CHAPTER V. THE CONFESSION OF KAI LUNG

  Related by himself at Wu-whei when other matter failed him.

  As Kai Lung, the story-teller, unrolled his mat and selected, with gravedeliberation, the spot under the mulberry-tree which would the longestremain sheltered from the sun's rays, his impassive eye wandered roundthe thin circle of listeners who had been drawn together by his upliftedvoice, with a glance which, had it expressed his actual thoughts, wouldhave betrayed a keen desire that the assembly should be composed ofstrangers rather than of his most consistent patrons, to whom his stockof tales was indeed becoming embarrassingly familiar. Nevertheless, whenhe began there was nothing in his voice but a trace of insufficientlyrestrained triumph, such as might be fitly assumed by one who hasdiscovered and makes known for the first time a story by the renownedhistorian Lo Cha.

  "The adventures of the enlightened and nobly-born Yuin-Pel--"

  "Have already thrice been narrated within Wu-whei by the versatile butexceedingly uninventive Kai Lung," remarked Wang Yu placidly. "Indeed,has there not come to be a saying by which an exceptionally frugalhost's rice, having undoubtedly seen the inside of the pot many times,is now known in this town as Kai-Pel?"

  "Alas!" exclaimed Kai Lung, "well was this person warned of Wu-wheiin the previous village, as a place of desolation and excessivelybad taste, whose inhabitants, led by an evil-minded maker of verycommonplace pipes, named Wang Yu, are unable to discriminate in allmatters not connected with the cooking of food and the evasion of justdebts. They at Shan Tzu hung on to my cloak as I strove to leave them,praying that I would again entrance their ears with what they termed themelodious word-music of this person's inimitable version of the inspiredstory of Yuin-Pel."

  "Truly the story of Yuin-Pel is in itself excellent," interposed theconciliatory Hi Seng; "and Kai Lung's accomplishment of having threetimes repeated it here without deviating in the particular of a singleword from the first recital stamps him as a story-teller of no ordinarydegree. Yet the saying 'Although it is desirable to lose persistentlywhen playing at squares and circles with the broad-minded and sagaciousEmperor, it is none the less a fact that the observance of thisetiquette deprives the intellectual diversion of much of its interestfor both players,' is no less true today than when the all knowing H'souuttered it."

  "They well said--they of Shan Tzu--that the people of Wu-whei wereintolerably ignorant and of low descent," continued Kai Lung, withoutheeding the interruption; "that although invariably of a timorousnature, even to the extent of retiring to the woods on the approach ofthose who select bowmen for the Imperial army, all they require in astory is that it shall be garnished with deeds of bloodshed and violenceto the exclusion of the higher qualities of well-imagined metaphors andliterary style which alone constitute true excellence."

  "Yet it has been said," suggested Hi Seng, "that the inimitable KaiLung can so mould a narrative in the telling that all the emotionsare conveyed therein without unduly disturbing the intellects of thehearers."

  "O amiable Hi Seng," replied Kai Lung with extreme affability,"doubtless you are the most expert of water-carriers, and on a hotand dusty day, when the insatiable desire of all persons is towards adraught of unusual length without much regard to its composition, thesight of your goat-skins is indeed a welcome omen; yet when in theseason of Cold White Rains you chance to meet the belated chair-carrierwho has been reluctantly persuaded into conveying persons beyond thelimit of the city, the solitary official watchman who knows that hischief is not at hand, or a returning band of those who make a practiseof remaining in the long narrow rooms until they are driven forth at acertain gong-stroke, can you supply them with the smallest portion ofthat invigorating rice spirit for which alone they crave? From thissimple and homely illustration, specially conceived to meet therequirements of your stunted and meagre understanding, learn not toexpect both grace and thorns from the willow-tree. Nevertheless, yourvery immature remarks on the art of story-telling are in no degree morefoolish than those frequently uttered by persons who make a living bysuch a practice; in proof of which this person will relate to the selectand discriminating company now assembled an entirely new and unrecordedstory--that, indeed, of the unworthy, but frequently highly-rewarded KaiLung himself."

  "The story of Kai Lung!" exclaimed Wang Yu. "Why not the story of Ting,the sightless beggar, who has sat all his life outside the Temple ofMiraculous Cures? Who is Kai Lung, that he should have a story? Is henot known to us all here? Is not his speech that of this Province, hisfood mean, his arms and legs unshaven? Does he carry a sword or wearsilk raiment? Frequently have we seen him fatigued with journeying; manytimes has he arrived destitute of money; nor, on those occasions when anewly-appointed and unnecessarily officious Mandarin has commandedhim to betake himself elsewhere and struck him with a rod has Kai Lungcaused the stick to turn into a deadly serpent and destroy its master,as did the just and dignified Lu Fei. How, then, can Kai Lung have astory that is not also the story of Wang Yu and Hi Seng, and all othershere?"

  "Indeed, if the refined and enlightened Wang Yu so decides, it mustassuredly be true," said Kai Lung patiently; "yet (since even triflesserve to dispel the darker thoughts of existence) would not thehistory of so small a matter as an opium pipe chain his intelligentconsideration? such a pipe, for example, as this person beheld onlytoday exposed for sale, the bowl composed of the finest red clay,delicately baked and fashioned, the long bamboo stem smoother than thesacred tooth of the divine Buddha, the spreading support patiently andcunningly carved with scenes representing the Seven Joys, and the TenthHell of unbelievers."

  "Ah!" exclaimed Wang Yu eagerly, "it is indeed as you say, a Mandarinamong masterpieces. That pipe, O most unobserving Kai Lung, is the workof this retiring and superficial person who is now addressing you, and,though the fact evidently escaped your all-seeing glance, the placewhere it is exposed is none other than his shop of 'The Fountain ofBeauty,' which you have on many occasions endowed with your honourablepresence."

  "Doubtless the carving is the work of the accomplished Wang Yu, and thefitting together," replied Kai Lung; "but the materials for so refinedand ornamental a production must of necessity have been brought manythousand li; the clay perhaps from the renowned beds of Honan, the woodfrom Peking, and the bamboo from one of the great forests of the North."

  "For what reason?" said Wang Yu proudly. "At this person's very dooris a pit of red clay, purer and infinitely more regular than any tobe found at Honan; the hard wood of Wu-whei is extolled among carversthroughout the Empire, while no bamboo is straighter or more smooth thanthat which grows in the neighbouring woods."

  "O most inconsistent Wang Yu!" cried the story-teller, "assuredly a verycommendable local pride has dimmed your usually penetrating eyesight.Is not the clay pit of which you speak that in which you fashionedexceedingly unsymmetrical imitations of rat-pies in your childhood? How,then, can it be equal to those of Honan, which you have never seen?In the dark glades of these woods have you not chased the gorgeousbutterfly, and, in later years, the no less gaily attired maidens ofWu-whei in the entrancing game of Kiss in the Circle? Have not thebamboo-trees to which you have referred provided you with the idealmaterial wherewith to roof over those cunningly-constructed pits intowhich it has ever been the chief delight of the young and audacious tolure dignified and unnaturally stout Mandarins? All these things youhave seen and used ever since your mother made a successful offering tothe Goddess Kum-Fa. How, then, can they be even equal to the products ofremote Honan and fabulous Peking? Assuredly the generally veracious WangYu speaks this time with closed eyes and will, upon mature reflexion,eat his words."

  The silence was broken by a very aged man who arose from among thebystanders.

  "Behold the length of this person's pigtail," he exclaimed, "thewhiteness of his moustaches and the venerable appearance of his beard!There is no more aged person present--if, indeed, there be such a onein all the Province. It accordingly devolves upon him to speak in thismatter, which
shall be as follows: The noble-minded and proficient KaiLung shall relate the story as he has proposed, and the garrulous WangYu shall twice contribute to Kai Lung's bowl when it is passed round,once for himself and once for this person, in order that he may learneither to be more discreet or more proficient in the art of aptlyreplying."

  "The events which it is this person's presumptuous intention to describeto this large-hearted and providentially indulgent gathering," beganKai Lung, when his audience had become settled, and the wooden bowl hadpassed to and fro among them, "did not occupy many years, although theywere of a nature which made them of far more importance than all theremainder of his existence, thereby supporting the sage discernment ofthe philosopher Wen-weng, who first made the observation that man isgreatly inferior to the meanest fly, inasmuch as that creature, althoughgranted only a day's span of life, contrives during that period tofulfil all the allotted functions of existence.

  "Unutterably to the astonishment and dismay of this person and all thoseconnected with him (for several of the most expensive readers of thefuture to be found in the Empire had declared that his life would bemarked by great events, his career a source of continual wonder, and hisdeath a misfortune to those who had dealings with him) his efforts totake a degree at the public literary competitions were not attended withany adequate success. In view of the plainly expressed advice of hisfather it therefore became desirable that this person should turn hisattention to some other method of regaining the esteem of those uponwhom he was dependent for all the necessaries of existence. Not havingthe means wherewith to engage in any form of commerce, and beingentirely ignorant of all matters save the now useless details ofattempting to pass public examinations, he reluctantly decided that hewas destined to become one of those who imagine and write out storiesand similar devices for printed leaves and books.

  "This determination was favourably received, and upon learning it, thisperson's dignified father took him aside, and with many assurances ofregard presented to him a written sentence, which, he said, would be ofincomparable value to one engaged in a literary career, and shouldin fact, without any particular qualifications, insure an honourablecompetency. He himself, he added, with what at the time appeared tothis one as an unnecessary regard for detail, having taken a veryhigh degree, and being in consequence appointed to a distinguished andremunerative position under the Board of Fines and Tortures, had nevermade any use of it.

  "The written sentence, indeed, was all that it had been pronounced. Ithad been composed by a remote ancestor, who had spent his entire life incrystallizing all his knowledge and experience into a few written lines,which as a result became correspondingly precious. It defined in a veryoriginal and profound manner several undisputable principles, and was soengagingly subtle in its manner of expression that the most superficialperson was irresistibly thrown into a deep inward contemplation uponreading it. When it was complete, the person who had contrived thisingenious masterpiece, discovering by means of omens that he still hadten years to live, devoted each remaining year to the task of reducingthe sentence by one word without in any way altering its meaning. Thisunapproachable example of conciseness found such favour in the eyesof those who issue printed leaves that as fast as this person couldinscribe stories containing it they were eagerly purchased; and had itnot been for a very incapable want of foresight on this narrow-mindedindividual's part, doubtless it would still be affording him anagreeable and permanent means of living.

  "Unquestionably the enlightened Wen-weng was well acquainted with thesubject when he exclaimed, 'Better a frugal dish of olives flavouredwith honey than the most sumptuously devised puppy-pie of which thegreater portion is sent forth in silver-lined boxes and partaken ofby others.' At that time, however, this versatile saying--which sogracefully conveys the truth of the undeniable fact that what a personpossesses is sufficient if he restrain his mind from desiringaught else--would have been lightly treated by this self-conceitedstory-teller even if his immature faculties had enabled him fully tounderstand the import of so profound and well-digested a remark.

  "At that time Tiao Ts'un was undoubtedly the most beautiful maiden inall Peking. So frequently were the verses describing her habits andappearances affixed in the most prominent places of the city, that manypersons obtained an honourable livelihood by frequenting those spotsand disposing of the sacks of written papers which they collected tomerchants who engaged in that commerce. Owing to the fame attained byhis written sentence, this really very much inferior being had manyopportunities of meeting the incomparable maiden Tiao at flower-feasts,melon-seed assemblies, and those gatherings where persons of both sexesexhibit themselves in revolving attitudes, and are permitted to embraceopenly without reproach; whereupon he became so subservient to hercharms and virtues that he lost no opportunity of making himself utterlyunendurable to any who might chance to speak to, or even gaze upon, thisHeaven-sent creature.

  "So successful was this person in his endeavour to meet the sublimeTiao and to gain her conscientious esteem that all emotions of prudenceforsook him, or it would soon have become apparent even to his enfeebledunderstanding that such consistent good fortune could only be the workof unforgiving and malignant spirits whose ill-will he had in some wayearned, and who were luring him on in order that they might accomplishhis destruction. That object was achieved on a certain evening when thisperson stood alone with Tiao upon an eminence overlooking the city andwatched the great sky-lantern rise from behind the hills. Under thesedelicate and ennobling influences he gave speech to many very ornamentaland refined thoughts which arose within his mind concerning the gracefulbrilliance of the light which was cast all around, yet notwithstandingwhich a still more exceptional and brilliant light was shining in hisown internal organs by reason of the nearness of an even purer and moreengaging orb. There was no need, this person felt, to hide even his mostinside thoughts from the dignified and sympathetic being at his side, sowithout hesitation he spoke--in what he believes even now must have beena very decorative manner--of the many thousand persons who were thenwrapped in sleep, of the constantly changing lights which appeared inthe city beneath, and of the vastness which everywhere lay around.

  "'O Kai Lung,' exclaimed the lovely Tiao, when this person had made anend of speaking, 'how expertly and in what a proficient manner do youexpress yourself, uttering even the sentiments which this person hasfelt inwardly, but for which she has no words. Why, indeed, do you notinscribe them in a book?'

  "Under her elevating influence it had already occurred to thisilliterate individual that it would be a more dignified and, perhaps,even a more profitable course for him to write out and dispose of, tothose who print such matters, the versatile and high-minded expressionswhich now continually formed his thoughts, rather than be dependent uponthe concise sentence for which, indeed, he was indebted to the wisdom ofa remote ancestor. Tiao's spoken word fully settled his determination,so that without delay he set himself to the task of composing a storywhich should omit the usual sentence, but should contain instead a largenumber of his most graceful and diamond-like thoughts. So engrossed didthis near-sighted and superficial person become in the task (which dailyseemed to increase rather than lessen as new and still more sublimeimages arose within his mind) that many months passed before thematter was complete. In the end, instead of a story, it had assumed theproportions of an important and many-volumed book; while Tiao had in themeantime accepted the wedding gifts of an objectionable and excessivelyround-bodied individual, who had amassed an inconceivable number oftaels by inducing persons to take part in what at first sight appearedto be an ingenious but very easy competition connected with the order inwhich certain horses should arrive at a given and clearly defined spot.By that time, however, this unduly sanguine story-teller had becomecompletely entranced in his work, and merely regarded Tiao-Ts'un as aHeaven-sent but no longer necessary incentive to his success. Withevery hope, therefore, he went forth to dispose of his written leaves,confident of finding some very wealthy person who
would be in acondition to pay him the correct value of the work.

  "At the end of two years this somewhat disillusionized but stillundaunted person chanced to hear of a benevolent and unassuming body ofmen who made a habit of issuing works in which they discerned merit,but which, nevertheless, others were unanimous in describing as 'of nogood.' Here this person was received with gracious effusion, andbeing in a position to impress those with whom he was dealing with hisundoubted knowledge of the subject, he finally succeeded in making avery advantageous arrangement by which he was to pay one-half of thenumber of taels expended in producing the work, and to receive in returnall the profits which should result from the undertaking. Those whowere concerned in the matter were so engagingly impressed with theincomparable literary merit displayed in the production that theycounselled a great number of copies being made ready in order, as theysaid, that this person should not lose by there being any delaywhen once the accomplishment became the one topic of conversation intea-houses and yamens. From this cause it came about that the matter oftaels to be expended was much greater than had been anticipated at thebeginning, so that when the day arrived on which the volumes were tobe sent forth this person found that almost his last piece of money haddisappeared.

  "Alas! how small a share has a person in the work of controlling his owndestiny. Had only the necessarily penurious and now almost degraded KaiLung been born a brief span before the great writer Lo Kuan Chang, hisname would have been received with every mark of esteem from one end ofthe Empire to the other, while taels and honourable decorations wouldhave been showered upon him. For the truth, which could no longer beconcealed, revealed the fact that this inopportune individual possesseda mind framed in such a manner that his thoughts had already been thethoughts of the inspired Lo Kuan, who, as this person would not be sopresumptuous as to inform this ornamental and well-informed gathering,was the most ingenious and versatile-minded composer of written wordsthat this Empire--and therefore the entire world--has seen, as, indeed,his honourable title of 'The Many-hued Mandarin Duck of the Yang-tse'plainly indicates.

  "Although this self-opinionated person had frequently been greatlysurprised himself during the writing of his long work by the brillianceand manysidedness of the thoughts and metaphors which arose in his mindwithout conscious effort, it was not until the appearance of the printedleaves which make a custom of warning persons against being persuadedinto buying certain books that he definitely understood how all thesethings had been fully expressed many dynasties ago by the all-knowingLo Kuan Chang, and formed, indeed, the great national standard ofunapproachable excellence. Unfortunately, this person had been so deeplyengrossed all his life in literary pursuits that he had never found anopportunity to glance at the works in question, or he would have escapedthe embarrassing position in which he now found himself.

  "It was with a hopeless sense of illness of ease that this unhappy onereached the day on which the printed leaves already alluded to wouldmake known their deliberate opinion of his writing, the extremity of hishope being that some would at least credit him with honourable motives,and perhaps a knowledge that if the inspired Lo Kuan Chan had neverbeen born the entire matter might have been brought to a very differentconclusion. Alas! only one among the many printed leaves whichmade reference to the venture contained any words of friendship orencouragement. This benevolent exception was sent forth from a cityin the extreme Northern Province of the Empire, and contained manyinspiring though delicately guarded messages of hope for the one to whomthey gracefully alluded as 'this undoubtedly youthful, but nevertheless,distinctly promising writer of books.' While admitting that altogetherthey found the production undeniably tedious, they claimed to havediscovered indications of an obvious talent, and therefore theyunhesitatingly counselled the person in question to take courage at theprospect of a moderate competency which was certainly within his graspif he restrained his somewhat over-ambitious impulses and closelyobserved the simple subjects and manner of expression of their own ChangChow, whose 'Lines to a Wayside Chrysanthemum,' 'Mongolians who Have,'and several other composed pieces, they then set forth. Although itbecame plain that the writer of this amiably devised notice was, likethis incapable person, entirely unacquainted with the masterpieces ofLo Kuan Chang, yet the indisputable fact remained that, entirely onits merit, the work had been greeted with undoubted enthusiasm, so thatafter purchasing many examples of the refined printed leaf containingit, this person sat far into the night continually reading over the oneunprejudiced and discriminating expression.

  "All the other printed leaves displayed a complete absence of goodtaste in dealing with the matter. One boldly asserted that the entirecircumstance was the outcome of a foolish jest or wager on the part ofa person who possessed a million taels; another predicted that it was acunning and elaborately thought-out method of obtaining the attention ofthe people on the part of certain persons who claimed to vend a reliableand fragrantly-scented cleansing substance. The _Valley of Hoang RoseLeaves and Sweetness_ hoped, in a spirit of no sincerity, that theingenious Kai Lung would not rest on his tea-leaves, but would soonsend forth an equally entertaining amended example of the _Sayings ofConfucious_ and other sacred works, while the _Pure Essence of the SevenDays' Happenings_ merely printed side by side portions from the twobooks under the large inscription, 'IS THERE REALLY ANY NEED FOR US TOEXPRESS OURSELVES MORE CLEARLY?'

  "The disappointment both as regards public esteem and taels--for, afterthe manner in which the work had been received by those who adviseon such productions, not a single example was purchased--threw thisill-destined individual into a condition of most unendurable depression,from which he was only aroused by a remarkable example of the unfailingwisdom of the proverb which says 'Before hastening to secure a possiblereward of five taels by dragging an unobservant person away from afalling building, examine well his features lest you find, when toolate, that it is one to whom you are indebted for double that amount.'Disappointed in the hope of securing large gains from the sale of hisgreat work, this person now turned his attention again to his formermeans of living, only to find, however, that the discredit in which hehad become involved even attached itself to his concise sentence; for inplace of the remunerative and honourable manner in which it was formerlyreceived, it was now regarded on all hands with open suspicion. Insteadof meekly kow-towing to an evidently pre-arranged doom, the lastmisfortune aroused this usually resigned story-teller to an ungovernablefrenzy. Regarding the accomplished but at the same time exceedinglyover-productive Lo Kuan Chang as the beginning of all his evils, he tooka solemn oath as a mark of disapproval that he had not been content toinscribe on paper only half of his brilliant thoughts, leaving the otherhalf for the benefit of this hard-striving and equally well-endowedindividual, in which case there would have been a sufficiency of taelsand of fame for both.

  "For a very considerable space of time this person could conceive nomethod by which he might attain his object. At length, however, asa result of very keen and subtle intellectual searching, and manywell-selected sacrifices, it was conveyed by means of a dream thatone very ingenious yet simple way was possible. The renowned anduniversally-admired writings of the distinguished Lo Kuan for the mostpart take their action within a few dynasties of their creator'sown time: all that remained for this inventive person to accomplish,therefore, was to trace out the entire matter, making the words andspeeches to proceed from the mouths of those who existed in stillearlier periods. By this crafty method it would at once appear as thoughthe not-too-original Lo Kuan had been indebted to one who came beforehim for all his most subtle thoughts, and, in consequence, his tombwould become dishonoured and his memory execrated. Without any delaythis person cheerfully set himself to the somewhat laborious taskbefore him. Lo Kuan's well-known exclamation of the Emperor Tsing on thebattlefield of Shih-ho, 'A sedan-chair! a sedan-chair! This person willunhesitatingly exchange his entire and well-regulated Empire for such anarticle,' was attributed to an Emperor who lived several thousand yearsbefo
re the treacherous and unpopular Tsing. The new matter of a no lessfrequently quoted portion ran: 'O nobly intentioned but neverthelessexceedingly morose Tung-shin, the object before you is yourdistinguished and evilly-disposed-of father's honourably-inspireddemon,' the change of a name effecting whatever alteration wasnecessary; while the delicately-imagined speech beginning 'The personwho becomes amused at matters resulting from double-edged knives hasassuredly never felt the effect of a well-directed blow himself' wastaken from the mouth of one person and placed in that of one of hisremote ancestors. In such a manner, without in any great degree alteringthe matter of Lo Kuan's works, all the scenes and persons introducedwere transferred to much earlier dynasties than those affected by theincomparable writer himself, the final effect being to give an air ofextreme unoriginality to his really undoubtedly genuine conceptions.

  "Satisfied with his accomplishment, and followed by a hired personof low class bearing the writings, which, by nature of the researchnecessary in fixing the various dates and places so that even the waryshould be deceived, had occupied the greater part of a year, this nowfully confident story-teller--unmindful of the well-tried excellence ofthe inspired saying, 'Money is hundred-footed; upon perceiving atael lying apparently unobserved upon the floor, do not lose the timenecessary in stooping, but quickly place your foot upon it, for onefails nothing in dignity thereby; but should it be a gold piece,distrust all things, and valuing dignity but as an empty name, cast yourentire body upon it'--went forth to complete his great task of finallyerasing from the mind and records of the Empire the hitherto veneratedname of Lo Kuan Chang. Entering the place of commerce of the one whoseemed the most favourable for the purpose, he placed the facts as theywould in future be represented before him, explained the undoubtedlyremunerative fame that would ensue to all concerned in the enterpriseof sending forth the printed books in their new form, and, opening at aventure the written leaves which he had brought with him, read out thefollowing words as an indication of the similarity of the entire work:

  "'_Whai-Keng_. Friends, Chinamen, labourers who are engaged in agricultural pursuits, entrust to this person your acute and well-educated ears;

  "'He has merely come to assist in depositing the body of Ko'ung in the Family Temple, not for the purpose of making remarks about him of a graceful and highly complimentary nature;

  "'The unremunerative actions of which persons may have been guilty possess an exceedingly undesirable amount of endurance;

  "'The successful and well-considered almost invariably are involved in a directly contrary course;

  "'This person desires nothing more than a like fate to await Ko'ung.'

  "When this one had read so far, he paused in order to give the otheran opportunity of breaking in and offering half his possessions tobe allowed to share in the undertaking. As he remained unaccountablysilent, however, an inelegant pause occurred which this person at lengthbroke by desiring an expressed opinion on the matter.

  "'O exceedingly painstaking, but nevertheless highly inopportune KaiLung,' he replied at length, while in his countenance this personread an expression of no-encouragement towards his venture, 'all yourentrancing efforts do undoubtedly appear to attract the undesirableattention of some spiteful and tyrannical demon. This closely-writtenand elaborately devised work is in reality not worth the labour of asingle stroke, nor is there in all Peking a sender forth of printedleaves who would encourage any project connected with its issue.'

  "'But the importance of such a fact as that which would clearly show thehitherto venerated Lo Kuan Chang to be a person who passed off as hisown the work of an earlier one!' cried this person in despair, wellknowing that the deliberately expressed opinion of the one before himwas a matter that would rule all others. 'Consider the interest of thediscovery.'

  "'The interest would not demand more than a few lines in the ordinaryprinted leaves,' replied the other calmly. 'Indeed, in a manner ofspeaking, it is entirely a detail of no consequence whether or not thesublime Lo Kuan ever existed. In reality his very commonplace name mayhave been simply Lung; his inspired work may have been written a scoreof dynasties before him by some other person, or they may have beencomposed by the enlightened Emperor of the period, who desired toconceal the fact, yet these matters would not for a moment engage theinterest of any ordinary passer-by. Lo Kuan Chang is not a person in theordinary expression; he is an embodiment of a distinguished and utterlyunassailable national institution. The Heaven-sent works with whichhe is, by general consent, connected form the necessary unchangeablestandard of literary excellence, and remain for ever above rivalry andabove mistrust. For this reason the matter is plainly one which does notinterest this person.'

  "In the course of a not uneventful existence this self-deprecatoryperson has suffered many reverses and disappointments. During his youththe high-minded Empress on one occasion stopped and openly complimentedhim on the dignified outline presented by his body in profile, and whenhe was relying upon this incident to secure him a very remunerativepublic office, a jealous and powerful Mandarin substituted a somewhatsimilar, though really very much inferior, person for him at theinterview which the Empress had commanded. Frequently in matters ofcommerce which have appeared to promise very satisfactorily at thebeginning this person has been induced to entrust sums of money toothers, when he had hoped from the indications and the manner ofspeaking that the exact contrary would be the case; and in oneinstance he was released at a vast price from the torture dungeon inCanton--where he had been thrown by the subtle and unconscientiousplots of one who could not relate stories in so accurate and unvaryinga manner as himself--on the day before that on which all persons werefreely set at liberty on account of exceptional public rejoicing. Yet inspite of these and many other very unendurable incidents, this impetuousand ill-starred being never felt so great a desire to retire to asolitary place and there disfigure himself permanently as a mark ofhis unfeigned internal displeasure, as on the occasion when he enduredextreme poverty and great personal inconvenience for an entire year inorder that he might take away face from the memory of a person who wasso placed that no one expressed any interest in the matter.

  "Since then this very ill-clad and really necessitous person hasdevoted himself to the honourable but exceedingly arduous and in generalunremunerative occupation of story-telling. To this he would add nothingsave that not infrequently a nobly-born and highly-cultured audienceis so entranced with his commonplace efforts to hold the attention,especially when a story not hitherto known has been related, that inorder to afford it an opportunity of expressing its gratification, hehas been requested to allow another offering to be made by all personspresent at the conclusion of the entertainment."