A Fine and Private Place

by Ellery Queen

  “A great many things, Mr. Importuna, but I have the feeling I’d be wasting your time and mine.”

  The squat man shrugged. “You, Inspector Queen?”

  “No, sir.”

  But Importuna persisted in a brittle, courteous way. “Perhaps you have a few questions for my wife, Inspector, now that she’s here.”

  “No,” the old man said. “No more questions tonight.”

  “Benone! Allora rivederla.” He clucked at his wife and Ennis as if they were small children. “Andiamo, andiamo! We still have work tonight, Peter, on that Midwest dairy combine. And I can’t keep Mr. E waiting upstairs forever.”

  The Queens stood silently by as the Importunas swept archward followed at some distance with lowered eyes by Peter Ennis. The survivor of the brothers halted so unexpectedly that his wife passed entirely under the arch and out of their view, and Ennis almost ran him down.

  “Oh, Mr. Queen, it occurs to me… “

  “Yes?” Ellery said.

  “By the way, may I call you by your Christian name?”

  Ellery smiled. “You mean like, say, Peter?” He saw the neckline under Ennis’s dark blond hair redden, and he said, “No offense, Mr. Ennis. I was merely exemplifying a relationship.”

  “Touche, Mr. Queen.” Importuna smiled back; his teeth were very large and disconcerting. “Are you available for profitable employment? As an executive, of course. In a confidential capacity. I can use a man of your talents and temperament.”

  “Thanks for the compliment, Mr. Importuna, but no, thanks. I’m the self-employed type.”

  “Ah. Well. Too bad. If you should ever change your mind, Mr. Queen, you know where I am.”

  “I wonder,” Ellery said on the way home in the squad car.

  “Wha’?” Inspector Queen was nodding.

  “Importuna’s parting shot. About knowing where he is. I wonder if anyone, including his wife, knows where Nino Importuna is. Where he is or what he is. A tough man. Dangerous man! Talking about his wife, dad, did you notice something remarkable about Peter Ennis?”

  “You hop around like hot fat,” the Inspector complained. “If we’re talking about Mrs. Importuna-quite a knockout, by the way-why should I notice anything about Ennis? He hardly glanced at her all the time she was there.”

  “To borrow from the old master, that’s what’s remarkable, dad. I suppose Ennis could be gay, although I don’t think so, but if he’s a red-blooded man how could he be in the same room with that ravishing female and not keep looking at her, reacting to her in some way?”

  “You figure it out,” the old man mumbled. “Far as I’m concerned the murder of Julio Importunato was solved when his brother Marco hanged himself. And, son.”

  “Yes, dad?”

  “Don’t tangle with Importuna. Take my advice, you’ll o* 1 come to grief. He carries too much clout for you… what? What did you say?”

  “Mr. E,” Ellery muttered.

  “Who?”

  “Mr. E. Didn’t you hear Importuna? He mustn’t keep Mr. E waiting. I wonder who the devil Mr. E is… Dad?”

  But the Inspector was asleep.

  Sixth Month JUNE, 1967

  The fetus takes on a leaner appearance. Eyelashes and eyebrows appear. The body grows rapidly.

  They were in his den. Ennis, his long torso hunched over his notebook and the pile of papers and cables, sat at the foot of the Florentine table. To his annoyance (a chronic one) he had had to drag a chair over and make room for himself. Although Ennis had his own workroom in the apartment, Importuna had never thought to make permanent provision for him in the den during these work sessions, which had taken place regularly for years. I’m a very modest confidential secretary, Ennis thought, except for my secret life with the boss’s wife; a small desk for my personal use in his sanctum isn’t too much to ask of one of America’s richest men. It would hardly encroach on the privacy or prerogatives of His Majesty, since I’m never within these sacred walls except on his orders and sufferance. And why the hell doesn’t he have that outside wall knocked out and a picture window put in so that the den gets some decent light? As well as having a new air conditioner installed; this one literally stinks, it does such a bad job on his eternal stogy smoke.

  None of this showed on Ennis’s face. He waited, a paragon among puppets.

  Importuna was pacing. There was a frown on his massive face that interested Ennis. It was not the familiar frown of the padrone, before which presidents of companies and chairmen of boards quailed. This frown was directed toward something within himself.

  Suddenly Ennis thought, Can it be fear?

  The great Importuna afraid of something?

  He was roused by Importuna’s grating voice. “What was that last, Peter?”

  “A memorandum to the sales forces of the E.I.S. offices in Zurich. Noting that the rate of redemptions over sales in the mutual funds has been running around $2-million a day. This trend must be reversed at once. Quote we must avoid at all costs a loss of confidence in the funds. All personnel are to redouble their efforts to restore a positive level of sales over redemptions as quickly as possible unquote.”

  “Yes,” Importuna said. “A note to Mrs. Importuna: ‘My dear, Instruct Mrs. Longwell to have the Kashan rug in my den taken up for the summer and sent to Bazhabaty-an’s for cleaning and storage. I made this request two days ago and it has not yet been done.’ Signed as usual.”

  “With great love,” Ennis murmured, writing, “Nino.” When he looked up from the notebook he asked, “Is something wrong, Mr. Importuna?”

  “What do you mean?”

  It was fascinating to watch Importuna pace. He took 9 steps in one direction, 9 steps back. Never more, or less, than 9 in these pacing episodes.

  Did he consciously count them, or had his obsession with his lucky number become part of his autonomic nervous system?

  “Nothing, really. It’s just that I thought you seem disturbed this morning.”

  “I am! I had a transatlantic call from Von Slonem before you got here. The Ploesti deal has fallen through.”

  “But I thought that was firm. Locked up.”

  “It was! I don’t know how it could have happened. Without warning-ffft! Up in the air. And comes down in pieces. Von Slonem was almost incoherent. Something went terribly wrong at the last moment. I wonder if my luck… Do you realize on which day?”

  “Today is Friday.”

  “Today is the 9th!”

  “Oh,” Peter Ennis said. “Yes. Well, maybe it’s good luck in disguise, Mr. Importuna. Remember what your brother Julio used to say? The sweetest-tasting deals are the ones that turn sour first. Maybe the fact that the Ploesti deal fell through on the 9th is a sign that you shouldn’t have gone into it in the first place.”

  Importuna’s frown lightened. It was incredible. A man of his acumen. “You think so, Peter?”

  “Who knows, Mr. Importuna? If you have faith in any system of belief… “

  How long, 0 Lord?

  They resumed working.

  Importuna’s 9th step away from Ennis took him to the floor-to-ceiling bookshelves on the other side of the room. Ordinarily when he reached the shelves he would turn on his heel and take the 9-step journey back. But sometimes as he dictated to Ennis he would pause to lean against a shelf in pursuit of a thought, his right hand with its four fingers raised to one of the higher shelves, his gaze directed to the Kashan rug. During one of these reflective pauses Importuna chanced to look up and about. His glance fixed on the row of books at his eye level and all thoughtfulness fled his face. It was supplanted by something very like panic.

  “Peter!” he cried in a rage.

  Ennis, startled, looked around. “Yes, sir?”

  “Come here!”

  Ennis jumped up. “What’s the matter?”

  “I said come here!”

  “What’s wrong, Mr. Importuna?”

  “This shelf-these books here-” He was almost unable to articulate.

&nb
sp; “Books? What about them? They look perfectly all right to me.”

  “They are not perfectly all right! These three-this-this-this!-they were standing on the shelf upside down. Weren’t they? Well, weren’t they!”

  Ennis stammered, “If you say so, Mr. Importuna-”

  “You know they were!” the tycoon thundered. “Why didn’t you let them alone? You were the one who turned them right side up again, weren’t you, Peter? Weren’t you?”

  “If those were the ones, Mr. Importuna. Wait, I remember now. I really didn’t stop to identify the titles. I saw some books standing on the shelf upside down and I naturally righted them.”

  “What do you mean ‘naturally’? There’s nothing natural about it! Why did you do it?”

  “Well, because-”

  “Don’t you remember my specifically ordering you not to lay a finger on any of the books on this particular shelf?”

  Ennis was extremely pale. “I’m sorry, Mr. Importuna, I forgot. Or mistook the shelf. Anyway, all I did was-”

  “All you did,” stormed Nino Importuna, snatching the three books from the shelf and slamming them back into place upside down, “was something you don’t begin to understand! No wonder the Ploesti deal blew up. From now on, Peter, when I say don’t touch something, don’t touch it. Do you understand? Hand me the direct line to the office.”

  Ennis ran to the table, ignored the telephone console, snatched up the red phone, and ran back with it to Importuna.

  “Get me Crabshawe… John! Importuna. Call a meeting of the staff. Immediately. And arrange for a transocean conference call among ourselves, Bucharest, and Von Slonem… I know the Ploesti deal fell through, John! But now I also know why, and I think it can be saved. I’m going to make them a new offer I guarantee they won’t turn down… Yes. I’ll be with you in exactly”-he glanced at his watch, and he actually smiled-”exactly 9 minutes.” He hung up and Ennis took the instrument from him. “The car, Peter.”

  “I’ve already alerted McCoombes. He’ll have the car out front by the time you get downstairs, Mr. Importuna. Is there anything you want me to do meanwhile?”

  “No, we’ll finish up here tomorrow morning. Just take care of the matters I’ve already noted. And tell Mrs. Importuna I’ll let her know later today about this evening. I don’t know how long those Rumanians will tie me up.” Importuna showed his great teeth again and tapped Ennis affectionately on the chest. “I’m sorry I shouted at you, Peter. But you got me very upset.”

  He seemed in high humor as he strode out.

  Ennis sank into Importuna’s chair. His hands were shaking, and he grasped the arms of the chair to steady them. His chest itched where Importuna’s double finger had tapped it.

  Two cool, soft hands slipped over his eyes from behind.

  Ennis’s hands flew up to hers, trying to detach them. “Virginia. I didn’t hear a sound. He may still be here-”

  “He’s left, darling,” Mrs. Importuna said. “It’s all right. I made very sure.”

  She came round and sat down on his lap, twining her bare arms about his neck.

  “Honey. If Editta, or Crump-”

  “I sent Editta out on an errand. She’ll be gone for an hour. And Crump’s in the pantry with Mrs. Longwell, polishing the silver for our dinner party tonight.”

  “You may not have any dinner party tonight. He told me to tell you he’d let you know later today. He may be tied up buying half of Rumania. Are you sure-?”

  “Don’t be so jittery,” she said, breathing into his ear. “Nobody’s going to catch us doing anything naughty. Or are they?”

  They embraced with familiar passion in her husband’s chair.

  “You know something, Peter?” Virginia murmured after a while.

  “What, Virgin?”

  “I’d like us to make love right here.”

  “Here! Where?”

  “On Nino’s table. He’s so stupid about it. Just because it belonged to a Medici. I’ll bet it’s seen a lot worse.” She laughed and deliberately nipped his ear. “What do you say?”

  “Sounds groovy. But give me a rain check, baby. I’m still a little shook up.”

  “Oh?” She sat up and regarded him at arm’s length. “Something happened?”

  “Before he left he almost bit my head off. And you’d never guess what about.”

  “You didn’t kiss his ring.”

  “This isn’t funny! A long time ago, he’d told me never to touch any of the books on some shelf or other back there. Hell, I’d forgotten all about it, it seemed so childish. All the damn shelf held were ordinary books. Yesterday I had to come in here for something-Nino wasn’t here-and I noticed some books on one of the shelves put in the wrong way. You know, upside down. Well, you know how compulsively neat I am. I turned them right side up without giving it another thought. Practically a reflex. And that was that-I thought. I didn’t even recall that that was the taboo shelf.”

  “And he noticed?”

  “Noticed! He went up through the ceiling. You’d think I’d committed a major crime. He turned them back upside down and practically threatened to skin me alive if I ever disobeyed an order of his again. I had all I could do to keep from laying one on that eagle beak of his, Virgin. It’s getting tougher for me by the day. I don’t know how much longer I can take this-sucking up to my lord and master so I can catch a glimpse or two of you once in a while!”

  “My poor baby… “

  “If it didn’t mean not seeing you every day, I’d have let him have it long ago and walked out.”’

  “Darling… “

  “Do you suppose he’s slipping his cable? Keeping books on a shelf upside down on purpose! I swear, Virgin, since Marco knocked Julio off and hanged himself, Nino’s been sliding downhill fast.”

  “This book thing,” Virginia said thoughtfully. She jumped off Ennis’s lap and went over to the bookshelves, and he followed her. “It must have something to do with those crazy 9s of his, Peter.”

  “How could it have?”

  “I don’t know. But whenever he acts irrational it’s somehow involved with his 9s. Are these the ones?”

  “That’s right.”

  She tilted her head, reading the titles upside down. “The Founding of Byzantium. Author somebody named Mac-Lister. There’s suspense reading for you… The Defeat of Pompey, A. Santini. A real thriller… And the third one is The Original KKK, by a J. J. Beauregard. Yippee.”

  “Wild.”

  “I must be wrong, Peter. These can’t have anything to do with his 9s. Do you suppose there’s a clue in some of these other books on the shelf? Even though they’re right side up like a good book should?”

  “You mean like The Landing of the Pilgrims, honey-bunch? Or-now here’s a candidate for the bestseller list if ever I saw one: Magna Carta at Runnymede. A real smasheroo. And-hold your breath, baby, this one is a significant lesson for our times-The Establishment of the Roman Empire.’’’’

  Peter Ennis laughed. He looked around. Then he picked up Virginia Whyte Importuna and carried her over to the Medici desk.

  Seventh and Eighth Months

  JULY AND AUGUST, 1967

  Maturation proceeds. A layer of fatty matter is deposited under the skin whose function is to nourish and protect the fetus during the early part of its coming emergence into the world.

  Ninth Month LABOR

  The redness fades from the skin. Fingernails and toenails are defined. Glandular secretions and excretions prepare the fetus for the changes soon to come.

  The first rhythmic contractions signal the onset of the mother’s labor.

  The baby is about to be born.

  Nino was charming, almost delightful, that day. In fact, Virginia had to try a little not to like him. She did not find the exertion excessive; still, there it was.

  It was the 9th of September, a day to commemorate, but not only or even principally because it was Nino’s 68th birthday. The greater happiness of the day lay in the fact that it was
also their fifth wedding anniversary. And their fifth wedding anniversary had a very special significance for Virginia Whyte Importuna (and, by secret extension, Peter Ennis). For it demarcated the time zone specified in their prenuptial agreement, the date before which Virginia Whyte had waived all property and dower rights when she should become Nino Importuna’s wife, and after which-if still living with him as his wife-she became his sole heir.

  The penthouse had never experienced such traffic. People dropped in throughout the day with gifts and flowers-Virginia’s father; executives of Importuna Industries’ component corporations based in New York; friends from the jet set; ambassadors and other dignitaries of foreign delegations to the United Nations who found it tactically expedient to remain in Nino Importuna’s good graces, especially those representing countries in which Importuna money was invested; colleagues in the fraternity of finance; the never-absent politicos; even the clergy. Messengers deposited overflowing cartons of congratulatory telegrams and cables from Importuna’s 10,001 industrial connections at home and overseas.

  Virginia was warily impressed, especially since for the first time in their marriage Nino devoted himself wholly to her that day. Several times Peter Ennis reported to him that Mr. E was on the telephone pleading urgency and requesting leave to come to the penthouse, only to be told with a tooth-filled smile that all business “must wait until tomorrow. Lavoro sempre, ma non oggi. Today belongs to my wife.” Since Mr. E to her certain knowledge had open sesame to the penthouse day and night, Virginia could scarcely believe her ears.

  The callers straggled off toward the end of the afternoon and, as the dinner hour approached, the Importunas were finally alone. This was the moment Virginia had dreaded all day, in spite of the day’s aura of felicity. The five-year history of their unattended husband-and-wife encounters had still not inured her to the prospect.

  To her surprise he said, “You know, my dear, Peter is still at his desk-much as I’d like to have given him the day off, there were some matters that had to be taken care of. I feel a bit guilty about it, considering the occasion. Would you mind very much if I asked him to join us for dinner?”