Nova (The Renegades #2)

by Rebecca Yarros

  “And now?”

  “Now that’s up to you two.”

  I sighed. “Let’s just get him through Nepal alive, shall we?”

  “You’re here. I’m the least worried I’ve ever been about him. Well, not for his safety, since I’m pretty sure he should hide sharp objects around you, but he’s more himself. Plus, I haven’t seen any girls—”

  “You’re blushing,” I said, laughing. There was something about a six-foot-five, three-hundred-pound guy turning red like a schoolgirl that had me in stitches.

  “Yeah, yeah. Shut up.”

  Landon turned as I approached, a soft smile playing across his face. “Good morning. Did you get enough to eat?”

  “I’m good, thank you for asking.”

  His eyes narrowed slightly. “Feeling okay?”

  I almost laughed again at his skepticism. Maybe burying the anger hatchet would be more fun than I initially thought. “Just peachy. We ready for a little hike?”

  He nodded slowly. “Do you have everything you need? This is the last place to pick anything up.”

  I tugged on the straps of my framed pack, thankful Mom had suggested I take it, and the sturdy hiking boots, and my thick Patagonia cold gear. Okay, I was just grateful my mother was a ten on the worrywart scale.

  Damn, I was going to have to admit that to her at some point.

  I’d purchased the rest of my gear in Kathmandu.

  “I’m good to go. It’s a six-hour hike today, right?”

  “Yes, miss,” one of the Sherpas answered. “We will take you to Namche Bazaar.”

  “Rachel, this is Tashi, one of our guides,” Landon introduced us, stepping closer to my side.

  I met the others in turn, instantly enchanted by their easy smiles. We said our good-byes to Penna, Little John, and Bobby, who took a helicopter to our next destination. Wilder asked Leah if she wanted to go with them, but she insisted she could make the hike.

  What a hike it was—six miles of some of the most gorgeous scenery I’d ever been privileged to capture. My camera clicked so often that I high-fived myself for remembering two extra batteries and data cards. I knew we were doing it for the exercise and acclimation to altitude, but I loved it all the same.

  We passed through valleys where we crossed flag-adorned rope bridges over rushing rivers, the blue of the water standing out like a beacon through the greenery.

  “Want to wiggle?” Landon asked, moving his eyebrows as both his hands closed around the ropes.

  “Don’t even think about it,” I told him sternly but couldn’t hide my smile.

  He laughed, threatening to rock the bridge as I walked toward him. For every step I took, he backed up one.

  “Seriously? You know I can take you, right?” I asked.

  “I can handle a little thing like you,” he countered.

  “Knock your shit off. If anything happens to Leah on this thing because you’re goofing off, I’ll destroy you,” Wilder threatened from behind me.

  “Joy killer!” Landon called back. One more grin and he turned around to follow our guides, leaving me laughing and staring at his incredible ass. What was it about those cargo pants that showcased him perfectly?

  Look all you want now—soon he’ll be covered up in snow gear.

  The trail was worn but still rugged, and when I struggled over a boulder, my lack of height getting in the way, Landon lifted me, his touch lingering for the smallest second after. Some areas were like hiking through any other forest, but the higher we climbed, the more the vegetation spread out and the landscape was revealed. The trail switched back half a dozen times, and when we crossed the highest bridge, it was empowering to look down a thousand feet at the one we’d crossed this morning.

  As we stopped for lunch, Landon made sure we were under shade to get me out of the sun. I shared one of my very rationed strawberry Pop-Tarts with him.

  “Really?” he asked, taking the overpreserved pastry from my hand. “You love these things.”

  “Yeah, I do,” I answered with a smile.

  “In that case…” He leaned over me, reaching for the other Pop-Tart, and knocked me backward onto the leaf-covered ground.

  “Hell no!” I said, laughing as I rolled away.

  He sat up and took a bite of the Pop-Tart as I brushed the dirt off my shirt. “See if I share with you again.”

  “I just wanted to make sure you were still Rachel and hadn’t been taken by body snatchers.”

  Then he winked.

  No, no, no… That sweetness that had invaded my chest all day slipped farther down, igniting an ache that I knew only Landon could fully sate. Trying to shake it off, I half smiled and then devoured my Pop-Tart.

  The problem with burying the anger hatchet with Landon was it only left the insane attraction I had toward him. There was a reason we’d always collided, a force that had drawn us together stronger than sex or love…it was something intangible that I could never describe—or find in another person.

  Only Landon.

  Anger was safe. It kept me protected. Dropping that weapon from my arsenal left me vulnerable, and I knew that warmth rushing through me wasn’t from the sun shining overhead.

  We made it to Namche Bazaar in time for dinner. The small village was high in the mountains but beneath the tree line and populated enough to have several lodges along the wide, winding dirt streets. The buildings were all stone, most of the color supplied by the flags that draped across streets and the tourists there to stock up before pushing the rest of the way to Everest. The air had turned sharp; I’d have to get my winter gear out tonight for the trip tomorrow.

  “We have to leave first thing in the morning if you want to see the Everest base camp,” Landon said after dinner, walking me along the outside of the inn to the room I shared with Penna.

  “Sounds good,” I responded as we approached my door. My hand lingered on the rustic handle, and for the first time since I’d found out he was on board, I wasn’t using every possible excuse to get away from him—because I didn’t want to.

  “Rachel…” he said softly, putting his hand just above mine.

  I turned my head but didn’t speak, afraid of what I would say. Afraid that I would tell him how hurt I still was over what he’d done, but terrified I’d tell him that I wanted him anyway.

  Stupid girl.

  “I’m really glad you came. I never dreamed I’d get the chance to have you here for this, but now that you are, I can’t imagine doing this without you.”

  I did what I did best when it came to Landon—forced a smile, tucked, and ran.

  …

  Using Everest base camp as our launching point, we took helicopters the rest of the way up to advanced camp the next day. I wished we’d had the extra day to acclimatize and hike the rest of the way, but it just wasn’t in the schedule. Landon was shoving a monthlong trip into just shy of ten days.

  This place had been called the throne room of the gods, and now, being here, I understood it perfectly. No mortal was meant to survive here for long. Jagged peaks rose above us, Everest being the most daunting of all.

  There was a thin layer of snow on the ground here, the harbinger of an approaching winter, but I knew it would only be deeper farther up the ridge.

  I hid out while the Sherpas showed Landon the camp. Watched from a distance as he explored the base of the snowy ridgeline.

  I sighed with relief when the tents were set up and I could duck beneath the cool exterior of my bright orange North Face shield.

  “You’re hiding,” Leah accused as she came in next to me, arranging her sleeping bag in what we’d dubbed the girls’ tent.

  “Am not,” I objected. “I’m acclimatizing in private.”

  “You’re hiding,” she said again.

  “How’s it going out there?” I asked, playing with the zipper on my parka. The temp was a balmy twenty-two, but I knew it would dip once the sun set.

  “Weather’s moving in. They say it’s supposed to be a qui
ck storm, though.”

  If there was one thing that didn’t give me warm fuzzies, it was hearing the term “storm” sitting at eighteen thousand feet in the Himalayas.

  As if he needed to confirm my worst fear, Wilder invaded our tent. When he didn’t bother making goo-goo eyes at Leah, I knew something was wrong.

  “What is it?” she asked.

  “It’s going to be bad,” he said, his face hardening. “I need to send the chopper back down. It can’t take this beating, and I want you on it.”

  “No,” she answered. “Penna needs to go. Her leg will swell at this altitude. Get her down.”

  His jaw flexed. “Fine, but you go with.”

  “No,” she said again, surprising me with the force behind her voice. “Penna will need help. You have to send Little John.”

  “I…” He shook his head. “With the weight limit on the bird, he’s two people.”

  “Okay, then you send Penna, Little John, and Little John,” she answered.

  Wilder swung his gaze at me with a plea in his eyes.

  “Don’t look at me. You’re the one who made her all mouthy. She was docile as a lamb when I sent her to you.”

  He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Fine. But you’re bunking with me.”

  “But Rachel will be all alone!” Leah protested.

  “Trust me, I’m happily alone. Very alone. Solo. Single. Glad to have some me time,” I responded.

  Leah pouted and swore but finally agreed.

  I didn’t know how badly I would regret that decision until the snow started to fall and the temperature dropped.

  Then I was really alone.

  Really solo. Single.

  And super fucking cold.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Rachel

  Advanced Camp, Nepal

  Cold like I’d never known invaded every cell of my body until I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been warm.

  The storm had raged for hours, and though I no longer heard the crackling of snow hitting the tent, the roar of the wind was impossible to ignore. I slid deeper into my sleeping bag, covering my nose with the nylon fabric and using my breath for warmth.

  The tent rustled, and I sat up, staring at the door as it unzipped, snow falling into the tent as a huge figure tumbled in. The flash of fear I felt died in the second it took me to recognize Landon’s jacket as he closed the tent.

  “Sorry,” he muttered after he ripped the gaiter down that covered his nose and mouth. “Why didn’t you tell me you were alone in here? I had to hear it from Pax when he came to our tent for extra supplies.” He took off his hat and gaiter, tossing them on the floor where Leah’s bag had been.

  “It d-d-d-didn’t matter,” I stuttered through the shivers.

  “It sure as hell does,” he barked, stripping off his coat. “You’re shaking like a leaf and probably freezing. How the hell would anyone know?”

  “I’m f-f-f-fi-fine,” I managed.

  “Yeah, seems like it.” A moment later his snow pants joined the jacket on the floor, leaving him in the breathable light track pants he wore underneath and a long-sleeved henley. “Move,” he ordered as he knelt next to my bag.

  I was too cold to argue.

  He unzipped my bag, and I gasped as the colder air hit me. But then he slid in with me and zipped the bag behind him.

  Warmth—sweet, wonderful warmth—hit my face first as he wrapped his arms around me, holding me against his chest. My cheek rested along his neck, and I breathed in his cedar scent. He maneuvered one of his legs over mine until I was completely surrounded by him.

  “Fuck, Rachel. You’re a block of ice.”

  “It’s cold up here.” My stammering stopped.

  “I noticed while I was digging through the snow to get to you.” His arms tightened, and it felt so damn good to be held by him.

  “You shouldn’t be here,” I said, voicing the last defense of my brain while my heart told it to shut up. Every nerve ending agreed, savoring his warmth.

  “Well, Gabe and Alex both volunteered,” he admitted.

  I tensed. “But you risked the storm and fell on the knife, eh?”

  His chin rubbed against the top of my head. “I wanted to be the bigger man and give you some space, but the idea of one of them holding you…” He swallowed. “I just couldn’t do it. I’m sorry, I know this isn’t really what you want.”

  I relaxed completely, my muscles abandoning the war they’d never wanted to wage. He was wrong—so very wrong. There was no one in the world I’d rather have holding me than Landon.

  But that wasn’t something I was capable of admitting, not when it was the equivalent of letting down the drawbridge for him to walk straight into my heart and trample around.

  He stretched the bag so he could look into my eyes. “What are you thinking?”

  “Nothing I can say,” I whispered.

  His hand came up, stroking my hair back from my face, his thumb caressing my cheek. “Okay. Then let’s just get you warm. Tomorrow we can go back to whatever stalemate we seem to be at.”

  “Deal,” I agreed. “Besides, you have bigger things to worry about.”

  “Not sure I’d agree with you,” he said, tucking me under his chin again to give me as much skin-to-skin contact as we could get without removing clothes.

  Remove the clothes! All the clothes! my sex-starved inner demon demanded.

  I told her to keep her horny pants on and settle for this, which was better—and more dangerous—than anything I thought I’d ever have again. Landon was breathtaking to look at, but being held in his arms was a whole new torture. He was intoxicating, and if I didn’t keep a tight rein on my self-control, reckless, wonderful, regrettable things would happen.

  “There’s a twenty-one-thousand-foot-high ridgeline behind me just waiting for your board. I consider that bigger.”

  His hand tunneled through my hair, holding me to him. “I don’t. Damn, I’d almost forgotten how perfectly you fit against me. Shit. Distract me. Talk about anything.”

  “Like the giant snowstorm going on out there?” I teased, careful not to move against him.

  “It’s a rather small one, I promise. The last guys who did this had a ten-day one to compete with. I think we can handle an overnight.”

  “Speak for yourself.”

  “Tell me about your paper. Are you really looking for your orphanage? Or is it more than that?”

  I rubbed my nose along his throat, unable to help myself. “I’m not sure? I want to see it, to know where I came from. I’m not on some delusional quest for my birth parents, I promise.”

  “I never thought that.”

  “I just want to understand the need…what makes those mothers give their babies up. Hopelessness? Poverty? Culture? A hope for a better life?”

  “Yes to all?” Landon suggested, his voice deep and comforting on a level that soothed the cracks in my soul. “And what happens if you don’t find an answer that satisfies you? If you don’t like what you find? Have you left room for those possibilities, too?”

  I nodded. “I think so. I don’t have any expectations other than to see it, to feel connected somehow. There’s always been this part of me that’s felt untethered, and maybe I’m hoping finding it will ground me in a way.”

  We were silent for a moment, the only sound the gusts of wind or static tapping of snow hitting our tent.

  “Okay. I’ll take you.”

  “What?” I asked, pulling back again. “You don’t have to do that.”

  A half smile lifted his beautiful lips. “If you’ll let me, I’d like to be there for you. I kind of fucked that up a long time ago.”

  He did. I knew it, and so did he. But wrapped in his arms like I was something precious, it suddenly seemed like a lifetime ago…and yet like we’d never been apart.

  Everything was familiar and yet new. His scent was the same, the undertones of his skin unchanged by whatever cologne still managed to cling to his clothing. H
is voice still slid over my nerves like silk, his eyes the same ever-changing hazel that held me captive. His hands cupped my face with the same tenderness while the strength in his arms had only grown.

  He was my Landon underneath all that Nova, only ten times more…everything.

  “Rachel,” he whispered. “Don’t look at me like that.”

  “Like what?” I asked, knowing damn well what he meant.

  “Like you used to.”

  Like there weren’t two years of betrayal, heartache, and struggle between us.

  I couldn’t make my voice work, couldn’t find words to express the jumble of emotions crashing through me. Our eyes met, unspoken emotions sailing between us.

  In that moment, I knew that it didn’t matter who had wronged whom. Who had walked out, or who had paid the price. It didn’t matter how many years had passed or how many would pass. This intense connection that strung us together would always be there. Buried, burned, or frayed, but never destroyed.

  Landon was always going to call to me.

  His gaze dropped to my lips. “Tell me no,” he said.

  “Landon,” I said softly, my hands coming between us to push against his chest.

  “Tell. Me. No.”

  My mouth opened, but nothing came out, and even though I’d commanded my hands to push him away, they were gently stroking the lines of his chest.

  “Rachel,” he begged, but I wouldn’t answer him because I couldn’t.

  His thumbs stroked my cheeks, and I saw the moment his eyes changed from conflicted to determined.

  His mouth found mine, and I was home.

  His kiss was soft, and he groaned as he shifted, sinking his hands into my hair as his lips caressed mine. Slow, sipping kisses assaulted my senses, made me forget where we were…or what year it was.

  His tongue flirted with the lower line of my mouth, and I opened for him. He slipped inside like he’d never left, his taste and touch overwhelming as he filled the cracks in my soul he’d put there in the first place. He made me feel whole for the first time in more than two years.

  “Rachel.” He sighed, saying my name again before tilting my head so I could take him deeper. Our tongues slid and rubbed, and everything that had been forgotten came back with startling clarity.