Chez Stinky

by Susan C. Daffron

  By the time she got back upstairs, Joel was fast asleep with his head in his arms, his cheek resting on the table. She tapped him on the shoulder. “Do you want to stay here?”

  He raised his head, blinked, and looked around. “That’s embarrassing. I don’t generally fall asleep like that.”

  Kat rolled her eyes. “Yeah sure, that’s what guys always say.”

  “I guess I’m tired.”

  “I mean it. You can stay here if you want. I don’t know what’s going on with Allison or how you feel about that. You can stay in one of the bedrooms downstairs; they are mostly clean now, thanks to many hours of effort on my part. We can talk about…stuff…in the morning. I still want to know what you think about fixing this place. Except there’s a problem with that, too.”

  Joel looked unreasonably distressed at the idea of yet another problem and Kat quickly volunteered, “Don’t worry. I’ll figure something out. In the meantime, I’ll go get some sheets.”

  Kat went to the linen closet in the bathroom, grabbed some sheets, and handed them to him. “Sweet dreams.”

  Joel looked at Kat for a moment, then put the sheets on the table and took her into his arms. He gave her one last bone-melting kiss, grinned, and said, “Same to you.” Kat slowly sank into a chair and watched silently as he picked up the sheets from the table and went down the stairs. Her sexy firefighter dreams were nothing compared to the real thing.

  The next morning, Kat got up and fed the dogs and cats. She was getting ready to go back upstairs to take a shower when Joel emerged from the bedroom looking tousled and bleary-eyed. He also wasn’t wearing a shirt. As he stretched, Kat let out a tiny gasp. His shoulders were mighty fine buried under layers of flannel, but it didn’t compare to seeing them au naturale. She tried to remain casual, as if she had shirtless men wandering around her house all the time. “So did you sleep well?”

  Joel stretched out his arms toward Kat and grabbed her in big bear hug. “I feel so much better! It’s the best night’s sleep I’ve had in ages.”

  Kat pressed her ear against his bare chest, listening to the beating of his heart and enjoying the sensation of being in his arms again. “That’s good” she mumbled, getting increasingly distracted by the feel of his skin on her cheek. She closed her eyes and stroked his back, which was warm, smooth, and incredibly inviting.

  He released her and looked down into her eyes. “I’m hungry.”

  “You missed out on dinner last night. How do you feel about breakfast?”

  “Food would be good, too.”

  Kat raised her eyebrows. “Yes. Food. I’m going to go take a shower. Feel free to forage in the meantime. There are still a lot of Twinkies.”

  “I’ll see if I can do better than that.”

  Kat went upstairs and turned on the shower. She adjusted the temperature somewhat colder than usual and leaped in, emitting a small shriek as the chilly water hit her flushed skin. Having a half-naked man in the house was problematic. The feel of his skin was intoxicating. She wasn’t sure she could make it through the whole day without jumping him.

  After her shower, Kat’s sanity had been restored to some degree. She still needed to talk to Joel about the state of the house, and it would be better if her brain had checked back into the station for that conversation.

  Kat walked into the kitchen and found him fully dressed again (thank goodness) and standing in front of the stove. She peered around his body into the pan of scrambled eggs. “Do you cook?”

  “It beats starving.”

  “I can’t argue with that. It smells great.”

  Joel looked down at her. “So do you. Nice shampoo.”

  Kat shook her wet hair at him. “I’m clean! Usually when you see me, I’m sweaty and covered with dust or cobwebs. And let’s not even talk about spiders.”

  “When I fixed your shower, you smelled a little like dog barf.”

  Kat laughed. “Oh yes. Eau d’dog puke. Now that’s sexy.”

  While stirring the eggs, Joel reached over with his other arm and caught her around the waist, pulling her toward him. He murmured quietly into her ear, “If I thought you were sexy then, imagine how I feel now.”

  Kat’s heart melted a teeny bit, but she tried to retain composure. “After the fire at your place, you might want to concentrate on the food.”

  “Good point. The eggs are done, anyway. Sit down and I’ll grab the toast and bring it over.”

  Kat settled into her chair and tried to focus on food. It turned out to be good. A man who was willing to cook. Did it get any better than that?

  After gobbling down her food, Kat sat in companionable silence and watched Joel finish his eggs. The phone rang, disturbing her from her quiet contemplation, and she jumped up to answer it.

  “Kat, this is Cindy. I don’t suppose Joel is there, is he? I’ve been trying to reach him since last night. There’s no answer at his place. I’ve been calling everyone. He put a tarp on your roof, right? Did he check on it or something? I can’t think of anyone else to call. Or where he might be. I’m losing it here. There’s a rumor the fire department got called out to his shack. I’m scared something really bad happened and he’s dead or in little pieces on the highway.”

  “No. I’m sure he’s not dead. He’s here. Do you want to talk to him?”

  Cindy exhaled loudly. “Oh my God, that’s a relief. I’m glad he’s not dead, because I need to kill him. Yes, let me talk to him. Now.”

  Kat raised her eyebrows as she handed the receiver to Joel. “It’s your sister.”

  With a resigned expression on his face, he took the phone. “Hi, Cindy. No. I’m quite alive. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you last night. No, my place didn’t burn down. It’s still there, but it smells like smoke.” He looked up at Kat and shrugged his shoulders. “Uh-huh. Yes. Uh-huh. I don’t think so. Okay. Goodbye.”

  Joel leaned back in his chair, looked up at the ceiling, and sighed. “I have to go now. Cindy’s car is dead again.”

  “Well, at least you got a good night’s sleep and some food before she found you.”

  He smiled. “Yes, that will help me deal with the interrogation I’m going to get.”

  Kat sat back down at the table and folded her hands in her lap to keep from fidgeting. She looked down at her fingers. “Will you come back later? I can keep Lady here if you want.” She looked up into his eyes, trying to gauge his response.

  Joel met her gaze. “If you want me to. I’m sure my house still smells like smoke, so I’m not eager to go back there. I need to take out all the furniture and get it cleaned or something. I’m not sure what to do about that.” He moved to get up.

  Kat reached her hand across the table. “Wait. Before you go, I wanted to talk to you about working on the house here. You said you were going to think about it.”

  Joel pulled his chair back in and rested his elbows on the table. “I have no computer at the moment, so I can’t do any consulting work. I need to do a little research and get a new one. But in the meantime, I should be able to work on your roof.”

  Kat sighed and leaned forward in the chair, putting both of her arms on the table. “There’s another problem you need to know about before you say yes. I don’t really have much money. I talked to Larry last night. Abigail’s inheritance is tied up until I can prove to Louise that I’m a responsible dog-and-cat caretaker and deserve the money. So I can’t pay you now. I can pay for materials with my credit card, but I can’t pay you for your time. That means you’d have to trust me. Or I guess trust that I can meet the stipulations of the will, so I can give you money later when I’m an heiress.”

  Joel moved his shoulders in a noncommittal shrug. “Why wouldn’t you meet the stipulations? The dogs and cats seem happy to me.”

  “I think it is better now. But Louise seems to hate me. It didn’t help when Linus and Tessa almost clotheslined her. They didn’t make a good impression. Larry says she also has issues with my family. I don’t know what that’s about. B
ut she definitely doesn’t seem to like me much. I need to talk to her and find out what she’s thinking.”

  “That sounds like a good idea. Thanks for explaining things to me. I’ll come back for Lady after I see what’s up with Cindy.”

  Kat looked up. “Since you’re going to be working here, you can stay here too, if you want.”

  Joel raised his eyebrows, giving her a quizzical look.

  “Well, unless you don’t want to, of course. You said you slept well. And it doesn’t smell like smoke. Or even a dead varmint.”

  Joel smiled, “Okay. I’ll stop by my house and pick up some stuff. Tell Lady to behave herself.”

  “I’m sure she will. As long as she doesn’t find any cats.”

  Kat walked with Joel to the door. “Cindy is going to ask you a lot of questions about what you were doing here and what’s going on. The other day, I told her nothing was going on between us, but I don’t think she believed me.”

  Joel grinned and dipped his head down to kiss her quickly. “I don’t believe you, either.”

  Kat wrapped her arms around his waist and splayed her fingers across his back, remembering how good his bare skin had felt earlier. She looked up at him. “People are going to talk if you stay here.”

  “It’s a small town. That’s what they do.”

  Kat smiled and stood on her tiptoes so she could press her lips to his one last time. “Maybe you should sleep upstairs with me tonight so they really have something to talk about.”

  Kat walked the dogs and resumed the endless cleaning of the downstairs bedrooms and closets. Although most of the boxes were out of the rooms, there was still a lot of stuff to sort through and clean. She picked up a dusty photo of a lake scene that was sitting on the dresser, turning it around in her hands absently. It wasn’t every day she invited a guy to jump into her bed. As her mother would say, she just wasn’t that kind of girl. Dusting off the frame with a damp rag, she smiled as she envisioned the evening’s potential recreational activities.

  Yes, she’d had boyfriends and a number of somewhat disastrous relationships over the years, but she’d never felt the level of attraction she felt for Joel. This was new. And scary. All the feelings she had swirling inside her whenever she was near him were bewildering. And who knows what he actually thought about her. He wasn’t exactly forthcoming. Hopefully, he didn’t think she was a slut by inviting him to stay. Or that sex was how she planned to pay him for fixing the roof. Kat frowned at that idea. She really wasn’t that kind of girl.

  Linus barked and ran outside, disturbing Kat from her myriad tangle of thoughts. It seemed soon for Joel to be returning.

  She went out the back door and walked around the house. Louise’s car was parked in the driveway and Louise was standing and petting Linus with one hand and holding a handkerchief to her nose with the other.

  “Hi, Louise. How are you?”

  “I’ve been better. I talked to Mr. Lowell this morning and he told me that you are trying to extract Abigail’s money.”

  “Extract? Not exactly. I met him last night because I wanted to get a copy of the will, so I could see what the requirements are to inherit the house and the money. I want to stay here.”

  “You do? I thought you wanted to work at your job in the city and find homes for the dogs and cats. I told a friend of mine about Linus. She wants a big watch dog.”

  “I spent more time here and changed my mind. And I’m sorry, but your friend can’t have Linus. I plan to stay here and take care of the animals like Abigail wanted.”

  Louise sniffed twice and then sneezed mightily into her handkerchief. “Well, I heard that you have a man living here. And that his last girlfriend just burned down his house. What sort of people are you associating with? Are they drug addicts? I don’t want you to be risking Abigail’s lovely home by inviting in riff-raff.”

  “I don’t think anyone would consider Joel Ross riff-raff. He’s Cindy’s brother. You met him that day he was helping her with car trouble. He helped me with the roof. He’s an engineer, not a drug addict.” Kat pointed up at the house. “He even helped put up that tarp to keep out the rain.”

  Louise shook her blue curls. “Oh, that fellow? As I recall, he looked rather unwashed. He does shower, doesn’t he?”

  “As far as I know.”

  “I don’t think he should be here. What if he’s an animal killer? Or a child molester? Or an abuser. What do you know about this man?”

  Kat shrugged. “Well, I’ve only known him a few weeks, so not much, I guess. But he’s been very nice to me. Even when he didn’t have to be.”

  Louise pursed her lips. “Oh, you’ll just end up like Abigail. Or Kelly. Single with no one to take care of you and a child to support. I don’t like seeing this type of promiscuity.”

  Kat started to get annoyed. Who was this woman to dictate her sex life? Particularly when nothing had happened. Yet. “I don’t think that’s any of your business.” Kat raised her eyebrows as something dawned on her. “Wait a minute. Abigail didn’t have children.”

  Louise looked momentarily startled. “No. No, that’s not what I meant! Don’t be impertinent, young lady. You’re just like your mother. Always trying to tell people what to do.”

  “I’m not trying to tell anyone anything. I’d like to understand what I need to do to meet the requirements, so you will sign off on the inheritance. As I pointed out, the roof leaks and I can’t afford to repair it. Plus, I have a few ideas for some other improvements I’d like to have done, so I can stay here and earn a living.”

  “Why you’re just a little gold-digger aren’t you? Just thinking about the money so you can shack up with that man and live in sin. You little harlot!”

  Kat narrowed her eyes. She might be a lot of things, but she definitely wasn’t a harlot. “I don’t think that’s fair, considering you hardly know me. I think it might be a good idea if you left now. I’ll communicate with you through Mr. Lowell’s office.”

  Louise made a harrumph noise, waved her handkerchief in front of her face, and then wiped a tear from her eye. “You haven’t heard the last of this young lady! Abigail, rest her soul, was my best friend. And I will not have you dishonoring her memory or risking her property or her animals!”

  Kat sat on the bottom step next to Linus and watched as the yellow Buick thumped its way out of the driveway. She stroked his head slowly. “That didn’t go well. What are we going to do, Big Guy?”

  Linus looked up at her and wagged his tail in sympathy. Then he perked up his ears and ran out toward the driveway, woofing as Joel’s truck slowly pulled in. Perhaps Louise had rammed her car into his truck out of spite. But if she had, the old green machine looked unscathed.

  Joel got out, saw the expression on Kat’s face, and said, “What’s wrong? You look like you just lost your best friend.”

  Kat smiled faintly. “Maria is fine as far as I know. But Louise hates me even more than I thought. She called me a harlot. And said I’m dishonoring my aunt’s memory.”

  “Wow.”

  “You weren’t immune from her wrath either. She thinks you might be a child molester. Or a drug addict. And you don’t shower.”

  Joel grinned. “I do too.” He shook his head. “Look! Wet hair. When I stopped by my place to get stuff, I took a shower.” He stopped and bent down to look at her face again more closely. “Wait, you’re really serious, aren’t you?”

  “Yes. It was awful. She even wanted to take Linus. I finally told her to just get out.”

  Joel sat down on the stair next to her and gathered her in his arms. “I’m sorry. Let’s go inside. We can talk about it if you want.”

  Kat looked over at him. “Not really.”

  “What do you want to do?”

  “I think you know.”

  They stared at each other for a long moment. Joel grinned, grabbed her hand and dragged her up the stairs into the house, and slammed the door behind them. By the time they got to the bedroom, they were breathless. Joel f
lopped down on the bed and pulled Kat on top of him. Murphee, who had been sleeping on the bed, launched out the door.

  Letting Murphee out was probably a bad idea. But that glimmer of rationality passed as Joel’s hands touched her skin. She laughed and started clutching and yanking on Joel’s shirt. There was way too much clothing in the way.

  She worked at unbuttoning his flannel shirt, kissing his chest as she moved downward. Joel groaned, but wasn’t exactly idle himself. He ran his large hands along either side of Kat’s body and pushed her shirt up over her head.

  He threw her shirt off the bed and paused for a moment, gazing at her appraisingly. “I thought so.”

  “Hey, I was just sitting around cleaning the bedroom. I didn’t think Louise would show up. Maybe she thinks I’m a harlot because of my lack of proper undergarments.”

  Joel pulled her back down to him and started nuzzling her neck. He pulled his head away to look at her and raised one eyebrow. “You don’t see me complaining.”

  Kat laughed. “You can do Spock eyebrow! Maria would swoon.”

  “I’m not thinking about her right now. I’m thinking that the image I had in my mind of what you might look like naked doesn’t even come close to reality. And I have a pretty good imagination.”

  “Yes, I’ve noticed you’re very creative.”

  Kat’s body was on fire, and it was obvious where this was going. Her one remaining brain cell fired and she stopped, pushing Joel away. “Uh, this is awkward, but do you have…something?” She rolled over and rummaged around in the nightstand beside the bed. “Hmm. I’m not sure about this. It looks like Abigail had more fun than I thought. That’s a big box. But I’m not sure how old these are. Is there an expiration date? Do they still work?”

  Joel looked confused for a second, then seeing the box in the nightstand, clued into what Kat was talking about. He rolled onto his side, resting his head on his hand and looked into her eyes. “I stopped by the drugstore on the way over here. You implied I might be sleeping upstairs.”

  Kat giggled. “Yes, I did. I think my harlot status is confirmed now. Way to plan ahead.”