Unplanned

by Sarah Biglow

  The doctor cleared his throat and said, “There can be other complications. Often women with multiples need to go on bed rest sometime in the second trimester. Depending on whether the twins are identical or fraternal, there may be some added concerns about their development.”

  “But if we come in for our regular checkups and follow all of your instructions, we should be fine, right?” Lisbeth prompted.

  “In theory, yes. But given your history, I’d be a little concerned that you would deliver early. We want to do everything we can to get you to your due date.”

  Lisbeth forced a smile. “Thanks.”

  “You can go ahead and get dressed. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to call.”

  “Thank you.”

  “The nurse will be back with your pictures.”

  Lisbeth nodded and waited for the doctor to leave. She pulled on her underwear and pants and untied the string around the gown. She let it fall around her ankles and slipped her shirt over her head.

  “Are you all right, sweetie?” Candace asked.

  “Yeah. Fine. It’s just a little…overwhelming. We’re having twins. And this morning, I was worried we wouldn’t be having any.”

  “He said it’s not unexpected. And they said it might happen when we first started the process.”

  “I know. It’s just taking a little time to wrap my head around it. I guess it’s a good thing we didn’t buy any baby furniture yet. We’re going to need two of everything.”

  “Not everything. Come on. I’ll buy you a big bowl of ice cream. It will make you feel better.”

  The nurse walked back in and handed them the pictures with the labels baby A and baby B tagged at the top.

  “Thanks so much,” Candace said and linked arms with Lisbeth.

  They walked down the hall to the reception desk.

  “Hi, we need to make another appointment for the middle of October,” Lisbeth said.

  The receptionist tapped away at her keyboard. “We’ve got an appointment for ten fifteen on October thirteenth.”

  “Do you have anything after one thirty that day?”

  “No, I’m sorry. We have one on the fourteenth at two forty-five.”

  “I’m sure they’ll understand if you miss a day,” Candace said.

  “I don’t want to take time off early on if I don’t have to. The fourteenth is fine.”

  The receptionist wrote down Lisbeth’s name and appointment date and time on a card and handed it over. Lisbeth slipped it in her purse and pulled out her wallet. She paid for the visit, and they picked up their coats in the waiting room. Lisbeth stared at the ultrasounds and smiled. It was more than she’d been expecting by far.

  “They look the same,” she said.

  “They are the same. At least right now.”

  “Well, we could get two girls. Or two boys.”

  “Or one of each,” Candace said.

  “I think it would be nice to have one of each.”

  “I think it’s out of our hands.”

  “I know. How are you handling all of this?” Lisbeth asked.

  “I’m still wrapping my head around it, too. I mean…we were going to be good with one baby, but two? That’s a lot more responsibility.”

  “I know. I don’t know what to think yet, either,” Lisbeth agreed.

  Candace slowed at a stop light, and Lisbeth looked out the passenger window. They weren’t too far from the yoga studio.

  “Hon, can we make a quick stop? I want to pay for a few more classes.”

  “Sure. Just tell me where to go.”

  “Take the next right, and it should be about a block up.”

  Lisbeth tapped the ultrasound picture against her lap as Candace pulled up in front of the studio. She stayed still for a bit longer before unbuckling her seatbelt and climbing out.

  “I’ll only be a minute,” she said and pulled open the front door.

  A blast of cool air smacked her in the face when she stepped up to the front desk. The receptionist bent over her keyboard, while another woman stood with a clipboard in hand. Lisbeth stood behind the other woman and waited.

  “Here you go,” the woman said and handed over the clipboard.

  Lisbeth glimpsed the name Renee printed at the top.

  “Let me just get your information into the computer. Now, you want to attend our Wednesday classes?”

  “Yeah. Do I have to pay now?”

  “We can take a check for the first two weeks of classes now, and then you can pay by class if you’d like. Or we can do monthly.”

  “How much is it for the whole month?”

  The receptionist hit a few keys on her calculator and said, “Eighty a month. But you can pay weekly if you want.”

  “I’ll pay the first two weeks now, I guess. Can I decide how I want to pay the rest later?”

  “Sure.”

  Lisbeth watched while Renee fished two twenties out of her purse and handed them over. The receptionist gave her a smile and put the money in a drawer before writing out a receipt.

  “You’re all set. We’ll see you soon.”

  “Thanks.”

  Renee took a step back, collided with Lisbeth, and knocked her purse to the floor.

  “Sorry,” Lisbeth said.

  “No, it’s my fault,” Renee said and bent to pick up Lisbeth’s purse.

  “I’m Lisbeth.”

  “Renee.”

  “You’re going to the Wednesday afternoon classes?” Lisbeth asked.

  “Yeah. Looks like it. You?”

  “I’ll see you there, then.”

  “Cool.” Renee handed over the purse. “Bye.”

  “Bye.”

  Lisbeth turned her attention to the receptionist, pulled out her checkbook, and made out a check for eighty dollars to cover the next month.

  11

  September 16th

  Renee slumped against the sink and swallowed slowly before flushing the toilet and standing up. She turned the water on and let it get cold before splashing it on her face and neck. She hated morning sickness. After all, she couldn’t exactly give tours while running to the bathroom every half hour to puke her guts out. And her mom said it went away after the first trimester.

  “Renee? You still in there?” Bryce called from outside.

  “Yeah. I’ll be out in a minute.”

  “Hurry up.”

  “Just hold on.”

  Renee swished some mouthwash around and spat it out. The gritty feeling still clung to her tongue and teeth, but she could hear Bryce pacing. She was surprised he was up this early. She checked herself in the mirror once more and then opened the door. Bryce darted in, and she heard the toilet seat go up. She shook her head and headed back to the bedroom to get dressed for work. Just as she finished her makeup, Bryce walked back in.

  “You’re not sick, are you? Because I can’t get sick,” he said.

  She stared at him. “No.”

  “I heard you throwing up.”

  “It’s morning sickness, Bryce. It’s normal. Disgusting, but normal.”

  He pulled on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt and said, “Oh. You wouldn’t have that if you’d—”

  “Don’t you dare,” she said.

  He flinched but didn’t finish his sentence. She surveyed his clothing.

  “Going somewhere?” she asked.

  “Yeah. Meeting some of the guys for a day out.”

  “Oh. Are you going to be home by dinner?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Well, call if you’re not, okay?”

  “Sure.”

  Bryce left, and Renee finished getting ready, tossing some anti-nausea meds in her pocket before heading to the kitchen. She poured a glass of milk and took her prenatal vitamins and her calcium pill. The front door slammed shut, and she could hear the elevator whir to life down the hallway.

  Renee eyed the clock and jumped. So much for making breakfast. Without the car, she’d have to take the T in, and it w
as going to be mobbed. Fumbling with her T pass at the station, she had to fight through the crowd and nearly missed the train. Renee gulped down air to keep from being sick as the train trundled along the track to Government Center. Her heart pounded when she reached the platform. A train pulled out of the station as she stopped moving. Can today get any worse? Renee could feel tears of frustration trickle down her cheeks. Leaning against a support beam, she brushed the tears away in an effort to keep it together.

  “Are you okay?” a man beside her asked.

  “Yeah. Just running late this morning. One of those days, you know?”

  “Yeah.” He reached into his pocket pulled out some tissues. “Here.”

  She blushed. “Thanks.”

  Renee ran the back of her hand over her cheeks and blew her nose. Another train came screeching to a halt. She gave the man a smile and stepped onto the train. He waved at her through the window as the doors closed and the train left the station. She clutched the tissues all the way to the Aquarium stop.

  “You’re late,” her boss said as she walked into the locker room.

  “Sorry.”

  “It’s been happening more often, Renee. Is something going on that I need to know about?”

  Renee swallowed. “Yes. I should have mentioned it sooner, but it was all kind of unexpected. I’m pregnant.”

  “You are?”

  “Yeah. About twelve weeks.”

  Her boss led her to a seat. Renee sat and waited for her boss to speak. She tried to fight the uneasy feeling in her stomach, unsure if it was nerves or more morning sickness.

  “How’ve you been handling the morning sickness?” her boss asked.

  “Um…okay, I guess. It’s not pleasant. I don’t think my boyfriend gets that it’s part of pregnancy. He asked me this morning if I was getting sick. And he’s kind of been a jerk about the whole thing.”

  “If you need to take shorter shifts, just let me know. We’ll work around it as best we can.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Just make me one promise.”

  “Sure.”

  “You don’t stay on maternity leave too long. We need you here.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Renee said with a smile.

  “We don’t have any groups scheduled for this morning. So you can take it easy.”

  “Thanks.”

  Renee spent the morning wandering the grounds. She stopped by the penguin tank, admiring the birds as they slid in and out of the water with grace and ease. It was beautiful. She got nods and waves from the trainers as they dove into the water to feed the penguins. She made the rounds to the larger outdoor animals, stopping at the sea lions for a while shortly before noon. One of the massive animals rolled onto its side and waggled its flipper at her. She couldn’t help but laugh.

  “It’s waving at you,” a little boy said.

  “Yes, it is. Should we wave back?”

  “Yes.”

  So they both waved back to the sea lion. It dove into the water in response. The boy laughed and took off running. Renee went the opposite direction down to the break room and opened her locker to get money from her purse. The ultrasound picture came into view. She ran her fingers over the tiny blob and smiled. The next day was her twelve-week checkup, which meant a new picture.

  “Nee, we’re heading over to grab some pizza. Want to come?” Carl said from the other side of the room.

  “Sure. Let me just grab my purse.”

  She shut her locker and put on her jacket. The small group of five headed out of the aquarium and down the street to Pizza Palace. Renee picked at her slice of cheese pizza, wishing her stomach wouldn’t protest so much about pepperoni or sausage. She missed eating meat.

  “You in there?” Carl said.

  “Huh?” Renee replied.

  “You were zoning out.”

  “Sorry. I didn’t sleep well last night.”

  Renee forced herself to eat the pizza instead of pick at it. Her stomach wasn’t happy on the walk back, and she quickly left the group to head for the bathroom. She walked out and nearly collided with a woman pushing a stroller.

  “I’m so sorry,” Renee apologized.

  “That’s all right.”

  Renee held the door open for the woman so she could get through and then took off at a jog to meet her afternoon tour group. Thankfully, it was small, and they were young. They’d lose interest quickly, and Renee would get out of a long tour. Exhaustion consumed every inch of her body by the end of her shift. She almost missed her transfer at Government Center, her head was so in the clouds. Fifteen minutes later, she walked out of the T stop and checked her phone. No calls from Bryce. She collapsed on the couch as soon as she was in the apartment and barely had enough energy to pull a blanket over her shoulder before dozing off. When she woke, the sky was completely dark and the apartment was quiet. She sat up, and immediately her stomach rumbled. Groaning, she climbed off the couch, made some soup, and sat down at the kitchen table. There were no new messages on her phone, and Bryce was likely at work by now. I’ll see him in the morning before the doctor.

  When Renee woke up the next morning, Bryce’s side of the bed was empty. She moved through the apartment, listening closely, but Bryce wasn’t there. No messages on her phone. She hastily dialed his number and waited for it to ring. Five, six, seven times, and then to voicemail. After the beep, she said, “Bryce, it’s me. Where the hell are you? I’m going to my appointment in an hour. Call me back.”

  She hung up and buttered some toast before heading out. By the time she got to the doctor’s office, she was running late. She hated running late.

  “Hi,” Renee said and caught her breath. “Renee Blackwell.”

  “Have a seat.”

  Renee lounged in the waiting area for ten minutes before a nurse led her back to an exam room.

  “Just put on the gown, and the doctor will be in to see you in a few minutes.”

  Renee stripped to her underwear and wrapped the paper gown around her body. It was flimsy and provided no warmth. So she sat and shivered on the exam table until the doctor came in.

  “How are you doing, Renee?”

  “Good. Thanks.”

  “Having any problems?”

  “Not that I know of. I really wish the morning sickness would stop.”

  “How often do you find yourself getting ill?”

  “A few times a day. Usually if I eat something too fast. It’s usually really bad in the morning.”

  “That’s normal. It should start to let up around the start of the second trimester.”

  “I can’t wait.”

  “I’m going to have you lie back for me, and we’ll take a peek at your baby.”

  Renee gasped when he applied the gel to her bare belly. He spread it around with the monitor and pointed to the screen beside her.

  “There’s your baby.”

  “It’s bigger than the last time I was in.”

  “That’s what we like to see. When you come back for your next checkup, we should start to see limbs forming. But that pulsing right there in the middle is the baby’s heartbeat.”

  Renee gazed at the tiny flicker on the screen. It was strong and constant and perfect. The doctor wiped the gel from her stomach and put the scanner down.

  “We’ll have a picture printed up if you’d like.”

  “Please.”

  “You can get dressed now.”

  Renee waited until the doctor left to pull her pants and shirt back on. She sat in the calm of the room for a few minutes before going out to pay. Taking the card for her next appointment, she thanked the receptionist. The nurse walked by and handed Renee the new ultrasound picture. Renee touched the bigger gray blob in the middle with care as she left the office and hopped back on the T. At work, she walked into the locker room with a huge smile. Her boss, Pam, spotted her and jogged over.

  “You look happy.”

  Renee brandished the picture.

  “I just had a doctor’s
appointment.”

  Pam took the picture and examined it. “Can’t really tell what it is.”

  “It’s that in the middle. See how they outlined it?”

  “Oh, there it is.”

  “They said at the next checkup, it should have arms and legs.”

  “I’m glad you’re happy, Renee. You’ve been pretty glum the last few weeks.”

  Renee hung her head as she took the picture back. “I know. It’s just been kind of a roller coaster, cheesy as that sounds.”

  “Well, keep up the cheerful spirit, because we’ve got a lot of tours today.”

  Renee nodded and set her purse and the picture in her locker before heading out to meet the first group of the day. Rambunctious second graders, half of which didn’t seem at all interested in the marine life around them. She’d change that. By the time the tour ended, all of the kids were chattering excitedly about what they wanted to buy from the gift shop.

  By the end of the day, however, Renee was ready to go home. She took the steps at the T two at a time and managed to hop a train just as it left the station. The entire ride home, her mind raced. Seeing the new ultrasound will change his mind about the baby. The picture stayed safely tucked in her purse until she climbed off the train and sprinted the distance from the T to her building. Without even acknowledging the doorman, Renee hit the elevator call button repeatedly.

  “Hitting it won’t make it come faster,” a woman said.

  “I know…I’m just in a hurry.”

  The elevator finally arrived, and Renee stepped on before everyone else had a chance to get off. Ignoring the nasty looks, she waited for the doors to close. She had a very small window of time in which to catch Bryce before he went to work. Renee forced the keys into the lock but found the door already unlocked.

  “Bryce, I’m back,” she called.

  No response.

  She walked in and set her keys and purse in the kitchen. Carrying the ultrasound picture, she headed for the bedroom.

  “Bryce, I have something to show you…” She trailed off as she walked into an empty room.

  Something was off. Tentatively, she opened the closet by the door. Empty. Next, the closet they shared. All of his clothes were gone. Drawers were empty, too. Panic set in as she raced to the bathroom. Toothbrush, shaving kit, everything. Gone.