by Sarah Biglow
Her parents gawked at her from across the table as the waiter came by with water and rolls. Lisbeth looked at the food, and her stomach flipped. She wasn’t hungry anymore. She pushed away from the table and left the restaurant, Candace right behind her.
19
October 31st
Renee stepped out of the shower, wrapped a towel around her body, and stared at herself in the mirror. She had to wipe the mist free to see her reflection clearly. Music blared in the living room, permeating the closed bathroom door. Strange Halloween music that Erika had insisted on playing. Renee let her do it since it was Halloween. Pulling on jeans and a sweatshirt, she walked out with a towel on her hair—the costume could wait until later. Erika was doing the Thriller dance in the living room.
“What are you doing?” Renee asked. She couldn’t help but laugh.
Erika stopped and blushed. “Just um…dancing.”
“I see that.”
“It’s kind of a tradition my friends and I had in college. On Halloween, we’d dress up and do our own Thriller video.”
“That sounds fun.”
“Yeah. So, what are you dressing up as tonight?”
“I have a few things to choose from. You know, the old staples. Dead hooker, vampire.”
Erika laughed. “I think I might dress up like one of the Pussy Cat Dolls.”
“You’d look really cute. Is Dane coming over?”
“I don’t know.”
“You did invite him, right?”
“Yeah. I told him he could stop by. But…I haven’t seen him in a while.”
“You have been avoiding him.”
“It’s just weird. We dated in college, and I know he still likes me.”
“But you don’t want to lead him on. Unless you still like him.”
“Exactly. But…I mean, I like him as a friend.”
“Well, just tell him how things are.”
Erika nodded. Renee walked by the table and grabbed a fistful of candy.
Erika made a disapproving clucking noise.
“What?” Renee asked.
“That’s for the kids.”
“We don’t get many kids here. So we’ve got enough chocolate to keep us happy for a while.”
When Renee came back, hair dried and makeup on, Erika sat on the floor with her legs tucked under her.
“What are you doing?”
“Yoga. I thought I’d try doing it outside of class. It’s started to not hurt so much after class.”
Renee sat down opposite her roommate and mirrored her position. They stretched and contorted into slightly less painful positions together for a good half hour.
“You’re right, I feel less achy afterwards,” Renee agreed.
Erika just smiled and stood up. “So, are we just going to hang out and gorge on candy all night?”
“Sure. We can rent movies or something, too.”
“Cool. What did you usually do on Halloween?”
“I’d go out trick-or-treating. Well, in college. Kind of stopped once I graduated and got a job. When it falls on a weekday, it’s really fun to see all the kids coming in dressed up.”
“We used to have killer parties on campus. This is going to be the first year I haven’t had one.”
“Well, we’re making our own traditions. Two hot mamas,” Renee said with a smile.
Erika smiled and glanced down at her stomach. “Don’t remind me.”
“Sorry. Still no word from the agency?”
“None yet. I guess it’s taking longer. I’m kind of nervous.”
“Don’t worry about it, Erika. You’ll find the perfect people for your baby.”
“Yeah. Sometimes I wonder if it’s right.”
Renee wrapped Erika in a hug. “You have to do what your heart tells you. No matter what it says.”
“You really believe that?” Erika didn’t look impressed.
“Yes. I do believe that.”
“Even after Bryce? I mean, you didn’t think about giving the baby up?”
The heat in Renee’s cheeks deepened, and her neck warmed. She hadn’t talked about Bryce in a while. She’d almost convinced herself to forget him completely.
“No. But, that’s different. I mean, we talked about it. Okay, so he suggested, and I told him he was full of shit and to not tell me what to do.”
“Do you think he’ll ever come back?”
“I don’t know. I doubt it. But that’s not important. Today is supposed to be a fun day,” Renee said and put on a smile.
By the afternoon, they’d decorated the apartment with lights, fake cobwebs, and spiders. The candy bowl had only taken a few hits, which were quickly replenished. Around four p.m., Renee was standing in front of the microwave, making a cup of hot chocolate, when Erika walked in. Besides the obvious baby bump, she looked like a kick-ass rock star.
“You look great,” Renee exclaimed as the microwave beeped.
She pulled the mug out and blew the steam off the top of the drink.
“Thanks. I just got a text from Dane. He said he would be over around five. So you had better be in costume.”
“Yes, ma’am. Oh, how are things going at meetings?”
“Um. They’re okay. It’s nice to know there are people who get what I’m going through. Like Nate.”
Renee quirked a brow and said, “You haven’t mentioned him before.”
“Sure I have. He’s the one that made me talk. He’s really cute. But I don’t know. I shouldn’t be thinking about dating.”
Renee shook her head, took a sip of hot chocolate, and sighed. The warmth spread through her body and invigorated her. Erika pulled a packet of cocoa mix out of the cabinet and picked up a mug.
“So did you decide what you’re dressing up as?”
“It’s going to be a surprise.”
“Well, I can’t wait.”
Renee took her hot chocolate into the living room and sat down on the couch, looking around. A sudden emptiness flooded the room. Or maybe it was in her heart. Bringing up Bryce had stirred up unresolved feelings.
“Jerk,” she grumbled and downed the rest of her drink. She could still hear Erika in the kitchen, making her own hot chocolate. Might as well get dressed.
Renee emerged from her room as a knock came on the front door. Both she and Erika reached it at the same time. Renee reached for the doorknob, and Erika snickered.
“What?” Renee asked.
“You’re a waitress.”
“Yeah, from that movie with Keri Russell.”
“Okay.”
Renee pulled open the door and stared at Shannon, her kids, and a guy she assumed was Shannon’s husband.
“Hi,” Renee said, confused.
“Trick or treat,” the kids said.
“Oh. Let me get the candy,” Erika said and raced off to the living room.
“What a surprise,” Renee said.
“I thought we’d just drop by. The kids wanted to dress up early.”
“Well, thanks. That’s really sweet of you.”
Renee examined the kids’ costumes. Tanner was dressed in a red and gold suit with a mask.
“He’s Iron Man,” Christian said.
“I see that. Very cool. And what about you?”
“I’m a princess,” Meghan interrupted and gave a twirl.
“I see. You must be an ice princess because you have a penguin.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m a werewolf,” Christian answered.
“Who wants candy?” Erika asked, returning with the bowl.
The kids each took a couple of pieces. Their dad led them out into the hallway.
“Oh that’s adorable,” Renee said, spotting the apron Shannon was wearing. A picture of a pumpkin rested against her stomach.
“I thought it was appropriate.”
“Would your pumpkin like some candy?” Erika offered.
“Maybe just a piece,” Shannon said and stuck a mini Snickers into her apron pocket.
“So what are you doing tonight?” Shannon asked.
“Watching movies and pigging out on candy.”
“Sounds like a lot of fun.”
Behind them, Tanner and Meghan began to shriek and giggle.
“Sounds like the princess and Iron Man need a little help,” Renee said, smiling.
“I’m sure my darling werewolf is chasing them. We also stopped by because I wanted to invite you both to Thanksgiving dinner at our place. We usually do a big family gathering, but with everyone’s schedules this year, it would just be us.”
“That’s really sweet of you. I’ll have to talk to my parents about their plans. I’ll let you know,” Renee said.
“Great.”
“I’m in,” Erika added.
“I should have more details about the time and everything in a week or so.”
“Mama, Christian’s trying to eat me,” Tanner cried.
“That’s my cue.”
They watched as Shannon herded her family down the hallway toward the elevator.
“She’s so nice,” Erika said.
“Yeah. She is. I’m sure you’ll have a great time at Thanksgiving.”
“You have to come. I mean, it would be kind of weird without you,” Erika said.
“You could ask Dane to go with you,” Renee teased.
“Not fair. New rule. No teasing about ex-boyfriends.”
“Fine. But don’t blame me if you two get a little cuddly tonight,” Renee said with a wink and took the bowl of candy back to the living room.
Right at five o’clock, Dane showed up, dressed as he always was. Renee showed him in and offered to get him something to drink.
“Soda, if you’ve got it. I’m trying not to drink around Erika anymore.”
“Sure.”
“How is she?”
“She’s doing better. She’s going to meetings twice a week. They seem to be helping. Plus, she’s found a sort of sponsor.”
“Good.”
“What are you supposed to be?” Renee asked.
“College kid,” he answered with a shrug.
“Oh. Imaginative.”
Erika appeared from her bedroom and gave Dane a smile. He looked at her and laughed. Renee gave Erika a wink and handed Dane a can of soda.
“I’m going to see what movies we have,” Renee said and left the two to talk.
She could hear snippets of their conversation but tried to block it out. It wasn’t her business. She pulled a pile of DVDs from under the TV and started to sift through them. Renee jumped as something vibrated in her apron pocket. She fished out her phone.
“Hello?”
“Happy Halloween, honey,” her mother said.
“Hi, Mom. You guys have many kids stop by?”
“Not yet. It’s early. But I’m sure we’ll get some. How about you?”
“Three. Shannon brought her kids over.”
“Shannon?”
“One of the women in my yoga class. Speaking of, she invited me over for Thanksgiving.”
“That was nice of her.”
“Would you be horribly disappointed if I decided to go? There’s a group of us that have gotten kind of close in the last couple months.”
“You can do whatever you like, Renee. It won’t be the same without you, but you have your own life.”
“Thanks.”
“Do you have any plans for the evening?” her mother asked.
“Just hanging out with Erika and her friend Dane and watching movies.”
“Well, have fun. Don’t eat too much candy.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Renee hung up and was immediately accosted by Dane and Erika chasing each other into the room like little kids.
“Let’s get this party started,” Dane said.
Renee popped Rocky Horror in the DVD player, and they settled in for the night. Erika curled up against Dane’s shoulder as the closing credits rolled around seven fifteen.
“Another one?” Renee asked from the chair nearby.
“What else do we have?” she asked and detached herself from the couch and Dane’s arm.
Renee pushed the pile of cases across the room with her foot, and Erika sifted through them until she found Clue.
“It’s silly, but…we need lighthearted silly after that,” Erika said.
“Go for it.”
Around ten o’clock, Renee stretched and turned the TV off. Erika snored lightly on the couch. Dane tried to extricate himself from her grip but appeared to be failing.
“Want some help getting her to bed?” Renee offered.
“Yeah. Thanks. It was fun tonight.”
Together, they managed to get Erika to her bed. Renee walked Dane to the front door and said goodbye before heading to bed herself.
20
November 16th
Erika bent over the table, trying to reach a stray straw wrapper when she heard footsteps behind her and a voice asked, “Need some help?”
“No, I got it,” Erika said and got on her knees to pick up the trash. She struggled to her feet and turned to see her boss standing there.
“I have to say, Erika, I’m surprised by you.”
Erika fiddled with the crumpled up wrapper between her fingers. She didn’t know what to say.
“Um, thanks.”
“I just wanted to let you know, you missed a call.”
Erika rooted in her apron for her phone. She’d been keeping it with her in case the adoption agency called. It wasn’t there. She felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean for it go off.”
“You’ve got a break now. Why don’t you take the call?” Her boss handed her the phone.
Erika hastily checked her missed calls. Sure enough, Arlene had left a voicemail. She raced out of the restaurant and began pacing while the phone rang. Five, six times before someone answered.
“Commonwealth Adoption Services,” a woman answered.
“Hi, um, my name is Erika Lind. I just got a voicemail from Arlene.”
“One moment, please.”
Erika tapped her fingers on her leg to the rhythm of the hold music. Two minutes later, the music stopped, and a familiar voice came on the line.
“Erika? It’s Arlene.”
“Hi. I was working, and I missed your call,” Erika explained, even though Arlene probably already knew that.
“That’s all right. I just wanted to tell you that we have a potential match for you.”
Erika gasped. It wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be. She’d almost given up the hope that they’d find anyone.
“You did?” she finally got out.
“Yes. They can come in this afternoon around four o’clock. Are you available then?”
Erika ran a hand over her forehead and tried to think. She’d promised one of her co-workers she could cover her afternoon shift today. She didn’t want to skip out, but this was…life changing.
“Erika, are you still there?” Arlene asked after pause of silence.
“Yeah, I’m here…I think…I’ll have to check with my manager.”
“Okay. Well, can you do that in the next twenty minutes so I can let the couple know whether we’ll be able to meet and assess whether they’re a good fit?”
“Yeah. I’ll do it right now. Hang on. Don’t go anywhere.”
Erika bounded back inside to find her manager. She was tabulating time sheets.
“I have to leave around three thirty,” Erika blurted.
“I thought you said you could do an extra shift this afternoon.”
“I know. But there’s this thing that just came up…the adoption agency found a family.”
Her manager’s face softened. “Go. Good luck.”
Erika breathed a huge sigh of relief and stepped into a more secluded area. “I’ll be there,” she told Arlene.
“Great. We’ll see you then.”
&nb
sp; Erika hung up and jumped in a little circle. She thought about calling Renee to let her know but decided to wait until after the meeting for the good news. An extra bubbly mood, broad smile included, overtook her the rest of the afternoon. At exactly three thirty, she clocked out and hopped on the T. The train trundled below the city, and Erika checked her watch repeatedly until reaching her stop. She ran up the stairs to street level and had to catch her breath as she walked into Commonwealth Adoption Services. She said hello to the receptionist and ducked down the hall to the waiting room. Arlene stuck her head out and waved Erika back before she had a chance to get comfortable in the chair.
“How are you doing?” Arlene asked as they walked to a small conference room.
“I’m okay. Been going to meetings and working a lot.”
“That’s great. And you’ve been going to your doctor’s appointments?”
“Yeah. They said the baby looks good. We should know soon if it’s a boy or a girl.”
“Have a seat in here. Your prospective family should be here any minute. Help yourself to something to drink.”
“Thanks.”
Arlene left the room, and Erika poured a glass of water. She gulped it down and refilled the glass in a matter of seconds. Looking around the room with its floor-to-ceiling bookshelves stocked with a book for every shelf, Erika finally settled into one of the plush office chairs just as Arlene came back with a couple. Older, maybe in their forties. The woman was wearing a stuffy-looking high-collared dress, and the man wore a tweed suit. By their appearance, she didn’t like them. Arlene sat down next to Erika and opened a portfolio.
“Well, Erika, this is Mr. and Mrs. Hilliard,” Arlene introduced.
“Hi. Nice to meet you,” Erika said.
Mr. Hilliard looked at her as if he was trying to look through her. She squirmed, and unease clinched her gut.
“I’ve explained the situation to Mr. and Mrs. Hilliard,” Arlene continued, “and I think they would be a good fit.”
Erika leaned on the edge of the table and looked directly at the Hilliards. “What exactly makes you a good fit?”
“We have experience with special needs children. We fostered several,” Mrs. Hilliard answered.
