by Sarah Biglow
“What happened?” Lisbeth asked, joining her.
“It was my baby shower. I really didn’t want one. And Mike and I ended up arguing. I sent everyone home early.”
“Oh no.”
“I’d been bottling it up for a while. We aren’t prepared to have another baby. Sure, we have the space right now, but in a year, what then? He says we can build an addition, but I don’t know if that’s feasible.”
“It’s good that you brought it up now. Though you’ve been feeling this way for a while,” Candace said.
“And it’s probably not helping my blood pressure.”
“Did they ever figure out what was causing the spikes?” Lisbeth asked.
Shannon shook her head. “They think it might be some effects of advanced maternal age. It seems to have settled down now. Though they want me to go in for a three-hour glucose tolerance test to check for gestational diabetes and a few other things. Just what I want.”
She ran her hands over her face and exhaled a long breath.
“I hate fighting with him. But I just couldn’t keep it to myself anymore. And I know he expects me to just stay home with the baby because I work from home as it is. Not that he really sees what I do as a job.”
“He doesn’t want to take leave?”
“He’s got a solo practice. His clients are more important than his family. It’s nothing new. I guess this time, it just was too much.”
“You’ll work it out, I’m sure,” Candace said.
Shannon shook her head. They were trying to reassure her, but it felt like they were siding with Mike.
Lisbeth squeezed Shannon’s hand. “You can stay here if you want. We can make the couch up.”
“That’s sweet, but the kids will start to wonder. And Tanner won’t go to bed without me kissing him good night.”
“Well, we’d love for you to stay for the afternoon.”
“I think I’ll take you up on that offer. You wouldn’t by chance have some chocolate? I’m in the mood for something absolutely horrible.”
Lisbeth gave her a wry grin and went into the kitchen. Candace took her spot on the couch and set her mug on the table. They sat in silence for a minute or two before either said anything.
“You think he has a point?” Shannon blurted.
“Oh, I don’t know. I mean, it seems rather unfair that he’s putting all the childcare responsibilities on you simply because you already stay home. To be honest, I didn’t think there were many people out there who still had such…traditional views of gender roles.”
“I guess that’s really my big issue. Though feeding another mouth is going to be more than we’re used to.”
Just then, Lisbeth returned with a bowl of chips, salsa, and chocolate. “I grabbed all the bad stuff I could find.”
“Oh, that looks amazing,” Shannon said and took the box of chocolate.
They squeezed together to let Lisbeth sit down and began to eat. Shannon couldn’t help but smile to herself. This felt more like the kind of gathering she would have preferred for a baby shower: her current friends who knew exactly what she was going through.
“So have you heard from Erika lately?” Shannon asked.
“I haven’t. I know she was feeling a little under the weather last week and that’s why she didn’t come to class.”
“I hope it’s not something with the baby,” Candace said.
“I think she may have just gotten a cold at work. But I’m sure Renee is taking good care of her,” Lisbeth said.
“Well, I think Dane might be staying over. They seem to be back together,” Shannon said.
“He sounds like such a sweet guy,” Candace added.
“I hope we see her next week. I want to hear what’s happening with the adoption.”
“From what Erika said at New Year’s, they were exchanging e-mails through January. I think they’re supposed to meet at the end of the month,” Lisbeth said.
“What about you two? How are you holding up?” Shannon asked.
She watched as Candace and Lisbeth exchanged glances. They both smiled, and Lisbeth fidgeted with the chip in her hand.
“We’re good. We’ve been working on the nursery. Want to see?”
“Sure.”
She followed them into the nursery. Both cribs now had pads and blankets draped over the edge. The changing table was full of newborn-size diapers, and rattles and balls were stenciled around the room.
“We just have to paint next weekend, and we’ll be ready.”
“Well, we need clothes, but that’s part of next weekend. The big shopping extravaganza,” Lisbeth explained.
“Sounds like you’ve got it all planned out.”
“And I’ll be on maternity leave until October. I’ve already worked it out with school.”
“Have you thought about names yet?” Shannon asked.
“We’ve been thinking of a few, but we haven’t really nailed any down for sure.”
“Well, I thought we decided on one,” Candace corrected.
“Oh, right.”
“We’ve decided on Rachel Maria.”
“Oh, that’s pretty. Are you hyphenating their last names?”
“Yeah. Sherman-Marquez. Has a nice ring to it,” Lisbeth replied.
“It does. So you’re having trouble with the boy?”
“Yeah. We can’t quite decide. What about you? Or have you not talked about it?”
“I’ve been thinking about Carter or Aiden. I’m personally leaning toward Aiden. I guess we’ll see what Mike says. Once he’s speaking to me again.”
“He will. He’ll come to his senses and stop being a jerk.”
“Here’s hoping.”
They went back to the living room and finished off the chips and salsa. By the time Shannon looked at the clock, it read nearly five thirty.
“Are you doing okay?” Lisbeth asked.
“Yeah. The kids are probably wondering where I am.”
“I’ll walk you downstairs.”
“Thanks.”
Shannon got up and gave Candace a quick hug. “I’ll see you later.”
“You bet.”
Shannon and Lisbeth headed out and waited for the elevator. “You’re lucky you’ve got someone so supportive.”
“I am pretty lucky, aren’t I?”
“Have your parents come around?”
“Not yet. I think they’re more accepting of the fact they’re going to have grandchildren in a few months. But me being a lesbian…they might never be okay with that. But my sister is on my side, so I can’t complain too much.”
The elevator arrived, and they stepped in. A minute later, they stepped off in the lobby, and Shannon said goodbye. She thanked the parking attendant when she got back to her car and pulled out into traffic. She drove around the block a few times just to clear her head before heading home. Shannon pulled into the driveway, and the clock on the dash displayed ten after six. She climbed out of the car and reached for the front door. She could hear voices inside, and something beeped. The microwave. So much for cooking dinner. She opened the door and walked in. Christian reached into the microwave and pulled out a bowl of macaroni. Tanner danced around the kitchen with the packet of cheese.
“Give me the cheese,” Christian said.
“Mac and cheese.”
“Where’s your sister?” Shannon asked once Tanner handed over the packet.
“Mama, where’d you go?” Tanner squealed and nearly knocked her over in his haste to hug her.
“Mama just needed to go out for a little bit.”
“Meghan’s upstairs playing in her room,” Christian answered.
“Did you offer to make her something to eat?”
“Yeah. She said she wanted to wait until you came home.”
“Okay. Where’s Dad?”
“Upstairs.”
“Make sure you wait until it cools down,” she said and gave Tanner a stern look.
Shannon set her purse down and heade
d upstairs. She went to Meghan’s room and found her daughter playing with her dolls.
“Honey, are you hungry?”
“Mama, where were you? Daddy was really mad. Why did you leave?”
“I just went to see some friends. I’m sorry you got upset.” She pulled Meghan into a hug and said, “Come on, I’ll make you some dinner.”
“Okay.”
They headed downstairs, and Shannon barely glanced at the closed bedroom door at the end of the hall. Christian and Tanner sat at the table, sharing macaroni and cheese.
“Christian makes good mac and cheese,” Tanner proclaimed.
“Did you say thank you?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Meg, what do you want?”
“Hot dog. And mac and cheese.”
“You got it.”
Meghan sat down at the table and tried to sneak a bite of Tanner’s dinner. He whined and smacked her hand.
“Meg, don’t do that. You’ll have dinner in a few minutes.”
“Sorry, Mama.”
Shannon made two more packets of macaroni and cheese and two hotdogs. She put them on the table and poured each of the kids a glass of milk.
“Mama?”
“Yes, Meghan.”
“Why did everyone leave?”
“Because Mama wasn’t feeling well.”
“Why?”
“Eat your dinner.”
Shannon watched her kids eat and wondered what their new addition would be like in a few years. Would they still be here, or would they have to move? She tried to push the thoughts out of her mind, unable to handle thinking about them anymore. Not today. Twenty minutes later, she stood over the sink, washing dishes. She could hear the kids arguing in the living room over the TV remote.
“You have to share,” she shouted over her shoulder.
Footsteps echoed in the front hall, and Shannon braced herself. But Mike didn’t yell. He just walked in and leaned against the stove. Shannon focused on her task and waited for him to speak. That’s how their fights worked.
“Where did you go?” he finally asked.
“To see a friend.”
“The kids were worried.”
“I know. I’m sorry I upset them.”
“You should have told me you were upset before.”
“I knew you’d react like you did.”
“Here we go.”
“Mike, look. I don’t want to fight. Not tonight. I’m tired. We can worry about living arrangements down the line. But you can’t just expect me to take time off from my career because we’re having another baby. Just because I work from home doesn’t mean I can devote ample time to both.”
“I told you I’d take time off.”
“You said it to make me feel better.”
“I will take time off, Shannon. I don’t think it can be six months, but a couple. I can talk to some friends and see if they’ll take on some of my cases.”
Shannon shut the water off and turned to face him. “Fine. But honestly, do you even understand how you belittle what I do just by making it such a big deal to take time off?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I feel like your clients are more important to you than your family.”
“That’s not true.”
“Couldn’t prove it by me.”
“Where is this coming from?”
Shannon gripped the dishtowel between her fingers and took a breath.
“I never said anything because I hate fighting with you. But I think this baby has made me realize that there are things we need to address. I…I want to see a counselor.”
“You’re serious?” he said.
“Yes. It’s the only way we’re going to get through this.”
Mike didn’t look pleased. But he didn’t say no, either. She hoped that getting a third party’s perspective on the situation would help them learn to communicate. She couldn’t bear the thought of what would happen if they couldn’t work their problems out before the baby was born.
26
January 16th
Lisbeth stood at the chalkboard and wrote the numbers ten through fifty big enough for the kids in the back to see. The chalk squeaked on the board as she finished the last zero. She dusted her hands off and turned back to the class.
“Okay, everyone. Let’s see how far we can get today.”
She received a few whines from the back of the room, but the class started reciting the numbers as she pointed. They’d get to one hundred by the time she took maternity leave. She was determined to get them ready for first grade. She hit thirty, and the unison recitation broke in scattered answers. She smiled at the kids.
“Thirty,” she told them, and they parroted it back to her.
They repeated it a few times before moving on. They made it to forty before the bell rang and class ended.
“That’s great, everyone. We’ll pick up here on Monday. You can put your books in your desks and get your coats.”
Chairs skittered over linoleum and books clunked into desks while Lisbeth erased the numbers from the board. James and Margaret were the first to line up at the door. She was pleasantly surprised when they stood side by side and didn’t argue or pick on each other. Once the rest of the kids fell into line, she walked them out to the bus. Most of her kids were now riding the afternoon bus. She saw Ellen and waved.
“You’re not running off today, are you?” Ellen asked.
“I don’t really have plans until tonight. Why?”
“We’re having a grade meeting.”
“I didn’t know about that.”
“They just decided it last minute.”
“Teacher’s lounge?” Lisbeth asked.
“Yes.”
“I’ll see you there in a few minutes.”
Lisbeth headed back inside and tidied up the classroom. Fridays were always the worst mess-wise. In the back of her mind, she knew there really wasn’t a staff meeting. She’d heard rumblings of a baby shower, but she’d feign surprise for her colleagues. She picked up her coat and purse and headed down the hall to the faculty lounge and was about to walk in, when Ellen grabbed her wrist.
“I don’t think everyone’s finished getting their kids to gym and arts.”
“That’s okay. We can get settled.”
“I think we should wait.”
Lisbeth didn’t argue. “Actually, I’ll be right back.”
Ellen nodded, and Lisbeth headed for the bathroom. Rachel had been pressing on her bladder all week, and it made avoiding the bathroom nearly impossible. They still hadn’t settled on a name for their little boy, and she hated not being able to say his name at night before going to bed. Five minutes later, Lisbeth emerged from the bathroom, and Ellen stood waiting.
“Can we go in now?” Lisbeth asked.
“Yeah.”
They walked in. The lights were off, and the chairs were placed at odd intervals around the table. She could make out the top of someone’s head behind the couch. Behind her, Ellen flipped the lights, and everyone popped up.
“Surprise!” half of the staff shouted.
Lisbeth laughed and felt color flood her cheeks. Even though she’d known about it, it still caught her off guard. She made her way to a chair and doubled over with laughter.
“Careful, don’t want to go into labor too soon,” Jack said.
Lisbeth looked at him and shook her head. “This is great. Thank you so much. I hope it doesn’t interfere with your afternoon classes.”
Some of the third grade teachers brought out a giant cake and set it on the table. Pink and blue bottles and rattles surrounded the edges with Congratulations scrawled across the middle in big letters.
“It looks amazing.”
Jack handed her the knife. “You can do the honors.”
“Is it like birthday cake, where I get the first slice?”
“Take two. You’ve got growing babies in there.”
“Just for that, you’re getting the
tiniest piece,” Lisbeth joked.
She cut into the C of Congratulations and handed it over. She made short work of the rest of the cake, and soon, people settled in for presents. Lisbeth eyed the small stack, and Jack sidled up beside her.
“You’re like a kid on their birthday,” Jack said.
“You’re just full of funny today.”
“I try. But it’s Friday, and I’m allowed be a little crass.”
“There are children in the room.”
“Oh, they can’t hear me.”
“Don’t be so sure about that.”
“Lisbeth, smile,” Ellen called and snapped a picture.
Lisbeth put her cake down and stood up. “Sitting too long makes my ankles hurt.”
“So do they have names yet?”
“One of them does.” She put her hand on her left side. “This is Rachel.”
“Her brother doesn’t have a name yet?”
“We keep trying to find one that fits, but no luck yet.”
“You could always call him Baby B.”
“Yeah, I don’t think he’d ever talk to us again.”
“Okay, everyone. Time for presents,” Ellen announced.
By the time Lisbeth got through them all, she had six pairs of clothes, a dozen bottles, and bibs. The lunch period was nearly over, and the higher-grade teachers needed to head back to their students.
“Thank you, everyone. I really appreciate all of this. I’m going to miss not seeing your smiling faces until October.”
“You’re not going anywhere for a while,” one of the other kindergarten teachers said.
“That’s not really up to me,” Lisbeth replied and patted her stomach.
“Just keep them in there as long as you can.”
Lisbeth grinned and started to gather the presents. Jack waved goodbye and left the staff lounge. She managed to fit everything into two bags and headed for the parking lot. With everything in the back seat, she checked her phone for the time. Enough time to drop off everything before meeting the girls for appetizers. She was about to get into the car, when Ellen ran toward her.
“Did I forget something?” Lisbeth asked.
“No, sweetie. Just wanted to say we’re going to miss you while you’re gone.”
“I’ll be back. I’m not due until the middle of April. So I’ll probably be here at least through February.”
