Unplanned

by Sarah Biglow

  “Everything okay?” Erika asked.

  “No. He wants back into my life. I told him to leave. I don’t need his sorry ass in my life. I don’t care if he wants to apologize.”

  Erika hugged her. “We can tell security to not let him in the building anymore.”

  “Maybe.”

  Renee glanced over her shoulder at the clock on the microwave.

  “We should head out. Class starts in an hour.”

  “You sure you want to go?” Erika asked.

  “I need all the meditation I can get right now. Before I put a hole through something.”

  They changed into their workout clothes and headed for the T. They arrived at the yoga studio just as Lisbeth lumbered out of her car. She shut the driver door and moved as quickly as she could across the street.

  “How are you doing?” Erika asked, holding the door open.

  “Oh, you know. It’s getting harder to do things. Luckily, the nursery is done. The doctor said the twins are growing nicely, though. She did suggest I probably shouldn’t be driving, but I don’t really have a choice today.”

  Renee tried to look interested in her friend’s news. But she couldn’t get Bryce out of her head. She didn’t even hear the receptionist tell them to wait a few extra minutes because Carolyn was going to be late.

  “Renee,” Lisbeth said, snapping her fingers to get her attention.

  “Huh?”

  “Did you hear what I said?”

  “No. Sorry.”

  “I asked when we’re going to know what to write on the congratulations card for when the baby is born.”

  “Oh, um, soon. I’m really sorry. It was just a really stressful morning.”

  “You look kind of distracted.”

  “Bryce showed up.”

  Lisbeth gave her a sad look and dragged her toward the changing area, where Erika and Shannon were filling their water bottles.

  “Were you there when it happened?” Lisbeth asked, looking at Erika.

  “Yeah. What a jerk.”

  “What happened?” Shannon asked.

  “Bryce showed up this morning,” Erika said.

  “Oh, Renee. Honey, is everything okay?”

  “I don’t know. He said he wants back in my life. And he wants to see the baby.”

  “Did he give any sort of explanation for why he left?”

  “No.”

  She couldn’t admit that she hadn’t really given him a chance to explain.

  “What did you tell him?” Lisbeth asked.

  “Mostly, I told him he was a jackass and to get out.”

  “So nothing is settled. That’s a difficult situation,” Shannon said.

  “He just makes me so angry.”

  “I know you don’t want to deal with him, but you have to think about the baby. Would her life be better with her father in it?”

  “Not if his prior actions are any indication. I mean, say I let him see her. What do I tell her when he doesn’t show up because he’s off hanging out with his friends?”

  “You could give it a try, and if he bails too many times, then you change the arrangement or end it,” Lisbeth interjected.

  “You think that would actually work?”

  “It gives him a chance to grow up and be a mature adult. Besides, you don’t want him to take you to court,” Shannon said as they headed for the studio.

  “I’ll think about it,” Renee said, setting her mat on the floor.

  Renee focused all of her energy on her breathing and pushed all thoughts of the world outside the studio from her mind. Her heartbeat slowed so each beat was in harmony with an exhalation. She looked to her right and noticed how much Lisbeth struggled. Their gazes met, and Renee flashed a supportive smile. In a few short weeks, Renee would probably be too big to do most of the exercises, too. But until then, she would enjoy the community of women around her. If it hadn’t been for them, she wouldn’t have gotten through the last few months. Not with her sanity intact.

  Class ended, and Renee wiped the sweat from her forehead and the nape of her neck. She felt more relaxed, even if she was in need of a shower. Despite the feelings of anger swirling below the surface, tension no longer tugged on her neck and shoulder muscles. She walked out of the studio, and the cool air from outside filtered in as someone opened the door. She let the air cool her for a moment before continuing to the changing area.

  “Anyone want to go for coffee?” Lisbeth asked.

  “I can’t. I’ve got to pick the kids up early from school today,” Shannon said.

  “What about you two?” Lisbeth looked at Renee and Erika.

  “We still have some of the nursery to put together. Plus, I have to deal with Bryce.”

  “No problem. Good luck.”

  “You all right to drive home?” Shannon asked.

  “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I can still reach the pedals,” Lisbeth said and patted her stomach.

  They grabbed their jackets and all walked out together. Renee and Erika waved goodbye as they headed for the T. They took the stairs down, and Renee groaned.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Oh, it’s just I’m all sweaty, and the air down here is kind of gross.”

  Erika laughed. “You’re calling dibs on the shower, aren’t you?”

  “Kind of, yeah.”

  “Okay. I have to check my e-mail anyway. Michelle and Andrew said they’d send some new pictures today.”

  “They are so the perfect people for you,” Renee said as a train came screeching to a halt beside them.

  “And we haven’t even met face to face.”

  “When is that meeting?”

  “The twenty-fifth.”

  “Oh, I didn’t realize it was next week.”

  “Yeah. I think I’m going to ask Dane to go with me. I’ve been telling him so much about them. He’d probably ignore me for a month if I didn’t take him.”

  “You haven’t talked about Nate since Christmas,” Renee said.

  “He’s halfway around the world.”

  “You aren’t telling him all about this?”

  “No way of contacting him. Kind of annoyed he didn’t give me an e-mail address so I could.”

  They climbed onto the train and rode it back to their apartment. Renee stopped at the front desk and asked if Bryce had come back. The doorman shook his head, and Renee thanked him. So much for working things out now. She rode the elevator and hopped in the shower. Half an hour later, she was dressed, refreshed, and significantly less gross. Renee stared at the haphazard appearance of her bedroom. She scooted the chest of drawers against one corner and tried to drag the changing table next to it.

  “Hey, Erika?” she called.

  “Yeah?”

  “Can you give me a hand?”

  “One second.”

  Renee stuck some of the blankets in the crib and clothes in the dresser. Erika appeared in the doorway moments later.

  “What’s up?”

  “I can’t move the changing table by myself.”

  Together, they situated the changing table to Renee’s liking. Renee took a step back and examined the room. Almost ready for my little girl.

  “It looks good,” Erika said.

  “Yeah. I think I just need diapers and bottles.”

  “Well, a stroller, too.”

  “Oh, shit. I completely forgot about a stroller and car seat.”

  “But you don’t drive.”

  “Still, some of the strollers come with a car seat in them. And if my parents ever want to take her, I’d need one.”

  “Do you want to go now?”

  “No. We don’t have to do it right now. Right now, I just want to relax and not do anything. I’m going to enjoy my day off, damn it.”

  She and Erika left the bedroom and ended up in the living room, seated side by side on the couch. Renee flipped through channels.

  “So did you get pictures?” Renee asked.

  “A few. They’re excited to come back to t
he U.S. They can’t wait to see me.”

  “I bet. Have you talked to Dane today?”

  “Not yet. I’ll call him later. He said he might stop by tonight.”

  “Okay.”

  Renee turned her attention to the cheesy daytime soaps and couldn’t contain a bout of gut-wrenching laughter at the overdramatic nature of the scenarios and characters. It was nice to find someone else’s messed-up life entertaining. Definitely cathartic. In the back of her mind, she wondered where Bryce had gone and if he’d be back. A part of her hoped he would give up and leave her alone. But the bigger part knew he’d be back. He could be persistent when he wanted. And the thought she might have to face a judge to keep him at bay scared her.

  28

  January 25th

  Erika paced frantically at the front door to the apartment. Renee had left for work half an hour earlier, and Dane was late. He was never late, and she started to worry. She reached for her phone and nearly hit send, when a knock stopped her. Yanking open the door, she nearly threw herself at Dane.

  “Sorry I’m late. Traffic was crazy today.”

  “Let’s go. Come on.”

  She didn’t give him time to catch his breath before she dragged him back to the elevator.

  “Would you calm down?”

  “But today’s the day. I’ve been waiting for this since Christmas.”

  “I know, Erika. But you’re going to pull my arm off. Just slow down. We have plenty of time to get there. We aren’t going to miss them.”

  Erika huffed and slowed her pace. Dane laced his fingers through hers, and they walked out of the building and to the T. As the heat within the station pressed against Erika’s face, she couldn’t stand still, and the baby kept punting her bladder like a football, making the wait unbearable.

  “I think you’re both nervous,” Dane commented as they stepped onto a train and found seats.

  “Can you blame us?”

  “No. You know, I’m really glad you let me come with you.”

  “I figured you wouldn’t talk to me for months if I didn’t. Besides, I’ve told them about you, too.”

  Erika counted the stops in her head as the train whizzed along the tracks. Dane’s hand wrapped in hers calmed her frayed nerves. Her thoughts drifted to Nate, and she wondered where he was, what he’d think of her news. He’d say he was proud of me. The train stopped, and they stood. Just as they started to make their way to the doors, Erika felt a firm kick to her kidney and doubled over.

  “What’s wrong? Is it the baby?”

  “He just kicked really hard,” Erika gasped, trying to suck down air.

  She let Dane guide her off the train so they wouldn’t miss their stop. She leaned against a support beam until she didn’t feel so winded.

  “I’m okay. Let’s go.”

  “Take it slow.”

  She flashed a smile and walked through the turnstile and up the stairs to the street level. The sun peaked out from behind thick clouds as they crossed the street and walked the two blocks to the adoption agency. Erika walked in and headed for the back office. She darted around the corner to the bathroom and ducked into a stall. Her stomach cramped as she sat doubled over on the toilet. After heaving for a few minutes, the pain subsided. Erika rose on shaking legs, hobbled out to the sink, and splashed cold water on her face. Examining herself in the mirror, she watched as the color slowly returned to her cheeks. Hopefully, no one would know anything was wrong.

  “Where’d you go?” Dane asked when Erika sat down beside him.

  “Just had to stop at the bathroom. You know my bladder is the size of a pea these days,” Erika lied.

  “I talked to the receptionist. She said they’ll take us in about ten minutes.”

  “Have you seen them yet?” Erika asked, settling into the chair beside him.

  “I don’t think so. But then again, I wasn’t really paying attention. They could already be back there.”

  Erika nodded and turned her attention to the outer door, staring intently until Arlene appeared in her peripheral vision.

  “Erika, you can come back.”

  Erika blinked a time or two but stood up and followed the woman back to the room with the high bookshelves and the large conference table. Michelle and Andrew sat in the same seats the Hilliards had occupied on her last visit. She recognized them instantly and, despite the stomach discomfort, gave them a broad smile. As soon as Erika walked into the room, Michelle stood up and hugged her.

  “It’s so good to finally meet you,” Michelle said.

  “You, too. I hope your flight back was good.”

  Andrew walked around the table and joined in the hug. “Yeah, no problems. How about you? How are you feeling today?”

  “I’m fine. Peter’s moving a lot today.”

  “You look fantastic,” Michelle doted.

  Erika blushed. “You think so?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “I hate to interrupt, but we need to get the logistics worked out,” Arlene said.

  Erika let Michelle and Andrew sit down and then took the seat beside Dane.

  Arlene started explaining what would happen next. “I know you three have been sending e-mails back and forth for the last month, so you seem to fit quite well.”

  Erika nodded, and Michelle and Andrew smiled.

  “I’m going to take that to mean we’ll be moving forward with the adoption.”

  “Yes,” Erika said.

  “I’ve drawn up the paperwork.” Arlene passed out two copies of a typed document. “We have a few things to stipulate before you both sign.”

  “Didn’t you say something about a home visit?” Erika interrupted.

  “I did. We can certainly work that into the agreement.”

  “Why don’t you just swing by tonight after the meeting? I mean, we haven’t exactly unpacked yet, but that stuff is only in our bedroom,” Michelle said.

  “I’d be okay with that,” Erika said.

  “All right. Let me get that down. We’ll amend the agreement before you both sign.”

  “What else do we have to discuss?” Erika asked.

  “You need to come to an agreement about what communication you will retain with the child after birth.”

  “I think we can handle that,” Andrew said.

  “You’ll also need to turn over any bills for medical procedures and set up a payment plan for fees already incurred.”

  “Is that it?” Erika asked.

  “There will be a few things to sign after the baby is born, but for now, that’s all. I’ll leave you to figure these details out. Someone can get me when you’ve decided.”

  Arlene stood up and left the room. Erika stared at the doorway for a moment.

  “Um…I don’t have bills or anything on me right now,” she said.

  “Well, do you have them at home?”

  “Yeah. I’ve paid a few of them, but I don’t really make all that much to cover them all.”

  “That’s what we’re here for,” Andrew said.

  “Do you want me to run back and get them for you?” Dane offered.

  “We can always drive you home after you stop by our place and pick them up then,” Michelle said.

  “Okay. We can stop by after we figure this out.”

  They flipped back to the first page of the agreement. “Andrew and I were talking about this on the flight home, and we definitely want you to be a part of Peter’s life. We’ll send you photos and letters at birthdays and Christmas.”

  “Okay. Can I…send him cards?”

  “Absolutely,” Andrew said.

  “What about like…phone calls when he gets bigger? Just on Christmas and his birthday.”

  “We can talk about that when he gets older. I think for now, letters and photographs and cards will be enough to keep you in each other’s lives.”

  Erika licked her lips and thought about their offer. It sounded reasonable. After all, if she wanted more interaction with her son, she wouldn’t
be giving him up.

  “I know we don’t have the bills right now, but what about upcoming appointments and the stay at the hospital when I have him? I mean…I’m guessing you want to be there.”

  “We’ll need to talk to your OBGYN about billing us instead of you for the appointments and the stay. We can go with you to your next appointment to sort that out, if you want.”

  “That would be great. It’s actually this afternoon.”

  “You didn’t tell me that,” Dane interrupted.

  “You didn’t ask.” Erika stood up. “I’ll let Arlene know we’re ready.”

  Erika crossed the hallway and knocked on Arlene’s door.

  “Come in.”

  “We’re done figuring everything out.”

  “Great.”

  They walked back into the conference room, and Erika, Michelle, and Andrew shared the arrangement they’d come up with. Arlene dutifully took notes and disappeared again. She returned five minutes later with freshly printed copies of the agreement for each of them to sign. Erika slid her copy across the table and waited while Arlene witnessed both copies and stuck them in a folder.

  “We’re done. We aren’t going to have any other meetings unless something comes up that you can’t work out amongst yourselves.”

  “Great.”

  Michelle and Andrew shook hands with Arlene and they, along with Erika and Dane, left the room. Once they had coats and hats on, they headed outside.

  “So what time is your appointment?” Michelle asked.

  “Not until two. We have time to stop by your place and then swing back and get those bills if you want.”

  “Sure,” Michelle said.

  Erika followed them down to their car and slipped into the back seat. Dane slid in beside her, and Andrew pulled into late morning traffic. Erika watched the other cars fall into the stilted stop-and-go pattern in the middle of the city. Before long, they’d merged onto the highway and pulled off at one of the Cambridge exits. Another ten minutes elapsed before Andrew eased the car to a halt in front of a two-story brownstone. Erika unbuckled her seatbelt and followed the couple inside.

  “Well, let’s give you the tour,” Michelle said, taking Erika by the wrist.

  “Or we can just see the nursery. That’s okay.”