by K. R. Haynes
What if he returned her feelings for him to her? Holly wasn’t sure she could accept them if he did, even though she was desperate to hear him whisper his words of love to her.
In the past, she had always steered clear of love. That was before she met Travis. The main reason she had was so she could protect herself from the hurt of having her heartbroken. Now, Holly sensed she was going to suffer heartbreak all because she loved a man who she assumed couldn’t love her for whatever his reasons were.
She would be a fool to try to tell him how she feels now. She sensed the moment had passed them both by. Realizing he could only care for her but not love her was something Holly didn’t want him to say out loud to her. She was days from leaving him and New York behind for a year for some grand adventure in London. She should be fucking happy. So why wasn’t she?
Because she had no idea how to deal with the ramifications of leaving her heart with Travis when she left him and New York behind, that was why. There were so many strong emotions rolling through her currently her body felt like it was getting pulled in every direction imaginable.
It may have been the first and probably the only time in her life she had let a man into her heart. It also meant she didn’t know how to cope with it or with the simple fact that in a few short days she would be leaving him behind.
Walking barefoot out onto the balcony of Travis’s apartment in a long, flowing winter dress with a cashmere wrap draped around her shoulders, Holly stared out blankly at the sun setting in the distance. Her gaze wandered over the view of colors splashing against the ominous clouds covering the sky and the buildings reflecting the orangey glow of the setting sun. It looked like rain may not be far off and she guessed she should get used to the wet weather, being that it was going to be cold and wintery in London when she arrived there soon.
She sighed heavily at that thought, and gripped the wrought iron railing with her hands and leaned forward on it. It seemed funny to her that the sky reflected how she felt on the inside. The dark, ominous clouds filled with rain matched her own need to cry so she could let loose some of the emotions swelling within her. To be able to let the tears rain down on her would perhaps free her of the despair filling her now.
Holly found she was going to miss a lot of things while she was away for a year. She would miss the hustle and bustle of New York, even if London had its own version of it. She would miss the bright lights of this great city at night, and miss the smells that lingered in the air to. But most of all she would miss the one man who has sent her careening into so many mind-blowing orgasms she had lost count on exactly how many. No matter how many orgasms he gifted her with, it wasn’t just the pleasure she would miss most about him. It was the man himself that she would miss most of all. Despite her objections and arguments with herself, Holly couldn’t deny that she had indeed fallen head over heels in love with Travis Kane.
And the big question was how did he feel about her? She couldn’t bring herself to ask him that, too afraid of the answer he may give her. If he did give her the wrong answer, Holly knew she would then end up even more brokenhearted than she already would be when she left him. See, this is the reason she tried so hard not to have any kind of relationship with Travis Kane, because he could affect her emotions and feelings so damn easily.
Closing her eyes, Holly let her head hang low so her chin almost touched her chest. She refused to cry, even when she could feel the sting of tears just waiting for their cue to run down her cheeks. No, she told herself, she would not cry over him. Goddamn it, she was leaving on a new adventure and she should be excited and jumping at the bit to get started on it. So why was she feeling so damn miserable instead, like her heart had already been ripped out of her bleeding chest?
Lost to her own thoughts, Holly didn’t hear Travis when he came back to his apartment. He had told her he had an errand to run and would be back soon. He had kissed her forehead then left. That was about forty minutes ago. So not hearing him sneak up behind her to wrap his arms low around her waist had her jumping within his hold. Turning her head up to him, she waited for him to take her lips with his and wasn’t disappointed. He dipped his head and took what she had silently offered him. He kissed her the way she loved to be taken by him, hard and demanding with soft little caresses in between.
She sighed against his chest when she turned around to face him and circled her arms low around his back. Travis rubbed her back with one hand while the other hand feathered into her hair, holding her closer to him. And again for the second time tonight Holly could feel tears wanting to leak from her eyes. She fought hard not to let them leak out but one lone tear slipped from her eye and ran silently down her cheek to drip onto his shirt.
Her heart was aching for a comfort, one she wasn’t sure she could find or even knew of. So she snuggled closer into his warm embrace and breathed in the scent of his expensive cologne. She was definitely going to have to buy a bottle of it at the duty-free store at the airport, so she could have a reminder of how he smelled to her.
God, she was crazy. She couldn’t do that. Why go torture herself with the scent of him when she couldn’t even have the real man himself? Pulling away from him, Holly turned back to the darkening view of the city. They were both silent for several long minutes until Travis broke their silence with a question. One she was still mulling over in her head to come up with an answer that spoke partly the truth and was partially a lie as well. Travis had sensed she wasn’t herself as soon as he saw her and had asked her if she was all right. Holly didn’t want to ruin his jovial mood with her despondent one, and whispered into the night forming around them what she really needed from him right at that moment.
“Travis, I just need you, here now, please.”
He didn’t verbally answer her and just stepped up behind her instead pushing his taut frame against her lithe one. His hands slipped around her front and worked their way up to her breasts. He tweaked her nipples beneath her dress and she sagged against him at the feel of his fingertips working her body into frenzy of need. When he told her to grip the wrought iron railing in front of her, Holly reached in front of her and grasped the cold, dark metal in her hands. He then pushed her forward slightly so she was almost balancing on the tips of her bare toes.
“Spread your legs, sweet darlin’,” his deep voice whispered over the flesh of her neck, causing her to shudder. Slowly Holly parted her legs to what she thought was an adequate distance, only to have him grasp her waist with his hands and push her feet further apart with his booted foot. “There, much better,” he crooned into her ear. “Now, sweet darlin’, tell me have you obeyed me tonight by going completely commando?”
Holly nodded her head to answer him. Her verbal answer left her lips on a sigh when his large, rough hands slipped down her legs to pull her dress up, baring her pussy and ass to the cooling breeze drifting around them. She shivered at the contact of it caressing her exposed lady parts and at the knowledge that there could be someone out there watching her being pleasurably tormented by this man.
His growl of “good girl” rang in her ears as he teased her pussy lips with his fingertips. Oh god, his touch and the brazen way he was teasing her body was so very decadent she never wanted it to stop. His name fell from her lips, as the pleasure built up to an almost unbearable peak. She was going to burst apart if she let go for sure. Travis must have sensed it, because the next thing Holly felt was him shoving two of his thick fingers into her weeping entrance, pumping them in and out of her core.
He told her to let go and feel the pleasure when the pressure became too much. “Just feel, Holly. Let the pleasure take you where it wants to take you and come for me, darlin’. Come now for me.” His words feathered over her heated skin, and on a hoarse cry she came in a gush of warm liquid silk on his fingers he fucked her with. Her chest rose and fell rapidly as she sucked some air into her lungs as she fought to breathe. The orgasm was too much. She felt ripped apart and now had to somehow put herself back together a
gain.
“Travis...” She was breathless and still on edge after climaxing hard on his wicked fingers. Holly needed him to take her here on the balcony with the night sky surrounding them and the city lights glowing in the background. She needed to feel his possession once again, and this was about the most romantic setting they were going to get. Uncurling her fingers from around the railing, she turned around and dropped to her knees in front of him. She reached up and quickly released the button and zipper on his jeans and pushed them down his thighs, freeing his throbbing, weeping erection.
The size of his dick still had the ability to amaze her and stun her. It certainly was a magnificent sight to see for sure. “Are you just going to tease me and stare at my cock all night, darlin’, or are you planning on sucking it?”
“Now, now, Mr. Kane, shouldn’t you be asking me nicely to suck your massive dick?” she asked him with a shy smile, curving her lips and fluttering her eyelashes at him.
He answered her with a groan then added, “Damn it, Holly, stop teasing me and suck my dick already.”
Holly gave in and wrapped her lips around the crest of his cock then swirled her tongue at the weeping slit to gather up his essences. She swallowed his taste down while he tangled his hands into her hair. He tugged lightly on the lengths and pushed further into her mouth. She relaxed her jaw allowing him to push more of his hard, hot length into her mouth. She then lowered one hand and clasped it around the base of his cock and worked her mouth and hand in tandem with each other.
Hearing his strangled growl of approval, Holly doubled her efforts on his cock so he would spill his warm seed into her mouth. She needed it and wanted it with a desperation she didn’t want to acknowledge out loud. However, it seemed Travis had other ideas. He tugged hard on her hair and pulled her away from his cock until it popped free from her lips. Holly rose slowly to her feet and stared up at him, waiting for Travis to instruct her on how he wanted her and where.
“Lean forward on the railing, feet spread wide just like before, Holly. I want you to lift your dress up high enough to present me with your pussy and ass, and then I’ll choose which one I want to take. Do it now,” he growled.
Holly quickly scrambled to do as commanded of her, knowing Travis’s control was slipping fast. Gripping the railing with one hand she spread her stance as wide as she could go without toppling over. Her other hand grasped her dress to bunch it up at her waist, baring her pussy and butt to him. The feel of his warm hand caressing the cheeks of her ass had her shivering against his touch. He then fitted the tip of his cock to the entrance to her core and drove straight in.
Pleasure and pain washed over her from the animalistic way he took her. He had one hand splayed across her bare mound so he could fiddle lightly with her clit and the other hand rested on softness of her belly pressing her back on to him. Over and over again he shuttled his cock into her weeping core. They both were moaning and panting, fighting to stay afloat in the sea of overwhelming pleasure washing around them. The pressure he applied to her clit became harder and more intolerable to withstand by the second. Her orgasm was intensifying at a rapid speed, and Holly knew it was only a simple matter of him commanding her to come and she would explode into an ecstasy she would never ever get used to as it consumed her so completely.
“Come,” he managed to growl out and she screamed his name out loud. Her eyes were closed as her body trembled and shook from the force of her climax. On and on it went, taking her higher and higher. Holly wasn’t aware of anything around her. She wasn’t aware of the agony etched on Travis’s face as he fell into his own tortured form of ecstasy. She wasn’t even aware of the rumble of thunder echoing from the dark sky above them. She didn’t even feel the heavy drops of rain splattering on her skin as the heavens above opened up to shower them in their own form of rapture.
The only thing she was aware of was the warm splash of his seed jetting deep inside of her. She moaned at the feel of it. It was heaven and she wanted the feeling to never end. “Travis, oh god it feels so good, baby, so good.”
She was trying to catch her breath on the way down from the lofty heights he took her body to. He had proved to her time and time again he was the conductor of her body and she was his delicate instrument he could play with. And once again he performed his role flawlessly and gave her what she had been wanting from him, the feel of his warm release flowing into her, marking her as his woman.
Travis may not have realized he had taken her unprotected, but Holly did, and she had no regrets about it. They may not have openly discussed her use of birth control as a couple. She was, however, covered by being on the pill. So in a way she had ended up protecting him tonight.
He may have only temporarily marked her body with his lovemaking and taken her to that forbidden place she could only ever go with him. But could Travis Kane give her his heart as well? That was the silent question that formed on her lips as he slipped from her body. Could he love her? God, she sure hoped so. The not knowing was the part that was playing on her mind and destroying her emotions.
When Travis stepped inside to grab a warm cloth to clean her up with, Holly gazed out into the darkness and wondered what she was meant to do now. Should she tell him what was in her heart or keep on denying her feelings totally to protect herself from his possible rejection? After all, she had rejected him numerous times in the past. It was only fair that he had a chance to do the same to her, wasn’t it?
Chapter Seventeen
Holly lay awake in Travis’s arms the following morning staring down at the words engraved on the back of the watch he had given her. “Oceans may separate us, distance may come between us, but you’ll always be my sweet darlin’.” He had given her the watch late last night in bed right after he made love to her again. It was also the reason for his errand late yesterday afternoon. He had wanted to get the back of the watch engraved, he had told her.
She slid a glance over his sleeping form before lifting her gaze to the window where the curtains were only partially drawn in the oversized bedroom, giving her an unspoiled view of the sun rising high in the late morning. Mindlessly she ran her fingers across the top of the diamond-encrusted watch. His farewell gift to her he had told her when he gave it to her. “It’s not an early Christmas gift, Holly. It’s a remember us, gift.”
Even now, Holly could feel the swell of emotion rising in her throat just from remembering those sweet words he had whispered into her ear last night. Travis Kane might not be the most romantic man in the world. He was more into dominating and commanding a woman than sweeping her off her feet with romantic gestures. However, last night he had swept her right off her feet, and then rocked her world when he took her to bed and made love to her. Now, Holly was left dealing with the ramifications of all of it. She found herself contemplating this morning whether Travis was even aware he had taken her twice without protection. She had no regrets over it, none whatsoever. Nonetheless, she couldn’t say the same for him.
What if he did regret his impatient actions and felt remorse for it, even? That was something she hoped, in the light of day, he never felt. Holly didn’t want Travis to feel guilty or sorry for taking her in such a wild and untamed way. What she loved about him most was that dangerous side of his as it brought out her own living-on-the-edge kind of side.
He was going to break her heart for sure.
Holly could already feel the fractures forming the more time she spent with him. How in the world was she ever going to get over him? He had practically destroyed her for any other male on the planet and now thousands of miles and time was going to separate them. Just like the inscribing on the watch stated, “Oceans may separate us, distance may come between us,” and how true those words were and would be. There was no cure for a broken heart, just time, and she would have plenty of that up her sleeve in London.
A small whimper fell from her lips when she realised she would have to see good-bye to him soon. She wasn’t ready to let him go yet. She wasn’t re
ady to utter the words, “Good-bye, Travis Kane” to him and didn’t think she ever would be.
What in the hell was she going to do without him there to make her laugh when she was down, or see that smile of his that made her knees weak every time he gifted it to her? Or when she was lonely and needed to be held and loved who was going to be there for her, when she was thousands of miles away from the man who could provide all that to her and more, so much more. Holly knew she couldn’t back out of the contract she signed for the year-long transfer, but hell, she sure wished she could. She wished she could stay here lying in his arms forever.
Feeling Travis stir awake beneath her, Holly gently rolled over so she was on her side facing him. His chest rose as he took a deep breath in then let it back out. She watched as he lifted a hand to his eyes to rub the sleep away from them. It was such a mundane thing to watch, yet she wanted to commit everything he did to memory. For some dumb reason she wanted to remember his little creature habits and all his morning rituals. Then she would know that he had been real to her and not some a figment of her imagination her mind had come up with.
He was as real as you could get. She smiled briefly when her eyes drifted down the length of his naked torso to where the bedsheet lay tented across his lap. “You like what you see, sweet darlin’?” His gravelly voice drifted over her as he spoke.
Glancing back up at him, Holly smiled slightly even though on the inside her heart hurt and her chest ached. “Are you offering, Mr. Kane?” she whispered to him while ducking her head to take his lips with her own. She caressed her lips over his slowly at first to build up the pleasure and the feel of his moving sensually with hers. He nipped lightly at the corner of her mouth and she returned the favor by doing the same to him. She then cupped his face in both her hands while Travis placed a heavy hand at the back of her head, holding her to him. The fingertips of his other hand glided softly down the length of her spine then travelled just as softly back up it. “Travis,” she moaned against the fullness of his lips.
