by K. R. Haynes
Slowly he manoeuvred her onto her back so he was hovering above her. She felt his hard thigh pressing between her thighs to part them for his entrance. Her legs fell wide around his hips as he tucked the head of his penis into her pussy and ever so gently eased himself inside of her. Her back arched off the bed at the exquisite way he was taking her this morning. His long, hard shaft moved in and out of her in such a manner he managed to scrape the head of his penis against the most sensitive tissues inside her core.
She was totally lost in the haze of passion he was stirring up inside of her. She could feel her emotions coming to a head as her orgasm was brought forth within her. She didn’t want to do anything other than bask in the sensation Travis was driving into her. Her body was writhing beneath his as he drove her higher to that peak she was searching for. She could feel the heat of his larger frame enveloping her and she let herself open up, drawing him deeper into her heart and deeper into her soul. Her release was a bittersweet one when it came. Holly knew she couldn’t let herself feel any more for him than she already did. She had given him more of herself than she had ever planned to. And he took it all without questioning it.
It didn’t bother her that he didn’t question it, what did bother her, though, was that she allowed it to happen. “What are you doing to me, Travis?” Holly hadn’t realized she had whimpered her thoughts out loud until she heard his answering reply. “Just loving you, sweet darlin’, just loving you.”
Holly immediately went still beneath him then shook her head at him in a stubborn gesture. “No, you don’t love me, Travis, I know you don’t.” She tried to roll away from him but he was still buried deep inside of her. Shoving at his chest with her hands trying to get him to move off of her, Holly could feel the tears threatening to fall. And the real kicker was she wasn’t even a crier. She never cried at sappy movies. She had never cried when she split up with her last boyfriend or even when she lost her last job a year ago. It wasn’t in her to cry like a baby. Yet she found herself wanting to do just that, all because he wanted to love her. She knew this would happen. She knew her heart would get tangled up with his and yet she was helpless to stop it and at the same time she didn’t want to stop it. “You can’t love me, Travis, you just can’t. Please, please don’t love me,” she pleaded to him again.
She begged for him to move off of her and reluctantly he slipped out of her and she rolled away to the edge of the bed. She needed distance, plus she didn’t want to see the hurt in his eyes. The same hurt she had put there, all because she was too scared to face his love for her and too afraid of her own love for him. What a goddamn fucking mess.
“No, I will not stop loving you, Holly, and don’t even try to tell me how I fucking feel about you either,” he said to her as he gripped both of her shoulders with his hands, preventing her from slipping away from him and forcing her to hear every one of his words he conveyed to her. “You had to have known how I felt about you. I chased you around the damn office for months, for fuck’s sake. For months I chased you only to have you knock me back time and time again. Did I give up on you because it was becoming too hard to deal with your rejection of me? No, I didn’t. I picked up my shit and carried on because I knew, damn it. I knew that one day I would get into that frozen heart of yours. So don’t you dare sit there and tell me not to fucking love you, Holly, don’t you fucking dare.” Holly cringed at his parting words as he stormed out of the bedroom and slammed the door leading into the bathroom after he entered it. She let herself cry then. She let the tears fall from her eyes and let them slide down her cheeks. She allowed her lower lip to quiver, what she didn’t allow herself to do is acknowledge what Travis had basically said to her. She couldn’t. Damn it, she was leaving in two days’ time, and now he had messed with her head and with her heart with his words. She may have time to fix things between them, but the question was did she want to?
Holly realized then she had only one choice right now and that was to make a quick escape while he showered. It was a gutless move and guilt washed over her as she quickly dressed. She then grabbed her suitcase that was already packed for her flight to London and slipped out of his apartment.
What else was she meant to do? Christ, he knew she was leaving shortly. A year had seemed such a short time when she first signed the contract two months ago. Now, though, it felt like forever and that crushed her heart and made her tears fall even harder. She all but sprinted to the elevator to escape the pain of being in the same room as him.
She had to get away, just go somewhere where he couldn’t reach her. If she could hide from him until she was required at the airport, then she wouldn’t have to face the knowledge that she was leaving her heart behind with him. She wouldn’t have to accept that she had just rejected him for the last time. And she most definitely wouldn’t think about the fact that she just walked away from the only man who could bring out her wicked dark side and showed her how enthralling playing with dangerous desires could be.
Chapter Eighteen
After spending both Christmas Eve and Christmas day locked away in a crusty hotel off the interstate, a mile away from the airport, Holly had finally checked herself in at the airline check-in counter. It had then taken her nearly an hour to get through customs, after which she made a little last minute stop at the duty-free store. She wasn’t strong enough not to purchase the cologne Travis used. She wanted a reminder of him, even if that meant it would hurt her to do so.
Now, she found herself seated in an empty waiting area near her boarding gate, reflecting on what could have been. She hadn’t heard from Travis since she slipped out of his apartment the other day, and she hadn’t expected to, either, or at least that’s what her head was telling her. Her heart, however, was saying a whole other story, one she tried hard not to listen to. She knew it was a mistake to leave the country without even saying good-bye to him. In her heart of hearts she understood that not mending the foundations of their friendship was a huge mistake on her behalf.
But if she had to say those words to him, if she offered up an apology to him, she was liable to end up a blubbering mess at his feet. She had already spent the last two days crying her eyes out over the way she left him. Without even a word to him, she had slipped quietly out of his apartment and out of his life for good. Was she punishing herself or him with her actions? At this point in time, Holly wasn’t sure if her actions hadn’t ended up hurting both of them in the end.
She was at the end of the road now, about to head off into the sunset with a broken heart instead of the man she loved, loving her just her like he said he was. How had the most remarkable weeks of her life ended so horribly wrong? This thing between her and Travis Kane was meant to be a way for her to experience being in his arms while he loved her body and not her heart. Then he went and turned the tables on her before she knew it.
He hadn’t been far from the truth either when he told her she had a frozen heart, after all she did. Holly had closed herself off from feeling emotions and from letting anyone into her heart. If she was frozen then she couldn’t get hurt or disappointed. “And look how that worked out for you?” she muttered to herself. Holding her head in her hands, she had to try to find a way to make this right. She had at least an hour before she had to board the plane bound for London.
Shit, she had only an hour and then she was leaving him for a whole fucking year. She wasn’t just leaving New York behind her. And she wasn’t just leaving the only country she had lived in all her life in her wake, as all that would be waiting for her when she arrived back home. No, Holly was in fact leaving him behind, for good. She was leaving Travis Kane behind and it hurt her more than she had ever wanted it to.
How was she meant to fix this between them in such a short amount of time? She couldn’t go and see him—it would take too long—and e-mailing him was way too impersonal and Travis deserved better than that from her. Glancing down at the watch wrapped around her wrist, a gift from him to her, she checked the time. Seven o’clock.
Travis should be home from the office by now which meant she could call him and make amends over the phone. It was still a little impersonal, but it was all she had to work with right at this moment.
Rising to her feet, she pulled her mobile free from her purse and slid her fingers over the screen then brought up his contact number. Holding the phone up to her ear as it began dialling Holly could hear someone calling out her name in the distance. Turning slowly around to the voice, she was blown away to see Travis standing just yards away from where she stood. “Travis? I was just trying to call you. What are you doing here?”
“I couldn’t let you fly halfway around the fucking world without telling you this.” He closed the distance between them. Holly couldn’t move. Suddenly her feet felt like they had been set in concrete. She watched as his hands shook as they rose up to cup her face. She closed her eyes at the feel of his thumbs brushing over her cheekbones. A tear, a single tear broke free from her eyes and rolled down her cheek. She didn’t deserve his tenderness or even his forgiveness. She had been so cruel to him, leaving him the way she did when he had laid his heart on the line to her. And what did she go and do with it when he had done it? She stomped all over it then walked out the door without a word.
God, she had been such a fool. No more, she would not let herself be denied the one thing she had wanted ever since the first time she saw him. Travis Kane. She wanted him and only him.
He kissed her forehead then said to her, “I love you, Holly, that’s what I came here to tell you.”
“Travis...”
“Shh, just listen to me, darlin’, let me tell you what I came to tell you. After all it cost me a few thousand dollars for the ticket I just purchased to see you, so at least give me a minute to explain.”
Holly nodded her head for him to continue on, too shocked at seeing him there to do anything else. “I have been in love with you since that first time you knocked back my offer for a date. I knew it would only be a matter of time before I made you mine. Yes, it took a little longer than I had anticipated. So what? I love you and, well, shit. That’s why I’m here. My sweet, sweet darlin’ Holly, I just couldn’t let you go with the way things were left between us.” He sipped her lips lightly then told her, “You can hate me or you can love me, Holly, but the decision is in your hands now, not mine.” He kissed the top of her head one last time then turned to walk away from her. What the hell?
“Travis?” she shouted to his back. He stopped but didn’t turn around. “Why didn’t you come and tell me this before now? Why didn’t you go all cavemen like on me and drag me back to your cave after I left you?”
“Because I knew you needed the space. So I gave it to you.”
Simple enough answer, so why did it leave her so unsatisfied then? She took the few steps needed to close the distance between him and her. Then she stepped around him so she could see into his eyes. The love she could see glowing in his amber orbs melted her heart and she began to cry. “Oh god, you do love me,” she blubbered to him, “and now I’m leaving.”
“You’re leaving, but not forever,” he reminded her.
“It’s a year a whole damn year, Trav. Twelve long, lonely months to be precise. What part of that don’t you understand?”
“So what, Holly? It’s not the end of the world. We’ve both got four weeks annual leave owed to both of us, which we can use to fly to see each other. There’s a little thing called the internet, you may have heard of it. It allows us to e-mail each other.”
She punched him in the arm then and told him to shut up.
“Oh, and I’m definitely putting in my vote for lots of sexy video calls from you, too.”
She gave him a damp, tear-stained smile then while saying to him, “Mr. Kane! How very raunchy of you to suggest such a thing like that to sweet little ole me. You know I’m not that kind of girl.”
“Nope, that’s because you’re my girl, Holly. You’ll always be my girl, even across a big fucking ocean and halfway around the damn world you will always be mine. And I do mean always. It has only ever been you, Holly. You will always be my sweet, sweet darlin’ girl and nothing will ever change that for me. You’re mine, end of story.”
“You're such a sweet talker, Mr. Kane. I never knew this about you before now. I like it, I like it very much.”
“Enough with the Mr. Kane stuff already. Now answer me this one important question, darlin’, do you love me?”
“Now shouldn’t the question be ‘do you love me enough to wait for me?’” she said with a wink.
He growled at her. “I love you more than damn words or time could say. I’ll wait for you to hightail it back to the States where you belong. If that means I get a bad case of blue balls while I’m waiting for you to get that cute little butt back to me, then so be it. I love you, Holly. No amount of distance, time, or space will ever change it. Ever.”
Hearing the airline announce that they were starting to board her flight, Holly took a deep breath and wiped away her tears. Now or never she told herself. Running her thumb over his lips, lips she would miss every day and every night she was apart from them. She stared up into his eyes so he could see the truth to her words. “I love you, Travis Kane, and I promise to wait for you. I’ll always wait for you.”
“Good,” he whispered to her. He then dipped his head and took her lips with his. His kiss sealed her heart to his. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing him in closer to her. Her lips parted when he swiped his tongue over the seam of them, a silent plea to let him inside. This time, however, Holly was aware that she wasn’t just letting him into her mouth to duel with her tongue. She was also letting him into her heart forever. Her heart had always been a place she had kept hidden from everyone else, except to Travis. There was no hiding anything when it came to him.
Travis Kane had a knack for finding things tucked away, discovering those secret places she didn’t share with anyone else. Why? Because he was Travis Kane, that’s why, the man who loved her and her dark desires, too. And she wouldn’t have it any other way. She might be about to step onto a plane and fly to a country she knew little about, but in her heart she at least felt his love for her and kept it there in a safe place for him, just like he held her love for him in a safe place.
As she kissed his lips for the last time, Holly daringly slipped a hand between their entwined bodies to cup his hardening length in her hand. “Time to go,” she told him. She didn’t want to leave, not now, but she had signed a contract and there was no going back on it. And like he said, there was the internet and phone calls, plus they had at least eight weeks annual leave between them to be able to see each other with. And money wasn’t an issue either, thank god. “Who knows, maybe you can swing by London on some fake business trips to come and see me,” she suggested to him, snagging his bottom lip with her teeth one last time.
“You know, that sounds like a mighty fine idea to me. And when I arrive, you will be too flat on your back to go to work. Damn shame about that.” They both laughed as they kissed one last time.
“See ya soon, Trav.”
“See ya soon, my sweet darlin’. And call me as soon as you arrive. I don’t care what time of the day or night it is. I won’t be sleeping any time soon until I hear that sweet voice of yours I love so much.”
“Is that the only thing you love about me, Mr. Kane?” she said over her shoulder as she lined up at the gate to board the plane.
He answered, “No, Miss Shepherd, it’s not the only thing I love about you. Call me and I’ll tell you all about the best parts I love about you.”
She smiled at him and mouthed, “Bye, Mr. Kane.”
“Enough with the ‘Mr. Kane’ shit, Holly,” he warned her with a rough growl. “If you say it again, I’ll come to London and spank you. Now go get on that plane so you can hurry back home, before I make a complete fool of myself and throw you over my shoulder and drag you out of here.”
Holly dropped her carry-on bags to the floor a
nd ran over to him as soon as the words left his lips. She wrapped herself tightly around him and was grateful that he reacted quickly enough to catch her in his arms. “Whoa, what’s all this? I thought we just said good-bye, darlin’.”
Peppering his face with soft little kisses, Holly whispered ever so quietly to him. “I don’t want to leave you, Travis. You’re the very best thing that has ever happened to me. How can I leave you to fly off into the sunset to a place I know no one in, when my heart will always be here with you?”
“And you’re the very best thing that has happened to me, sweet darlin’.” He smacked her on the ass and then said to her with a gruff voice filled with the same emotions she was feeling. “Now toughen up, darlin’, and get that sexy little butt of yours on that plane.”
For what felt like the first time tonight, Holly spoke from the heart as she untangled her body from his. “I love you, Travis, with all that I am and with everything I have to offer you.”
“I love you too, Holly. Now go or you’ll miss your flight altogether.”
“There are worse things in the world to miss than a plane, Mr. Kane.” Holly turned away from him then and walked back to retrieve her bags from the floor.
“Right, sweet darlin’, be prepared for a little spanking session when I arrive in London. And soon.”
Holly giggled at him as she dried her eyes with the back of her hand. Holding her head up high, ready to embrace her new adventure, and with her man waiting for her to return, she turned to him, gave him a wink and blew him a kiss then walked down the hall with all the other boarding passengers. She could hear his answering growl, even over the noise of the airport. It made her all the more eager to get to London so she could tease him with a sexy video call, just like he asked her to do. And she had the perfect little lacy number stowed away in her suitcase guaranteed to stir more than just his heart.
