Close to Heart

by T. J. Kline

  Her eyes fluttered open but, rather than the hesitancy that usually filled them, her gaze was dark and enticing, drawing him closer. She blinked, trying to wake as her fingers came up and brushed the stubble on his jaw.

  “You look tired,” she murmured sleepily.

  Justin didn’t know why he did it, didn’t even remember consciously deciding to do it, but when he dipped his head and brushed his lips against hers, reality disappeared. His fingers curved around the back of her neck, his thumb brushing over the elegant hollow of her cheek. His tongue slid over her lower lip and she gasped, allowing him access to the sweet heat of her mouth. She sighed into him, letting her fingers curve around the back of his head, bringing him closer. He breathed her in, her scent surrounding him, making every part of him harden with need. He wanted nothing more than to slide onto the bed with her, continue exploring her mouth, and to let his hands wander over her body.

  She’s married.

  The reality of the situation slammed into him. Guilt assailed him. He wanted to ignore the logical part of his brain as long as possible, but it wasn’t going to work. He was kissing another man’s wife, a woman who was going to have that man’s child. And she was kissing him back.

  He’d seen enough tabloids to know Hollywood marriages weren’t like regular ones, but he placed values on vows made between a man and wife. At least he thought he did. This wasn’t the man he was. He prided himself on his control and honor. At least, he had until Alyssa had come around.

  His eyes fell on her left hand. The diamond was gone. “Did you lose something?” he asked.

  She awkwardly pressed herself into a sitting position and pulled her hand from his grasp, cupping her other fingers around her left hand. “I took it off to clean your house,” she pointed out.

  “I guess that makes it okay then.”

  It was a dick thing to say, and he regretted the words as soon as they left his lips. His mother would have slapped the back of his head if she’d heard him say something like that. He saw the anger flash over her face so briefly he almost missed it before she hid behind her dismay. Good, if she was angry with him, there was far less chance of this happening again.

  He saw irritation flash in her emerald eyes again, but this time she didn’t bother to hide it as she rose from the bed and brushed past him. “You kissed me.”

  He wanted to deny it, to push the blame back onto her shoulders, but she was right. He’d been the one to initiate the kiss. She’d been sleeping and he practically assaulted her. She’d simply reciprocated it instead of slapping him as he deserved. In fact, she hadn’t done anything wrong. It wasn’t her fault that he could still feel the desire for her pulsing through his veins, causing his body to throb and burn with yearning. Justin stood, stuffing his hands into his pockets, unsure what to say. He’d never felt completely defenseless with a woman before and he wasn’t sure why he did now, but he couldn’t seem to fix the disconnect between his body and his brain when he was around her.

  Justin forced himself to be realistic. She wasn’t interested in him. It was just a kiss. He couldn’t help the corner of his mouth from quirking upward, in spite of her anger at him.

  “I was just waking you up. I thought that’s how you princesses liked it.”

  She frowned, letting her gaze slide over him. “I don’t remember Disney ever having a jackass in one of their movies.”

  Justin laughed. He’d seen her determined and stubborn, but this was the first bit of fire she’d shown, and it surprised him. He feigned a pained expression as he clasped his hands over his heart. “Ouch! You wound me, m’lady.”

  She blushed, her cheeks turning bright red, and quickly looked away. She had no idea how adorable her reaction was. It was a damn shame she was married.

  Justin was having a hard time remembering the fact that she was here for only a few days, that this was no more than a rest stop until her car was fixed. She was the first woman he could remember who made him question his future, to make him feel as if what he had wasn’t enough.

  “I’m sorry,” she apologized quickly, and he saw the wariness creep back into her eyes before she looked at the floor.

  “Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything.” Justin chuckled. “I am being a jackass. No use denying it.” He saw the corner of her lips twitch as if she was trying to keep from smiling. “You need to learn to lighten up, Alyssa.”

  Justin tucked his hands into the pockets of his jeans and shrugged, tipping his head to the side. “Thanks for cleaning the house, but you don’t need to. I doubt you’re supposed to be doing that much work in your condition. I thought you were going to relax.”

  She didn’t meet his gaze. “I guess I’m just nesting.”

  “You’re not going to go and give birth on me, are you?” he asked, eyeing her stomach. “I mean, puppies, I can do. Babies, not so much.”

  She laughed at his discomfort, her emerald gaze playful as it met his again. “I’ve got at least another four weeks.” Justin couldn’t help the dubious look that he cast her direction. “I swear,” she promised. “At my visit last week, the doctor said I had four to six weeks, maybe more.”

  Justin couldn’t help but feel a moment of disappointment, but he quickly thrust it aside. She would be long gone by the time she delivered.

  She tipped her head to one side and grinned at him playfully, her hand resting on the side of her belly. “Don’t worry, Doc. I wouldn’t dream of imposing on you to deliver puppies and a baby.”

  Chapter Six

  JUSTIN HAD INSISTED she relax while he fixed them lunch, and with her back aching the way it was from all the cleaning she’d done, she was inclined to agree. Not that she’d admit to Justin he might be right after his “princess” comment. She’d gone out of her way to avoid that Hollywood, pretentious-actress persona. Not to mention that she’d just cleaned the man’s house. Just because he readily admitted he was being a jackass didn’t lessen her annoyance. Unfortunately, the fact that he acted like one didn’t stop the warmth from spreading through her veins at the thought of that kiss either. Alyssa wondered if she wasn’t just doomed to be attracted to jerks. She tried to push the thought aside. Being attracted to anyone right now was the last thing she needed.

  Alyssa grabbed Justin’s cordless phone, carrying it into the bedroom and closing the door behind her as she rubbed at her lower back. She was beginning to worry she might have overexerted herself a bit. As she started to punch in Franklin’s office number, she paused, feeling apprehensive. It had been a long time since she’d talked to Franklin without Elijah looking over her shoulder. She smiled broadly, realizing that she didn’t need to hide their friendship any longer, a fact that brought her immeasurable relief.

  Franklin was one of the smartest people she’d ever known, but more than anything else, he was one of the only people she completely trusted. He’d always had her best interest at heart, even when other people wanted to stroke her ego at the height of her career or impress Elijah. Franklin had always told her what she needed to hear, not necessarily what she wanted to hear, even after Elijah forbid her to associate with him. That made all the difference to her now.

  “Hey, Aly!” Franklin answered. “Elijah doesn’t cut you enough slack to give me a call. To what do I owe the honor?”

  He might be teasing, but he was too close to the truth. She’d known Franklin since getting her first job, a dish soap commercial, when he’d still been a law student. He’d stuck by her, even after Elijah had fired him as their attorney, and had been trying to convince her for years that Elijah wasn’t the man he pretended to be. She must have believed him at some level, enough to sneak behind Elijah’s back to get back in touch with Franklin last year, a few months before she got pregnant. She wished now that she would have listened to him sooner.

  “You were right about Elijah. He kicked me out, Franklin. Lillian Byrne told me they’ve been having an affair for the last four years. When I told him he had to stop sleeping around or give me a divorce
, he told me to leave.”

  The words spilled from her like poison she had to purge. She hadn’t told anyone about Elijah’s cheating. Getting it out, in spite of the ache it caused to actually say the words, felt like releasing an abscess—painful relief.

  “That son of a bitch!” Franklin spit the words into the receiver. “He’d be nothing without you. Please tell me you made him sign a prenup like you promised me you would.”

  Alyssa didn’t say anything. She couldn’t explain to Franklin how even the suggestion of a prenuptial agreement had been enough to send Elijah into a tailspin of accusations that she didn’t love him enough to trust him. He’d pointed out how he hadn’t asked her to sign one. Of course, he had just begun his career as an agent and barely had a dime to his name. In the end, to prove how much faith she had in him, to prove her love and trust in him, she’d torn up the document. She’d been so naïve.

  Her silence gave him the only answer he needed. “Aw, Aly!”

  “I need to know what I can do now, at least when it comes to taking care of the baby.” She didn’t want to talk about all the mistakes she had made in her marriage. She needed to look forward, not behind.

  She glanced toward the door and lowered her voice. She didn’t want Justin to overhear her side of the conversation. She would explain the situation to him once she and Franklin had laid out her options and had made some decisions about her future.

  “I guess that depends on what you’re hoping to accomplish. Now that you’re divorcing that no-good bastard, you’ll want to ask for alimony and child support, but—”

  It hurt to hear it put so bluntly, but it also made her realize how much Elijah had changed her over the past six years. She was afraid to ask Elijah for anything, even though she deserved both. When had she turned into a weak, insecure coward? Where was the young woman who’d loaded up her car and set off alone to build her dream career, the woman who hadn’t taken no for an answer? When had she begun to hide inside herself, letting Elijah’s demands dictate her destiny? Why was she still questioning her instincts?

  “Franklin, I haven’t decided . . . ”

  “What haven’t you decided?” When she didn’t answer right away, she heard him sigh heavily into the receiver. “Are you telling me you’re not divorcing him? The man has been sleeping around on you for who knows how long, he’s used you to build a career for himself while he ruined yours, and now he’s kicked you out? What more is it going to take for you to wake up?”

  Her hand ran over the curve of her belly. This wasn’t just about her now. “You’re not wrong, Franklin, but we are having a baby. I have to think about what’s best for him and put his needs first.”

  “Women have babies alone all the time, Aly. You don’t need Elijah; you never have. Besides, you’ll have me. I’m going to draw up divorce papers for you,” he insisted, ignoring her protest. “We don’t have to file them if you decide you don’t want to, but at least look at them and think about it. Where are you staying? I’ll bring them by for you.”

  There was a quiet rap of knuckles on the bedroom door. “Alyssa? Lunch is ready.”

  “Is that him?” Franklin demanded. “I’ll kill him with my bare hands.”

  “No,” she whispered before covering the mouthpiece of the receiver. “I’ll be right there,” she called to Justin. “Franklin, I just need you to lay out my options. I need to know every scenario. Then I can decide what’s best for me and the baby. I have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

  “Wait, where are you?”

  “I got in a small car accident and I—”

  “What? Are you okay? Have you been seen by a doctor? Did you—”

  “I’m fine, the baby is fine. Franklin, I have to go. Just look into things for me, please. You’re the only person I can trust. And keep it quiet, because no one else knows anything. I don’t want this to turn into a media exposé before I make any decisions.”

  Alyssa hung up before Franklin could ask any more questions and made her way down the hall to where Justin waited, feeling as if she was carrying too many burdens on her shoulders. Until calling Franklin, she’d been avoiding facing the reality of her situation—her marriage was over and she was on her own. There was no turning back. The only real decision left to make was what she would ask for in the divorce, for her and their child. It was enough to deal with finding out her husband was cheating on her, had been for almost the entirety of their marriage, but to have him cast her and their child aside, to know the apathy he felt for their child, hurt too much to bear.

  “Would you like tea or water?” Justin asked as she came into the kitchen. Two sub sandwiches sat on the table as he opened the refrigerator. When she didn’t answer, he looked back at her over his shoulder. “You okay?”

  “I’m fine, I just . . . ”

  She was tired of keeping secrets, but she wasn’t sure how much she could tell Justin. She didn’t know him, not really. He turned toward her as if waiting for her to say more, his eyes seeking hers, and she imagined she could see empathy in them.

  “Things sounded a little heated in there for a minute.”

  If he thought that was heated, he would have been shocked to hear Elijah when he got started about how she didn’t want him to be successful just because she dared to question his decision to sign on to represent yet another new young actress. She suspected, now, he’d wanted to do far more than “represent” them, but she couldn’t prove it. And, after her last confrontation with him, he’d probably throw it in her face just to hurt her.

  Justin had been kind to her, rescuing her and giving her a place to stay. She knew he didn’t really need her to work in the clinic and was just using it as a way to help her out. He was more tender than Elijah had ever been with her, treating her like a porcelain doll that might break.

  Other than that kiss.

  Just the thought of his kiss made her body hum to life. The mere brush of his lips against hers had set her body aflame, making her want to pull him down onto the bed with her. His touch made her forget the years with Elijah, the emotional turmoil he caused, the pain of his rejection, making her wonder how real her marriage to Elijah had actually been, if there had ever been any passion in it. She slid into the chair at the table and buried her face in her palms, trying to stop the tears from burning her eyes.

  “Hey.” Justin moved to the chair beside her. “It can’t be that bad.”

  Alyssa looked up at him, trying to keep the tears at bay. “Are you kidding?” She couldn’t help the bubble of irrational laughter that fell from her lips. “I’m eight months pregnant and I just found out my husband has been sleeping with every woman in Beverly Hills for over half of our marriage. Not to mention that I have no money, no career, and he kicked me out of our house.” She threw up her hands and rose to pace the kitchen as the truth fell from her lips unbidden. “I have nothing. Even that car is in Elijah’s name.”

  She realized she’d just told him far more than she’d intended.

  “Was that who you were talking to?”

  “No, I called my friend. He’s a lawyer.” She slid her hand over the top of her stomach. “I wanted to find out my options.”

  “And?”

  “He suggests I ‘divorce the no-good bastard.’ ”

  “I have to agree.”

  Alyssa faced him, running her hand over the side of her stomach as her baby kicked against her hand. “I wish it were that easy, trust me. But how am I supposed to support us, where are we going to stay? I was on my way to my parents’ house last night after he kicked me out.”

  Justin rose and moved toward her. His hands cupped her face gently, tipping her gaze up to meet his eyes. “Your husband is an idiot. He has no idea what he’s giving up.”

  Her parched heart soaked up his words. After listening to Elijah’s criticisms for so many years, it was like rain on a desert plain.

  “You’re welcome to stay here as long as you need to. That’s probably the only way I can help you.”
He smiled and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “Unless you want me to kick his ass? I’d be happy to do that for you.”

  She laughed quietly. “I appreciate the offer, but that’s probably not in your best interest. I don’t have the money to bail you out of jail.”

  The dimple cut into his cheek as he gave her a lopsided smile. “Then I guess the ass-kicking is going to have to wait.”

  Alyssa couldn’t look away from his hypnotic blue gaze. He saw her, really saw the woman inside. He didn’t see her as a movie star. He looked past that to the hurting woman beneath. His nearness seemed to demolish every protective barrier she’d erected over the past six years. He made her feel wanted and worthy.

  Alyssa didn’t think about what she was doing as she slid her hands to the nape of his neck, pulling him toward her, their mouths exploring, seeking. Justin’s kiss was tender, far gentler than she wanted him to be. Her fingers dug into the hard muscles of his shoulders and he responded. His hands slid into her hair, while his tongue teased hers, tasting her, his teeth nipping at the corner of her full lips.

  “Oh! Um, Justin . . . ” Bailey’s voice broke through the sound of their rapid breathing and she came to a skidding halt just inside the kitchen door. Alyssa tried to jump backward, but Justin held her close, leaning his forehead against hers as she tried to control the wild racing of her pulse.

  “What, Bailey?” Justin growled, his voice husky as his breath fanned over her face.

  Alyssa looked up at Justin through thick lashes and bit her lip nervously. She couldn’t believe she’d just done that. The thought of kissing him again warmed long-cold places in her body and made her knees weak. A shiver of anticipation traveled across her shoulders and down her back, making goose bumps rise on her arms.

  “It’s the runt.”

  Justin groaned quietly, his hands falling to her waist as he leaned close to her ear and whispered, “You need to stop looking at me that way if I’m supposed to be able to focus. I’m going to see what’s going on with this little guy and then we’ll talk about this some more, okay?”