“That bastard,” I commented.
“My thoughts exactly,” agreed General Daly. “I am busting Lopez down to captain, and giving him back to you. Make his life miserable.”
“Yes, sir,” I replied. “You can count on that.”
“I just got back from lunch at Taco Bell,” added General Daly. “Those Blue Lizards are mighty tasty. Did you know they’re now being exported to Old Earth? Who would have thought that road kill could be so good?”
“Yes, sir.”
“We arrested most of the geologists responsible for the Breeze Mining fraud,” advised General Daly. “With Vince Canada dead, the only conspirator left on New Colorado is a geologist named Snerdley Eugene Potts. He’s supposed to still be in Cemetery City. Find Potts.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Speaking of missing people, the USGF National Park Service is complaining that one of their rangers, his name is Butler, went missing after logging in that he had a meeting with you, and was going to confront scorpion poachers. Do you remember Butler?”
“Yes, sir,” I said. “I met Butler, a fine young man. I haven’t seen him since he left my office for the field.” “Check with the scorpions,” ordered General Daly. “Maybe they know where Butler went.” “Yes, sir.” “One last thing. You won’t be bombed from space again. Our space fleet confronted the spiders, and forced them to back off.” “Thank you very much, sir,” I replied. “Air strikes are very unnerving.” “That’s about all I have from Headquarters,” concluded General Daly. “Keep up the good work!”
* * * * *
Captain Lopez reported for duty, not too happy. Too bad for him.
“At least you weren’t busted down to private,” I commented. “Those captain bars look good on you, much better than on me. It’s just like old times.”
“Bendaho,” replied Captain Lopez. “I didn’t do anything wrong! Anyone can make a mistake. It was the intelligence information that was faulty.”
“General Daly says you made a lot of money selling Breeze Mining stock just before the crash,” I replied. “He’s real upset.”
“So what?” asked Captain Lopez. “You made even more money buying puts before the crash. Is Daly giving you the business? No! You gringos stick together, like usual.”
“It gets worse,” I added. “I am appointing you Legion Special Liaison to the Scorpion City National Guard.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” asked Captain Lopez, suspicious.
“It means take your gear and hike north to the perimeter. Take a tent, too. You will be permanently camping with the scorpions. Don’t worry, I’ll send human food as soon as possible. We have plenty of MREs.”
“Don’t bother,” advised Captain Lopez, angrily. “I’ll have my food catered and delivered.” “Whatever. Stay out there on guard duty, making us safe. Do not come to town, and do not start any wars. Understand?” “Perfectly,” answered Captain Lopez, grabbing his duffle. “After all we’ve been through, you can do this to me?” “I felt bad at first,” I replied, sincerely. “But I got over it. Consider it payback. Adios, amigo.”
* * * * *
Captain Lopez set up a tent next to one of the small scorpion camps. A scorpion sergeant approached to talk.
“Sir, are you lost?” asked the scorpion sergeant. “The human sector is down the hill.”
“Ask another stupid question, and I will shoot you between your eight beady eyes,” replied Captain Lopez, continuing to unpack. “Make yourself useful. Secure those ropes to the tent.”
The scorpion sergeant hesitated, then grabbed a rope. “Sir, is there anything else I can do to make your stay with us more comfortable?”
“I don’t suppose you have an air mattress?” asked Captain Lopez.
“No, sir,” answered the scorpion sergeant. “We sleep just below the sand. It’s warmer at night, cooler during the day.”
Captain Lopez noticed a baseball type cap on the ground next to his supplies. It had a USGF Park Service logo on it. “What is this?”
“Just more human trash,” replied the scorpion sergeant. “It blows in and out on the desert wind.”
“Let me make something clear,” said Captain Lopez, menacingly. “I did not just blow in on the wind. I am here to stay, so don’t get any funny ideas about getting rid of me, or of having me for a midnight snack. I’ve fought and served with you scorpions, and I will not put up with your scheming and nonsense. I will inspect your positions and troops, shortly. Afterwards, I will present myself to your commanding officer.”
“Yes, sir!” replied the scorpion sergeant.
Lopez’s stomach growled. He called Pizza Hut and ordered an extra large sausage pizza, salad, and coke.
“I am sorry,” replied the manager at Pizza Hut. “The computer says your assets have been frozen by the FBI, pending a Securities Exchange Commission investigation. Do you have another card?”
Lopez disconnected. Turning to the scorpion sergeant, he asked, “Do you have anything to eat other than scorpion food and Blue Lizard?”
“No, sir. We live off the land.”
back to top
Chapter 10
Pepper sent Corporal Wayne a text message. ‘Dear John: Sorry I had to suddenly leave. I just follow orders. I hope you understand. Meet me at the main gate. I still love you. Ask Camacho if he thinks the Lakers are going to beat the spread over Houston. Camacho won’t answer my emails. He holds a grudge. Very unprofessional, but expected from someone who is dead. Hugs and kisses. Love, Pepper.’
* * * * *
I met the spider commander at Guido’s guard shack as part of our ongoing dialogue to not start a war. Pepper and Corporal Wayne were already there, hugging and kissing.
“It’s spider love,” commented Guido. “They should get a room.” “That spectacle turns my stomach,” added the spider commander. “He’s a legionnaire! Pepper, have you no manners?” “Oh blow it out your poop chute, you old coot!” replied Pepper. The spider commander stiffened, but said nothing. We went inside for privacy. “Are you going to let her get away with that?” I asked. “She is under your command.” “Pepper is my niece,” advised the spider commander, slumping in a chair. “It would irritate my wife if I had her shot. Besides, she is a good marine when not out kissing legionnaires in public.”
“She’s also a spy for the Intelligentsia,” I added. “And a good one.”
“That too,” agreed the spider commander. “Can you transfer Corporal Wayne to a galaxy far. far away? I cannot handle a legionnaire in the family.”
“No. It could be worse. He could be human.” “That would be bad,” conceded the spider commander. “Did you know Corporal Wayne is rich? He is a multi-millionaire, and quite the investor.” “Oh, really?” asked the spider commander, looking out the guard shack window and examining Corporal Wayne in a new light. “I always considered Wayne to be a bright, fine looking fellow. They make a nice couple. But, that is not why I am here meeting you today. It is common knowledge there are no rare metals in the Blue Rock Valley. When will the Legion be leaving?”
“We cannot leave the National Cemetery unguarded,” I advised.
“The cemetery is a ruse to disguise illegal mining,” responded the spider commander, sharply. “I might allow a token guard force, but the situation has changed. You intentionally trespass. You must leave, and take your scorpion pets with you!”
“It won’t happen. The cemetery is a reality now, and we will not leave our dead.”
“I will evict you by force if necessary,” threatened the spider commander.
“Then the cemetery will be enlarged to include your marines, too. Official negotiations may still resolve this mess. If ordered to leave, I will. In the meantime, how about I buy you a drink at the Blue Lizard Tavern? I warn you, if American blood is shed defending Cemetery City, humanity will stay a thousand years. I swear it.”
* * * * *
Captain Lopez met with Scorpion City National Guard Commander Colonel Desert-Sti
ng. They already knew each other from deployment in Scorpion City.
“My mission as liaison officer is to make sure Legion and National Guard goals are the same,” advised Captain Lopez. “You will take no independent action against the spiders without my permission.”
“My mission as commander of the Scorpion City National Guard is to kill as many spiders as possible wherever and whenever I please,” advised Colonel Desert-Sting. “The Scorpion Nation is still at war with the Arthropodan Empire.”
“Now, see here, that’s exactly what I am talking about,” replied Captain Lopez. “We aren’t on the same page. There is no ‘Scorpion Nation.’ Scorpion City is part of the United States Galactic Federation. The National Guard is attached to and subordinate to the Legion. We both are at peace with the Empire.”
“Don’t you come in here telling me how to run my command!” hissed Colonel Desert-Sting. “Liaison officer? Bullshit. You screwed up, so Czerinski stuck you out here on the perimeter. I will do as I please, and you would be wise to mind your manners, human.”
Captain Lopez drew his pistol, aiming at Desert-Sting’s ugly face. Other scorpions pointed their rifles at Lopez. “It is you who makes threats,” advised Captain Lopez. “How about we settle this now?” “I gave you sound advice,” replied Colonel Desert-Sting, nervously. “You are dismissed.” “I want command of B-Company,” advised Captain Lopez, holstering his pistol. “I am already living with you scorpions. B-Company is a good fit. You can have A-Company.”
“You are so generous,” replied Colonel Desert-Sting. “Denied! Both companies already have commanders who would be upset about being relieved by a human. Besides, I am doing you a favor. Scorpions would never submit to your command. You would be stung to death within the week. I am surprised you are still alive now. I hear you have been sleeping out along the fence line?”
“I insist on a command,” demanded Captain Lopez. “No. That’s final!” “Then I’ll seize command of B-Company,” advised Captain Lopez. “Lots of luck with that,” commented Colonel Desert-Sting. “Go ahead and try. You will be just one more fool claimed by the desert. The winds uncover the white parched bones of fools every day.”
Captain Lopez abruptly saluted and left the command tent. Lopez’s scorpion sergeant walked out with him.
“I do not believe you actually pointed a pistol at Desert-Sting and lived to tell about it,” commented the scorpion sergeant. “He will never forgive your insult. Watch your back.”
“Whatever,” replied Lopez. “What’s for dinner?” “Blue Lizard.” “Do we have any coffee? I’ve got a headache.” “What is coffee?” asked the scorpion sergeant. “It has been so long, I have forgotten. Coffee is something guardsmen only dream about.”
“Can I borrow ten dollars?” asked Captain Lopez. “I need to go to Starbucks for a triple shot.” “That is a good one, sir,” replied the scorpion sergeant. “There is no money for coffee. You are an odd duck.” “Tonight at dusk, I want a squad of your best commando tunnel rats. We have a special mission for them.” “We?” asked the scorpion sergeant. “I do not dig.” “If you are afraid, fine. I want only volunteers. I want only your best warriors.” “Sir!” said the scorpion sergeant. “I will meet you at dusk with a squad of commandos!”
* * * * *
A freshly dug scorpion tunnel angled up toward its target. Reaching the bottom of a cement foundation, Captain Lopez placed explosive charges, blowing a small hole in the floor of Starbucks Coffee. Scorpion commandos, their faces painted black, rushed through the opening. Linked in a scorpion chain, they stole bags of coffee off the shelves and relayed their bounty to the tunnel. Soon, all of Starbucks was cleaned out. Commandos even stole the espresso machine.
At camp, Captain Lopez and his scorpion sergeant passed out coffee grounds to their guardsmen. Only a small amount was kept in reserve.
“Sir, you are a God,” commented one of the privates. “A human God! Who would have thought that possible?”
“Just make sure no one snitches to your company commander about where all this coffee came from,” replied Captain Lopez. “I don’t like snitches. It’s a human thing.”
“No one would dare,” exclaimed the scorpion private. “We will see to that. It would be a death sentence for anyone that stupid.”
“You think you can buy their loyalty with stolen coffee?” asked the scorpion sergeant, as he brewed a batch. “They have more sense of duty than that.”
“I agree,” replied Captain Lopez. “Only combat will bond us together. Soon.”
* * * * *
Captain Lopez hiked the perimeter fence with his sergeant and trusted squad. Spider guards paralleled their movement. Occasionally a spider guard would wave. As they approached one of the spider bunkers, a spider lieutenant gave them the one-fingered salute and shouted across the border fence, “Hey human pestilence! What are you doing? Out walking your dogs? Oops! I mean your pet scorpions!”
“Fuck you, bendaho!” shouted Captain Lopez, returning a double handed one-fingered salute. “Pinche puta!”
“Fuck you, bendaho!” copied a young scorpion guardsman. Then he turned to the sergeant. “What’s a ‘bendaho’?”
“Shut up,” ordered the scorpion sergeant. “Check your translator. Everyone but you knows what a ‘bendaho’ is. That’s why you are still just a private.”
The private sulked. The translator advised ‘insufficient data on human slang.’ The private whispered to a comrade, “Do you know what a ‘bendaho’ is?”
“Of course,” replied a corporal, checking his translator, and tapping it when it failed to deliver helpful information. “Don’t be silly.”
“Well?” asked the private. “The sergeant said shut up, and he meant it!” snapped the corporal. “Do not ask more stupid questions.” Captain Lopez threw a rock across the fence, striking the spider bunker. “Next time will be a grenade!” he shouted. “You are the bendaho!” shouted back the spider lieutenant. “Whatever that is! You want to fight? Come on over, just you and me!”
“You’re a punk!” shouted Captain Lopez. “You’ll get your chance soon enough!”
“I didn’t think so!” taunted the lieutenant, laughing. “Human pestilence coward!”
* * * * *
At midnight Captain Lopez inspected his commandos, checking their equipment, and applying black camouflage stripes to their faces. Agitated scorpions flicked their tails about in anticipation. Tonight would not be another burglary in town. Tonight they entered the Empire. Tonight they faced combat.
Lopez led his commandos across the border fence to the same spider bunker. They burst in, surprising a spider marine sitting by the door. Stinging the spider to unconsciousness, scorpions seized another spider marine guard inside.
“Where is that rude officer I met earlier today?” asked Captain Lopez, poking a large jagged combat knife under the chin of the still conscious spider marine. “We have unfinished business.”
“You mean the bendaho?” asked the spider. “He sleeps in the back of our truck. What are you going to do to me?”
‘Scorpions eat their captives.” commented Captain Lopez. “You will be a midnight snack.” “No! Please not that! I have a wife and family! See all my kids!” The spider held out a billfold full of photos. “You think you are special?” asked Captain Lopez, contemptuously slapping the wallet aside. “You’re nothing!” Captain Lopez nodded to his sergeant, who struck the spider’s head with a rifle butt. The spider slumped to the ground, still pleading. Other scorpion commandos rushed to the truck and seized the spider officer and an aide. After a brief scuffle, the two spiders were bound and carried across the border.
“What will become of our lieutenant?” asked the injured spider marine, still cowering on the bunker floor.
Captain Lopez kicked the spider, then dragged him to his feet. “Worry about your own fate, spider!” warned Captain Lopez. “It’s dinner time!”
“No please!” “You think I should spare you?” asked Captain
Lopez. “Why? I’m so hungry!” “I can be useful!” replied the spider, his face and mandibles now covered with blood. “I doubt that,” advised Captain Lopez, loosening his grip. “I will let you live. But know this. I can come back here and take your life anytime I please. It is nothing for me or one of my commandos to slip across the border and strike from the darkness. I can snuff out your life in an instant! Do you believe me?”
“Yes, sir,” answered the spider marine. “Thank you, sir, so very much. My family thanks you, too.”
“You owe me,” whispered Captain Lopez, his face so close to the spider’s face they could feel the heat of each other’s breath. “Do you understand? One day I will come back and collect on that debt. Be certain of that!”
“Yes, sir.”
“After we leave, you will sound an alarm,” ordered Captain Lopez. “You will report bandit tomb raiders attacked your post and fled north. Got that?” Captain Lopez struck the spider again.
“Yes, sir,” replied the spider. “Bandits, tombs, north!”
* * * * *
At camp, Captain Lopez dined with scorpion commandos on roasted Blue Lizard, fried spider, and beer. The celebration lasted until the sun came up. Exhausted, Lopez arranged bedding next to his tent and gazed at the stars. One of those stars is home, he thought to himself. One day, I’ll return to Old Earth a conqueror. See if I don’t! Lopez nodded off.
Cemetery City Page 8
