* * * * *
The spider sergeant signaled to his squad. They gathered their entrenching tools and crept up on the sleeping Lopez. Attacking as one, they pinned Lopez’ arms and legs, while others shoveled sand over him. Soon all but Lopez’ head was buried in sand. The scorpion sergeant loomed over Lopez, holding an entrenching tool menacingly, and laughing.
“Traitorous bugs!” shouted Captain Lopez. “You should all be exterminated! “Punks!”
“No traitors here,” advised the scorpion sergeant. “Your guardsmen could not stand seeing you sleeping above ground, exposed to the elements. They love you, human. Deal with it. They just want you to be comfortable.”
“They show love by assaulting me in my sleep? I’ll kill them all, and you with them!”
“It’s a ritual,” explained the scorpion sergeant. “You are one of us now. You are a fellow warrior, linked by the touch of a chemical bond. They show you affection and loyalty. I am actually jealous. They never once tried to bury me.”
“Next time someone wants to show me loyalty, salute, or kill something,” advised Captain Lopez. “I do not want to be buried again. Dig me out!”
“Yes, sir!” said the scorpion sergeant, immediately digging.
“I’ll forgive them this time,” commented Captain Lopez, now starting to see the humor in it all. These scorpions are insane, he thought. “Listen up! You call yourselves warriors? I’ll tell you what your are! You are conquistadors! You are my conquistadors! Hoorah!”
Scorpions rushed Captain Lopez, lifting him up on their shoulders and parading about camp for all to see. Other scorpions took notice. “You are one bad-ass bendaho, human legionnaire officer!” one shouted. The others all agreed, chanting that Lopez was one of them now.
* * * * *
The spider commander and his Military Intelligence officer personally investigated the site of the bandit attack. They were not happy about the abduction of their marine lieutenant, or of explanations given by the sole witness.
“I read your report of bandits,” advised the spider commander. “What species were these so called bandits?”
“Arthropodan,” answered the private. “They were tomb raiders.”
“Explain to me how your mate was stung by scorpions,” demanded the spider commander. “How do you know the bandits were tomb raiders? Were they carrying artifacts?”
“I was hit on the head and left for dead,” explained the private. “Perhaps they had a scorpion guide. I did not really see much.”
The Military Intelligence officer entered the bunker after inspecting the border fence. “Tracks show the bandits came from the USGF side, and then returned,” he commented. “But you say they fled north? Did you actually see that? I found one set of human boot tracks. Did you see any human pestilence?”
“No,” answered the private. “Perhaps I just assumed the bandits fled north. I was almost unconscious from my injuries.”
“Your memory had better improve fast,” threatened the spider commander as he inspected the many scorpion tracks left in the sand. “If not, an Intelligentsia interrogator will help you remember.”
“I think I might have seen one human pestilence,” replied the private. “At first I thought he was just a hallucination caused by my concussion. But, now that I think about it, I am pretty sure I saw a tall, thin, dark-skinned legionnaire officer. I saw lots of scorpions. They were going to eat me, but changed their minds because of the legionnaire officer!”
“Arrest this fool pending further interrogation,” ordered the spider commander, examining the tracks in the sand. “My missing officer will be avenged!”
* * * * *
I arrived at the main gate for my weekly meeting with the spider commander, expecting no controversy. Everyone was on edge about the recent shortage of Starbucks coffee, but we were toughing it out. The spider commander handed me Imperial Warrants of Arrest for Captain Lopez, for murder and terrorism.
“We do not extradite legionnaires,” I advised. “But I promise to look into the matter.”
“You will do more than just look into matters!” responded the spider commander. “You will immediately arrest Lopez and hold him for extradition. Then, I will take the terrorist Lopez into custody and execute him myself!”
“I need to check with General Daly first,” I advised. “Don’t do anything stupid until I get back to you.”
“Too late!” replied the spider commander. “The dye is cast.”
Multiple explosions from the scorpion-held north perimeter rocked Cemetery City, followed by the sound of tank engines and small arms fire. The spider commander ran back to his side of the border.
“I can kill him for you,” advised Guido. “I still have a clean shot.”
“Not this time,” I advised. “No good would come of it. Take cover, and we’ll ride this one out. I’ll kill him later.”
* * * * *
Captain Lopez woke to the sound of explosions and machine gun fire. His scorpion guardsmen burrowed under the sand. Lopez dropped quickly down a prepared tunnel hole. After spider tanks rumbled overhead, scorpions emerged from their burrows to shoot spider infantry from behind.
Tank turrets swiveled around to return fire. A męlée followed, with scorpions jumping up on tanks and machine guns, searching for fast moving spider targets. A couple tanks burst into flames as guardsmen fired anti-tank missiles.
Spider marines found Lopez’s hole. “We know you are in there human pestilence!” yelled a spider marine. “Come out!”
“Coma la Mierda!” replied Lopez.
The spider dropped a grenade down the hole. Captain Lopez was far enough down the tunnel to survive the initial attack, but lost hearing. Still refusing to come out, Lopez huddled at the back of the tunnel. Finally, a gas grenade flushed him out. Dazed and confused, Lopez surrendered. As Lopez exited the tunnel, a spider marine knocked him to the ground. They bundled Lopez up and withdrew back across the border fence.
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Chapter 11
The spiders planned a televised show trial for Captain Lopez. Evidence gathered during the raid proved the abducted spider officer and his aide were eaten.
In compliance with recent treaty on treatment of criminals, and after database historical research so as to not offend human pestilence sensibilities, Captain Lopez was strip searched and issued a black and white striped prison jumpsuit. A metal ball and chain was clamped to his leg. All personal property was taken, leaving Lopez with only a tin cup and food tray. Portable human pestilence compatible jail cells were flown in special to house Captain Lopez until the trial.
“The spider commander peered in the small square window of Lopez’s jail cell door. Lopez sat stoic, silently brooding in the far corner, only moving to give the spider commander a one-fingered salute. The spider commander slammed the window portal, then addressed the two guards.
“Lopez has been in custody before. Years ago he proved to be very dangerous. Lopez is still dangerous. Under no circumstances are you to engage this human pestilence officer in conversation or to enter his cell without a team leader present. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir!” chorused the guards.
The spider commander posted his orders on the cell door, to make sure all shifts understood. Still, he expected someone would screw up and not be able to follow simple instructions. The spider commander repeated his orders to a team leader on the way out.
* * * * *
Captain Lopez paced. “The spiders think I’m dangerous?” he commented. “They have no idea.” Lopez urinated into his tin cup, then, pounded on the cell door. “Hey spiders! When is lunch? Don’t think I will tolerate your lousy spider food, either! I want real food!”
One of the spider guards opened the portal window. Immediately Lopez doused the guard in the face with urine. The spider fell back, clutching his eyes. His partner looked on, helpless, sounding an alarm.
Captain Lopez ignored the commotion outside, returning to his corner to
sit. He smashed his tin cup flat, using the steel ball attached to his leg irons, then folded the metal, and pounded it flat again. He repeated the process until the tin cup had been folded and rolled into a long sharp spike. Lopez secured the shank up his sleeve and waited.
* * * * *
A spider team leader and corporal responded to the alarm. A medic attended to the stricken guard, squirting clean water to wash out his eyes.
“Do you think that human pestilence carries many diseases?” asked the injured guard. “Do I need antibiotics?”
“Most certainly,” advised the medic. “Human pestilence are riddled with diseases and parasites. You may even need to be quarantined.”
“Open the cell door,” ordered the spider team leader, his anger rising. “I will teach that arrogant human pestilence a lesson he will never forget.”
“Orders are that no entry is allowed for any reason,” advised the other spider guard, pointing to the written notice posted on the cell door. “It is too dangerous.”
“Nonsense!” replied the team leader, reviewing the instructions. “It merely says no entry unless a team leader is present. I am a team leader. Open up! I want a private moment with this human pestilence.”
The spider guard grudgingly keyed open the cell door for the team leader and corporal to enter. He knew it was wrong, but what could he do? Only fools got promoted to be team leaders these days, and idiots to corporal. The guard closed the cell door behind them, as instructed, relieved when the door was safely locked.
* * * * *
Captain Lopez looked up at the two spider marines. One was large, the other medium sized. They both carried menacing clubs, advancing warily. Captain Lopez smiled, standing and circling to his side. The ball and chain impeded movement, but that could not be helped. Lopez tried to keep the smaller spider between him and the larger spider. Eventually, the two spiders cornered him. Lopez stood braced in a bladed fighter’s stance, waiting for their attack.
“You will learn manners, human pestilence,” advised the larger spider. “If not, you will die here and now.”
“Le mato ambos!” replied Captain Lopez, palming the concealed shank behind his far hip.
When the spiders rushed, Captain Lopez stepped aside, furthest from the bigger spider. He stabbed the smaller spider in the gut. Surprise was total. Still grappling with the mortally wounded spider, Captain Lopez used the smaller spider’s body as a partial shied against the larger spider’s club. The knife still hidden from view, being thrust through the smaller spider’s exoskeleton, Lopez lashed out at the larger spider’s throat. Surprised by the knife attack, the spider team leader was easily sliced across the throat. He fell away, gasping for air. Captain Lopez then held the smaller spider down, cutting from his gut up to his heart. In panic, the spider team leader clawed at the cell door, still sucking air through his throat. Tossing the downed spider aside, Lopez smashed the steel ball down on the spider team leader, crushing the protective exoskeleton. Spider brains splattered against the cell door.
“Is everything alright in there?” asked the guard outside. “Have you taught that human pestilence his lesson yet?”
“Your friends are dead,” Lopez announced with a guttural sound to his laugh. “I am going to eat them for lunch. Next time, be on time with my meals!”
The window portal opened, allowing the spider guard could look in. Captain Lopez threw a piece of bloody spider flesh through the opening. The portal slammed shut. Lopez knelt down, quickly searching the two dead spiders. He removed money, jewelry, a watch, two knives, and a concealed pistol. Lopez hid the pistol and one of the knives inside his fouled toilet. The other items were hidden in bedding.
Soon spider guards brandishing assault rifles entered the cell and forced Captain Lopez back. They found Lopez was chewing on a crispy claw, blood dripping from his chin. “Tastes like chicken!” commented Captain Lopez, throwing a piece of the claw at the guards.
One of the spider guards raised his rifle to shoot, but an officer grabbed the rifle. “He will stand trial,” explained the spider officer. “Those are our orders.”
The spider guards dragged the two bodies from the cell and left. Captain Lopez settled into his corner, exhausted. He closed his eyes, planning his next move. However, his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of tapping on metal. It came from next door.
“Hey, bendaho! Is that you causing all that trouble again? Don’t you ever stop?”
“Who is that?” asked Captain Lopez, speaking through the air vent. “I don’t know you!”
“Sure you do. I’m the Arthropodan marine you captured and let go, out by the border fence,” explained the spider private. “You ruined my life! After your trial and execution by hanging, I am next! Happy now? They are going to give me the firing squad! Fuck you, bendaho! Puta!”
“Sorry,” replied Captain Lopez. “Sometimes shit happens. You know what? You need to expand your Spanish vocabulary. Repeat after me. ‘La mierda sucede. La vida es dura. Entonces usted se muere!’”
“Ha!” yelled the spider private. “My translator understands you now. Shit happens! Life is tough! Then you die! Spare me your sage human pestilence philosophy, and come up with a way to get us out of this mess! I know you have friends and money on the outside! If you escape, I want out too!”
* * * * *
I was allowed to visit Captain Lopez at his cell. I spoke to him through the window portal.
“Years ago I thought my trial was the galactic trial of the century,” I commented. “But no longer. The spiders are talking about selling tickets for your trial at the theaters and on pay-for-view TV. You will be featured on prime time right after Wrestlemania. The spiders are going to make an example of you. They get real testy about cannibalism, and you are a repeat offender.”
“It’s not cannibalism unless a spider eats another spider,” argued Captain Lopez. “Humans are at the top of the food chain. Are you going to break me out or not?”
“No,” I replied. “Security is too tight. You are at Arthropodan Marine Headquarters. The place is crawling with spiders.”
“Do you have any good news?” asked Captain Lopez. “If not it’s time for you to leave. I’m getting depressed.”
“I have good news and I have bad news,” I answered. “The good news is that, on appeal in absentia, a Legion review board heard your demotion case and found you to not be at fault for the Breeze Mining stock crash. Not only was your rank restored, but you were promoted to full colonel. I think your chances of getting out of here are better now that you have more rank.”
I handed Lopez a pair of gold eagles. He pinned them to the collar of his jumpsuit. The birds seemed to cheer him up.
“And the bad news?” asked Colonel Lopez.
“New Memphis bookies are giving ten to one odds that you will be executed within two months,” I replied. “Most of us think it will happen this month.”
“It is illegal for bookies to take wagers on the fate of legionnaires,” groused Colonel Lopez. “I thought we settled that. You should bomb their offices.”
“It’s not an official betting line,” I explained. “It’s all under the table.” “Even so, it’s unethical. Hey! Who are you betting on?” “I have not placed a wager yet. That would cause a serious conflict of interest. You know me. I try to keep things honest.” “Yeah, right!” replied Colonel Lopez. “You are betting against me. Get me out of here!” “Negotiators are working on getting you released. For a while it looked like they could link our withdrawal from Blue Rock Valley to your release, but then you killed two more spiders. Did you really eat them?”
“I only ate a claw or two,” explained Colonel Lopez. “I was just playing. You know, trying to piss them off.” “You succeeded. Do you want a human or spider lawyer appointed to represent you at trial?” “What I want is for you to break me out! As soon as possible. I want that spider next door busted out too!”
* * * * *
Colonel Lopez requested an urgent meeti
ng with the spider commander. Just when it appeared Lopez was being ignored, the spider commander came by. The spider commander was flanked by two bodyguards carrying submachine guns.
“I have good news,” advised the spider commander. “You are not going to hang after all.”
“Really?” asked Colonel Lopez, optimistically. “Am I being released?”
“I was told you had no sense of humor,” commented the spider commander. “Ha! No, of course you are not being released. We took a vote. That’s something you human pestilence should appreciate. You will be tortured to death. The plan is to cut you from head to foot, and let monitor dragons chew on your bones while you are four pointed to the ground.”
“That doesn’t sound good,” said Colonel Lopez. “What kind of sick mind came up with that? Can’t we work out a deal? I have money.”
“I suggest you commit suicide,” advised the spider commander. “It would be the honorable thing to do. We can film your suicide if you like. It would be great for TV ratings.”
“I’ll pass on that,” replied Lopez. “You have any good news?”
“A team of Intelligentsia interrogators will be here in a few days to talk to you.”
“Why bother?” asked Lopez. “The evidence against me is overwhelming. My conviction and execution is a done deal. What more do you want?”
“You are a Legion colonel and a Military Intelligence officer,” explained the spider commander. “Surely you have interesting secrets that can be squeezed from you.”
Cemetery City Page 9
