Love Hate Relationship (a Colors novel)

by Jessica Prince

  “It would make more sense.”

  “See, that’s exactly what I’m talking about!” I shouted. “You and I are on two totally different wave lengths. Hell, we might as well be on different planets.” I whipped my hand in between us. “This can never, ever happen.”

  His growing silence as he stood there, watching me, only made me even more anxious. “You really feel strongly about this, don’t you?” he finally asked.

  I breathed a sigh of relief. He was finally understanding. “Yes. I really, really do.”

  Rowan came forward, backing me up until my butt hit the back of the couch. If not for his hands snaking around my waist and holding tight, I could have toppled over. “You want me, Navie. I felt it. The way you pressed against me, the way you kissed me—”

  “You kissed me!”

  “And you were with me every step of the way. You can’t deny that.”

  I needed him to move. He was too close. I couldn’t think straight, couldn’t breathe correctly. Rowan’s presence snuffed out all rational thought, making me do and say things I’d soon regret. Reaching down to remove his hands from me, I sidestepped out of the way.

  “Look,” I started, able to breathe again once there was space between us. “I can’t deny it, okay. I am attracted to you.” A shit-eating grin spread across his face. “But…” I continued, and that smile disappeared just as quickly as it had appeared, “…it doesn’t matter. Attracted or not, this can’t happen. Please, Rowan, I’m asking you, just let this go. If you don’t, I’m going to have to quit, and I really don’t want to do that. I’m finally starting to like my job,” I ended on a joke, trying my best to defuse the tension in the room. Unfortunately, the joke fell flat.

  With a defeated sigh, Rowan put his hands on his hips and dropped his head for several seconds before looking back up at me. “Okay,” he finally said after what felt like an eternity of silence.

  “Okay?”

  “I’m not going to force myself on you,” he insisted defensively.

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  “I get it,” he said. “You’re not comfortable. And honestly, I’d rather not lose you as my assistant if I can help it.”

  It almost felt too easy, and from the carefree way he simply gave up, I was having trouble taking what he said at face value. “Really?”

  “Yeah.” He shrugged. “But that being said, I expect you to be at work tomorrow.”

  “Okay, I can do that.” I felt a sense of relief, despite that small niggling doubt in the back of my head. Deciding that was a bridge I’d cross if and when I got there, I pushed it to the back of my mind and took comfort in my world going back to normal, at least somewhat.

  Instead of leaving like I expected, Rowan looked around my and Harlow’s little apartment, taking everything in, and I suddenly wished I’d taken the time to clean. Our place wasn’t dirty, but Harlow and I weren’t all that great at putting things where they belonged.

  “What’s that?” he asked, walking over to my little work desk where I kept everything I needed to make jewelry.

  “Oh, uh…” I stumbled, suddenly feeling exposed as he looked over the things that meant so much to me.

  Rowan picked up the hammered metal cuff I’d been working on. I had spent long, tedious hours getting the copper leaves just right. I was extremely proud of the bracelet—it was one of my favorite pieces—but having him scrutinize my work made me feel itchy. “Um… yeah. I made all of that,” I answered, waving my hand to encompass everything on the table.

  My lungs stuttered painfully in my chest until he looked up at me in awe. “These are amazing. Why the hell are you working as my assistant?” He held the bracelet up in his left hand. “This is what you should be doing! I bet you could make a fortune off this stuff.”

  Despite my heart flipping with joy at his praise, I felt the familiar discomfort that came with people examining my work. That was one of the things that held me back in pursuing a career in jewelry making. Despite having grown from the meek little girl, always in need of saving, that was the one area of my life I still let fear dictate. But still, that wasn’t the main reason I held myself back, only selling a handful of pieces online occasionally. It was fear.

  Shrugging, I answered honestly, pointing at the table. “There’s no guarantee of success with that. I’d rather have a job where I could count on my next paycheck, you know? I guess I just need the security.”

  “Did your parents have money problems?”

  Wringing my hands in front of me, I kept my eyes trained on the ground at my feet. “Nah, I didn’t grow up with my parents.”

  “Other relatives?” he asked. When I looked back up, his head was tilted to the side in curiosity.

  Sucking in a lungful of air, I tried my best to sound aloof. “I grew up in foster care.”

  Before I could blink, he was standing in front of me, his fingers brushing my cheek so softly it was just a whisper against my skin. “Shit, Navie. I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s okay. It really wasn’t a big deal,” I lied. I was in desperate need of a change of subject. “So… are we good now? I’ll be back at work tomorrow.”

  “Yeah.” He smiled, taking a step back and tucking his hands into his pockets. “We’re good.”

  “And no more overt sexual advances?”

  “You have my word,” he promised. “No more overt sexual advances.”

  I should have been relieved. I should have been happy that we’d come to an agreement I could live with. What I couldn’t understand was why I was overcome with disappointment. Pushing it aside, I plastered a smile on my face and held out my hand for him to shake. The moment his large, rough palm touched mine, I shivered. “See you tomorrow, boss,” I offered flippantly.

  Rowan chuckled from deep in his chest. “See you tomorrow, Navie.” Then he did something that stunned me. Using our clasped hands, he pulled me forward, closing the remaining inches between us, and placed a lingering kiss on my cheek. “Feel better,” he murmured in my ear. He grinned as he stepped away and headed for the door. As soon as it closed behind him, I lifted my hand and pressed it against my cheek where he’d kissed me. I spent the remainder of the night feeling that kiss on my skin as if it had just happened.

  I was in a lot of trouble.

  Navie was in for a major surprise. As I took the stairs down from her apartment to the street, I made a decision. I’d promised no overt sexual advances. I hadn’t said anything about wearing her down slowly… unknowingly. By the time I was done with her, she’d be begging for me to take her to bed.

  She was going to be mine. She just didn’t know it yet.

  I had walked into Rowan’s home ready to work the day after he left my apartment, feeling like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Yes, my longing for him was still there, but knowing he respected my boundaries and wouldn’t push me gave me a sense of comfort.

  What I hadn’t realized when I made it to work was that sense of comfort was going to be extremely short-lived.

  It had been two weeks since that conversation, and every single day since then had been nothing but one temptation after another. Rowan found any reason he could to be close to me, always touching, always caressing, always near. He did it as though it was second nature, casually resting his hand on the small of my back when we prepared our coffee in the morning, pressing himself against my back to reach up for a mug, twirling strands of my hair around his finger as he studied something on the laptop screen over my shoulder. It was always something. I wasn’t sure he was even aware of what he was doing, but I’d occasionally glance in his direction to find him smiling to himself after ‘accidentally’ brushing against me. Those smiles had me thinking it wasn’t all subconscious behavior.

  My head was a mess. Each day, I went home, berating myself for letting his behavior continue, telling myself I’d say something to stop him the following day. Then I’d feel his fingertips casually brush the skin of my neck to “tuck the tag in the back of m
y shirt” and I’d crumble, needy for those illicit touches.

  Two weeks of this.

  Two weeks!

  I was going insane. I’d never needed to get laid so badly in my entire life. But I could not allow myself to have the one man I wanted. There would be no coming back from that, I knew it deep down in my gut. There was no defense strong enough to handle what he was capable of doing if I caved completely. Rowan Locklaine could wreck me, I just knew it.

  “How does this look?” Rowan asked as he stepped into the kitchen, pulling me from my lust-filled musings. Turning from the coffee maker, I nearly swallowed my tongue at the sight of him. I’d seen Rowan casual, I’d seen him semi-dressed up—hell, I’d even seen the guy naked! But in a three-piece suit? I was pretty sure my panties just went up in flames.

  “Navie?”

  “Huh?” I shook my head to clear it of all the dirty thoughts and picked my jaw up off the floor. The way Rowan’s full lips tilted up in a smirk told me he knew where my head had just been.

  “The suit. Does it look okay?”

  Swallowing loudly, I gave a jerky nod. “Y-yeah. It looks fantastic… I mean good! It looks good.”

  Jesus, Navie! Get your shit together!

  “Just good?” That smirk of his turned into a full-blown, knowing smile. “You sure it’s just good?”

  With a roll of my eyes, I turned back to doctor up my coffee and pour him a mug. “You already have a big enough ego, no need to fish for compliments.” I hoped my flippant comment would diffuse some of the tension in the room but when I spun back to face him, Rowan had managed to move from the doorway to right behind me without making a sound.

  Like a sexy ninja.

  I was practically caged against the counter. “I wouldn’t have to fish for compliments if you’d give them willingly,” he said in a low, seductive voice as his fingers came up to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “Here, follow my lead. Navie, you look beautiful today.”

  I felt those words all the way down to my bones… right before they turned to mush. If I hadn’t been pressed against the counter, I was sure I’d have melted into a puddle on the floor.

  “Now it’s your turn,” he coaxed, standing way too close for my own good.

  “Y-you look very handsome,” I offered in an embarrassingly breathy voice.

  “See?” He chuckled, finally taking a step back. “That wasn’t so hard, now was it?”

  “I really don’t like you sometimes.”

  “Ah, baby,” he crooned, picking up his mug and bringing it to his lips. “You like me all the time. You just won’t admit it.”

  Snatching the mug from his hands, I dumped the rest of his coffee into the sink before gracing him with a smug grin of my own.

  “Hey! I was drinking that!”

  “Sorry.” I shrugged innocently. “I thought you were finished.” Stepping past him, I called over my shoulder as I left the kitchen. “The photographer will be here any minute. I just saved you from having coffee-stained teeth in front of all the readers of Modern Woman magazine. You’re welcome.”

  With that, I left him grumbling as I headed for his office to make sure everything was set up for the shoot.

  So, it was pretty safe to say my plan to wear Navie down wasn’t going as quickly as I’d hoped. It had been two weeks, and despite the want shining back at me from those dark blue eyes, she was still holding strong to her resolve.

  I was horny. And pissed. Not a good combination. Something needed to happen, and it needed to happen fast. Or my balls were liable to explode from too much build-up.

  Then, like an answer from the gods, my solution came in the form of a buxom brunette photographer with no qualms about flirting in a professional setting. It couldn’t have been more perfectly timed, really. I’d been putting my best moves on Navie with no success, but the moment I saw her staring daggers at the photographer the magazine had hired for the shoot, a light bulb went off. I was going to make her jealous.

  And if there was one thing I’d learned in my life, it was that a jealous woman always fought for what she wanted. I was a fucking genius.

  We’d been at it for almost an hour. Annie (I think that was her name) posed me in a million and one different positions—in front of the window, leaning against my desk with my arms crossed, sitting behind my desk—there wasn’t a space of my office I hadn’t been photographed in. And she flirted the entire time, a suggestive comment here, a sultry look there. All the while, Navie stood off to the side, watching the whole thing. The woman’s desire for me was blatantly obvious, and I used it to my benefit.

  “I have to say,” Annie spoke as the camera continued to click, “you’re a natural in front of the camera.”

  I gave her my signature sexy smile, making sure to watch Navie from the corner of my eye as I leaned back into my chair, my ankle resting on the opposite knee, my chin in the palm of my hand. “Is that right?”

  She lowered the camera and grinned at me, licking her glossy lips. “Oh, most definitely. Your sex appeal is off the charts. Our readers are going to go crazy when they see this spread.”

  “Just the readers?” I flirted back, ignoring the gagging sounds coming from my assistant’s direction.

  “Mmm,” Annie hummed seductively, running her eyes up and down my body. “Definitely not just the readers.”

  I ran my finger across my bottom lip as I regarded the brunette in front of me. I had absolutely no desire to fuck her, but Navie had spent the past hour fuming, so I needed to lay it on just a little thicker. “You know, I’m starving. What do you say we grab a bite to eat after this? That is, if you’re not too busy.”

  “I’m not busy at all,” Annie answered. “Just a few more shots and I think we can call it a day. We could go somewhere, or maybe… order in?” she finished with a wink, not so subtly letting me know she was a sure thing. Oh, she was just playing right into the palm of my hand. I was ecstatic—that was, until Navie cleared her throat.

  “You know, if you’re almost finished here, I think I’ll head out a little early.”

  My gaze quickly darted from the woman I didn’t want to the one I did. What the ever loving hell? “Early?” I asked dumbly, trying to understand what was happening. She was no longer staring at Annie like she wanted to gut her like a fish. Oh, no, all that hate in her eyes was focused solely on me, along with something else. Something that looked an awful lot like pain. My gut plummeted.

  “Yeah. I mean, you obviously don’t need me here, right?”

  “I think we’re good, just the two of us,” Annie answered before I had a chance to speak.

  I needed to fix things fast. “You’re not joining us for dinner?” My question earned a confused look from Annie and a scowl from Navie. It was at that very moment I realized my mistake… my huge fucking mistake. Navie wasn’t like any other woman I’d ever been with. She didn’t play games, didn’t manipulate. She was honest to a fault. I was an idiot for thinking for one second that making her jealous would pull her closer to me. All I’d managed to do in the span of an hour was push her even further away.

  Standing from my chair, I started in her direction, needing to touch her with a desperation I hadn’t felt in years. A desperation I was so sure I’d never feel again after what Bree had put me through. But seeing my intentions, she quickly skittered toward the open door. “I’ll pass on dinner,” she sneered. “I’m sure you’ll have your hands full anyway. You won’t even notice I’m not there.”

  The meaning behind her words was a punch in the gut. Despite my intentions, as far as she was concerned, I’d just proven her right in thinking the worst of me.

  “Have a good night, Nancy,” Annie said as she stepped up next to me, curving her fingers around my bicep possessively.

  Something flashed in those navy blue eyes, a sadness that stole the breath from my lungs. “You, too,” she offered, not bothering to correct the leech who had just attached herself to my side like she belonged there. Navie’s eyes flittered to wh
ere her hand was wrapped around my arm and the look on her face nearly broke me. It was entirely my fault. If it had been possible, I’d have kicked my own ass.

  “Now, where were we?” Annie purred once we were alone, moving in front of me to wrap her arms around my neck. The heavy, suffocating scent of her perfume suddenly hit me like a punch to the face, and I wanted nothing more than to get her out of my apartment as fast as possible.

  “You were just leaving,” I answered shortly, reaching up to pull her arms from around me.

  Her brows drew down in disbelief. “What?”

  “My assistant’s name is Navie. Not Nancy. You knew that already, seeing as you used her name to request something from her at least three times today.”

  “Yeah, so? What does it matter?” She laughed, running her fingers along my chest. “She’s just your assistant.”

  I grabbed her wrists, holding tightly enough for her to get the hint that she needed to stop touching me. I was already pissed at myself, and her blatant disregard for Navie was doing nothing but fueling the fire. Using my hold on her wrists to pull her closer, I hissed in her ear, “The only reason I paid you any attention today was to make that assistant jealous. If you had been lucky enough to get my cock, it would have been her face I was picturing as I fucked you. And I would have come, moaning Navie, not Nancy. Now, get the hell out.”

  She yanked away from me, disgust distorting her features, features that required makeup for her to look attractive. Navie didn’t need anything to make her gorgeous. I’d seen her in sweats, her hair in a messy bun at the top of her head, and not a speck of makeup on her face. And I still got harder for her than I had for any other woman.

  “You’re an asshole,” she seethed as she stuffed her camera inside its bag.

  “Nice working with you,” I responded dismissively, not bothering to watch her storm out as I grabbed my phone and began dialing.

  It was time to do something I hadn’t done in a very long time.