The Worst Witch All at Sea

by The Worst Witch All At Sea

  First of all, Mildred examined the cave in the hope that it might be full of nice dry ledges and crannies, but it was unfortunately very shallow, more like a wind-blown sentry-box, with not one projection in the rock to hide a cat-basket. The boat was the only other hope.

  Mildred opened the basket and let Tabby out for a run. Tabby looked most unimpressed by the sight of so much water, and stalked off to examine the cave, leaving Mildred to edge along the breakwater so that she could take a good look at the boat.

  It was bigger than it had looked from Gloom Castle. There were two benches for rowers to sit on and at one end was a little cabin with a tiny door and window. A pair of oars was neatly lashed to the inside of the boat and

  there was a lifebelt on the side of the cabin, which made Mildred feel a little less panic-stricken.

  Very carefully, Mildred lowered herself into the boat, which rolled alarmingly until she had found her balance, opened the door into the cabin and squeezed herself inside.

  It was surprisingly snug. The rhythmic movement of the waves and the muffled slapping of the water even felt quite soothing after all the howling wind and rain. It really did seem the perfect place to hide a striped cat who shouldn’t have come on holiday in the first place.

  here’s Ebony, Mil?’ asked Maud, as Mildred arrived back in the dormitory carrying the cat-basket with the door open. ‘He’s all right, isn’t he?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ said Mildred. ‘He jumped out when I was on my way to Miss Hardbroom, and disappeared out of the nearest window along the battlements. I expect he’ll be back soon. He’s a more adventurous cat than Tabby.’

  At least that part’s true! she thought miserably, feeling terrible at telling such an appalling amount of lies to her best friend.

  ‘I think Miss Cackle should have let you keep that moth-eaten stripy rug,’ jeered Ethel, whose clothes were now all folded into regimented piles on top of her suitcase at the end of her bed.

  ‘No wonder poor old Ebony’s made a bolt for it!’

  Mildred had been working very hard on her spells and could now remember word-perfect the spells to change people into pigs, snails, frogs and centipedes, plus the antidote spells to change them back. She was sorely tempted to lash out and turn Ethel into a centipede for ten minutes, but managed to restrain herself when she remembered the other occasion, in her first term, when she had got into the most awful trouble with Miss Hardbroom for changing Ethel into a pig.

  Just at that moment, as if to remind Mildred that it wouldn’t have been a good idea at all, Miss Hardbroom materialized in the middle of the room.

  ‘Excellent, Ethel,’ she said, a wave of her bony hand indicating Ethel’s neat pile of belongings. ‘If only you all had such organized brains as Ethel Hallow, Form Two. Ethel could make a rubbish tip look like an army barracks – even her cat knows how to arrange itself with taste.’

  Ethel’s cat, Night Star, was sitting bolt upright with his head slightly bowed on top of a pile of cardigans, looking like a statue from a museum.

  ‘Yuk!’ whispered Mildred to Maud. ‘Doesn’t she make you feel sick?’

  ‘I do hope you aren’t referring to me, Mildred Hubble?’ said Miss Hard-broom icily.

  ‘Oh no, Miss Hardbroom,’ said Mildred, blushing.

  ‘Then who were you referring to, Mildred?’ asked Miss Hardbroom.

  ‘Ethel Hallow, Miss Hardbroom,’ muttered Mildred.

  ‘Envy of Ethel’s superior qualities will get you absolutely nowhere, Mildred Hubble,’ snapped Miss Hardbroom. ‘Apologize to Ethel, please.’

  ‘Sorry, Ethel,’ mumbled Mildred.

  ‘That’s all right, Mildred,’ Ethel said, smiling sweetly. ‘We all know you can’t help it.’

  ‘Now then, girls,’ said Miss Hardbroom. ‘The rest of the day is yours to study and rest after the long flight. Then we will have an early bedtime and hope that the weather is a little less bracing tomorrow so that we can play some games and sports on the beach.’

  Having said this, she vanished.

  Everyone stood around, looking nervous. No one dared to speak for several minutes, as they were never sure if she was still there or not.

  Ethel was the first to speak, saying, just to be on the safe side, ‘Well, I’m going to sit on my bed and brush up on my chanting. We’ve got a test during the week, holiday or not.’

  ‘Good girl, Ethel,’ Miss Hardbroom’s approving tones wafted through the room making everyone jump.

  There was a hasty scramble as the pupils of Form Two all dived for their beds and took out their spell and chanting books and arranged themselves in as studious-looking positions as possible.

  After a while, everyone relaxed and began chatting again.

  ‘What will you do if Ebony doesn’t come back?’ Enid called across the other beds to Mildred.

  ‘Oh, he’ll be back,’ said Mildred vaguely. ‘And even if he’s gone for a few days, I’m sure he’ll be back in time to go home.’

  hen Mildred woke up the next morning she had a stiff neck from sleeping beneath the window. She sat up to peer out through the mist and saw a watery sun lurking behind the clouds.

  Her first thought was for Tabby, and she crept out of her sleeping-bag and clambered into her sports-kit of grey aertex shirt, knee-length black shorts, grey socks and black plimsolls. (Miss Hardbroom and Miss Cackle had decreed that everyone was allowed to wear sports clothes for the entire holiday.) As it was still very early and rather cold, she wrapped her cloak around her shoulders and tiptoed out of the dormitory.

  Seagulls screamed and wheeled

  around her as she picked her way carefully down the rickety steps to the cove. To Mildred’s delight, the sun had burnt through the clouds and the mist rolled back across the sea, as if an invisible hand was rolling up a carpet before her very eyes, and there below her lay the sea, sparkling and calm, the boat gently bobbing like a bath-toy at the end of the breakwater.

  Mildred’s spirits lifted like the mist as the sun warmed her tousled morning hair, and she watched the sea turn bluer by the minute. It seemed a completely different place from yesterday.

  Tabby was curled up on a pile of rope inside the shelter at the end of the boat. Mildred could see him as she peeped in through the window.

  ‘Good morning, Tab!’ she said, opening the door. ‘I’ve brought your break-fast.’

  Tabby sprang on to her shoulder with one bound and rubbed his head against her neck. He certainly seemed none the worse for his night on board the boat.

  Mildred unwrapped the little parcel of food which she had brought. She had saved three fish fingers and a lump of soggy mashed potato from dinner the night before. In fact, it was nearly all the dinner, as they had only had five fish fingers to start with, as well as baked beans, but she knew Tabby didn’t like baked beans, so she had gratefully eaten those herself. She had also brought some milk mixed with water, in a plastic bottle she had saved from their breakfast on the flight to the Castle.

  Mildred went and sat on the shingle beach and watched Tabby exploring the seaweed.

  ‘I’d better get back, Tab,’ said Mildred after a while. ‘They’ll all come to investigate if they know I’m down here so early. I’ll leave the window open a bit, so you don’t get too hot. At least there’s a nice breeze on the sea. I’ll come back this evening and let you out again. Don’t you worry now.’

  Tabby wasn’t at all keen about going back into the cabin. Mildred had to rugby-tackle him and stuff him protesting back inside.

  Everyone was up and in the middle of dressing when Mildred arrived back in the dormitory.

  ‘Well, fancy that,’ said Ethel. ‘Mildred Hubble the early riser. Been practising your broomstick water-skiing have you?’

  ‘Something like that,’ muttered Mildred.

  ‘What a terrific morning!’ exclaimed Maud, smiling joyfully as she looked out of the window. ‘Miss Hardbroom just came in and announced that we’re to spend the whole day on the beach! We’ve all got our
swimming-costumes on under our PE clothes, Mil. You’d better get yours on too – oh, and don’t forget to bring your swimming-hat and your broomstick. The magician’s arranged for us to have breakfast on the beach as a special treat!’

  Not too near the boat, I hope! thought Mildred, anxious that someone might hear or see Tabby.

  Miss Cackle and Miss Hardbroom were waiting for the members of Form Two in the little courtyard.

  ‘Good morning, girls,’ said Miss Cackle, beaming. ‘Such glorious weather, after yesterday.’

  ‘I hope you’re all very grateful to be here having this wonderful holiday,’ snarled Miss Hardbroom, making them all feel guilty as usual.

  ‘Yes, Miss Hardbroom,’ chorused the girls.

  ‘Yes, yes, Miss Hardbroom,’ said Miss Cackle. ‘I’m sure we’re all delighted to be here. Now then, as we all have our broomsticks with us, we may as well fly down to the cove instead of using those rather worn-looking steps. Mr Rowan-Webb has left a veritable feast of a breakfast on the beach, so the sooner we get down there the better, I say! Take it easy on the way down – the cliffs are very steep. I think we should hover our way down rather than attempting a nosedive.’

  reakfast consisted of the most delicious array of food. The girls were dumbfounded at the amount of choice. In fact, there was usually no choice at all, just grey porridge looking like half-set concrete.

  ‘Don’t just stand there gawping, Form Two,’ said Miss Hardbroom. ‘Take a plate and anything you require. Anyone would think you’d never seen food before.’

  The feast was spread out on two long trestle-tables. There were several jugs of orange juice, two silver dishes full of kippers (Mildred made a mental note that she must get one or two for Tabby), ten silver racks stuffed with toast, pots of butter, four huge jars of marmalade, two pots of Marmite, three silver dishes full of crispy bacon, a large dish of grilled tomatoes and two more loaves in case anyone was still hungry.

  There was also a large pottery urn full of Cornflakes and two pottery jugs full of milk, plus several bowls of sugar. The bowls and plates were all a beautiful shade of midnight blue with tiny gold stars on them. The girls still didn’t quite dare to help themselves.

  ‘Tuck in, girls!’ announced Miss Cackle. ‘I’m certainly not going to wait a moment longer!’

  This was the signal they all needed and soon there was a noisy bustle of spoons and bowls being grabbed and everyone was piling up as much food as they could cram on to their plates.

  ‘Steady on, Mil!’ said Maud, as she noticed Mildred attempting to hide three kippers underneath two strategically placed pieces of toast.

  ‘I’m starving this morning,’ said Mildred. ‘It must be the sea air!’

  She had a plastic bag in the pocket of her voluminous shorts, and managed to slide in all three kippers with the minimum of mess while no one was looking.

  After the girls had eaten everything in sight and were lolling around feeling so full that they could hardly breathe, Miss Cackle clapped her hands and chanted the words of a spell no one had heard before. At once the trestle-tables took off like a pair of giant seagulls and flew back up the cliff, where they disappeared out of sight into the castle.

  ‘Mr Rowan-Webb lent me that spell, girls,’ said Miss Cackle, ‘as part of our breakfast treat – no washing-up for anyone this morning!’

  Form Two cheered loudly.

  ‘Now then, girls!’ announced Miss Hardbroom. ‘First of all, a word of warning. When your broomsticks are near the water their magic powers are far less efficient. That is to say, they don’t work so brilliantly when their magic is damp. Of course in some people’s cases, they don’t work too brilliantly even in ninety degrees of heat.’ Here she shot a glance at Mildred, who dropped her eyes to the beach, feeling aware of the illicit kippers congealing in her pocket. ‘For this reason,’ Miss Hardbroom went on, ‘you will find it difficult to keep your broomsticks stable directly above the water. However, if the broomsticks are hovering a good few feet above the waves, they will be strong enough to pull you along behind on water-skis. Miss Cackle and I have stored the school skis in a crate in the cave, which you will see behind us. There are enough pairs to fit every girl, plus one piece of rope each. Please go and collect these items and come back to me.’

  Thank goodness I didn’t hide Tabby in the cave, thought Mildred, as she joined the scrum of pupils grabbing their equipment.

  ‘This should be fun!’ exclaimed Enid, emerging laden from the cave just as Mildred was going in.

  ‘Has anyone tried broomstick water-skiing before?’ asked Miss Hardbroom once the girls had lined up on the beach with all their gear.

  ‘I don’t mean to boast, Miss Hard-broom,’ simpered Ethel, ‘but I was champion at my junior school.’

  ‘Excellent, my dear!’ enthused Miss Hardbroom. ‘Then perhaps you could show your fellow pupils what is required.’

  Ethel set about fixing the length of rope on to the back of the broomstick. There was enough spare to leave several feet of rope, which she tied into a handle at the other end.

  ‘Shall I give a demonstration, Miss Hardbroom?’ asked Ethel.

  ‘Thank you, Ethel,’ said Miss Hardbroom. ‘That would be most kind.’

  Ethel took off her sports clothes to reveal her striped bathing-costume. She bundled her hair into the black bathing-hat and carried her broomstick and the skis to the shallow water at the edge of the beach.

  ‘Hover!’ she commanded her broom, which remained lifeless in her hands. ‘Miss Hardbroom – it won’t hover!’ Ethel was close to tears. ‘This has never happened before, Miss Hardbroom – Miss Cackle, I’m so sorry!’

  ‘Don’t worry, Ethel!’ called Miss Hardbroom. ‘You’ve probably forgotten that it’s a little too close to the water. Hold it above your head, dear.’

  Ethel laughed to hide her mistake. She held the broomstick as high above her head as possible while standing on tiptoe.

  ‘Hover!’ she commanded. This time the broomstick was perfectly happy to remain in mid-air. ‘Stay!’ Ethel brandished a finger at the disobedient broom.

  Then she sat in the water, pulled on her skis, and hunched up so that her shoulders were under the water. She held on to the handle at the end of the rope. ‘Off you go!’ she called.

  The broomstick shot off like a rocket.

  Ethel rose out of the water, perfectly balanced on the skis and roared away, skimming the water in a cloud of spray. She executed a figure of eight, almost touching the water as she leaned into the curves, then came back

  to the beach in a straight line, sinking gracefully into the waves at the edge of the shingle as she arrived.

  ‘Stay!’ she called to the broomstick, which screeched to a halt at once and remained hovering patiently in mid-air, with the rope dangling into the sea.

  ‘Was that all right, Miss Hardbroom?’ asked Ethel earnestly.

  ‘Superb, Ethel!’ replied Miss Hardbroom. ‘Quite simply, superb. Now then, Form Two, let’s see if you can all raise yourselves to Ethel’s standard by the end of the week. Of course, I realize that it is unlikely, but you can at least try. I will be joining you for a spin later in the morning. Will you be joining us, Miss Cackle?’

  Miss Cackle looked appalled.

  ‘Er! Oh no, I don’t think so, Miss Hardbroom!’ she answered, looking embarrassed. ‘I’ll be going in for a quick dip though – if the weather stays pleasant!’

  The girls exchanged delighted glances as they imagined Miss Cackle in a swimming-costume.

  ‘The sea-level will probably go up several feet if Miss Cackle goes swimming!’ giggled Mildred.

  ‘What was that, Mildred?’ asked Miss Hardbroom.

  ‘Um – I was just discussing the er – the laws of science!’ replied Mildred. ‘You know: when you put stones in a jar of water and the water-level goes up. I was wondering if – you know – with all this sea-water around we could try a little experiment later on, to see if –’

  ‘I’m glad to note t
hat you are suddenly so fascinated with the laws of science, Mildred,’ said Miss Hardbroom. ‘I must set you a little test to occupy your inquiring mind in case you get bored on the holiday.’

  ‘Thank you, Miss Hardbroom,’ said Mildred.

  Maud and Enid prodded their friend as they all suppressed a major fit of the giggles.

  uch to Mildred’s surprise, the rest of the day was extremely enjoyable. Even Miss Hardbroom seemed relaxed and almost friendly as the sun beat down on the sheltered beach and the waves danced on the shingle.

  Much to Form Two’s delight, Miss Cackle emerged from the cave, which she had been using as a private dressing-room, wearing an extremely tight knee-length bathing-costume made of black and grey spotted material, which showed every bulge. She was also wearing a frilly black bathing-hat made of drooping rubber petals, like a giant chrysanthemum.

  ‘Super day for a dip, girls!’ she called as she picked her way painfully through the pebbles and plunged into the sea, sending up a cloud of spray like a big dipper crashing through the water trough.

  ‘This is the life, eh, Mil?’ said Maud as she floated past Mildred, who was hopping along on one foot, making swimming motions with her hands in the hope that no one would notice her deficiency in the swimming department. ‘Even Miss Hardbroom’s having a sneaky sunbathe – look.’

  Mildred screwed up her eyes against

  the glare. Sure enough, Miss Hardbroom, though still demurely clad in a calf-length black dress, was sitting leaning against a rock with her legs stretched out in the sun and no shoes or stockings!

  ‘Cor, look at that!’ said Enid. ‘No stockings! Whatever next!’