Valentine's Day Sucks (A Young Adult Romance Novella)

by Juli Alexander

  “And the corn?”

  “Same thing. No problems. I already forwarded you the spreadsheet.” I stood and picked up my laundry basket full of dirty clothes. Doing laundry was a lot less boring when I talked on the phone. Besides, I needed some clothes to pack for Dad’s.

  “I can’t believe it.” I heard a touch of the shy child in his voice.

  “Well, believe it. You just found a way to feed ten times as many people at the food bank.” I grinned. “If there’s a nuclear war, I definitely want you in my bomb shelter. We’d never run out of canned food.”

  “Do you realize what this means?”

  “Yeah, I just said so.” Padding down the stairs, I tried not to drop the phone or the laundry.

  “I took two charms and blended them, and came up with a third. And it works. The possibilities are endless.”

  “Amazing, isn’t it. Whoever gave you the idea?” I gave myself a mental pat on the back for clearing the laundry room door without dropping anything.

  “You did, you big dork.”

  The idea had come to me about two months ago. I figured that he might be able to mix his spells like I mixed my potions. “Big dork? Or brilliant dork?”

  “Neither,” he said. “Thanks for the idea. But the spells were all me.”

  “I’m proud of you.” A quick check told me the washer was empty. I dumped my jeans and darks into the machine.

  “My parents are going to flip out.”

  I pictured Milo’s parents. “They’re going to be really proud of you.” His mom ran a food bank, and his dad was a youth minister. They didn’t use magic much, but they wanted Milo to master his spells.

  “I’m not going to tell them yet.” I could almost hear Milo rubbing his hands together like a genius hatching a plan. “I’m going to run out later and multiply all the food at the food pantry. Then, she’ll find it when she opens in the morning.”

  “Do it. It’ll be great.”

  I could hear his smile as he spoke. “I think I will. Tell your dad thanks for me. You’re so lucky to have a scientist for a dad.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up your dad.”

  He knew I wasn’t dealing well with the separation situation. “It’s okay. I am lucky he’s a scientist. I just wish I were lucky in some other ways too.”

  “I forgot to ask you. Did you try that potion to multiply food?”

  “Yeah,” I admitted. Next stop, the kitchen for some caffeine.

  “I take it that your potion didn’t work.”

  “It worked.” I’d turned one small can of asparagus into a big restaurant-sized container. Like the world needed more asparagus anyway. “The asparagus had a funny taste though.”

  Milo gagged into the phone. “Asparagus. How could you even tell it didn’t taste right?”

  “I couldn’t. Obviously. I had my mother try it.” We were down to one can of Coke. I hoped Mom was on top of the grocery situation.

  “Are you sure it tasted funny?”

  “My mother has very reliable taste buds.” She did. Even if she did eat something as gross as asparagus.

  “Too bad. We could have done a lot between the two of us.”

  “You still can.” I popped open the can and chugged.

  “Hang on,” Milo said. A few seconds later, he was back. “Zoe. I have to go. It’s Darlene.”

  “Darlene?” I tried not to show my surprise. “Isn’t that the cheerleader you like?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You dog!” I teased. “Good luck.”

  “Bye.” He hung up.

  I pushed end. Milo really liked this girl, but I never thought she’d like him. Oh sure, he’d changed since elementary school. He’d grown to almost six feet and slimmed down. And he’d gotten contacts last year. I knew he looked good, but I didn’t trust anyone to appreciate him like I did. As a friend of course. I’d never considered him as anything other than a friend.

  Darlene apparently had. I groaned. If Milo started dating Darlene, I’d be the last of my friends to find a boyfriend. Well, in Milo’s case, a girlfriend. I really didn’t like the idea of being last, or put succinctly, the biggest loser of all my friends.

  ***

  “I’ve got a good feeling about this one,” Dad said later that night when he picked me up in his Prius. “I think you’ll like her.”

  “Okay,” I said. I just didn’t feel like telling him that I knew her yet. I didn’t feel much like talking at all. I pretended not to notice that Dad had dressed up in a nice sweater with his khakis instead of his usual sloppy, untucked shirt.

  “And, she told me she has a son your age,” he said as we plodded down the road at exactly the speed limit. “The way she talked about him, I’d assumed he was younger. She doesn’t look my age at all.”

  How much aftershave had Dad used? “I know him,” I admitted.

  “What?” He turned his attention from the road to me.

  “I know her son.” He’d find out anyway. “He dated my best friend.”

  “Well,” he said, clearly surprised. “It’s a small world.”

  Too freakin’ small for my taste.

  Dad glanced over at me. “So, he’s a good kid?”

  “He’s okay,” I said with a shrug.

  “Because we’re going over there for dinner tonight.” He sounded excited about it.

  “Great.” The way to my dad’s heart totally was through his pudgy stomach. He was so into gourmet cooking. Jake’s mom was a real estate agent, so their two-story house was really nice. I’d been there lots of times.

  The sad thing was that I’d always thought my mom and Jake’s mom would get along. Now, I was heading to her house with my dad. So much for that friendship.

  “Are you okay with this?” Dad asked over the tick-tick of the turn signal.

  I knew I should hate him, but I just couldn’t. He didn’t mean to ruin my life. I guess he couldn’t help it. Being nice sucked. Anya was always telling me to work on being bitchier. She had a point. She’d always been high maintenance and she got what she wanted.

  “It’s fine,” I said, glancing out the window as Dad turned onto a side street.

  At least I knew things couldn’t get worse.

  ***

  I learned how wrong I was ten minutes after getting to Jake’s house. We were in the kitchen, helping with the salad, when he said, “So what do you think about Camille?”

  I just looked at him and pretended he hadn’t stabbed me in the heart. Anya was right. He was interested in Camille—another one of my best friends. “She’s great,” I admitted, working to keep my voice neutral.

  “I was thinking about asking her to the dance.” He kept slicing the tomatoes. His over-sized hound, Indiana, sat on his haunches begging for scraps.

  Of course he was. “Great.” Oops. I might have missed neutral on that one. I concentrated on washing the lettuce.

  He stopped and looked at me. “What?”

  “What what?” Two could play that game.

  “You don’t sound like you like the idea,” he said and put down the knife.

  “No. I just...” Why did life have to be so complicated? I turned to meet his gaze. “Do you like her or are you just asking out one of Anya’s friends to get to Anya? I mean Camille has feelings too.”

  His eyes widened. “My God, Zoe. Do you really think I’d do that? I’m not mean.”

  He and I had spent a lot of time together. With Anya, of course. “I know.” Great. I’d insulted him.

  “I haven’t decided about Camille anyway,” he said. “I wanted your opinion.”

  “Do you always ask your mother’s boyfriend’s daughters for opinions about your love life?”

  He looked hurt. “No,” he said. “I do ask my friends though.”

  Okay, now I felt like a real creep. “I’m sorry, Jake. I… This whole thing with our parents is totally stressing me out. And then there’s Anya and Brad, and you and Camille, and I…” I sh
ook my head and turned off the faucet. “I just need a break,” I said, turning to him.

  His green eyes softened. “I know what you mean.”

  “You do?” Why did he have to be so hot?

  “Yeah,” he said with a smile. “I’ve got an idea. Let’s ditch the parents and go to a movie.”

  Getting out of here would rock. “We can’t do that, can we?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know why not. They’d probably rather be alone anyway. Plus, they don’t ask our opinions on every move they make.”

  True. They made all kinds of plans without asking us. My spirits lifted. “Let’s do it.” I snatched a piece of cheddar and gave it to Indiana.

  Chapter Three

  Jake was right. Neither of them protested too much. And we got a twenty from each of them. Ten minutes later, Dad dropped us at the theater.

  “Text me when you pick the movie, and let me know what time it lets out,” my dad said. “You can ask the usher.”

  “I know. I will.”

  Dad waved and pulled away from the curve.

  “So what movie should we see?” Jake asked as we walked up the steps to the front of the twelve-plex.

  “I don’t care,” I said truthfully. “I’ll watch anything. As long as it’s not about divorce. I’m full up on divorce right now.”

  Jake grinned. “I know what you mean.”

  I vetoed the artsy choice. “Nothing with suicide either.”

  “Agreed.” Jake stuck his hands in his jean pockets and studied the marquee. “How do you feel about action?”

  I loved it when he stood that way. So GQ. “Action’s good. But no horror.”

  We settled on a Jackie Chan movie. Humor and action were always a winning combination in my book. I got the exact ending time and called Dad.

  Since we’d skipped dinner, we got popcorn, candy, and drinks. We passed on the withered hot dogs, but decided to risk some nachos. I didn’t have to pretend I never ate much, because I didn’t have a chance in hell with Jake anyway.

  Obviously, I’m always trying to find the up side to everything. The up side to being a witch was that I could help people with my potions. The up side to a movie with Jake, even as a friend, was that I got to go to a movie with Jake. Usually, I sat on the other side of Anya when they let me tag along on their dates. Tonight, it was just the two of us, and while it wasn’t a date, at least I wasn’t the third wheel. The role of pathetic dateless friend had grown old.

  We found seats in the auditorium and dropped the armrests to situate our drinks and snacks. Jake slouched down in his seat, adjusting his long legs in the aisle.

  His hottiness wasn’t just about looks. He had this energy about him that kind of radiated. Sitting beside him was like being wrapped in his energy field, and it felt really good.

  The previews had finished and the lights had dimmed when a couple came in. They climbed to the row in front of us as the screen grew brighter. My jaw dropped to the floor. Jake tensed.

  It was totally Anya and Brad. And they were sitting right in front of us.

  “Oh my God,” I muttered.

  “You got that right,” Jake said.

  “Should we move?”

  “No,” he said. “We’ll just ignore them.”

  “Are you sure?” I asked.

  “This sucks,” he mumbled.

  It really did. I felt sorry for him.

  Then Anya noticed us. She twisted around to see us better. “Hey,” she said. “What are you guys doing here?”

  “We bailed on our parents,” I said before Jake could answer.

  “Oh,” Anya had the grace to look a little embarrassed. “Well, um.” She looked at Brad and then at Jake. “This is weird.”

  “Hey, dude,” Brad said to Jake.

  “Hey,” Jake answered.

  They turned around to watch the movie and I crossed my fingers that we wouldn’t have to watch them make out. If they started kissing, I might have to use one of my trump cards. I didn’t want Jake to suffer.

  Jake grabbed a handful of popcorn and stuffed it into his mouth. He didn’t seem happy at all. I really doubted he could concentrate on the movie.

  We made it twenty minutes before Brad put his arm around Anya. Jake choked on a nacho. I didn’t hold out much hope for them not kissing. I’d have to get a card out. I could only do the spell while holding the card. Of course, I also had to choose one. The vomiting spell held a lot of appeal. Anya spewing up her dinner would definitely stop the making out with the added bonus that Jake would be disgusted. Using the charm that way would be more self-serving though, and the punishment would be worse. I could probably make it out of the theater in time, but I’d rather hang out with Jake.

  Jackie Chan had defeated about half the bad guys by the time Anya decided to kiss Brad. Jake kicked Brad’s chair. Brad didn’t notice, so Jake did it again harder.

  “Dude,” Brad said.

  Jake growled.

  Brad went right back to kissing Anya. Not good. A sneezing fit would break up their little tongue-swapping fest also. I could save Jake the pain without ruining Anya and Brad’s relationship. I reached down to dig for my wallet. One sneeze attack coming up.

  “Should we leave?” I whispered to Jake to distract him.

  “No,” he said, leaning closer to me. Suddenly, he didn’t seem as stressed but more like his old self. “I think I should kiss you.”

  “What? No!” Oh my God! I dropped my wallet back into my purse.

  “Why not?” he asked in a low voice that sent shivers through me.

  I made myself look at him as I whispered, “Because you don’t want to kiss me, you just want to bother Anya. And she’s my best friend.”

  “Right,” he said, backing away. “I guess we shouldn’t then.”

  Of course, I’d really hoped that he would say that he did want to kiss me and not only to bother Anya.

  “Would it help that it would also drive our parents nuts?”

  Hmmm. “Let me think for a minute,” I said. It would really mess with Dad’s head. And that excuse would be good enough for Anya. I already had a major crush. How much worse could it get? Glancing at Anya and quickly judging how dark the theater was, I said, “Okay.” I liked his plan much better than mine.

  “Okay?” He looked at me funny, like he’d thought I’d say no.

  “Yeah, do it already.” I didn’t want to lose my nerve. I mean it’s not every day the man you love offers to kiss you. The light from the screen flickered against his handsome face.

  He handed me the colossal tub of popcorn which I balanced on my knee, and I moved my drink to the other armrest so that we could even get close enough to kiss.

  Jake leaned in toward me, and I’m still not sure exactly how it happened, but my knee twitched. And the twitch tossed the extra large bucket of popcorn all over Anya and Brad. The sneeze would have made less of a mess.

  Anya shrieked. Brad jumped up, and people all over the theater turned to glare at us.

  “Jake, what do you think you’re doing?” Anya hissed. She swatted the popcorn kernels from her hair and blouse. “If you have a problem with me seeing Brad—”

  “I don’t,” Jake snapped.

  “Anya,” I said, lowering my voice and trying to calm the situation before they kicked us out. “It was my fault. You know how clumsy I am. Jake had nothing to do with it.”

  Anya eyed me for a moment. In a testament to my sad clumsiness, she believed me. “Fine.” She turned to Brad, who was still brushing himself off. “We’ll just forget the whole thing.”

  They sat down.

  Jake leaned over to me and whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

  Thank goodness it was dark in there, because I knew my face had to be flaming red.

  “Mortifying,” I moaned. “Absolutely mortifying.”

  Jake shifted in his seat, then reached out and put his arm around my shoulder. “It’s my fault,” he said.

  “It’s okay,” I said. Who knew a little em
barrassment could result in Jake putting his arm around me?

  “I guess kissing you was a bad idea,” he said, squeezing my shoulder in a halfway hug.

  “Yeah,” I said, starting to have trouble breathing. I couldn’t believe how close he was. And I still wanted to kiss him. I was dying to kiss him, bad idea or not.

  Anya and Brad were back into their make-out session, and I felt a moment of anger at Anya for rubbing it in Jake’s face. There was still time for the sneeze card.

  “Hey,” Jake said, reaching with his other hand to tilt my chin and see my eyes.

  “Huh,” I breathed, as his blonde curls drew closer.

  Then, he leaned the rest of the way and pressed his lips to mine. Oh my God! It was so much better than kissing my pillow.

  I heard some kind of noise from my throat, and he deepened the kiss, exploring my mouth, and sending my head spinning. I forgot all my problems. I even forgot that Anya was right in front of us. I just focused on my lips. And Jake’s.

  Apparently, he liked the kiss too because he didn’t stop for a long time. I threaded my fingers through his hair which felt better than I’d even imagined. My heart thumped like I’d run two miles, and my mind went all groggy while my skin felt on fire.

  When Jake finally pulled away, he kept his arm around me. “Oh my God,” he said, sagging back into his seat.

  I couldn’t even answer him. I couldn’t speak. I could barely breathe.

  “I had no idea it would be that good,” he said quietly.

  He thought it was good! “Yeah,” I managed, still trying to regain my composure. What an ending to a crappy week!

  “I always thought it would be like kissing my sister or something,” he said.

  Now, that didn’t sound good. “I’m not your sister.”

  “No, I know.” He leaned over because Anya glanced back at us. Quietly, he whispered, “We’ve known each other forever.”

  Then, it hit me that he’d thought about it before. “You’ve thought about what it’d be like to kiss me?” I asked.

  He grimaced. “I know that’s bad, but I have.”

  Cool. “It’s not bad.”

  We sat in silence for the rest of the movie. I fought the urge to jump up and down.

  When the movie ended, we gathered our trash and hurried out to avoid Anya and Brad. I was totally confused. I’d always wanted to kiss Jake, but now that I had, what we were supposed to do? Especially with his mother dating my dad.