Pulling in where they decided to practice that night, he saw her car was already there. Maybe he’d gotten confused, and they weren’t meeting at his place. They changed the place often because of paparazzi. There weren’t any around when they didn’t know where The Weeds were going to be.
I’m going to be late mate, Dustin texted already half an hour late.
Liam was already there because his motorcycle was parked by the front. A girl was laughing in the practice room. Liam probably brought one of his tramps to screw before practice. He always convinced groupies it was scandalous because the band could show up any minute, but he always texted and warned them.
Jasper figured Autumn was out back having a smoke. She didn’t think Jasper knew, but there was no way to completely keep it from him. The heavy perfume didn’t hide the telling stench of smoke on her clothes.
“Dude, you could’ve at least sent me a…” Jasper’s voice trailed off as he realized that the chick laughing was Autumn.
Liam sat beside her on the couch and she was bent down toward the table. Autumn lifted her head and wiped the white coke residue off her nose. Jasper stared for a minute not sure he believed what he was seeing.
“Hi, baby,” Autumn said, and jumped up to give him a hug.
He didn’t return it, feeling his neck and face getting hot. “Get off me.” He pulled her hands from around his neck and pushed her back a little.
“Dude, lighten up we were just getting to know each other a little better.” Liam grabbed his credit card and went back to chopping out lines.
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Jasper could feel blood boiling beneath the surface.
“What’s wrong?” Autumn tried to wrap her arms around him again.
“I said get the hell off of me.” Jasper reigned in his anger as he pulled her off him again.
Liam went to snort another one and something snapped within Jasper. He grabbed the edge of the table he was doing it on and flipped it over.
“Dude, that’s like a hundred bucks you just wasted.” Liam came up swinging.
Jasper turned at the last minute. The punch caught him on the cheek. Jasper kneed him in the stomach and bounced backward, putting up his fists. Liam coughed and leaned over his knees.
“I don’t want to fight you, Jasper. Come on, man. I’m sorry. She asked me for it.”
Just like that, he wasn’t angry with Liam anymore, he was angry at Autumn for her recklessness, and he was angry with himself for allowing their relationship to continue the way it had.
“We’re done. This is over,” he gestured to Autumn, then himself, “If you want to be a bad girl, be a bad girl. I don’t want to be with you anymore.”
“Wait, don’t leave me, Jasper. I can do better for you. I’m sorry.” Autumn’s eyes filled with tears.
“Save it.”
She cried harder, but Jasper just walked away. So much for practice. So much for anything. He needed to get away and clear his head. He couldn’t be around coke. When he was younger and dumber he’d tried drugs and immediately figured out he couldn’t handle them. It was part of the reason he usually stopped at a few drinks. His inhibitions and intelligence went down the toilet when he imbibed. It was why he’d always pretended to be a rough and tumble rock star while staying in and drinking Yoohoo. Autumn doing coke was the last straw for him; she was headed down a dark and dangerous path, and he needed to distance himself from her.
I need to go tell Hailey. She would need to know for PR reasons and to try to stop the rumors that would be flying with the breakup. He also kind of hoped she would be happy to know they were done. It was complete wishful thinking.
She was probably still at work since it was only five thirty. He got back in the car and told Carl to take him to Big Deal. Jasper couldn’t help but think of how stupid he’d been the whole time.
He was Bill’s client above all else.
“I should have fought for her, Carl, why didn’t you tell me I was being a jackass?”
“I’m assuming you’re speaking of Miss Hailey.”
“Yes, I should have told her boss if he wanted my business, he would let her date whoever she wanted. I should have stopped thinking she was too good for me and just gone for it.”
“Sir, you know I don’t interfere even when you’re being really dumb about things.” Carl winked at him in the rearview. “I’m just glad you’ve decided to finally tell her how you feel.”
Jasper nodded, he was going to. He knew she cared about him. It was time to find out how much she cared about him.
Chapter Six
Jasper walked into Big Deal, but it seemed quiet. There wasn’t anyone in except for a receptionist. They’d never had one before, and Jasper assumed it was because they were getting more clients. He knew Hailey had taken on Kaira and he figured a couple more since she wasn’t as onto his stuff as she had been.
“Hello there,” he said, startling the brunette causing her to drop the ledger she’d was holding.
“Oh wow, Jasper, hi. Sorry, I didn’t hear you come in. I’m Bernadette. I’m a huge fan.”
“I didn’t know they had a receptionist at Big Deal,” he said.
Bernadette made a noise he couldn’t quite decipher and put a hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry, you just have the best accent!”
Great, he needed to find Hailey. This chick was fan-girling.
“Sorry, you needed someone? Hailey is your agent, right? They left to go to dinner. I work until six while Bill is gone. I think they said Marcos’ but I’m not one hundred percent on that.”
“They?” Jasper knew who it was, but wanted to hear the receptionist say it, anyway.
“Hailey and Matt. It really is a pleasure to meet you.” She was beet red and looked down at her desk.
He reached out and shook her hand. “Pleasure was mine.”
He was upset Hailey was out with Matthew. He’d suspected she might give the bastard another chance, and he’d been sort of ignoring the little suspicious inkling he had. Besides, he’d been with Autumn; it hadn’t mattered. Now he wasn’t anymore, and he was jealous. The thought gripped a hold of him and threatened to knock him over.
“I’m going for a walk,” he told Carl.
His driver looked confused but nodded. Marcos’ wasn’t too far from Big Deal and for some reason he really wanted to see for himself. If she was happy, who was he to judge even if Matthew was not the right person for her? It struck him he was thinking these thoughts as someone who had a say in what she did. He didn’t.
When he reached Marcos’, he looked in. There they were at a table for two. Hailey was laughing and touching his arm and she looked genuinely happy. There was a dull pain in his chest. He’d completely blown any chance he had with her. Why didn’t he just tell her to drop him as a client and go for it with her? Why didn’t he just tell Bill that Hailey could date who she wanted whether she worked for him or not? He had the resources to take care of her until she found another job. There were so many things going through his head he was getting dizzy.
Defeated, he slowly made his way back to the car and had Carl take him home. He would get drunk and go to bed. Once he had a few large gulps of liquor, he started to write. He couldn’t help it; the words were flowing. All of his feelings: shame, sadness, resentment, anger, and jealousy amassed in one insane writing session. The drunker he got the more he wrote until finally he’d been at it for over two hours.
The words ran together from staring at the page so long. He’d messed up pretty bad with Hailey and Autumn. The song was about going back and doing things differently and he fell asleep with that wish on his mind.
***
The clanking of forks and knives around her caused Hailey to anticipate their food. The restaurant was buzzing with every table filled so they were waiting a while for their food. Matthew picked at a dinner roll sitting in front of him.
“So, I can’t take back what a huge dick I was to you, but I am sorry,” Matthew said.
&nb
sp; “You’re right, you are a huge dick.”
“Whoa, okay I deserved that. I guess you’ll never let me go back up to your apartment again.”
“You’re right about that. I don’t even know what I saw in you,” Hailey said with a smile. It was good to get how she felt out.
“Ouch.” Matthew took a large bite of his food.
“We can be co-workers though. I think starting over on that front is fine.”
“I agree. So, let’s talk about this sex tape thing. I have to admit, I’d watch it.”
“Matthew, focus please,” Hailey said.
“Right okay. So, I think I know some people that run in her circles so I’ll be able to dredge up something to keep her from putting it out. There’s no way someone like her doesn’t have a low, and I’ll find it.”
“Okay, great, I’ll tell Jasper we have a plan at least. This makes me feel a lot better about things.”
“Good, now enjoy your meal and I’ll take you home.”
Matthew winked at her. She felt good about the way things were going with him. She’d never have a crush or romantic feeling about him again, but being friends she could handle.
“Listen, I’m an ass. I should have given this more of a chance.” He gestured between them. “You like Jasper, you just need to go for it.”
That took her completely off guard.
“What are you talking about?”
“You need to go for what you want. You shouldn’t wait for it to happen.”
“What changed your mind? Why are you so nice all of a sudden?” Hailey eyed him with suspicion. There was making nice and then there was going overboard.
“A girl I met, she’s knocked me down a couple notches. Let’s not make a big deal about it.”
Hailey thought she could be mad about the fact he didn’t change for her, or even treat her like a person. She decided to move past it.
“You really think I can get him, I mean he’s dating a model.”
“They aren’t happy. I can tell, Hailey. Just go for it okay. My nice meter is about to fill up.”
The food finally came and was worth the wait. Hailey felt good about the meal and the company. She relaxed as she enjoyed her steak and argued with Matthew over who would pay. He won taking the check from her.
Hailey left the dinner full of hope and nervous energy. She decided to go home and change out of her work pants. If she was going to do this, she was going to do this right.
If she was going to do this, she also needed some liquor and a big dose of confidence. It made her wish that she and Sam were still talking so she could boost her up. It was okay though because it was time to start being a big girl and doing things on her own. All these thoughts swam through her head as she approached her building.
***
Hailey sat in her car nervously checking her appearance in the mirror for any imperfections. She was not great with makeup. That was more Sam’s area too, but she didn’t think it looked that bad.
As she smoothed on her lipstick, she let her mind wander. She couldn’t believe she was finally letting Jasper know how she truly felt about him. Maybe he would say he felt the same way and would go right then to break up with Autumn and they would finally be together.
A small part of her felt guilty taking him away from Autumn, if that was even possible. She couldn’t wait to see his easy smile again and hear him call her Little Bird.
As she went to open the car door, everything in her purse spilled out and she made a mental note to calm down. As she put everything back into her purse, her hands shook. Their next conversation would determine their relationship, she decided. If he didn’t feel the same way about her, she was going to focus on him only as a faceless client from here on out. Well it would be hard not to see his handsome face, but she could get rid of any romantic feelings and be professional.
Who was she kidding? She had a personal interest in all her clients and mostly had their well-being as her primary objective. Whether or not he had feelings for her, this would probably be her last conversation with Jasper as her client. Matthew would take over for her and it would be fine.
As the metal doors of the elevator closed, she took another quick glance at herself in their mirrored doors. After many changes she had chosen to wear a see-through, lower cut, and black lacey top, with a black camisole underneath, and a hip hugging pencil skirt with a slit that made her legs look long and much thinner than they were. Optical illusion, she thought to herself with a smile.
These were things that before now she would never have worn together. Heck, she wouldn’t have worn it at all. It was a good-looking outfit, a far cry from the unremarkable look of her past. After changing from dress, to pants, to jeans, to this she felt like she’d made a good choice.
She wanted the perfect outfit to make Jasper see how serious she was about him. Was she even in the same league as Autumn? Her body was curvy but in all the right places, and she had just as perky boobs but she felt plain looking next to the trouble making, usually scantily clad, glowing Goddess that was Autumn. Since she had started changing the way she dressed, she was trying to change her attitude about herself. Listing her attributes was helpful, but she needed to stop comparing herself to Autumn, Tara, Kaira, and any other woman out there.
As the doors opened on Jasper’s floor, she hoped the song he wrote for her meant he felt the same and she wouldn’t leave feeling worse about herself as she had that night Autumn had barged in. Playfully knocking a tune on his door, she waited for him to open the door, apologize, and greet her with a smile.
Knock, Knock, knock, knock, knock, wait a few seconds… knock, knock.
“Jasper,” she called his name too excitedly.
Jasper opened the door, his face anything but cordial. After a split-second surprise at her appearance, he looked completely indifferent toward her, almost disgusted as he waved her in.
“Are you here to tell me some crap that I have to go to?” Jasper asked, plopping down in a chair away from her.
She sat across from him on the couch. “Um no, I didn’t come here for scheduling purposes, I came here to finally tell you something.” She took a deep breath to calm herself before laying it all out on the line.
He jumped up interrupting her. “I already know about everything you came here to tell me, and I don’t even know how to tell you how much I don’t care. I think from now on if I’m going to remain a client of yours, we should keep it professional. I have a few people coming over soon, and I need to shower and get ready so if you don’t have anything work related, I think you should go.” He pointed toward the door and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door closed.
She sat there stuck in place on his couch, tears burning her eyes. She ran through every memory of them together and her chest tightened. She should have known better than to think he would even look twice her way. She felt like he had led her on, but for what? To get better gigs or better appearances? She had the same sinking feeling she’d experienced in high school when her popular friends would get her to finish their papers. Rage filled every fiber of her being.
“Jasper!” she screamed as loud as possible.
The bathroom door opened and he stood there wearing nothing but holding a towel in front of him. He must have been startled and had to come out of the shower “Why are you screaming like a banshee? What is wrong with you?” he yelled back.
“What is wrong with me? You need to figure out what you want, Jasper Daly! You need to decide whether you want to be the good guy or the bad guy. If you want to be the bad guy every time we talk or see each other that is fine with me. I will gladly quit representing you. I don’t have to deal with you treating me like a piece of trash just to get a paycheck. I have plenty of clients with huge followings that are going to be huge stars!”
She got up and walked into the hall toward the elevator to leave, fighting back tears. Was this real life? He knew that she had real feelings for him and was acting like she was some fan girl tha
t he had no time for. Had it all been in her mind? Every smile, every touch, every moment between them? As the elevator doors closed, tears threatened to show the world how hurt she really was.
She laughed at herself in the reflection. “Who were you kidding, Hailey? He’s a rock star.” She tried to gather herself before she walked out. The lobby was full of people and she was sure one or two members of the press had snuck in to see if they could get up to his room. It wouldn’t do for her to be upset. Pulling back her shoulders and wiping the liner from under her eyes, she marched off the elevator and past all the people with purpose.
Hailey waited until she was far enough away from Jasper’s she could duck into an ally and buried her face in her hands. She couldn’t stop the tears from falling down her face. She couldn’t push her feelings to the side anymore.
“Screw this.”
There was nothing in the world that Hailey wanted more than to be with Jasper. It just sounded right Hailey and Jasper. She had let her feelings stay hidden for too long. What used to be a physical attraction had grown into so much more.
She had come to tell him something, she thought, and by God, she wouldn’t leave until she had.
Making the decision to embarrass herself once again, she bent down beside an old brown clunker and tried to fix her makeup in the dusty rearview window. Taking an evaluation of her post-breakdown-in- an-alley face, she saw her eyeliner was smeared and there were streaks down her cheeks. She quickly whipped out a tissue, wet it with her lips to fix her smeared liner, and used her compact sponge to smooth over where the tears had left their mark. Now to pull my shit together.
If she had only had a swig of alcohol, she could feel like Elizabeth Taylor. She wished in this moment that she were the type of woman that always had a flask tucked in a sexy garter on her thigh as she walked back toward the hotel, dialing Jasper’s number in her phone.
Managed 4 (Managed #4) Page 5
