Becoming Calder

by Mia Sheridan

  I mopped up the water on my floor with a blanket at the end of my bed and then got back under my covers, feeling relieved yet still unsettled. I closed my eyes and said a prayer to the God of Mercy. He would always be my favorite.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Calder

  The speakers went up the morning after I sneaked into Eden's room. Twelve of them in all, placed so wherever you were on Acadia, you could hear one of Hector's sermons being broadcasted.

  I saw a few workers shooting each other confused looks as the sermons played on and on, only quieting once the sun set. Then it was like a sigh of relief just to hear your own thoughts. Everyone seemed to want to stay in the quiet of their own head after that and the usual chatter and laughter around the evening bonfires workers built mostly ceased. If we did talk, it was in quiet whispers. The mood shifted and no one seemed to know what to make of it exactly. My parents, though, seemed to be quietly accepting. At Temple, as I sat next to Hannah, Hector didn't explain the meaning of his broadcasted sermons. Instead, he repeated some of the same ones he had already given, growing quiet here and there as he stared off into space as if listening to someone, before he found his place again and continued on.

  I saw him watching me though, his eyes meeting mine and lingering there, looking as if he suddenly didn't know who I was and was trying to figure it out. He didn't look at anyone else like that. I grabbed Hannah's hand and held it in mine and Hector's eyes moved down to our laced fingers and finally moved away. I couldn't help but to exhale. I didn't know what was going on with Hector, but something wasn't right. His hair was a mess, it looked like he'd slept in his clothes, and there were bags under his eyes. We needed to leave as quickly as possible.

  Hannah squeezed my hand in hers and a pang of guilt raced through me. Not just because I was touching a woman who wasn't Eden, but also because Hannah was a nice girl, and she seemed happy with our engagement. It would hurt her when I simply disappeared. But it couldn't be helped. Hector had forced my hand and used Hannah as a pawn.

  At the front of the Temple, Eden looked away. Be strong, Morning Glory, I whispered in my mind.

  A week after the speakers went up, Hector declared we'd all be participating in special prayer sessions three times a day at the Temple. Truthfully, the prayer sessions were a quiet blessing. The heavy walls kept the broadcasted sermons out, and we all were able to sit quietly for an hour at a time.

  I didn't talk to the gods anymore. Instead, I talked to Maya in my head, telling her about everything that'd gone on since she died. I told her all about Eden, and the things I'd never gotten to say to her when she was alive: she and Xander had always been my best friends, I was so proud of her, and I missed her every single day.

  Xander and I also used the prayer sessions to quickly update each other on the progress of our money situation. Xander had been able to sneak into the council members' cars and take thirty-seven dollars total in change and dollar bills. He thought he'd left just enough to not make it look too suspicious. He'd even scored a gold chain in one car and a gold keychain in another. Apparently, the price of gold in the city was pretty high, or so Kristi had told him and it was common for people to sell it.

  He kept it all under his floorboard at home, all ready to grab, along with the clothes he'd saved.

  The problem with being in Temple so much during the day was the crops were being neglected and under the intense heat of the Arizona sun, the neglect began to take its toll. Only a few weeks later, our beans and vegetables were wilting, and the fruit from the fruit trees ripened and fell to the ground where the birds pecked at them.

  If this went on much longer, we'd all starve to death. Hector had to know that.

  One quiet morning in Temple, Hector walked to the front and stood looking at us quietly for several minutes before he finally spoke. "There is a thief among us."

  My heart dropped and I glanced very quickly at Xander who continued to stare straight ahead at Hector, unblinking.

  Hector looked around at the crowd. "There was a gold necklace stolen from one of the council member's cars. Who knows something of this?"

  Holy hell.

  No one said a word. You could have heard a pin drop on the other side of the room.

  "No one?" Hector questioned. He leaned forward on the podium and waited, looking around again, his eyes landing on me and staying there for several beats. Finally he looked away.

  "Eden, will you step forward, please?"

  Eden's eyes rose to Hector, a confused look coming over her face. She stood and walked to him.

  "If no one has the courage to stand and confess to their crime, an innocent will suffer the punishment. My own true love will suffer the punishment. For you see," he stood back, "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, I AM WILLING TO SACRIFICE MY OWN FOR YOUR SINS," he shouted. Eden startled and stepped back. "I WILL MAR MY BELOVED'S PERFECT SKIN FOR YOU."

  My whole body tensed and fury raced down my spine. I saw Hannah in my peripheral vision looking over at me, but I didn't look back.

  I started to step forward myself when Xander's voice rang out. "It was me, Father. I stole the necklace."

  Hector's head swiveled over to Xander and his eyes narrowed on him. The crowd all shifted nervously, glancing between Xander and Hector.

  I opened my mouth to say something, but then closed it again. If I said something, I'd likely make this worse for all three of us. Every muscle in my body was tensed for fight, and my brain started working out the path I'd take to Eden and how quickly I could get there.

  Hector leaned forward casually on the podium. "Xander Garen," he said, pushing his now overly long hair out of his eyes. "Where is this necklace?"

  Xander hesitated. "I'll go retrieve it for you, Father."

  "No, I'll send someone to retrieve it. Tell me where it is."

  Oh no.

  I closed my eyes briefly and then opened them, looking down. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Xander open his mouth and then close it again. He was stuck.

  "The truth is, Father, I couldn't explain it exactly. I'd need to accompany the person."

  Hector stared at Xander with narrowed eyes and I held my breath. "Very well," he finally said and I exhaled. Maybe if Xander went along, he'd have time to push the other items out of the way. Something. Anything. If not, we'd be back to square one. I felt like I might vomit.

  "Clive," Hector barked, "escort the boy to retrieve your stolen property."

  I dared to glance at Eden and her face was blanched of all color, her expression shocked. I looked away.

  Clive walked to Xander slowly, took him by the arm, and they exited the Temple as my heart rate tripled. My mind raced, too, trying to figure out what I could do. I looked back up at the stage and Hector's hand was still on Eden. If I ran after Xander, making a spectacle of my disobedience, I'd be leaving Eden alone with Hector. Would he do something to her to punish me? Something had come unhinged in his mind. I didn't even want to consider what it might be.

  Hector stood with Eden at his podium, finishing his sermon, although what I focused on sounded disjointed and Hector stumbled over his own words several times. Eden stared down at the floor, the color barely returning to her face.

  What seemed like a lifetime later, but in reality was probably only twenty minutes or so, Hector began the final prayer. When we all filtered out, I noticed people looking at others with questioning expressions on their faces. Everyone knew something was happening in Acadia that no one could exactly explain. And everyone was uneasy.

  Suddenly, the sight of Xander, kneeling on the ground with his hands tied around a post came into view. Clive Richter stood behind him, a long cord in his hands. My entire body tensed and I didn't even have time to consider before I started running toward them. "Grab him!" I heard Hector yell and somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought I heard Eden scream.

  Strong arms grabbed me from the side and pulled me back, and as I turned to fight the person off me, someone else grabbed me from the side. Co
uncil members, Garrett Shipley and Ken Wahl, held me as the first whip crack sounded. It enraged me, sending adrenaline coursing through my system. I elbowed Ken in the face and then used my free arm to punch Garrett, sending blood spraying as he yelped and brought his hands up to his broken nose. As they both let go of me, I ran forward again.

  "Stop, Calder," Xander yelled. Reluctantly, I stopped in my tracks. His head was hanging and his jaw was tight, but he widened his eyes and shook his head, instructing me to stay back. I didn't know what to do. Everything in my body was screaming at me to fight for my friend, but he was asking me not to. I brought my hands up into my hair and raked my fingers across my scalp, wanting to roar with anger.

  Garrett and Ken came up behind me and grabbed my arms again. I didn't resist, didn't look at them.

  Clive brought the whip back and let it fly again and this time I watched as it hit Xander's naked back, opening his skin in a long, raw, red line. Xander jerked, but remained quiet. Oh, Xander. My brother, my friend. I grimaced, closing my eyes briefly.

  Clive brought the whip back again, the expression on his face filled with some sort of disgusting glee, and let it fly, creating a third welt on Xander's flesh.

  Two more times the whip flew and two more times Xander jerked but didn't utter a sound.

  "That's enough, Clive," Hector called. Clive looked over at him, seeming to come back to himself, his chest rising and falling in heavy pants. "I think justice has been served for the thievery. Did you get your chain back? Do you feel vindicated?"

  Clive seemed to consider the question, looking back at Xander who was hunched over, his back a mess of blood and open wounds. "Yes," he said, dropping the whip on the ground and turning to walk back toward the main lodge.

  Hector nodded over at Garrett and Ken. "Let him go. I think this served as a lesson to him, too. You can accompany your friend to the sick tent." I heard women crying around me, but I didn't turn to look at anyone in the crowd.

  My arms were released and I rushed forward to Xander, kneeling down in the dirt beside him. "Hey, brother," I said gently, "let's get you off here."

  Xander grimaced as I began to untie the rope binding his wrists. "Fuck me, it hurts, Calder," Xander grunted. He must have been in excruciating pain because I had never once heard him use the obscenity some of the people who came from the big society let slip once in a while.

  I let out a breath, working the knot as gently as I could, so I moved Xander as little as possible. "Why didn't you let me pull him off you?" I asked, not able to keep the bitterness from my voice.

  "He would have just whipped you, too. And then probably locked you up."

  "I would have taken it."

  "I know," Xander said as the rope came free and he fell forward, using his palms to brace himself on the ground. "Whatever I have—"

  "That's right." I pulled Xander up to his feet and took his arm and put it around my shoulders, so he could lean on me to walk.

  "He got our money. Every cent of it," Xander said, his voice hollow. "The only thing I was able to push out of the way as I reached in was the bag of clothes. I told him there was a nest of snakes that lived under our house and that I couldn't remember which floorboard it was under. That's the only reason he didn't reach in himself. Coward. And hypocrite, he stuffed the rest of the cash in his pocket. I doubt if he's even going to mention it to Hector."

  My heart fell at the news that our money was gone. But talking about it was the last thing Xander needed. "Is there a nest of snakes that live under your house?" I asked, trying to distract him as we made our way to the sick tent.

  Xander glanced at me. "No. A few mice, but thank the gods they were moving around when Clive was there or else he'd have gotten our clothes, too."

  I couldn't help it, I laughed. "What are we gonna do with the clothes, without the money?"

  "We're gonna walk out of here, that's what."

  I considered that. I thought we might have to, considering how close the date of my wedding to Hannah was, and now that our thievery had been discovered, but it was far from the way we'd originally planned it. Dread settled in my stomach. We'd be leaving with absolutely nothing except the clothes on our backs—clothes that would blend in in normal society, true. So I guessed there was that. I felt like I might be sick.

  We got to the sick tent and I helped Xander to one of the clean cots and he lay down on his stomach. There was a small cabinet I knew from being there with Maya over the years that had bandaging supplies. I hoped Mother Willa would arrive soon with the pain medicine she'd given me for my legs, but for now, I'd have to do what I could for Xander.

  As I washed his wounds with a cloth and clean water, I talked to distract him. Even so, each time I brought the water to his back, he winced and grimaced.

  "Remember that time you gave me chicken pox?" I asked.

  Xander snorted. "You gave me chicken pox." He smiled a small smile as I wrung the cloth out, the water turning red.

  "And the worst part about it," he continued, "is I only had about six of them and you were covered, and I'm the one who got a scar." He tapped his finger on the small, round divot next to his eyebrow.

  I laughed softly, bringing the cloth to his back again. He winced.

  "As soon as you're ready to leave the sick tent," I said, "you can do that stupid bird call and we'll meet Eden at the spring. We'll have to wing it." Fear raced down my spine at not being able to guarantee I could keep Eden safe and fed.

  "Stupid?" Xander's eyes began to close. "That bird call is perfection. Other nighthawks can't even tell I'm not one of their own."

  I chuckled, patting Xander's back dry with a clean cloth.

  "Will you go get those clothes, Calder? My parents will be out on the perimeter right now. I think we should keep them in here with us so we don't have to go back there." A sad note came into his voice when he mentioned his parents. I frowned. We were men, but we'd never been away from them a day in our lives. And this would break their hearts. But with what was happening in Acadia, I had to believe it would do everyone good if we'd leave. Of course, Eden was another story altogether.

  My thoughts were interrupted when Mother Willa bustled through the door. I stood up. She looked at me and walked to the cot where Xander lay, now drowsing. I nodded at her. She obviously didn't need any instruction.

  "Xander, I'm gonna make a trip to the outhouse. I'll be back."

  Xander made a soft, half-grunt, half-snore.

  As I passed her, Mother Willa grabbed my arm. Her eyes looked misty, unfocused, and something about them sent fear swirling in my belly.

  "Go to the far, left corner," she said.

  I shook my head. "What?"

  "The far, left corner," she said again. "It's the only place where you'll live."

  "Live? I . . . what?"

  She let go of me and went to Xander who was still snoring.

  I walked outside and instead of going to the outhouse, I made a quick detour to Xander's cabin, knocking on the door once. When no one answered, I snuck inside, closing the door behind me. I didn't have to try to guess which floorboard it was. The one Xander used as his storage facility was still out of place. I kneeled down next to it and reached my hand inside. Something skittered by my wrist and I jerked my hand back, grunting in surprised disgust. "Mice. Just mice," I murmured, reaching back inside.

  When I was bent in up to my shoulder, my hand hit fabric and I grabbed it and pulled it out. It was a canvas bag, secured at the top with a rope, and obviously full of what would be our getaway clothes. I didn't bother to return the floorboard to its place. Instead I ducked out of the cabin, the bag over my shoulder and walked purposefully back toward the sick tent. When I was almost there, someone grabbed my arm and I dropped the bag and spun around, ready to fight whomever it was off of me.

  It was Hannah. She stood in front of me wringing her hands. It looked as if she'd been crying. "Hannah," I breathed out.

  "Calder, that was awful." She let out a small cry. "Why
did Xander do that? Is he okay?"

  I picked up the bag and considered how to answer. "He'll be okay. I need to get back in to check on him. You go on home, all right?"

  Her worried, brown eyes blinked at me. "I'm scared, Calder," she whispered. "Something's happening here, and I'm confused. My mom and dad say it's just because the great flood is drawing nearer and more is being asked of us, but . . . it scares me."

  I paused, not knowing what to tell her. I cared for Hannah. I'd grown up with her. We'd played together as kids. I didn't love her though, not like that. "Hannah, listen, if anything . . . happens to me, there are, well, you have choices. You don't have to live here all your life if you don't want to."

  Her eyes widened. "I want to. I want to marry you, Calder. I want to go to Elysium with you."

  I let out a breath, feeling guilty. "I have to get inside. Just . . . just remember what I said, okay?"

  She nodded, looking confused and I pulled her toward me, kissing the top of her head. "Okay."

  When I got inside the tent, Mother Willa was already gone, but Xander's back was bandaged and he was snoring quietly.

  I stuffed the bag under my own cot and lay down next to Xander to rest. I clasped my hands behind my head, dying inside because I couldn't go to Eden right now. I had to believe she was locked safely up in her room, away from Hector. In a couple days, we'd call to her and make our escape. Images swam through my head of Eden climbing out her window, Hector's hand reaching out to grab her, then Eden scaling the roof, falling, the sound of breaking bones barely muffled beneath her screams. I startled awake and looked around wildly. I'd fallen asleep without meaning to. "Just a dream," I whispered, falling back onto the cot.

  But then I heard the sound that must have woken me the first time—a faraway nighthawk cry—only this one was strange and imperfect, and in the voice of a female. Eden.

  Xander raised his head and looked around dazedly, still lying on his stomach where he'd fallen asleep. He fell back onto the cot, out cold. I remembered what it felt like after Mother Willa had given me the pain powder. I didn't even know my own name, coming to here and there in fits and starts, unable to move or think clearly.