Sam's World

by Ann Williams

Marina gave a sudden start, sat up and looked around. All was quiet. Her glance leaped to the man on the bed. With a sinking feeling, she realized that he hadn’t moved. Whatever had awakened her, it hadn’t been him. Putting a hand to his forehead, she felt the coolness of his skin and pulled the blanket up closer around his neck.

  Leaning back in her chair, she realized someone had come in while she slept and placed a blanket over her. Snuggling down into its warmth, she yawned. Her limbs were stiff, her tailbone ached from the hardness of the rough wooden chair and her neck had a permanent crick in it. And though she longed for a bed to stretch out on, she would not even consider leaving Sammell’s side. Her glance moved to the empty area beside her love. As she well knew, the bed was plenty big enough for two—and so soft!

  Sitting in this hard chair was ridiculous. She was tired and cold—and Sammell was cold, too. They could at least give each other warmth.

  Scooting from the chair, she climbed onto the bed beside him and spread both blankets over them. Putting her arms around him, she settled down to sleep with her head against his shoulder, the reassuring beat of his heart echoing in her ear like a lullaby that sang her to sleep.

  The next day Sammell’s people prepared to leave the caves in groups of two or three. Gissel explained that it would be easier and safer for them to get past the police in small numbers without arousing suspicion.

  Marina was shocked to learn that everyone was going to simply walk nonchalantly out of the city as though they were going about their daily business. Everyone except the women who were obviously pregnant. They would travel the same route as Marina and Sammell through the underground tunnels as far as the edge of the city.

  Darryn and Gissel went first and alone. No one knew what route they would take. It was safer for them. Over the police radio that morning they had learned that their pictures were being circulated by Bartell. They would travel quickly and in secret.

  Everyone would rendezvous at a given spot outside the city. When it came time for Marina and Sammell to leave, they were moved through the tunnels slowly. Some of the turns in the passageways were quite narrow, and it was difficult carrying a stretcher through them.

  Marina watched Sammell closely for signs of regaining consciousness or a worsening of his condition, growing more concerned about him with each passing hour. Though not a nurse, she knew that extended unconsciousness was not a good sign, and the longer it lasted the less likely he’d ever regain full consciousness without brain damage.

  The trip was tedious and it took all day. They came close to one police guard, but in the cover of trees managed to escape without notice.

  As they were waiting to make their way past them, Marina thought about the cloaking device Sammell had used in his lab to prevent anyone from seeing her. It had worked against the police the day they’d invaded Sammell’s lab. These people could use something like that. If Sammell…when Sammell regained consciousness, she would speak to him about it.

  At the rendezvous point, Marina and her party were met by a large group from the caves who assisted them through the winding path up the foothills. By dusk they were at the base camp. This was not their final destination, Marina learned, merely a stopping-off place to rest, eat, spend the night and receive warmer clothing. The temperature in the mountains was not so easily controlled as in the cities.

  Marina asked about Gissel and learned that she and Darryn were already on the next leg of their journey. They would catch up with them sometime the next day.

  That night they slept on blankets out in the open. Fires were prohibited after dark because they might be seen by a police patrol looking for them.

  A mountain lay at their backs, and guards had been posted on the three open sides. And Marina still didn’t feel safe. She hadn’t felt safe since Sammell had left her to go on his mission and returned to her in this state of suspended animation—lost to her and to the world.

  Unable to sleep, she sat with her back against the mountain, studying his face in the firelight, noting the strong thrust of his jaw, the cleft in his chin and the straight line of his nose. Though blond like his hair, in the flickering light, his eyelashes looked like black fans lying against his pale cheeks.

  Her heart swelled with emotion. How she loved every dear feature of his face. And how she longed to see that face filled with warmth and expression.

  One of the men sleeping nearby rolled to his feet and strolled toward her. “Is there anything you need?”

  “No, we’re fine,” she answered softly. “Thank you.”

  With a nod, he left her to return to his blankets. Everyone had been very accommodating since they’d arrived at the camp, offering to do anything to help her care for Sammell.

  On the other side of the camp, someone removed a pot from the spit over one of the dead fires and poured himself a drink. Marina wondered what Sammell would say if he knew she’d eaten a stew made with meat that night. She hadn’t asked what kind, thinking it better not to know.

  She’d spooned some of the broth between Sammell’s lips and he’d swallowed it. Or at least she told herself he’d swallowed some of it. For a little while afterward, his cheeks had seemed pinker, but that could have only been her imagination.

  She wanted him to be better so desperately. Becoming aware that her hands were clenched so tight that the nails were biting into her flesh, she forced herself to open her fingers. Raising her hands to her face, she peered closely at the half moons indented on both palms.

  Trying for a calmness she didn’t feel, she took a deep breath, rested her head against the rock behind her and raised her eyes to the stars. She found the brightest one and made a wish.

  A strong scent of burning wood lingered in the air, though the fires had long been extinguished, and in the distance she heard the lonely howl of a coyote. A shiver raced over her skin at the sound. That’s how she felt…alone…terribly alone…without Sammell.

  “Dear God,” she whispered beneath her breath, “let him be well.”

  “How did stars get into the cave?”

  “Sammell? Sammell!” Marina cast her blankets aside and launched herself at him. And then, remembering he was an injured man, she restrained her exuberance and contented herself with kneeling at his side.

  “How do you feel?” she asked quickly, touching his forehead and cheek. “Are you in pain?”

  “My head hurts.” He lifted a hand to his bruised temple. “What happened?”

  “You were in an accident. Do you remember going with Darryn and the others to the lab where you worked?”

  “No…yes…yes, I do.”

  “You didn’t make it out of the building before it blew. There’s a bruise on your temple and some scratches on your face and hands. I’ve been worried about internal injuries. How do you feel?”

  “I feel all right inside. It is my head—it hurts.”

  “You took quite a blow, but it will heal.”

  “Was anyone else injured?”

  “No—only you.”

  “That is good.”

  “Are you hungry? Would you like something to drink? You haven’t taken much nourishment since the accident. I managed to get a little broth down you, but you need more.”

  “I do not need nourishment or drink, thank you.” He looked around the camp. “We are no longer in the cave.” It was a statement, not a question.

  “No. We’re in the mountains. This is a base camp. Tomorrow we travel higher.”

  “Darryn? Gissel? Are they here?”

  “No. They have gone on ahead. I understand that we’ll catch up with them tomorrow.”

  “MDAT? Did they get MDAT out all right?”

  “Yes. They had to hide it, but Darryn and Gissel have it now.”

  “Good. That is good.”

  “What about Larkin? Did you have to go to his cell to find the mother board? In the confusion of the moment, I forgot to ask Darryn, and Gissel didn’t mention it.”

  “There was no time.” He tried to si
t up on his own and Marina helped him.

  “Well, you destroyed MDAT’s twin, so that should be enough. What good is the mother board without the machine?”

  Sammell shook his head, winced and paused to let the world stop spinning before he continued. “You do not know Larkin. He is a brilliant scientist. He may have another machine hidden somewhere. Something must be done about him, or we will never be safe.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I realized tonight—the night we went to the lab—that destroying the government’s MDAT and even their blueprints for it was not enough. For our safety Larkin must join us. If he does not…” He let the sentence hang and Marina chose not to take him up on its implications. There were other, more immediate, problems to face.

  “Sammell, I know this isn’t a good time for this, but I think you should know that we are on our way to join a group of rebels from the north. With their help, Darryn is planning a large-scale assault on your city. They aren’t waiting for you to travel into the past and complete your mission.”

  “I was afraid something like this would happen. Tomorrow, when we reach the mountain camp, I will talk with Darryn. Once I have you safely away from here, I will get MDAT and make my journey, no matter what Darryn and the others plan.”

  “I’m not going,” Marina said abruptly, a stubborn note in her voice. “I’ve decided to stay here. My home is here.”

  “Your home is a long way from here. And it is my responsibility to see that you get back to it. You are going,” he added, matching the stubbornness in her voice.

  Pushing the blanket away, he tried to get to his feet. Marina helped him, keeping a hand on his arm to steady him until he’d gotten his bearings.

  In a taut silence, they walked a little way from the camp, toward the darkness near the edge of the cliff. A guard stepped out of the shadows holding his weapon before him, pointed at them. But when he recognized them, he gave them a brief salute and disappeared silently into the darkness.

  “Where did he get the weapon?” Sammell asked.

  “A few were taken from Government House last night after the explosion.”

  Sammell’s jaw tightened. Perhaps it was inevitable, but he just couldn’t see the good in such things. If he had his way, all the weapons would be vaporized and no one would be allowed to produce more. As long as there were weapons, there would be no peace—no lasting peace.

  As they stood looking out over the valley below, which lay mostly in darkness, a sense of tranquility began to weave its way through Sammell despite his misgivings about Darryn’s plans. There was so much beauty in the world, and suddenly he very much wanted the time to enjoy it. He’d spent most of his life shut away in a lab working on one government project after another. And when he wasn’t doing that, he’d worked on his own inventions and experiments.

  Over the years, since his parents’ disappearance, he’d stolen away at night whenever he could and gone to the woods, looking for the peace and freedom missing from his life, but he now recognized those times for what they were—acts of defiance against the government.

  His glance moved from the valley below up the hillside, where shafts of moonlight silvered the tops of the trees. A deep sigh eased its way up his throat. How picturesque it all looked.

  “I don’t want to go back,” Marina said again, taking up the battle once more. “Sammell, please—I want to stay here with you.”

  Sammell sighed again, but this time it was a heavy sound filled with despair. “You have not given this enough thought. Do you fully understand the magnitude of what you are saying? You would be giving up home and family to stay in a strange land with people who mean nothing to you.”

  He turned to her, able to read her expression in the moonlight. “It would be forever. The choice you make will be forever. I have made a decision. Once I have done what I have set out to do—once the drug has been destroyed—I am going to destroy MDAT.”

  “What?” she asked in alarm. “But that’s your life’s work—why would you want to destroy it?”

  “So no one else can use it to bring harm to others. Do you not understand the temptation?”

  He was talking about more than one kind of temptation. Knowing he could get to her even after she was gone would be a temptation he knew he’d be unable to resist. And traveling back and forth in time would be dangerous. Eventually someone—perhaps someone like Wyndom—would learn of it and then this horror, the horror of his world, might begin all over again. The only difference would be in the identity of the puppet master. And he couldn’t let that happen.

  Seeing the understanding settle in her eyes, he took hold of her shoulders, pulling her up close. A gentle breeze began to blow, sifting through the silky tangle of her hair. It blew a strand across his lips. And instead of removing it, he moved his lips in a kiss, and in her eyes he saw the reflection of his own desire.

  His hands tightened as his glance traveled over her face, his senses—his body—alive to everything about her. Her ivory-smooth skin smelled so sweet that it made his head spin. And the living moistness of her full mouth was a temptation he found hard to resist—but he had to resist.

  He had to make her understand that she couldn’t stay. Now that he had learned what it was to know a close companionship with another, to share thoughts and feelings with that person, to have joined with that person as he had joined with Marina, knowing he would never join with another in that special way, he knew he had to send her home. She was his family. But she had another family with whom she belonged. And he knew there was nothing so bad as the absolute, unremitting loneliness of being without one. He could not let her make a decision she would live to regret.

  “You must go,” he whispered in a tortured voice. “Your place is with family, not strangers.”

  “You are not a stranger,” Marina reminded him.

  Thrusting her from him before he pulled her into his arms, Sammell pretended to study the view, his hands clenched at his sides, working to get these raw emotions he had not yet learned to handle under control. The thought of sending her away ripped the heart out of him. It was a pain in his gut that far outweighed any pain he’d ever know. But she had to go—he couldn’t accept anything less than knowing that she was far from this place of battle and strife, safe in the arms of her family.

  “I want you to know that I will never forget you.” He couldn’t keep the words back. “I will think of you always. You have given me something…” He stopped abruptly, the words stuck at the back of his throat.

  After a moment he cleared his throat and continued. “You have given me something very precious. I can never thank you enough for that.”

  “Thanks!” Marina cried, dying inside, feeling helpless and wanting to strike out at someone. “I don’t want your thanks.” Placing a hand on his arm, she turned him to face her. “I love you, Sam. Don’t you understand that?”

  She stared up into his face, looking for a response she could understand. But Sammell tore his gaze from hers and focused on the distance, his expression impassive.

  “I am willing to give up all that I know to follow you,” Marina whispered in a broken voice. “Doesn’t that mean anything to you? I love you!” When he made no response, she struck him lightly on the chest, a futile gesture that did little more than reflect her feelings of helplessness.

  “I know nothing of love.”

  “I can teach you!” She stepped closer, wanting nothing so much as she wanted him to put his arms around her and tell her she could stay. “You’re a gentle, caring man—God, I don’t know how you got to be that way considering your past—but I love you for it. Sam!” She shook his arm. “Don’t send me away.” A thousand thoughts chased themselves around inside her head. What could she say to make him change his mind?

  “I can help your people,” she said suddenly. If he wouldn’t respond to her declaration of love, perhaps he would respond to an offer of help for his people. “I can teach the children—I can teach the women wom
anly things. Gissel has asked me to stay. She thinks I can be of value to your people. Why don’t you?”

  Sammell struggled against the desire to give in and tell her he wanted her to stay—wanted it more than he had ever wanted anything in all his twenty-nine years, including his freedom. But he remained silent.

  In his lab he had been able to offer her some modicum of safety. But here—among these mountains—in the midst of a group of rebels willing to die for the cause, he was helpless to protect her. He was a fugitive now himself. There was no safety for either of them.

  It would be better to keep the memory of her inside him than to keep her with him and take the chance on losing her forever. But he didn’t want her to hate him.

  “How can I make you understand?” he asked wretchedly, disengaging her hold on his arm. “I do not want you here! Your being here was a mistake. I made that mistake, and now I must put it right.”

  The pain in her eyes echoed the pain in his heart. He focused on her trembling lips and desired to still them with his own.

  “I am sorry,” he whispered, his voice barely audible above the wind, “but you must go.”

  Before she could make further protest, one of the sentries strode toward them and suggested that it would be safer if they moved away from the cliff. They were in plain view and would be an easy target in the bright moonlight.

  Back at the fireside, Marina lay with her elbow propping her up, her eyes on the cold ashes. Sammell had moved his blankets to the other side of the dead fire.

  “What about Larkin?” she asked, knowing she couldn’t sleep and needing to keep talking so she wouldn’t do something foolish. “Do you really think he has another time machine?”

  “It is possible.”

  “What do you think he’ll do?”

  “I do not know. But if he does have one, we are all in danger. I could chase him through the centuries while he spread mischief and never catch up to him. He must be stopped.”

  “Tomorrow MDAT will be waiting for you.”

  “Yes,” Sammell murmured vaguely—if Larkin had not found it before someone could retrieve it from whatever hiding place had been chosen.