The Ravager Chronicles: The Complete Series

by Sara Page

  I’m not going to make it.

  My lungs are already laboring, burning with every breath. My legs feel impossibly heavy as if they’re made of lead. My knees are screaming as they pump with every step. Still, I give it my all. I have nothing left.

  I push through the pain. Mentally, I urge my body on. Spots flash in front of my eyes. My nose stings as if I snorted water. I can’t give up even knowing I don’t have a chance. I just can’t.

  Ominously, the sky grows darker as the trees thicken, growing closer and closer together. Beast rumbles behind me. I can feel his vibrations through the ground.

  Just knowing that he’s right behind me gives me a boost but it’s not enough. I cry out as he grabs me and my feet leave the ground.

  If only I was bigger, stronger, smarter…

  I screech, slap, and kick my legs. I refuse to make it easy for him.

  His breath puffs hotly in my ear. The bulges in his arms flex. He’s squeezing the air out of me.

  If only I wasn’t me.

  The spots flashing in front of my eyes grow brighter until they begin to burst.

  I feel myself slipping away, his darkness is pulling at me.

  Beast whispers softly into my ear. In my current, delusional state, it almost sounds as if he’s apologizing to me.

  His darkness swallows me up.

  Is he sorry?

  Chapter Twenty

  I wake up, I’m bouncing. My head aches. I can’t see straight. Everything is blurry and upside down.

  Something hard keeps jamming me in the stomach. It takes me too long to realize its Beast’s shoulder. He’s carrying me again.

  Maybe it’s the rhythm of the bouncing, or maybe it’s because I feel exhausted and broken, but at some point, I end up falling asleep again.

  The next time I wake up, I’m alone, tucked in the covers of his soft bed. Was it all just a bad dream? It wouldn’t be my first.

  Ripping the covers back, I swing my legs over the edge of the bed.

  It wasn’t a dream. My shirt is torn, exposing my ribs, and I’m wearing the black pants. I check my belt, it’s still there, but the knife is missing from the sheath at my hip. Dammit.

  I bend over and bury my face in my hands. My head is throbbing, my eyes are swelling with unshed tears. This sucks so bad. I don’t know what I’m going to do.

  How could he do this to me? I still, after everything, am having a hard time wrapping my brain around Beast’s betrayal. I thought we were really getting somewhere, that we were making progress. I felt like I was finally beginning to understand him, and I was even feeling more open, more accepting of the thought that perhaps being with him, being his, wouldn’t be so bad…

  Why? Why? Just keeps looping in my head. I can’t make any sense of it. What did I do?

  He’s fed me, sheltered me, washed me, and even bled for me… Silly me, I was beginning to think he really cared. I was even feeling guilty for not returning the favors.

  Maybe that’s it. Maybe it’s because I did nothing for him but take everything he had to give. Was him destroying my pod his way of punishing me? Did he just get so fed up with me, he had to take from me the only thing I had?

  Now I’m trapped here, with him, forever. The realization sends a cold shiver down my spine. I need him. I need his food, shelter, and supplies. I can’t leave him, no matter how much I want to. I know what’s out there and I have no way to protect myself from it. I’m not foolish to think I can somehow survive on my own.

  What am I going to do?

  Chapter Twenty-One

  I’m terribly depressed. Since, I’ve crashed on this planet, I’ve kept myself going on hope. There was always the possibility, always the chance that someone could find me and rescue me. I just had to survive long enough for it to happen.

  Now, what do I have to live for? What is there to keep me going?

  The prospect of ending my days here just increases my depression. I can’t, I just can’t even face the fact that Beast will probably still treat me as if I’m his. The thought makes me mentally and physically ill. If he touches me, ever again, I will totally freak.

  I hate Beast. I hate him for what he did. If he was merciful, he would put me out of my misery. If he was merciful, he wouldn’t have done this to me.

  I curl back in bed and sleep. That’s all I want to do. I want to sleep and forget this living nightmare I’m trapped in. For a while, I think I would be more content to live in my dreams. In my dreams, I can be anything. I can be anywhere. I can be happy. But my dreams take a turn for the worse.

  I dream of Beast crushing his fist against my console. I scream at him to stop. I scream at him to stop hitting me. When he’s done punching, Beast just walks away. I approach my console, to assess what he left me. The battered remains drip blood and look a lot like broken pieces of my face.

  I wake up with a scream.

  * * *

  It takes some time for the terror to fade away, but when it does, I notice for the first time that the door to my room is left wide open.

  That couldn’t have been an accident…

  I slip out of bed and tentatively drift towards the door, half expecting it to be some kind of trick. When I reach the opening, I peek out. The hallway beyond is empty, cold, and eerily silent.

  Is this some kind of test? If I walk out there, is he going to take it as a justification to jump me?

  I hold my breath and my ears strain, as I listen for any sign of him.

  It feels like I’m in my pod again.

  Waiting, always waiting. Afraid to make the wrong move. Afraid of making a hasty decision. Afraid he’s going to get me.

  I take one step out, then another. Nothing happens so I take some more steps until I’m sneaking cautiously down the hall.

  All the doors that I pass are closed. I pass door after unmarked door until I reach the bathing facilities. The door to the bathing facilities is open. I stop and peek my head in. I half expect Beast to be in there, waiting for me. Or, even worse, he could be taking a bath. My eyes sweep through the room, ready to dart away should I see anything moving, but thankfully it’s empty. I move on down the hall.

  I keep going. Around the corner, this feels awfully familiar. I smell it before I actually see it. I reach the mess hall and its door is also open. I peek my head in.

  The mess hall is empty, but a plate of food has been left on a table. I wouldn’t normally presume that the food left there is for me or presume I have a right to take it but Beast and I had a habit of using the same table every time we ate. The plate of food is in front of the spot I always sat in.

  My stomach grumbles, bubbling with hunger. It’s probably been a day since I’ve eaten. Even knowing Beast obviously left that plate of food there for me to eat, stubbornly, I don’t want to eat it. It feels too soon. It feels too like forgiving him a little if I eat it.

  I turn to walk away. My foot is literally in the air when my stomach grumbles louder with distress. He left me a plate piled high with my favorite food: mystery meat skewers. It’s taking more strength than I have to drag myself away.

  Dammit. I can’t starve myself forever. I have no way to gather or hunt my own food. Unless he left the storage room open too.

  Now that thought gets me excited. It gets me so excited, I throw caution to the wind and rush out the door. My hunger is forgotten, my feet are practically flying as I run down the empty hall. I pass the front doors of the ship, they’re closed. It doesn’t matter. If I can get my hands on some weapons, I’ll just bide my time until an opportunity presents itself. There are ration bars, water… everything I would need to hole up by myself. If I can get inside the storage room, I won’t need him anymore.

  I’m so wrapped up in my thoughts, in all the possibilities, and most especially the fantasy of freedom, that I’m not paying any attention to where I’m going. I turn a corner and crash hard into something solid.

  I look up and recoil. It’s him.

  My teeth pull back and I snarl as
I pick myself up off the floor. Beast reaches out to me as if he’s going to touch me. I quickly scramble backward.

  “Don’t touch me!” I snap.

  Beast takes a step toward me, he growls softly.

  I turn my back on him and run back down the hall. I just can’t deal with him right now. I can’t stand to look at him.

  My stomach hates me as I run past the mess hall. Especially because the aroma of meat hits my nose as soon as I draw close. It’s just another thing to be angry at Beast for, another thing he’s done to hurt me.

  It’s his fault I’ll be hungry tonight.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Time has returned to a crawl. With nothing to entertain or distract myself with, once again I’m left with only my thoughts. It’s enough to drive me mad.

  I’m depressed, hungry, and pissed off. It’s a miserable combination.

  Out of them all, I have to say, keeping the hatred alive is the worse. It’s a fire that I have to keep feeding, lest it fizzle out to mere anger. I’ve kept the fire raging inside me, and so far, I’m the only one that’s getting burned.

  I fight my hunger for what feels like hours until I finally give up. I convince myself that if I let myself starve with stubbornness, he actually wins. I travel back down the hall, not only half starving but also very afraid that the food will no longer be there. Thank the stars it’s still there.

  I shove a skewer in my mouth first, for the walk back down the hall, then grab up the plate. I’m taking it all back with me to eat in my room.

  I was only gone a minute, two minutes max. When I get back to my room, I swear I can smell Beast, even over the delicious aroma of the charred meat in my mouth.

  He was in my room, I just know it. He must have done something. I do a quick sweep of the room with my eyes. There’s something different about the bed.

  I can’t even have a minute to enjoy what I’m eating. I gulp down the bite I’m chewing, no longer tasting it, and cautiously step in. The bed is made now, and I know I left it a mess.

  Why would he make the bed? From the doorway, I couldn’t see it because it’s lying completely flat. Two steps in, I can’t believe it. I swear my eyes must be playing tricks. I bend forward, rest the plate of food I’m still holding down on the floor and make a leap for the bed.

  It’s my dress. My pink, party gown I left behind in the forest. When I left it, my dress was pretty much reduced to rags. Now, not only does it look like Beast washed all the funk out of it but he also made repairs to it as well. It’s not quite as good as new, he made the repairs with black thread, but you can tell he put a lot of effort into the stitches.

  A small, choked sound comes from me as I lovingly pick it up by the straps. I thought I’d never see it again.

  I still have something left in this world.

  I gently lay my dress on the bed and take a step back. I long to wear it, I long to feel like my old self again, but I need a bath first. I’m smelling quite awful. Not to mention there’s an entire plate of food waiting for me on the floor, growing cold. It would be a sin to waste it.

  It’s almost painful to walk away from my dress. I fear that if I look away for too long, when I look back it will be gone, as if it were a mirage.

  I sit down on the floor and tear into my meal. From down here, I can’t see the top of the bed, so I stand up. I walk over to the bed and sit beside my dress. I can’t help but think of Beast as I finish my meal and stare at it.

  How can I stay mad at him? Already, the flames of my hatred have died down to tiny wisps. I’m not even sure I have the energy to build them back up. I could almost forgive him for this… almost.

  Why did he have to go and destroy my pod? A new wave of desperation washes over me. It’s just as bad as the hatred.

  I have to stop thinking of Beast. I have to stop trying to understand. It doesn’t make sense. Unless he can explain to me, himself, I’ll probably never understand. If I want to survive, I know the only things I should be thinking of are how to find a way to survive without him.

  I can’t rely on him. It felt great to rely on him, to put the burden of my needs on his broad shoulders, but he’s a loose cannon. I need supplies, shelter, and a plan.

  But first I need a bath.

  I gently pick up my dress and drape it over my arm. The soft, silky skirt flutters as I walk out the door and down the hall.

  The bathing facilities are empty though the air is steamy, I think the bathing pool is always kept warm. I go about my business, taking care of my more urgent needs then get myself ready for a shower.

  I’m still wary that Beast will jump out of the shadows at any moment, so I decide I’m better off in a shower stall. At the very least it will buy me a few seconds. I would love to take a long, relaxing soak in the bubbles of the bathing pool. But if I do that, I leave myself completely vulnerable and at his mercy if he walks in. I’m just better off in the privacy of a shower. It’s quicker and easier.

  I choose the stall furthest in the back. It’s the biggest of them all. It has a bench for me to sit on and a place to hang my towels and my dry clothes. The door has a lock, but I know if Beast really wants to get in, it won’t stop him. Still, I lock the door. It’s the thought that counts.

  The shower itself is a panel of buttons that all look the same and a dozen holes in the walls. If I stand in front of the holes and push the right buttons, I should get sprayed by a jet of water from each hole.

  I have no idea what I’m doing. Eeny, meany, miny, moe. I push a button. I get blasted by a dozen jets of icy cold water. I shriek and push that button again. The water stops but I’m so cold, my lungs feel like they’re frozen, unable to take in air. I try the button next to that button, hoping it will be the hot water. I get blasted by scorching hot air. I go from soaking wet to instantly dry.

  I’m afraid to try again but it’s either this or the great wide open bath. This time I push a button and jump back. Half the holes spray out water. I reach out to test the water with my hand. The water is still icy cold. I have to lean into the icy cold water to push the button again. In my haste, I think I pushed the wrong one because instead of turning the water off, the other holes spray water. The new water is boiling hot. I’m scalded and cold.

  “Would it be too much to ask for someone to actually label the buttons?” I cry out in frustration.

  I mean, seriously, someone could get hurt doing this. Like I am.

  I decide the shower isn’t going to work. I’ll just have to tough it out and take a bath. As much as I want to just abandon the shower and leave it as it is, I can’t let the water keep running, even if the ship’s water system will probably just recycle it.

  I brace myself and focus on the two buttons I need to push. I jump forward and hit a button with each hand. The water turns off, it’s only a couple of seconds of misery. But then the lights flicker then go out.

  Shit, I broke the ship.

  * * *

  I’m in total pitch black darkness. I can’t see my hand in front of my face. I blink my eyes and the scenery doesn’t change. If the lights don’t come back on, I’m screwed.

  I wait a couple of minutes, nothing happens. All is quiet. I decide to slowly, and carefully, make my way to the door. The floor is slick with water. It makes not being able to see even worse. When the lights were on, I could swear I wasn’t that far from the door. But now, in the darkness, with my arms and hands stretched out in front of me, there’s only cold emptiness.

  Where are the emergency lights? Any ship worth its salt has at least one system of emergency lights, if not more. Ah, but then I remember this ship is damaged.

  My fingers make contact with something I don’t expect. My gut clenches and my heart thunders. It takes me a second to realize it’s not something to hurt me, it’s just the skirt of my dress, which thankfully means I’m close to the stall door. I grab my dress and wiggle myself into it. Then I reach back out.

  Two more steps and I find the door. My palms roam over the door,
searching down, again miscalculating just where the lock is. I finally make contact with the lock, my fingers fumble with it, but I get the door open.

  Inch by slow inch, my roaming palms guide me down the line of stalls as I try to make my way to the door. I feel like I’m halfway there, my pace even picks up because I’m more confidant when two red orbs suddenly appear. At first, they’re small and far away. But as the orbs draw closer and closer, they grow.

  “Beast?” I call out.

  It has to be him, right? He’s the only one with evil red eyes around here.

  There’s no answerback, only heavy silence that thickens the longer it goes on.

  The red orbs grow larger and larger. I watch them as if I’m entranced. The orbs wink out.

  I can sense something moving in the darkness. I’m in danger and every primal instinct in my body knows it. My heart races with icy panic. I start to walk backward until I feel like I just accidently hit a wall.

  Beast growls and I scream.

  A warm hand slams over my mouth.

  Beast growls into my ear. Relief floods through me. I backed into him. It’s his hand covering my mouth.

  Beast grumbles softly and removes his hand.

  “Why are the lights off?” I ask.

  His hand slams back over my mouth.

  Beast growls into my ear. I’m guessing he wants me to be quiet. I nod my head.

  He drops his hand from my mouth and finds my fingers. I feel that familiar jolt of warm sensation shooting up my arm. The sensation is completely unwelcomed and couldn’t be more unwanted. I have no choice but to suffer it, though. Beast is my only safe way out of here.

  He starts to tug me and I follow him. It feels like it’s the wrong way to me, but he is the one who can see in the dark. Slowly, cautiously, it feels like it takes forever to get where we’re going.

  After some time, I can see a crack of light in the distance. As we get closer, I can see the crack of light is coming from the front doors. No wonder it feels like it’s taking forever to get out of the bathroom. He’s already leading me down the hall and towards the exit.