Reflection (The Chrysalis Series)

by Sallinger, Elene

  That was unacceptable.

  She had panicked. Unable to comprehend her reaction, she’d resorted to rudeness to gain control. Her loss of discipline rankled her. That wasn’t like her and now she didn’t even know where to find him to apologise.

  The bells on the door tinkled, drawing her out of her thoughts. Claire entered with Wade Stalls, a native of River Rock and the owner of Stalls General Contracting. He was doing some renovations on the townhouse Claire and Evan shared a few blocks away. Bridget tensed as Wade approached the counter, where Mona was preparing the order of an elderly gentleman. Unfortunately, this was as predictable as the fact that mixing Mentos with Coke would be explosive.

  She watched with a mixture of sympathy and pain as Mona caught sight of Wade approaching with Claire and promptly dropped the coffee she’d been about to hand to the old man. Porcelain shattered and hot coffee spilled all over the counter, thankfully missing both Mona and the customer. Mona’s skin, normally a lovely shade of cinnamon, turned crimson and her caramel-coloured eyes went wide with mortification. She looked down and shook her raven hair across her face as if she could hide the physical evidence of her shame. Mona’s hands shook and her friend, normally so together, witty and sharp, literally began to trip over herself. She lost all composure whenever Wade was in the room.

  For his part, Wade seemed embarrassed by her distress. He was solicitous to the old man and helped clean up the mess, grabbing a handful of napkins and wiping up the counter after making sure the man was OK. He was abrupt and clipped with Mona, treating her like a criminal. Obviously unable to take it any longer, Mona fled after asking one of her baristas to take over. Bridget went after her with a quick stop to let Claire, who was ordering for herself, know where their table was.

  She ignored the “Employees Only” sign on the swinging door next to the restrooms and knocked gently before letting herself into the office. Mona was slumped in her chair, a tissue crumpled in her hand and her arms wrapped around her body as if only sheer will was holding her together.

  ‘Oh sugar, don’t be so hard on yourself!’ Bridget exclaimed as she hurried over to Mona and wrapped her friend in a hug.

  ‘Bridg –’ her voice was watery ‘– why can’t I get myself together whenever he’s around?’ The question was more of a wail.

  ‘Because you refuse to realise that he’s just a man, darlin’. He’s not this god you’ve put on a pedestal. Hell, he’s friggin’ stupid as far as I can tell. He can’t even see such a phenomenal catch right in front of his face. Now, do you really want a stupid man?’

  Mona snorted at Bridget, considering they both knew Wade was anything but stupid, but it had the desired effect as Mona took several deep breaths and swiped at her eyes.

  ‘Bridget, I have loved that man since I was in high school and, frankly, I’m sick to death of feeling this way. I’m wasting my best years pining for a man who doesn’t want me.’

  ‘I know, Mona.’ Bridget hugged her friend again, unwilling to lie to her. She stroked her hair and said, ‘But I completely disagree that you’ve wasted your life. You have a wonderful business, gorgeous friends who love you –’ She flicked her hair and got the laugh she’d hoped for at her obviously self-aggrandising words. Capitalising on the moment, she said, ‘Come on, sugar. Come take a break and have a coffee with me and Claire.’

  Mona shot a panicked glance in the direction of the café. ‘I don’t want to go back out there, Bridg.’

  ‘Mona, don’t make me go there.’

  Mona gasped and pulled back from Bridget. ‘You wouldn’t!’

  ‘I absolutely would.’ Bridget pulled her best stern look. ‘Now, what are you going to do?’

  ‘Well –’ she drew herself up to her full five feet six inches and pushed her chair back under her desk ‘– I guess you leave me little choice.’

  ‘Indeed.’ Bridget barely contained her grin as Mona pushed past her, grumbling about how she’d be damned before she’d let Bridget ruin another espresso machine making her own coffee.

  ‘Caramel, vanilla, and a hint of cinnamon.’ Bridget licked her lips unconsciously as she swallowed the silky brew Mona had set before her.

  ‘Yup.’ Mona grinned, clapping as Bridget guessed the flavours in her latest find. Turning to Claire, she said, ‘Your turn.’

  Claire sipped carefully and closed her eyes, a look of pure bliss passing over her features as she swallowed. She took another sip and repeated the process before saying, ‘Almonds and chocolate.’ She set the cup down with a satisfied grin.

  ‘You guys are so good!’ Mona was jubilant and, now that Wade was gone, the successful, smart, and gregarious woman was back in charge rather than the insecure mess she always reverted to in his presence.

  ‘Well,’ Claire said, ‘I can’t speak for Bridget, but I take my coffee very seriously, especially now.’ She rested an unconscious hand on her swelling abdomen.

  A pang of deep envy shot through Bridget that she quickly stamped out. She wasn’t going there either. The spell was broken, however. As Mona and Claire discussed the merits of decaf coffee in satisfying her cravings yet protecting Claire’s unborn child from the effects of caffeine, her mind wandered back to the morning’s encounter with the jogger.

  ‘Care to share?’ Claire’s voice cut through her ruminations and she was surprised to see her two friends looking at her quite intently.

  ‘Pardon?’ She stalled for time.

  ‘Exactly what has got you scowling?’

  ‘I don’t know what ya’ll are talking about.’ Pretending a deep interest in the material of her skirt, she smoothed the napkin over her lap even as she blushed.

  ‘Spill, Bridget.’ Claire was looking at her with one eyebrow raised and worry colouring her hazel eyes.

  Remorse flooded Bridget and she sighed deeply before saying, ‘I ran into someone this morning and it’s thrown me off.’

  ‘Who?’ Claire and Mona asked in unison.

  ‘I don’t know.’ She picked at her napkin before grabbing it and balling up in a fist. ‘I mean, I literally ran into him, or his dog at least. And then he frightened me, I pushed him, and then nearly tore his head off I was so rude.’ She was tripping over her words and not making an ounce of sense, and she knew it.

  Taking a deep breath, she looked at her friends who were patiently waiting her out and started over. She filled them in on the encounter, her reaction, and her remaining disquiet. When she’d finished, Claire and Mona sat quietly, their sympathy evident in their faces. They knew her history. In that, at least, no explanation was required.

  ‘So,’ she said on a breathy sigh, ‘I behaved like a bitch. I can’t even apologise and it’s nagging at me badly.’

  Claire reached out and squeezed her hand. ‘Stop being so hard on yourself. There isn’t one thing that happened that wasn’t a natural response. Both the fright and the attraction. You’re still a functioning woman, Bridget. You’re going to respond to men.’

  Hot tears flooded Bridget’s eyes. It wasn’t the attraction she had a problem with, it was the stupidity that giving into attraction led you to. That was something she would never allow. The lesson she’d received had imprinted on her like indelible ink. Once was enough.

  Mona took her other hand and began making soothing noises to her which only made Bridget laugh given the role reversal she now found herself in.

  ‘You guys are good to me, but stop. Seriously. I’ll be fine.’ She gently disengaged her hands and stood, reaching for her handbag. ‘Listen, I have to get to class, but I’ll see you guys this weekend, right?’ Their book club was meeting at Bibliophile as usual.

  ‘Yup,’ Mona said smiling.

  ‘Wouldn’t miss it.’ Claire grinned, considering her husband was the proprietor of the shop.

  ‘Good.’ She forced a grin. ‘I’ll see you ladies then.’ With a wave, she forced all thoughts but the upcoming lesson out of her mind as she stepped into the afternoon sunshine.

  Pinewood University was th
e heart of River Rock. The city itself had grown up around the school and its economy was highly dependent on the university. The grounds were stately and looked very much like they must have looked when the school first opened in 1867. The verdant campus was surrounded by the trees of its namesake. The quad, so named for the four, expansive areas of manicured grass intersected by wide sidewalks that looked more like narrow roads, was crowded and thrumming with energy.

  Groups of students clustered on the grass, studying or just hanging out. Their laptops and MP3 players were out of sync with the classicism of the campus and created a surreal feeling at times. Remove the students and you could have been in a Sherlock Holmes novel.

  Connor was oblivious to the mystique as he hot-footed it across the quad, trying to get to the auditorium before he was any later. A quick glance at his watch told him it was pointless.

  Dammit! He had to do better than this. He really did. But he hadn’t been able to resist the afternoon sun and the treasures he’d found in the local parks to sketch and photograph. Mothers and nannies with children at play. Dogs and their owners playing in the park. The shot he’d gotten of a Border Collie mid-flight with a Frisbee in her teeth and a look of pure adoration on her face as her owner clapped with joy had been awesome.

  But it had also happened when he should have already been on his way to work. Sam, his boss, put up with his lateness because he was a hard worker and he stayed until the work was done. Truth be told, Connor liked his job. It afforded him solitude and time to think. For all that he was an observer and documenter of humanity he didn’t enjoy spending a tremendous amount of time among people. He liked to be on the edges, watching and recording. He didn’t like to be interacting.

  Hence, his job was perfect for him. As a custodian for the university, Connor had plenty of solitude to think and observe. People never noticed the help. A janitor was invisible until there was a mess to be cleaned up.

  Still, Connor loved the campus and the work. He’d finish whatever task was at hand, only to be caught by the play of light on the mosaic tile lining a hallway. He’d instantly be transported and have to dig into his ever-present backpack and grab either his camera or his CleanSlate in order to capture the image.

  Today, though, Sam had asked him to come in on his day off and help set up for a concert that was taking place on campus. A popular up-and-coming group, C Note, was giving a concert, requiring the small sports arena to be arranged and the stage set up and prepped for the evening’s entertainment. In fact, sound check was in just under an hour. He’d better get a move on.

  Connor picked up the pace and was so focused on making his way across the small campus that he almost didn’t register the voice calling out to him. Turning, he saw the crazy jogger from this morning headed his direction.

  Shit! He had nowhere to go.

  ‘Hey there! Hold on.’

  The redhead was still cute, but he remained wary as she hurried in his direction hampered by a clinging, pale green skirt and cream silk blouse that gave her a sexy, professional look.

  He really didn’t want to stop. Well, he wanted to look, but he didn’t want a repeat of this morning. Still, his own sense of manners had him waiting for her to catch up to him. He must be a glutton for punishment.

  She was breathless when she finally reached him, which of course brought out his inner Neanderthal because he couldn’t resist the sight of her heaving breasts. They were absolutely gorgeous. Full, and nicely showcased by her blouse. Just enough cleavage showed without making her appear slutty or undermining her professionalism. With a supreme force of will, he pulled his gaze away from her spectacular bosom and up to smirking green eyes.

  ‘Really? The once over?’ she said, but there was no heat in her voice, only that silky drawl that made him want her rubbing against him like a cat. His body certainly liked that idea and he had to put a major clampdown on the stirring in his groin.

  ‘You are incredibly gorgeous.’ He didn’t bother to hide his appreciation of her body which caught her off guard by the surprise that passed over her face at his words. ‘But you’re also dangerous for someone as tiny as you.’ He grinned and rubbed the spot on his chest where she’d pushed him.

  A flush of embarrassment coloured her skin, tinting it a sweet shade of pink, before she replied in that smoky, Southern lilt, ‘I am so sorry about that. I don’t normally respond so aggressively to being startled. I don’t have an excuse, but I wanted to apologise.’

  He grinned down at her, enjoying her obvious discomfort.

  ‘And why exactly did you grace me with such an enthusiastic response?’

  She squirmed and looked away from him, gnawing on her lower lip. It was absolutely adorable and had him imagining much more explicit things she could be doing with those lips. They were as full and voluptuous as the rest of her and – get a grip on yourself, Connor! He forcefully brought himself back to the present.

  ‘You startled me, and I reacted instinctively. I apologise again.’

  She looked up at him and saw his grin.

  ‘You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?’ She was clearly affronted but being a good sport.

  ‘Yes, yes I am.’ Again, he didn’t bother hiding. ‘You have a heavy hand, Miss …?’ The obvious question hung in the air.

  ‘Ross. Bridget Ross.’

  She held out her hand to shake. It was tiny and delicate with perfectly manicured nails painted a deep shade of burgundy. His own hand engulfed hers and he liked the feel of her skin against his. So much so, he didn’t let go.

  ‘I’m Connor Reynolds, Bridget Ross.’ He grinned again as she tugged gently on her hand; only when she tugged harder did he let it go.

  ‘Well, Connor. I’d like to make it up to you, if you’d let me.’

  He raised an eyebrow as he waited.

  ‘Would you let me buy you a cup of coffee?’

  ‘Coffee?’ He pretended a pout. ‘I’m going to be wearing a bruise for at least a week.’

  She laughed at his obvious acting. It was a lovely sound, light and tinkling and made with her whole body. Not one of those weak, simpering laughs. This reached her eyes and made her face shine.

  ‘OK, how about coffee and a pastry of your choice? I have a bit of pull with the owner at Bean There Done That.’

  ‘Hmmm.’ He pretended to think it over when he already knew he was going to say yes. ‘OK, but it will have to be tomorrow. I have somewhere to be at the moment.’

  ‘Are you a photographer?’ She nodded in the direction of his equipment.

  ‘What I am is late.’ He dodged the question, but softened his words with a smile. ‘Is 11 a.m. good for you tomorrow?’

  She shook her head saying, ‘I have a class at 11.30. How about after lunch, say 1 p.m.?’

  ‘One it is.’ He smiled again.

  ‘OK then, good.’ She smiled back and turned saying, ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’

  ‘Yup.’ He waved as she moved off, taking a good, long look at her shapely ass which he’d admired so much that morning. His hand itched to cup it. He watched until she turned into the faculty parking lot before finally heading to the stadium to find Sam.

  He didn’t even try to wipe the grin off his face.

  Chapter Three

  What in the hell had possessed her to ask him out for coffee? She’d only planned to apologise, not ask him out. She seemed to lose the ability to think straight when it came to that man.

  Connor. She liked the name. It fit him. He looked like a Connor, like something straight out of one of those Highlander movies. His grey eyes had been laughing the whole time. What a smartass. She snorted at the memory, but found herself grinning just the same.

  ‘Something funny, Professor?’

  Bridget snapped out of her thoughts as Skyler dropped her exam on Bridget’s desk. She looked up at her student and nodded.

  ‘Yeah. Well, to me anyway.’

  She noted that the rest of the class was already gone. Skyler was always the last to turn
in her exams. A brilliant student, she nevertheless agonised over tests. Many a time, Bridget had to remind her to relax and breathe. That she either knew it or she didn’t. She wasn’t going to learn it while taking the test.

  Once, Bridget had found her sobbing over a B that she’d gotten on an exam. She’d refused to open up when questioned as to why this was an earth-shattering event, but Bridget had seen this type of thing before. Students who pushed themselves so hard for one reason or another, but who all had a common thread of feeling like they had something to prove, whether to a parent or friend.

  ‘How are you doing, Skyler?’ She worried about this one. She seemed very close to a breaking point some days.

  ‘I’m good, Professor. Never better.’ The words were bright but she didn’t meet Bridget’s eyes.

  ‘I’m always here if you want an ear, Skyler.’

  Wary brown eyes met Bridget’s green ones.

  ‘What makes you think I need someone to talk to?’ Her entire body went rigid as she spoke. Her chin jutted up in the air and the muscles along her jaw stood out in stark relief as if her teeth were clenched.

  ‘Nothing in particular. You simply seem a bit more tense than usual. I’m just making myself available.’

  Skyler visibly relaxed at those words, confirming Bridget’s suspicion that there really was something troubling her.

  ‘Everything’s OK, Professor. Promise.’ She threw a shaky grin at Bridget and, with a quick hitch of her shoulder to adjust her backpack, left the classroom, leaving Bridget alone once again to ponder her stupidity at arranging a date with Connor.

  No, not a date. An apology. One that happened to involve coffee and pastry. She was a grown woman. And she didn’t pick up men, or chase men, or anything men any more. She’d had enough disastrous attempts to learn that it just wasn’t worth it.

  She’d given up men and had even gotten past her reservations enough to have a vibrator. Well, more like Claire had made sure she got past her inhibitions and got a vibrator.