My Dirty Detour: An Alpha Male Mafia Comedy Romance

by Grace Risata

  At that moment, Vasily came around the corner and Irina jumped into his arms. “I have a surprise for you later,” she purred. “What time do you get off?”

  He smiled and replied, “I get off as soon as you show me your surprise!”

  Sergio gagged, I rolled my eyes, and thankfully they left to go do whatever it is they do.

  Rocky turned to me and asked, “Who ARE you and what have you done with my sweet, innocent Violet?”

  “Who cares?” Sergio complained. “I want to know what costume she got and what you told her to do with it. Don’t leave me hanging, Violet!”

  “Some things are better left to the imagination, boys. I’ll see you at six tonight, Rocky. Don’t be late.”

  With that, I sauntered out the door and headed home. The clock was ticking and I had a date to get ready for!

  Saturday Evening, Week Two

  Before I started my party prep, I made the required daily phone call to my mom. I told her I had a nice day with my new friend Irina and that we went shopping and ate lunch out. The exact places we went shopping and the items we purchased somehow did not find their way into that conversation. She did, however, insist upon meeting Rocky. My efforts to talk her out of that went absolutely nowhere.

  “Mom, how am I supposed to say ‘Oh, by the way, we have to stop at my mommy’s house on the way to our date,’ like he’s taking me to prom and you need to snap some pictures first? I’m going to look like a dork.”

  “How about if I just HAPPEN to be at your house when he arrives to pick you up? I’ll say I needed to borrow something at the last minute.”

  “Yeah, that’s not obvious AT ALL. Like you were just baking an apple pie and happened to run out of sugar and needed to borrow a cup? You’re geographically closer to the grocery store than you are to my house!”

  “He doesn’t KNOW that, Violet. Do you think he has a map of the town with my house, your house, and the fucking grocery store on it?” Well I guess she had a point there.

  “Fine, he’s supposed to be here at six. You be here at five thirty and please do not embarrass me.”

  “I’ll be there at five thirty and, just because you said that, I will embarrass you now!” Great. Something else to look forward to.

  I made sure my house was clean, and then I looked at every single item in my closet to find something hot. I was pretty pleased with my outfit decision. I had tight black high-heeled knee-high boots, black nylons, and a black mini-skirt that stopped about two inches above the knee. My blouse was a very pretty royal blue with black designs. It was tight with a low neckline and shoulder cut-outs. I actually forgot it was sitting in a drawer. I felt good in it. I think the open shoulders made it more formal and dressy. I put my hair up in a clip and left the back hanging down. The look was finished off with a spritz of perfume, eye liner, and a silver necklace.

  There was a knock on my door at five thirty before my mom barged in. She has a key, so I’m not sure what the courtesy knock was for.

  “Violet, what are you wearing? Let me see.”

  Frankie looked me over and gave her approval. “You should dress like that more often. I don’t know why you look so frumpy all the time. You’ll have this guy eating out of the palm of your hand.”

  “Mom, you haven’t seen him yet. He’s hotter than hell. You’ll find out pretty soon. Just please don’t say anything to embarrass me.”

  “I don’t know why you’re always telling me that. I’m your mother and I love you. You should be grateful to have a mother who cares.” Maybe she was right. After hearing Irina’s family stories, maybe I should be more appreciative of mine. I gave her a hug and felt guilty when she seemed surprised.

  “I do love you, mom. Just behave yourself, ok?”

  She asked me about the plan for the evening and I told her more about the party. Max and his family rented out half of a local restaurant, “The Lakeside Resort.” Pineville only has one lake and this eatery just happened to be nestled right on the shoreline. In case you were wondering, the lake is called Pine Lake. I know, real original. The Lakeside Resort was one of the nicer places in town. It was popular for weddings and parties due to the scenic location. Max and his family expected about eighty guests, making this place the perfect size. I was excited because they had great food. I was right in the middle of telling Frankie about who would be attending the party, when the doorbell rang. It was only quarter to six, Rocky must be early.

  A quick peek out my front window revealed a silver Mustang parked in the driveway. I opened the door and instantly had my breath taken away. Rocky looked amazing. He was wearing a white dress shirt, skinny black tie, tight black dress pants, shiny Italian dress shoes, and a Silver Rolex. The shirt hugged his muscles in all the right places and the pants did the same trick to his ass. Oh, he looked delicious. I wanted to rip open the box of condoms right then and there. A whistle noise snapped me back to reality. It was Rocky. Whistling at me. “Violet, you’re absolutely stunning,” he declared as he admired me from head to toe. In typical Violet fashion, I blurted out the first thing to pop into my head.

  “I need a time machine to take you back to high school and show you off.”

  “Your high school self couldn’t handle me,” he playfully teased.

  “What are you talking about? My NOW self can’t handle you!”

  My mom chose that moment to walk around the corner and joined in, “Truer words have never been spoken, dear.” I would have argued, had she not been right.

  “Rocky, I’d like to introduce you to my mom Frankie. Mom, this is Rocky.” Oh, please don’t freak out because my mom is here and she demanded to meet you. I should have warned him and not sprung this on him. In typical Rocky fashion, he remained calm and collected and stuck out his hand.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am. Violet has told me a lot about you. I understand you’re a bit concerned that your daughter and I are moving too fast. I can assure you that I have her best interests at heart and I would never treat her with anything less than the respect she deserves.” Wow. He was a Grade-A ass kisser. I’d NEVER seen him so respectful of ANYONE before. Where the hell did that come from?

  “Thank you very much, Rocky. I appreciate that,” my mom replied. “Violet is all that matters to me in this world and if you hurt her in any way, I’ll kill you.” Yeah, good job mom, that wasn’t embarrassing at all. Between Mr. Ass Kisser and Mrs. Intimidating, this conversation could not have been more fake.

  “Mom, no one is killing anyone. Rocky pretty much takes over where you leave off. He doesn’t let me eat raw burger or walk to my car alone at night. I’m safe, ok?” Now let’s all go before anyone else says something humiliating.

  Nope, my mom wasn’t done just yet.

  “Alright, I won’t embarrass you anymore. Rocky, just remember I know where you work and I’ll come and hunt you down. Violet, go put on some more lipstick because you look too pale.” My mom was always bitching at me to wear more lipstick. “I need to take a quick picture of you two before you leave. Dina wants to see what Rocky looks like and any description I give her is just not going to do him justice. Let me figure out how to do this on my phone.”

  My mom could not handle technology and she was always messing up her phone and calling me to fix it. While she pressed buttons and muttered curses under her breath, Rocky pulled out his phone too.

  “That’s not a bad idea, Violet. Would you mind if I took a quick picture of us?” Hell no! That makes it look less creepy that my mom is taking one. He put his arm around me and we smiled into his camera. I’m not photogenic by any stretch of the imagination, so I didn’t care what it looked like as long as my eyes were open. My mom eventually figured out her phone and we posed for her. She took three pictures and seemed satisfied with the results.

  “That’s it, time to go!” I pushed them out the door so we could get this evening underway. Rocky told my mom it was lovely to meet her and they said their goodbyes.

  As we pulled out of th
e driveway, I apologized to Rocky. “I’m sorry about that. She wanted to meet you and she demanded to come over. I told her not to embarrass me but it was inevitable.”

  He pulled the car over and stared at me. “Violet, I haven’t had a chance to be alone with you all day long and it’s killing me. You look good enough to eat in that blue shirt and short skirt you have on. I’m glad you’re not wearing lipstick because it would be smeared all over your face.”

  That being said, he reached over and cupped my face with his hand. He moved in fast and gave me a deep kiss. His other hand went to the back of my neck and pulled me closer. I ran my hands down his chest and murmured, “Mmm.” I was waiting for that all day, too. I wonder if we could skip the party entirely? His lips left mine and they started a course all the way down my neck. He stopped right above my breast. He traced the top of my cleavage with his finger, staying above my shirt. My nipple instantly hardened and he sighed, “This is going to be a long night having to keep my hands off you. You know that, right? You torture me.”

  “We have to go to the party but we don’t have to stay all night,” I said.

  He smiled sadly and started the car, pulling away from the curb and anything fun, instead going in the direction toward the restaurant. “If it were any other night, then I would have fucked you right then and there on the side of the road. I can’t have that be your first experience with me. We need a bed and unlimited time. I just need you to know that you’re beautiful and I want you.” Ditto. This was going to be a long night for me too. Good thing I got condoms!

  “Violet, I need you to make conversation to take my mind off the fact that I can’t have you right now.” Either I looked exceptional or he was really ready to get down and dirty. I felt the need to know more.

  “Why are you so hot and bothered today?” I asked him.

  “That’s not exactly taking my mind off things, but I’ll tell you anyway. I feel as though all I’ve been doing lately is working, punctuated by short breaks to make out with you and then being forced to stop myself. I’m going to explode if this keeps up.” He glanced over at me and complimented my appearance. “You look really good, did I tell you that yet?”

  “Thank you. I feel really good. I had a nice time with Irina and I’m thinking tonight is going to be even better.”

  “Speaking of that, what the hell did you two do today? Sergio is going crazy imagining all kinds of scenarios of what sex idea you could have possibly given Irina.”

  “Good, that’s what he gets for teasing me about liking girls. To answer your question, Irina and I went for sandwiches followed by a shopping trip for lingerie. She told me about her family and the night she met Vasily. I felt awful about judging her based on her appearance. She’s really had it rough. Her family sounds difficult to deal with.”

  “I’m surprised she opened up to you like that. She’s usually pretty distant. I think you’re good for her.”

  I continued with my recap of our day. “She’s trying to be a good influence on me, but I’m mostly a disappointment. I didn’t know we would end up at the XXX Porn store. Irina told me to relax and look around but I freaked out and tried not to touch anything. The novelty condoms were weird and the outfits weren’t very original so we ended up at the big box outlet and that’s where I gave her the sex idea. I took her down the Halloween aisle and told her that Vasily should be dressing up for her. I picked out a sailor outfit to compliment the book she was reading. She was excited to take it home for him. We had a good day of girl bonding.”

  Rocky nodded his head with a look of amusement, “As soon as we get to the restaurant, I’m texting Sergio with the Sailor Boy details. He’s going to LOVE having a new way to torment Vasily.”

  “You’re going to get me in trouble!” I complained. We were almost to the restaurant so I asked, “Have you ever been to this place before?”

  “Nope, tell me more about it. What kind of food do they have and who will I be meeting tonight? I already met your mom so I guess it’s all downhill from there.”

  “Yeah, you were a major ass kisser with her. What’s up with that?”

  “She’s your mom, Violet. She’s important to you. I wanted to make a good impression.”

  “That’s sweet. You won’t be meeting anyone else of major importance tonight. You already know Stella and Max. Max’s parents, his two siblings and their families, and Stella’s parents will be there. That’s pretty much it. I won’t know too many people so I’m glad you’re here. As for the menu, it’s a seafood buffet. I hope you’re okay with seafood?”

  “I’m not picky about food. I’ll eat anything,” he responded.

  “Anything?” I asked seductively and raised my eyebrow. Evidently he was not the only one hot and bothered tonight.

  He smirked, looked down at my lap, and then returned his gaze to my face. “I guess you’ll find out later, won’t you?” Clearly my innuendo wasn’t lost on him! If this back and forth between us was going to last all night, I would explode. Thankfully we arrived at the restaurant and managed to find a parking spot.

  “Stay here,” Rocky ordered. He got out of the car and walked around to open my door for me. What a gentleman! I smiled and took his hand as we made our way to the main entrance. The parking lot wasn’t just crowded for Marjorie’s party. The restaurant was also open for regular customers. Upon entering, we were greeted by a hostess. Along the wall in front of us stood a very large buffet filled with mouthwatering choices. I saw jumbo breaded shrimp, popcorn shrimp, cod, perch, crab alfredo, French fries, mashed potatoes, fried chicken, and vegetables. A separate buffet featured a large salad bar with every imaginable topping and a handful of cold pasta salad choices. Everything looked delicious. I informed the hostess we were part of the birthday celebration. She led us to the left. The right side of the restaurant was for regular customers and the left half was the party section. There were several tables with a big raised platform for a DJ. Tasteful decorations were hung next to a giant banner that read, “Happy 60th birthday Marjorie!” They had pulled out all the stops to make this a memorable occasion.

  Jade and Jackie raced over to ask us how we liked the decorations. “Did you ladies do all this by yourself?” I asked. They proudly told us about all the balloons they helped blow up. Stella came over next to let us know the birthday girl was on her way and would be here in a few minutes. She was dressed to the nines, as per her usual. She wore a cream colored short skirt with matching jacket, tan high heeled boots, and several pieces of jewelry. Unlike myself, she actually wore lipstick. My mom would have been so proud of her.

  “Violet, look at you!” She exclaimed. “Did your new supermodel friend help pick out your clothes? Or are you wearing today’s purchases UNDER that outfit?”

  “Thanks Stella, but I didn’t really buy anything today. Well, just one thing. I’ll tell you about that later. By the way, Irina wants to meet you and hang out sometime. You’re going to freak when you see her.”

  Stella greeted Rocky and had to go mingle with more arriving guests, so we were left on our own. He guided me to a table and sat next to me with his arm around my shoulders. He murmured in my ear, “Tell me what you bought today, Violet. Give me something to look forward to.” Shit, I didn’t buy any clothes. How was I supposed to answer that?

  I squirmed in my seat and got a guilty look on my face. “You see, I actually didn’t buy an outfit. I bought SOMETHING but it wasn’t clothes. I don’t really have any lingerie. I hope you’re not disappointed.” There I go ruining the mood.

  “I’m not upset in the least,” Rocky whispered, “I don’t like lingerie. I get in trouble for ruining it when I rip it off. I’d rather see a naked body in all its glory instead of having it covered with cheap fabric.” Whoa. Ok. The mood is not ruined anymore. Not by a long shot. Is it time to leave yet? Check please!

  Marjorie and her husband Norman entered the room to a chorus of “SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” and she just about jumped out of her skin.

 
“What? For me? How did you arrange all this and keep it a surprise?!” She looked as happy as I’d ever seen her, especially when her grandkids gave her a giant hug. She made her way around the room thanking all her well-wishers. Rocky and I stood up and went to congratulate her.

  After handing Marjorie a birthday card, I hugged them both and made introductions. “Norm and Marjorie, I’d like to introduce you to Rocky. He’s my date for this evening. Rocky, this is Norm and his lovely bride, the birthday girl!”

  Rocky shook their hands and acknowledged, “Happy Birthday and thank you for having me here. It’s nice to meet you. Violet speaks very highly of you both.”

  Norm eyed Rocky suspiciously and said, “Funny, I haven’t heard anything about you. How long have you known our Violet? And what are your intentions?”

  Before I had a chance to crawl into the floor, Marjorie piped in, “Norm! Where are your manners! If Violet likes this young man enough to bring him to my party then he must be decent.” Thank you!

  Rocky confidently continued, “I’ve only known Violet for a few weeks but it seems longer than that. I’m definitely lucky to have her in my life and I have only the best intentions toward her. Don’t worry. I’ll make sure to be a worthy boyfriend and treat her right. If I don’t, it appears there’s a growing list of people that will make my life a living hell!”

  “You’re damn right, son, and we’re on that list!” Norm threatened.

  Marjorie hit him on the arm and scolded, “Norman! Behave yourself! Violet can handle him just fine, can’t you dear?”

  Um, probably not. “Sure I can!” They went off to greet some late arrivals to the party and I hung my head in embarrassment.

  “Rocky, I don’t know why everyone is giving you the third degree. I’m sorry,” I squeaked.