Once Upon a Spy: A Secrets and Seduction Book

by Sheridan Jeane

  She kissed him with all her pent-up frustration and desire. She demanded that he kiss her back. She insisted that he respond. That he react to her.

  And he did.

  Robert wrapped his arms around her waist as he kicked the hidden door closed with his heel. He lifted her into his arms without breaking their kiss and moved though the semi-darkness around the headboard and toward the mattress. They tumbled onto it as they shared hungry, desperate kisses.

  The lamplight flickered, partially blocked by the headboard, and Robert’s eyes were like pools of darkness surrounded by rings of pale-blue light.

  “If I don’t leave now, I won’t be able to stop,” he said gruffly. “Not this time.”

  “I don’t want you to. Don’t leave. Don’t stop.”

  She slid her hands under his coat, pushing it over his broad shoulders. He needed no urging, and an instant later he pulled his shirt over his head. He loomed above her on the bed, bare-chested. A soft curling ribbon of hair wended its way down his chest and disappeared beneath his trousers. Antonia couldn’t resist touching it. It was as soft as it looked.

  Robert let out a gasp of air, and his abdomen tensed. He grabbed her exploring hand and pulled her to a sitting position. He quickly undid the fastenings of her bodice and skirt and then pulled her to her feet to divest her of them, leaving her standing in her underthings. He loosened her corset strings and then undid the metal fastenings that held it closed. She’d never been undressed so quickly and efficiently before, and in a trice she stood before him wearing only her chemise.

  He kicked off his shoes and trousers so that he was naked, and he pulled her against him. “I’ve been thinking of you like this all day,” he murmured. “Soft and willing and in my arms. I’ve never wanted anyone like this. I don’t —”

  “Don’t say more. I want you now. Tonight. Nothing more.” She slid her palms up his back and curled them over his shoulders, pulling him down to her. Kissing him.

  He gathered handfuls of her chemise, pulled it up and over her head, and tossed it to one side before crushing her against him. The heat of his skin against hers was overwhelming. He was both velvety soft and firm, and the soft hair of his chest tickled the tips of her breasts.

  He snapped back the coverlet on the bed and then pulled her into his arms and tumbled into it with her. She was on top of him at first, but then he rolled with her so that he was above her, pressing her down into the mattress with his weight.

  Antonia reveled in the sheer delight of being tossed about so easily by him. He leaned on one arm and gazed down at her. The soft, orange lamplight left one side of his face in shadows, but she could easily make out his roguish grin. He touched her collarbone and then slowly slid his hand down, down until he cupped the weight of her breast. When he brushed the tip with his thumb, she let out a gasp and arched her back slightly. He turned to the other breast, lowering his head to kiss it. A moment later he was suckling and nibbling at it, leaving her gasping in surprise and quaking with desire.

  She abandoned herself to his tender passion. He lifted his head and began nibbling at her neck, then closed his teeth on the small lobe of her ear. A shudder of excitement coursed through her.

  “Do you like that?”

  “Yes. It’s— I never imagined— I— I can hardly think clearly.”

  He suckled the lobe of her ear as he slid his leg between hers. He traced the rim of her ear with his tongue, and she couldn’t think about anything except the sensations that he awoke within her.

  His hand cupped her breast again, and then traveled down her stomach. When he touched the short, curly tangle between her legs, she gasped. He kissed her, his tongue sliding against hers. She moaned into him.

  He cupped his hand between her legs. One of his fingers delved between her folds. She gasped in surprise at the intimacy of his touch, but he didn’t stop. He continued exploring her body, and she reveled in each discovery he made. She shifted her legs to allow him better access.

  He adjusted his hand, and a moment later his finger moved inside her. She arched her back, aching with desire to have him there. To have him between her legs.

  He moved his hand, sliding his thumb up to a small, hard nub that seemed to have no other purpose than to be touched by him. She arched her back again, pushing into the sensation.

  Robert let out a low chuckle. “Like that, do you?”

  “Mmm.” She wanted more of him. She grabbed him by the back of his neck and pulled him down, kissing him as she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him close. She loved having him inside her this way, but she knew there was more. Much more.

  “Are you sure?” Robert asked.

  “I’ve never been surer about anything,” she managed to say.

  “It will hurt this first time. Your opening is small because of your maidenhead, and it will tear, but only this one time. If you want me to stop, you need to tell me now.”

  “I only want you to stop talking.”

  He pulled his hand away from between her legs and shifted her weight. A moment later he slid down her body, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake. “I want this to be perfect for you. I want you to want it so much you can’t imagine stopping.”

  He pressed a kiss to her damp curls and she let out a whimper. As his mouth covered her soft inner folds, her eyes rolled back. His tongue touched and swirled around the hard nub as his fingers slid in and out of her.

  A force began to build within her. An urgent need that consumed her. All that existed was this moment and this man. Nothing else.

  An explosion of delight tore through her, and she tried to muffle her cry of release. She turned her head into the pillow to stifle it.

  Robert shifted his weight and wrapped her legs around his waist, then settled his hips them. She felt something much larger pressing against her opening.

  His mouth lowered to hers and he kissed her, thoroughly and completely, until all thoughts disappeared from her mind. A moment later, he pushed into her and she felt the sharp, hot tearing of her maidenhead, just as he’d predicted. She froze and swallowed a cry of pain. Robert stopped moving, and the pain receded to a mild ache. A moment later she shifted against him, testing to see if movement would cause the pain to come roaring back. It didn’t.

  “Should I stop?” he asked.

  “No.” She shifted again, and Robert slowly began to move inside her. His hand slid between them and he gently teased the sensitive nub. Soon she was feeling that gathering of sensation again. She arched her back instinctively, and her belly slid against his. A sheen of perspiration slickened both their bodies.

  She gasped and pressed her nails into his shoulders. Then she pulled him closer. Her heart beat harder and harder, and she could see the quick flutter of his pulse in his throat.

  He thrust deeper into her slick embrace, and a moment later she began to shudder as spasms caused her to clench around him.

  He pushed in a long, gentle slide, moving faster and faster, plunging deep into her body. Fast, rhythmic slaps of flesh against flesh caused the bed to shake. His body shuddered with his violent release, and then he collapsed on the mattress next to her, rolling her with him.

  For a moment, they didn’t move. They stayed pressed against each other. Her heart continued to pound, easing ever so slowly. Robert’s breath was loud as well. She laid her palm flat on his chest and felt his heart thud. It wasn’t as fast as hers, but it beat hard, as though it might burst from his chest.

  He pulled her closer, kissing the top of her head. He ran gentle fingers up and down her spine, causing her to tremble against him. She shifted her leg, resting it across his thighs, reveling in the simple intimacy of the act.

  She traced her fingers down the dark, straight, soft hair of his chest, smoothing and stroking it into place. He hugged her against him and then stopped her fingers with his hand. “That tickles.”

  “I didn’t know you were ticklish.” She grinned at him. “That makes you vulnerable to me.” She blew on
his neck and he turned to kiss her, which turned out to be an efficient way to stop her.

  “There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” he said, and then planted a second kiss on her forehead. “We haven’t known each other long enough—”

  “Things happened quickly between us.” She laced her fingers in between his. As she gazed at them, she realized their intertwined hands represented both their unity and their isolation.

  “I’ve heard that dangerous situations can forge emotional bonds quickly,” he said, murmuring into her hair. “I never believed it before, but now—”

  “Now that you’ve experienced it?”

  He lifted their entwined hands up higher, staring at them in the low lantern light. “I’m a convert,” he said as he pulled her hand to his chest, just over his heart. “You and I have seen each other in the worst of circumstances. We’ve seen how the other reacts in times of stress. I think a person’s true nature shows in those moments.”

  “You’re a noble man, Robert. You would have made a wonderful knight. I can easily imagine you slaying dragons and saving damsels.”

  He stiffened. “Me?” He shook his head. “I think you’re wrong. I’ve gone through life avoiding entanglements. Dragons? Damsels? Never. It isn’t in me.”

  She recalled the way she’d feigned being lightheaded the night they’d first met. He’d helped her, even when he’d put his mission in danger, and later that same night he’d rescued her from those men in the alley. Even when she’d tried to send him away, he’d come to the theater to make sure she’d be safe. If he hadn’t, the Russians would have kidnapped her, of that she was certain. At every turn, he’d watched over her and taken care of her again and again. He’d even opened his home to her. “I don’t think you see yourself clearly. You’ve saved me many times in the past few days.”

  He brushed his thumb over the outside of her hand in a gentle caress. “I suppose you bring it out in me. I’m not like that with others.”

  “I haven’t seen you around many other people, so I don’t have much of a comparison, but you certainly seem protective of Frederick.”

  “He’s my younger brother. I don’t have much of an alternative.”

  “Admit it. There’s more to you than you like to pretend. I think you’ve been hiding who you are for so long you’ve begun to fool even yourself.”

  “No. It’s you. It’s this situation.” He disentangled his fingers from hers. “If you saw me on a normal day instead of whatever this is we’ve been sharing, you’d see the real me. As soon as things go back to normal, you’ll see me as I truly am. I don’t think you’ll like me as much.”

  She clutched at his hand before he could pull it away. “Let’s not talk about the future. Not even about tomorrow. I don’t know what will happen, and I’d prefer to spend these moments in a blissful bubble. Let’s not spoil it.”

  “I understand, but…” He let out a heavy sigh. “There’s my brother. My sister. The servants. Your sisters—”

  “You’re afraid we’ll be discovered.”

  “We have a house full of people who might find us in here.”

  “Can’t you stop thinking, just for a while?”

  Robert’s stomach trembled with his suppressed laughter. “Apparently not. I don’t think I’m constitutionally able to.” He sat up and reached for his shirt at the foot of his bed.

  Their interlude was over. The bubble had burst.

  Antonia rolled off the bed, immediately missing the warmth of his body. As she tugged her chemise over her head, he dragged on his trousers and tucked in his shirt. “Since the door leading back into the study is jammed, I’ll have to use your bedroom door. The sooner I slip away, the better.”

  She nodded as he sat down on the edge of the bed directly in front of her and tugged on his boots. As she watched him hurry to leave, something tightened in her chest. It must have shown on her face, because when he looked at her, his expression became tender.

  He took her hand and pulled her to him so she stood between his legs. As he wrapped his arms around her waist and gazed up at her with those gorgeous, soulful eyes, her heart melted. “I wish I could stay,” he said. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am I have to leave you. I’d love to sleep here with you wrapped in my arms.”

  She gazed down at him, his face soft and vulnerable in the dim light. “Are you sure that we are awake? It seems to me that yet we sleep, we dream,” she murmured.

  He smiled in recognition. “Shakespeare?”

  She nodded. “Midsummer Night’s Dream.”

  He pressed a kiss on her breastbone, and she couldn’t resist smoothing his tousled hair with her fingers. If she wasn’t careful, she’d fall in love with this man, and then where would she be? She already knew. Foolish and alone and longing for a life she could never have.

  He gazed up at her, his eyes full of longing. “I want to be able to stay with you. To claim you. Maybe we can—”

  She cut him off by stepping away. “No talk about the future. I won’t think about it right now. We have tonight.” She grabbed both his hands and pulled him to his feet. “Go.”

  CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

  He that gives good advice, builds with one hand; he that gives good counsel and example, builds with both; but he that gives good admonition and bad example, builds with one hand and pulls down with the other.

  - Francis Bacon

  Robert found his brother in the breakfast room. “We need to talk. I made a disturbing discovery last night.” Robert dragged his hand through his hair.

  Frederick stilled his movements, focusing entirely on Robert.

  “Come to my study.”

  Without a word, Frederick tossed his napkin on the table and followed Robert down the hallway.

  This early, the house was still, but Robert took no chances. Once inside the room, he locked the door.

  Frederick grew more intent.

  Robert crossed to the bookcase with Frederick on his heels. He deftly manipulated the release. The door sprang open.

  “The staircase?”

  Robert gestured toward the lamp on the table. “Bring that.”

  Once inside, Robert pulled a small can from his pocket and dripped some machine oil onto the corroded latch. He didn’t want to risk being trapped in here again.

  “Last night, I realized this was the perfect place to hide the church register.” Robert gestured toward the two bags. “I was right. In all the years since Father’s death, we never found these.”

  Frederick moved closer. “The missing money?”

  Robert nodded. “This changes everything for us. I can compensate everyone he swindled without delay. Don’t worry. They won’t know where the money came from. Since starting down this path a few years ago, I’ve grown adept at convincing people of their own good fortune.”

  Frederick let out a heavy sigh. “That only solves the smaller part of our problem. With the evidence of Father’s treason still missing, our family will never be safe. The Queen will never stop searching for her proof. Even now it could be catastrophic if it fell into the wrong hands.”

  Robert couldn’t hide the smile of satisfaction that slid over his face. “In that case, you’ll be pleased to learn I found this as well.” Robert picked up the small box and handed it to Frederick. “I’m giving it to you. You’re better suited to deal with it than I am. I’m confident you’ll examine all the risks and choose the wisest path.”

  Frederick opened the box and peered inside. “You found it,” he said, his voice almost a whisper.

  “You decide what to do with it. I’ll support whatever choice you make.”

  Frederick’s grip tightened on the box, then he handed it back to Robert. “I need to speak with someone about this and get his advice. Keep this here for the time being. I’ll seek him out after we leave court today. He’ll be able to look at this clearly and help me determine the best course of action.”

  Robert took the box, staring at it. “Do you believe in fate? Destiny?”


  Frederick’s eyebrows dove down as he furrowed his brow. “I believe people drive their own destinies. Fate is an excuse weak men use to explain away their shortcomings.”

  Robert shook his head. “I used to agree with you, but from the moment I first noticed Antonia the night of the ball, even before we spoke, I sensed fate brought her to me. I brushed it aside, but after she stole the book, I attributed that odd sensation to the theft. Now— what if this all happened for a reason? What if she came into my life to finally compel me to confront my past? She’s been the driving force behind everything that’s happened over the past few days. She made me care— made me become involved in something real. And now, if not for the fact that she wanted to hide that book, I never would have opened the door to the staircase and found this box.”

  Frederick shook his head sharply. “Coincidence. You embraced the changes in your life because you were ready to move on, not because of fate.”

  Robert stared at him. “You’ve always said you don’t believe in coincidence. You can’t have it both ways.”

  Frederick opened his mouth, and then closed it. “You’re a bad influence. Fate. Coincidence. Bah. Next you'll be talking about love.” He turned and stalked from the chamber, leaving Robert alone with his thoughts.

  CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

  At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst.

  - Aristotle

  Daylight awoke Antonia early the following morning and she stretched languorously, only to freeze at the twinge of pain between her legs. The sensation was akin to being badly chafed— but she’d never before had that particular part of her anatomy chafed. She shifted around in bed, testing the extent of the pain, and determined it was nothing that would bother her overmuch throughout the day. As it was, the sensation served to prove that last night truly had happened. It wasn’t simply a dream. It had been real.

  She smiled to herself as she rose from her bed, and the smile remained as she quickly bathed and dressed. She glanced at herself in the looking-glass, trying to see if she looked different. The same face stared back at her. She looked as she always had. That was strange. Such a life-altering event should have marked her in some way.