Heartfire

by Karen Rose Smith

  "It would have to be this coming Saturday," Max said.

  Tessa looked to him for encouragement. "Could we do it? It shouldn't be too difficult."

  "That depends on how much time you're willing to give it. We have to keep them entertained, so we'd have to plan a few games."

  Tessa turned toward Mrs. Bartlett. "What do you think?"

  The teacher laughed. "This would probably be very good for Ryan if he feels involved. Maybe even let him make some of the decisions."

  "Let's do it, Max."

  He smiled. "If you're willing, I'm willing." He asked Mrs. Bartlett, "Do you have any suggestions for games?"

  "I have a book at home that could help."

  "Maybe I could pick it up tomorrow afternoon."

  "That would be fine."

  Someone tentatively touched Tessa's arm. Kevin stood beside her, a wide grin on his face. "Would you like to dance?"

  Tessa glanced at Max. He gave her no clue as to what he was thinking. The shoulder-rocking rhythm made her want to tap her foot and she realized Kevin was waiting expectantly. "Sure. It's hard to stand still to this song."

  She felt a few sets of eyes on her as she followed Kevin to the middle of the room. But once she and the teenager started to dance, they blended in with the crowd.

  Max watched Tessa move to the music. He took his finger around his collar because it suddenly felt too tight. Did she have any idea how desirable she was? He was almost jealous of Kevin, and that was ridiculous. He wished he hadn't overheard her conversation with Weaver. He wasn't surprised Weaver had approached her. Al had asked other teachers to convince him to come back to coaching, too.

  When Tessa stood up for his decision not to coach this year, he'd been pleased. But then...

  He heard her words again. Sometimes a person does what he should do, rather than what he wants to do. Was Tessa only helping him with Ryan because she felt some obligation to Leslie? Or had she stayed because she’d wanted to stay? It shouldn't matter, but it did.

  When the song ended and another began, the teenagers formed a line. Kevin said something to Tessa. She shrugged and nodded. Next thing Max knew, she was in the line, dancing. She laughed with the kids, looked as if she knew what she was doing and thoroughly enjoying herself.

  When the music stopped for a moment, Max strode toward her.

  Kevin took a step away. "I guess it's your turn now, Coach."

  Max said to Tessa, "That depends on the lady."

  Tessa's eyes opened wider for a moment. "I'd like to dance with you." She smiled at Kevin. "Thanks."

  As the music blared again, Tessa and Max squared off and moved to the beat. He asked her, "Do you go dancing often?"

  "Sometimes to clubs in London when I'm there for more than a few days."

  He frowned. "Anyone in particular go with you?"

  She seemed surprised he asked. "I know a few journalists. I give them a call when I'm back, and we get together."

  As Tessa's hips shimmied in time with the music, Max opened his top shirt button under his tie.

  They danced to two more songs, then Max asked her, "Would you like to take a break?"

  "Yes. Fresh air would be nice."

  "We really should check the grounds to make sure all the kids are behaving."

  When they stepped outside, the autumn breeze brushed them. He saw Tessa shiver. "We should have stopped for your coat."

  "I'm fine."

  He smiled. "Then why do you have your arms wrapped around you?" He took off his suit coat and placed it around her shoulders. It would be so easy to bend down and kiss her.

  "What about you?" she asked.

  "Don't you know men are more hot blooded than women?" Being with her tonight was making his blood boil when he least expected it.

  She laughed. "There's scientific evidence to prove that, of course."

  "Of course," he teased. She looked protected with his coat around her small shoulders. He wondered if the material would pick up the scent of her perfume. He suddenly realized Tessa was wearing perfume. He'd never noticed it on her before. Had she bought it just for tonight? For some reason the thought pleased him.

  Hundreds of stars liberally dotted the black sky. The moon hung suspended like a golden ball, almost round. Max took a deep breath of autumn air and walked toward the edge of the parking lot.

  "It's wonderful out here, isn't it?" Tessa commented. "Too often I'm too busy to see the stars."

  "That happens to all of us." Max stuffed his hands in his pockets so he wasn't tempted to touch her. The moon on her face, the slight breeze teasing her curls, urged him to trace her profile with his fingers and play in her hair. He closed his hands into fists. "Ryan tells me you have a birthday coming up. I can't believe we've known each other nine years and I don't even know the date."

  She stopped for a moment then resumed walking. "November second."

  "He'll get a kick out of you blowing out candles."

  "I won't be here, Max."

  This time he stopped. "I thought you were staying till mid November."

  She put her hand on his arm, bringing him warmth and gentleness. "I am. I won't go back on my word. But that weekend I have to go to New York to meet with a segment producer at Crandall News about Oslo. I'm going over the info I've collected—where diplomats are staying, that type of thing. We'll also look over future projects."

  For the past couple of weeks, Max had put aside what Tessa did for a living. Maybe that's why his attraction to her was becoming too strong to ignore.

  Again, he remembered what she'd said to Al Weaver. Sometimes a person does what he should do. Suddenly it was extremely important to know exactly why Tessa had stayed in Jenkins. "Tessa, why do you want to help Ryan?"

  She stopped and faced Max. "Because I love him."

  "That's all?"

  She hesitated a moment, then said, "Because he's Leslie's son."

  "So...you feel obligated."

  "Max, what's this all about?"

  "If you're staying here out of some sense of duty or nobility and you don't want to be here, that's the wrong reason."

  "Even if it helps Ryan?"

  "So that is why you stayed."

  She shook her head. "It's all mixed together. I can't separate one from the other."

  Max fell silent, and Tessa wondered why he'd asked those questions. A thought struck her that made her throat tighten. She swallowed a few times. "Are you tired of me being here? Do you want me to leave? I never meant to interfere in your life—"

  He took her by the shoulders. "No, that's not it at all."

  The deep brown of his eyes, the intensity smoldering there, made her pulse gallop. "Then why the questions, Max?"

  "Because I don't want you here out of some sense of duty."

  She wanted to reach out and stroke the lines on his forehead, the worry around his mouth. But she was afraid, so she kept her hands at her sides. "I want to be here. Do you believe me?"

  After a very long moment, he answered her. "Yes."

  A train whistle blew in the distance. Muted music vibrated in the fire hall. Leaves danced around Tessa's feet as the breeze pushed them into the corner of the building. Time seemed to stand still.

  Taking one of the curls along Tessa's cheek between his thumb and forefinger, Max felt its silky softness. "I don't think I've told you how pretty you look tonight."

  No one had ever told her she looked pretty. But then, she didn't dress up very often. Unreasonably, her lip quivered. "Thank you."

  He must have seen the trembling because he traced his thumb across that lip. He was close enough that she could smell his cologne, a scent that mixed with his male scent. The touch of his rougher skin against her soft lip sent shock waves through her.

  She lifted her head, and he bent his.

  The kiss was gentle and easy until his tongue slipped into her mouth. Her knees went weak and she grabbed onto him. His arms came around her to hold her to him. His powerful thighs strained against her.
He tasted male and hot.

  Abruptly he ended the quick burst of passion by tearing away and stepping back. Swearing, he raked his hand through his hair. "This is wrong."

  Maybe it was time they both faced up to what was happening. "Why?"

  "Because...Leslie was my wife and your best friend."

  The loss of Leslie still hurt. Tessa would never forget their hours of conversation, secrets they'd shared, a bond that would never die. But Tessa had had plenty of experience facing reality, so maybe she could accept it easier than others, easier than Max. "She's been gone for three years."

  A myriad of emotions played over his face. "So that means I should forget all about her and go back to where we left off nine years ago?" He sounded not only confused but bitter.

  "No, of course you shouldn't. You'll never forget her, and I won't, either. She wasn't just my friend, she was the only close friend I ever had. She was the first person I could talk to about my hopes and dreams and fears. She listened and she accepted me for who I was. No one else has ever done that for me. I loved her, Max."

  For once Max's guard was down. Turbulent emotions played across his face. "And I did, too. Never once did I wish anything had been different. My feelings for you died when you left, and for the past nine years you've been Leslie's best friend. Nothing more. So what is happening now?"

  Tessa lifted her chin and met his gaze head-on. "We were attracted to each other once. Living in the same house, taking care of Ryan together has stirred up the chemistry again. That's all."

  Max slashed his hand through the air. "That's all? Have you thought about what it means? Both of us know why it didn't work before. Your career. And that hasn't changed. Has it?"

  She had to be truthful. "No, it hasn't."

  He took a step away, her honesty driving a huge wedge between them.

  The rattle of the fire hall doors opening preceded a burst of laughter as a group of teenagers spilled into the parking lot.

  Max's face was blank now, his guard firmly back in place. He motioned toward the noise. "We'd better go back in."

  There was nothing Tessa could say to ease the tension. Because nothing had changed. But maybe for the first time in her adult life she wondered if it could.

  Chapter Eight

  The burnished leaves covered the grass in a thick layer. Tessa fought a losing battle, trying to rake them into one large pile in the corner of the yard as the breeze ruffled and sent them skittering away. She'd needed something physical to do this afternoon so she could burn off disturbing feelings from last night and everything she and Max had said to each other. As they'd made breakfast this morning, they'd been so polite.

  Tessa worked with renewed vigor, the rhythmic clawing sound of the rake on the leaves somehow soothing her. She had prevented herself from falling in love with Max nine years ago. She'd told herself she could enjoy his friendship and move on, and she'd made it clear to him from the beginning she'd intended to move on. But had he fallen in love with her? And had she killed that love by leaving and following her dream?

  After Leslie told Tessa she and Max were dating, Tessa had tried to forget about Max. And she'd managed to do that pretty well most of the time. Not long after Leslie and Max married, Tessa thought she'd fallen in love. She'd been covering the war in the Mid East. So had Phil Evans. One eventful day, they'd both almost been killed by stray gunfire. Nothing had seemed more precious than life, and they'd turned to each other in the midst of chaos. But six weeks later, Phil had moved on—to another country, another war. He'd left her without looking back.

  Had Tessa done that to Max?

  Tessa stopped raking and gazed up at the grey-blue sky. No, she'd looked back. Often. Only Max didn't know that.

  She sighed and used the back of her rake to push the leaves she'd gathered into a high, neat pile. All her life she'd been taught that love hurt. Her mother had loved her father and he'd deserted them both. Her mother had loved Tessa so much she'd given her to strangers to raise. By the time she'd met Max, she'd been safeguarding her heart carefully for a long time. And when Phil took off without a backward glance, she'd decided from then on to keep herself protected. Her work had to be her life. Losing hurt too much.

  Losing Leslie had hurt most of all.

  The sound of a car broke Tessa's bout of introspection. Max pulled into the driveway, and she kept raking. But a few minutes later, she couldn't ignore him when he stood in the path of her rake.

  She lifted her head and found him studying her. All six foot two of him, rugged and much too appealing in a grey Penn State sweatshirt and worn jeans. Her heart fluttered and she felt like crying. She hadn't cried since Leslie died. It wasn't her usual reaction to a problem or confusion. Activity was.

  She raked around Max's sneakers.

  He put his hands over hers on the rake, stopping the motion. "Tessa, what are we going to do? This strain between us isn't good for either of us. Or Ryan."

  He obviously knew that would get her attention. She took a deep breath and met his eyes. "What do you suggest?"

  "We could try being friends. I don't know if we've ever been that to each other. Even in the beginning...we didn't know each other very well."

  Her heart fluttered because his hand covered hers. He emanated a virility she'd found in few men, and she vividly remembered last night's kiss. "And what about the rest?"

  After he released her, he leaned away. "We're adults. We can control what we do. For your sake, mine and Ryan's we have to keep this simple. I'll try if you will."

  Oh, she'd try. But he was discounting feelings in his formula. She'd just have to keep a lid on hers and hope that was enough. "I'd like to be your friend, Max."

  He gave her a crooked smile. "I have Mrs. Bartlett's book in the car. Ready to plan a party?"

  "As ready as I'll ever be. I guess for Halloween, we'll have to come up with decorations, too."

  He waved to the garage. "There's some stuff Leslie made stored in the crawl space. I'll pull it out."

  Suddenly Ryan came skipping out of the house, a milk-and-crumbs mustache hanging across his upper lip. "What are you doing?"

  She let the rake fall and stooped down beside him to wipe away the crumbs. "Waiting for you to play a game with me."

  His eyes sparkled. "What?"

  She pointed to the pile of leaves. "See that?"

  "Yeah."

  She whispered into his ear, "It's great to mess up. Do you want to try?"

  He grinned. "By jumping in it?"

  "How else?"

  With a conspiratorial wink at Ryan, she jumped and landed on her bottom in the pile, the leaves toppling over her. "Come on," she called.

  Ryan landed close beside her and waved his arms, pushing leaves in all directions. He tried to cover her with them. She returned the action in kind and tickled him. He giggled and giggled, and Tessa thought she'd never heard a more wonderful sound.

  Above the ruckus, Max called, "While you two undo everything you've done, I have papers to grade and lesson plans to finish."

  Tessa stopped tormenting Ryan and slapped the leaves in front of her. "You could join us."

  Ryan chimed in, "Yeah, Dad. Jump. You'll really make them fly."

  Max smiled ruefully and shook his head. "Not this time." Crossing to the car, he picked up a book then went into the house.

  Tessa had to ask herself what would have happened if Max had jumped into the leaves, if they'd tumbled together, playing and laughing. If they were going to be "friends," she'd have to set her impulses aside, even imaginary ones.

  ***

  Monday morning, Tessa pushed the cart through the grocery store. She'd decided to start planning the Halloween party by coming here first. She'd found recipes for cute little Halloween cookies—the kind Leslie would have made. Tessa had never baked cookies before, but how hard could it be to roll out dough, bake it and ice it? She'd also found a recipe for a cake designed in the shape of a pumpkin. Sure, she could buy something but she felt she had some
thing to prove...to herself or to Max?

  As she passed through the baked goods section, she tossed confectioner's sugar and cinnamon into her basket, thinking about Ryan's costume. He'd said he wanted to be Robin Hood. How difficult could it be to make a green tunic? Max had pulled Leslie's sewing machine out of the storage space and he and Tessa had figured out how it worked. Ryan was excited already about the party. Tessa was going to make it the best Halloween he would ever experience. Just like Leslie would have.

  At least if she was busy with the party, she'd be less aware of Max. After Max had said his piece yesterday, tension had eased. But she still felt every nerve go on red alert when he came near. She still felt the sound of his voice to her toes. She'd be the first to admit she was confused about what was happening between them.

  "Max Winthrop."

  Tessa had been thinking about him, but she hadn't said his name out loud. Someone else had.

  "Her name's Tessa Kahill. I've seen her on the news and on TV specials. I’ve read her blogs and articles on that news website."

  Tessa craned her neck and could just see over the boxes of cake mix into the next aisle. Nothing could keep her from eavesdropping.

  A black-haired woman said, "They were at the dance together. She acted like a teenager, dancing with the students. He just stood and watched her. He was probably mortified. I hear she was a friend of his wife's. And she's living with him!"

  A blond-highlighted, brunette shook her head. "I heard she's only staying a few weeks. She travels around the world. I can't imagine why she'd want to stay here even for a little while."

  "I can. He's a well put together red-blooded male. She's a red-blooded female. You can't tell me there's nothing going on in that house when his son's asleep."

  How dare these women judge Max? How dare they butt into his private business? Tessa opened her mouth, then closed it again. Max would hate it if she caused a scene. She wondered what other rumors were spreading across town. Suddenly she remembered Al Weaver's statement that he knew she and Max were "close." What did he think he knew?

  Her cart rattled as she pushed it down the aisle to finish her shopping. She'd better not end up in the same check-out line as those two women or she'd be tempted to set them straight. Nothing was going on between her and Max. Nothing at all.