Love Inspired Historical November 2015

by Linda Ford

  Linette and Eddie both gasped.

  “I expect the Mounties will have captured him by now.” Nate tried to sound assuring. “But until we hear that’s the case, I’d appreciate knowing everyone is watching for the man.”

  Eddie nodded. “We certainly will be.”

  Linette got to her feet. “I must finish supper preparations. Slim—I mean, Nate—you will stay and eat with us.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Louise looked at Nate then and grinned.

  He gave a mocking smile. “You don’t argue with the boss’s wife,” he murmured.

  Linette made a dismissive noise. “It will be ready shortly, but first I must feed young Jonathan.” The baby had barely made a fuss, while Chloe protested every time Nate stopped rocking.

  “Chloe needs to eat, too.” As Louise took her baby from Nate, her gaze connected with his. She wanted him to understand she was sorry but feared all her eyes showed was her regret that it was time to end their pretend marriage.

  His look told her nothing and she turned away, lest he see how much she wanted him to stay.

  She and Linette fed their babies in the kitchen. Linette insisted Louise take the rocking chair while she sat in an armed wooden chair.

  Meanwhile, Missy set the table and followed Linette’s clear instructions on what needed to be done.

  The meal was excellent, roast beef as she had never before tasted, plenty of potatoes, carrots and canned beans that Linette said came from her own garden.

  Louise would have enjoyed the meal more if her thoughts didn’t whirl around in her head seeking some way to let Nate know she wanted the marriage to last.

  As soon as was polite, Nate stood. “Thanks for the meal. Now I’ll call it a night. I’ll sleep in the bunkhouse with the boys.”

  “You’re more than welcome to stay with your wife,” Linette protested.

  “I think he’s hoping for a good night’s sleep.” Louise prayed she’d succeeded in sounding a little amused as she followed Nate to the door. Words crowded her mind. Words she ached to have the right to say. I love you. Please stay with me. And she didn’t mean tonight in this house. She meant forever.

  He paused a moment at the entryway, looking down at her. She wouldn’t meet his gaze. She understood his reasons for hurrying away. He’d fulfilled his promise to get her safely to Eden Valley Ranch. Now he was angry or at least disappointed that she had cost him his ranch. Though, to be perfectly fair, he had understood he had until Christmas.

  He pressed his big hand to the back of her neck like a hug. “Take care of yourself and Chloe.”

  And Missy, she silently added. Until Vic was captured, none of them would feel safe, though Eden Valley Ranch offered a degree of protection.

  He opened the door, stepped outside and shut the door behind him while she stood there rooted to the spot.

  His words had sounded like a blessing.

  And a final goodbye.

  Tears clogged her throat, but she swallowed them. She was strong. Hadn’t several people said so? Well, now was the time to be as strong as everyone thought she was, even though she felt as weak as little Chloe.

  She returned to the others and helped Linette with the dishes. All the while she answered the woman’s questions without having any idea what she said.

  “I’ll show you to your rooms,” Linette said after some time. She led them to the little hall off the kitchen and showed Missy to one room and Louise to another.

  “Oh, there’s a rocking chair. Thank you. Chloe thinks she has to be rocking all the time.”

  “Nate mentioned it. That’s why I’ve given you this room.”

  “Thank you.”

  Linette left and Louise was alone with Chloe. Really alone. Nate wouldn’t be taking the baby in the night. He wasn’t nearby to comfort Louise.

  Knowing she would be unable to sleep, she opened her new Bible. Another reminder of Nate.

  As she read various passages, resolve grew strong and sure in her heart.

  Tomorrow she would talk to Nate. She would tell him that she was willing to make their marriage agreement permanent. She would not tell him she loved him for fear it would cause him to feel obligated to stay with her. No, she’d simply point out the advantages, remind him of his affection for Chloe. If he still wanted the marriage annulled, she would let him go without a fuss. She’d move on. She’d be strong and she’d be—

  The tears came so fierce and violent, like a storm of water and weeping. She cried them all out because there would be no crying tomorrow when she talked to Nate.

  The next morning, he did not join them for breakfast. She hadn’t expected he would. But surely he would come before the morning was out.

  She talked, fed the baby, answered Linette’s many questions until she was certain the woman knew everything about her, but her mind constantly waited for Nate to appear.

  Morning dragged by. She was alternately annoyed—one would think he might want to check on Chloe at least, or make sure Louise’s bruises weren’t bothersome—and hurt and angry. Was she to be forgotten so easily?

  Finally she could stand it no longer. When Eddie joined them for dinner, she spoke as calmly as she could. “If Nate isn’t too busy, could you tell him I’d like to speak to him?” At the very least, they needed to discuss what happened next.

  Eddie put his fork down, gave Linette a look full of secrets, then turned to Louise. “He’s gone. Didn’t he tell you he was going to try and catch up to Mountain Mike?”

  The floorboards could have parted and made a way for her to fall through, so great was her shock and surprise. Then a blinding, painful anger left her speechless and drained.

  Somehow she made it through the meal. Later, she and Linette nursed their babies. There was something reassuring about seeing Linette with her baby that gave Louise more confidence in her ability to mother this wee helpless child.

  “You’ll have to forgive Nate,” Linette said. “He’s not been married long enough to understand he needs to let you know his plans.”

  “I’m not surprised. I learned long ago that no one stays. Nothing remains the same.” But it had never mattered as much as it did now. She should have told him when she had the chance that she wanted him to stay, but she hadn’t. Perhaps she’d never get another opportunity.

  Linette considered her with understanding and sympathy. “Nothing ever stays the same. Nor should it. Life is too full of opportunities for us to sit back and refuse to move forward.”

  Louise nodded, unable to say that all she wanted was someone who would not leave her.

  Before she could find a reply, Eddie strode in, brushing snow from his coat. “There’s bad weather moving in.”

  Linette’s gaze darted to Louise’s and then back to her husband.

  Louise realized what concerned Linette. “Nate is out there, isn’t he? Will he be able to find shelter?”

  “I hope so.” Eddie did his best to sound reassuring but failed.

  Louise thought of the storm they had ridden through on the trail. Blinding snow, freezing. If a man were lost out there… She shuddered.

  Her only consolation was to think of the story he had told of making a snow cave and surviving the elements that way.

  Lord, God of everything everywhere, please help him find shelter. Don’t let him die.

  If he froze out there and she’d never gotten the courage to tell him she loved him…why, she’d regret it to her final day.

  *

  Nate had lived in the mountains long enough to recognize all the warning signs of a storm. This morning the sun had had a halo around it. The horizon had been gray all morning. He’d even ridden by a rabbit hiding in some brush and the animal had not moved. Even more telling was that Mountain Mike had known it was coming.

  Yes, Nate had seen the signs but ignored them. Even when snow started to fall and the wind picked up, he had ridden onward, set on finding the mountain man and buying the ranch from him.

  Without a home,
he had nothing to offer Louise.

  Now the snow came down so heavy, he couldn’t see. The wind blew with cruel intensity, making it impossible to stay warm. Impossible to get any sense of direction. There had been little enough trail to follow with clear skies. Now there was nothing. His horse had stopped moving and Nate didn’t want to guide him forward not knowing what lay ahead. It could be a cliff with a life-claiming drop. He might never see Louise or Chloe again.

  No. He would survive.

  He slid from the horse and held tight to the reins. The horse was his only way of getting back to the ranch once the storm was over.

  God, show me a safe place.

  He stumbled forward, his free hand outstretched, lifting each foot and lowering it gingerly until he knew it hit solid ground.

  Something brushed his head. He reached up to feel it. A tree. Trees meant shelter. Thank You, God. He eased forward farther. The wind howled above his head but seemed less fierce around his shoulders.

  Branches caught at his legs and arms. He must have stepped into bushes. He pushed into them, drawing his horse after him. They were sheltered enough here. He persuaded the horse to lie down, then pulled the bedroll from the saddle. He draped the blankets and groundsheet about his shoulders and head, and sat with his back to the horse. Together they would keep each other warm.

  They would survive because he had to get back and tell Louise he didn’t want to end the marriage. He wanted it to be real and lasting. He wanted to be Chloe’s father, Louise’s husband. He loved her.

  Why had he never realized it before?

  Snow continued to fall until he was encased in it. The bitter cold seeped into the very marrow of his bones. He couldn’t tell if it was day or night or how many hours had passed. It grew increasingly difficult to put one thought after another. The cold was affecting his brain. He could barely stay awake.

  It would be so easy to let sleep claim him.

  Chapter Twenty

  The next morning, Louise rushed from the bedroom the moment she heard anyone moving about. The storm had battered the house all night. She’d shivered through the hours though she wasn’t cold.

  Nate was out there, perhaps lost and freezing.

  She might never get a chance to tell him how she felt. How she’d felt for a very long time, though she had been denying it in her attempt to hold on to the way things were before the Porters died. Now she saw that none of that mattered. They were temporary, as she’d learned. One thing alone had survived the deaths and trouble of her life. Love. It was all that mattered. Love was reason enough to leave the past and go boldly into the future, no matter what lay ahead.

  Linette stood before the kitchen stove as Louise stepped into the room.

  Louise skidded to a halt. She couldn’t force herself to ask the question for which she feared to hear the answer.

  Linette smiled gently. “We left lamps in all the windows in case he tried to find his way home, but no one has come or left all night. Eddie will send out men to look for him the minute the storm lets up.”

  Louise nodded, tears so close to the surface she couldn’t speak.

  “I’m sorry. I know how difficult this is. But we can only wait and pray. It might comfort you to know everyone on the place is praying for his safe return.”

  She nodded again. She’d read the Bible throughout the night, finding comfort and strength in the words. Feeling Nate very close, knowing he’d chosen this Bible for her.

  She perched Chloe in one arm. “Tell me what I can do to help.”

  Linette, perhaps realizing it helped pass the time to keep busy, assigned her chore after chore from breakfast right through the morning.

  As they ate the noon meal, Eddie stopped with his fork in midair and held up a hand to signal them all. “Listen. Do you hear that?”

  Expecting he heard someone on the step, Louise rushed to the window. She peered through the glass, her breath stuck in the middle of her chest. “There’s no one out there,” she murmured, disappointment consuming her thoughts.

  “The storm has stopped,” Eddie said, and pushed from the table. “I’ll see to getting a search party out.” He paused to pat her back. “Don’t worry. We’ll find him.”

  “We’ll pray,” Linette said, kissing her husband goodbye.

  Louise returned to her chair, her head bowed. A silent prayer echoed over and over in her head. Lord, please bring him back safely.

  Somehow, she went through the motions of helping Linette, of talking to Missy and of feeding little Chloe, though tears dripped from her cheeks as she watched the baby. Nate belonged in Chloe’s life, too. Even more than Gordie had. Gordie had been a distant husband and would have been a distant father, more interested in his own pursuits than the needs of those around him. She’d known it even before she married him.

  She knew now that their marriage had been but another vain attempt on her part to hold on to the things that were over and done with.

  At some point, they moved into the sitting room where they could see the ranch below. Linette sat at the window watching, but Louise could not. She sat as far back as possible and tried to avoid looking in the direction of the window.

  Linette leaned forward. “Riders coming in.”

  Despite her intention of not leaping to the window every time a horseman came, Louise jumped to her feet, Chloe in her arms, and hurried over. “Can you tell who it is?”

  “Not yet.”

  Louise squinted as four riders approached. Did one man slump in his saddle? Did two of the men hold him there? “Nate. It’s him. He’s hurt.” She dashed for the door.

  Linette caught her before she could hurry outside. “Wait. They’ll bring him here.” She held Louise back.

  Louise’s heart lay cold and quivering, unable to function properly until she saw him. Until she could be certain he was—

  Her thoughts could go no further.

  The hoofbeats came toward the door.

  She forgot how to breathe.

  Linette released her and pulled the door open. Two men held Nate between them.

  Was he breathing?

  He lifted his head, saw her, gasped her name.

  Her legs turned to pudding. She would have collapsed if someone hadn’t caught her.

  “Bring him to the kitchen,” Linette ordered.

  The men helped him stumble down the hall and sat him in the rocking chair.

  Louise fell to her knees before Nate. Shifting her baby in her arms, she removed his gloves. His hands were like ice.

  Linette had the men remove his coat and told Missy to leave the room as the men removed his stiff jeans and wet shirt. She took Chloe with her and went to the sitting room.

  Louise remained. A dozen horses couldn’t have dragged her away. She touched his bare chest. “You’re so cold.”

  He mumbled something, but she couldn’t make out his words.

  Meanwhile, Linette had warmed blankets and handed them to Louise. “Wrap him up. We need to get his body temperature back to normal.”

  Louise swaddled him from head to toe in the warm blankets, pressing her palms to his chest when she finished.

  His eyes found her, full of need and longing that she recognized from the cries of her own heart.

  “I’m here,” she murmured. “I will always be here.”

  A smile crossed his eyes.

  Linette brought a cup of warm liquid. “This has something in it my Indian friend gave me. It will help.”

  Louise pulled a chair so close their legs pressed against each other as she sat beside him and held the cup as he sipped from it.

  A bit later, Linette touched his neck. “His body temperature is rising.”

  “I’m fine,” he croaked.

  Louise didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the familiarity of his words. “That’s what I always say.”

  “Even when it’s not true.” Color had returned to his face.

  She looked deep into his eyes, wanting to tell him something that was
very true.

  His gaze searched hers. She hoped he saw what she couldn’t say with all these people clustered around.

  He turned to Eddie, who stood nearby, hovering as if afraid Nate might not make it.

  Louise knew he would. She’d seen the flash of fierceness in his eyes.

  “You suppose you could get me some clothes?” Nate asked him.

  “Buster is bringing you some,” Eddie answered.

  “Good.” Nate sighed and emptied the cup. His fingers rested against hers as she still clutched it, not wanting to lose this bit of contact.

  Buster stepped into the room, a bundle of clothes in his arms. He stared at Nate. “You going to be okay?”

  “I sure am.”

  Eddie thanked Buster and took the clothes to Nate.

  “If you’ll all give me a moment of privacy…” he said.

  No one moved.

  “Allow a man to retain a shred of pride.”

  “I’ll stay,” Louise said.

  But he shook his head. “I don’t want you to remember me at my weakest.”

  “Very well. Eddie, will you stay?” She couldn’t think of him alone in his present state.

  Eddie nodded. “I’ll make sure he’s okay.”

  Louise reluctantly followed Linette to the sitting room, where Missy rocked Chloe and Jonathan slept in his cradle.

  In a moment, Eddie stepped into the room. “He’s decent and would like a few minutes alone with his wife.” He held the door for her and closed it behind her as she returned to the kitchen.

  Nate had never looked so good.

  All the words she wanted to say fled her mind.

  He pushed to his feet and she hurried to his side, afraid he was too weak to stand on his own. He draped his arms around her and pulled her close.

  “When I was out in the storm there was one thing that kept me from falling asleep. Something I needed to tell you.”

  She clung to him, afraid he would say he wanted to move on. “I have things I need to say to you, as well.”

  “Let me go first. Louise, I love you and have since we met. I don’t want to end our marriage. I want it to be real. Now, I know I have nothing to offer you. But somehow we can make it work. I know we can. If you want to.” He held her so close, she couldn’t see his face, but she could feel the beat of his heart.