The Non-Silence of the Lamb

by Luke Brown

  Some of the members of the congregation at the back of the church whispered to each other.

  Dr. Leonard cleared his throat and projected his voice so he could be heard above them. “She bore four boys and four girls: Gena, Junior, Betty, Lela, Myrtle, Karl, Leonard (myself), and Bunny. She was blessed with more than twenty-six grandchildren, the youngest of which are Alexander M. Brown and Algivanni G. Brown. She had more than twenty-one great-grandchildren, all of whom she loved and cherished with all her heart. She always said that children are blessings sent from God.

  “She was also blessed with a whole host of nieces, nephews, cousins, friends, and extended family members.” Dr. Leonard paused for a quick second and adjusted his collar. He braced himself for his next statement. He was mad as hell and wanted everyone to know clearly who Essie was. He continued speaking with an undertone of rage. “Today, for what it’s worth, I bestow the honor of heroism on Mrs. Essie Brown. She fought a raging, long, and hard battle to give her family a better home and a better life and to make this earth a better place.

  “A hero is an unselfish person who greatly risks his or her life to save another. Well, my mother did just that. As a shy, vulnerable little country girl, she came to town to make a living for herself. Instead, she ended up dedicating her whole life to her family, giving up everything else just so that her family could see a brighter future.”

  Sitting with the other family members, Myrtle wiped tears from her eyes.

  “Success did not come easily, however. She struggled to play the role of both mother and father to her eight children.” Dr. Leonard gazed at his handwritten notes. “As if that weren’t enough, she benevolently took care of many other kids along the way. Often, she went into town to shop and saw a young lady in the streets with nowhere to go, and she did not hesitate to take that young lady home to join her already-too-large family. This kind act she performed numerous times in her life. Today, as I speak, one or two of these ladies might be among us in this church because of her kindness.”

  In the front row, Pauline-the-twin, once a young girl in need of help, sat with the family. Essie had found Pauline-the-twin and her sister sitting on a wall in downtown Montego Bay, had realized they needed help, and had taken them home. Pauline looked up at Dr. Leonard and nodded.

  “By this time, Essie had learned to put her troubles behind her with a little whisper of prayer.” Dr. Leonard softened his tone, though he was still eager to let the congregation know the caliber of human being that this world had lost. “She struggled in life, but she was, nonetheless, a true fighter when there was a battle to be won for her family. She gave her absolute all. The biggest turning point in my mother’s life came when she was fifty-four years old. This was the time when she found herself through religion. She also got married on April 11, 1976, to Mr. Timothy Brown.

  “Thanks to another junior hero, Essie’s oldest daughter, Gena Murray, Mrs. Essie Brown enjoyed the best of both worlds—the USA and Jamaica—in her golden years. She traveled extensively between New York, Florida, Washington, DC, and Jamaica.

  “At one o’clock on the morning of April 17, 2001, she left us for a better place, a place where there is no more pain, nor sorrow. She has gone to a place where she won’t have to fight as hard as she did in this life. She has left us the legacy of hope: if you fight very hard for what you want, you will by all means succeed.” Dr. Leonard closed dramatically as he suddenly raised his voice. “Honorable heroine Mrs. Essie S. Brown was in no way short of being a true hero in her family’s and friends’ eyes. Heroes live on forever, long after their bodies are gone. As we advance in this new era of life, we will always remember Mrs. Essie S. Brown and keep her living on forever in our hearts. We know that the Lord holds her blessed.”

  At this point, Dr. Leonard let it all out in tears as he made his way to the front row of the church and sat down next to Karl.

  Karl immediately sprang up out of his seat. He proudly and confidently walked up to his mother’s casket at the front and center of the church. He took a brief look inside and said with a disdainful grin on his face, “Good. I came all the way here just to make sure for myself that the woman is dead.”

  Karl’s grudge ran deep. He condemned his mother even though she was now lifeless. He would never forgive her until the day he died.

  Bunny had been able to put aside his differences and animosity toward his mother in order to effect one of the most beautiful funeral services the Glenworth SDA Church had ever seen. The show must go on. However, he was also deeply hurting inside. Like Karl, who walked up to his mother’s casket just to condemn her, Bunny too walked over to his mother’s casket at the gravesite. He stood still for a moment, reflecting on that day when his mother had taken sides with his sister against him. The rage boiled up in him again as if the incident had happened only yesterday. He leaned forward, looked at the orphan child’s casket, and said in a low whisper, “Mother, when I was twelve, you taught me how to forgive. It’s hard—hard as hell—but I forgive you.”

  Except for these two instances, everything went as planned, and everyone was pleased. For the most part, it was a wonderful funeral, one that Essie herself would have been pleased to attend. No expense was spared, but it was money well spent, resulting in a calm, decent, well-polished service with top-of-the-line performers, including a choir and soloist. Some would even say it was sophisticated. The procession from the church to the gravesite was neat and orderly. Everything went off without a hitch.

  Once the body was lowered into the ground and the workers at the cemetery started to cement and seal the grave, the minister proceeded with a short graveside ceremony, which he ended with a short prayer. It was now time to read the will and testament that Mrs. Essie Brown had quickly put in place after her first devastating stroke.

  It was no secret that Myrtle would be the one who would get the house in Glenworth, but no one was quite sure about who would receive the hefty savings account that Mrs. Essie Brown had left behind. Junior believed that his mother would be very considerate to him in her will and most of the money would be left for him.

  Mrs. Essie Brown had made it clear that she would like for the will to be read in public over her body in the casket so that everyone could hear the contents of her will. Although no one knew why she wanted it to be done this way, Karl assumed that his mother was using this method so that she could openly condemn him and embarrass him by leaving absolutely nothing in her will for him. Therefore, he was strongly against the idea that the will should be read out loud in public. He would rather it be read in private after the funeral was over.

  Myrtle and Junior, on the other hand, were more than happy to have the will read in public as their mother had so clearly stated. Myrtle knew that a good portion, if not all, of Essie’s possessions would be respectfully allotted to her and Junior.

  The minister stood in front of the more than one hundred people at the gravesite as they were about to break out into a series of songs. He beckoned them with his hands in the air to stop and give him their undivided attention. “Hello, ladies and gentlemen. I have with me a will. Today, I was instructed by the directives of the deceased to read this will that she wrote when she took sick and had her first stroke in a hospital in New York City.” He reached for an envelope in his left bosom jacket pocket, but he was stopped abruptly by a voice on his right side.

  “Pastor, please, sir, don’t read that will out here. Please wait until we get inside to a private room.” It was the coarse voice of Karl pleading with the minister.

  A wave of shocked silence swept through the crowd of people as they gazed in astonishment at the minister, who was seemingly at a loss for words.

  “Okay, we will have to read it at another time.” The dumbfounded minister put the envelope back into his jacket pocket.

  “Why do we have to read it at another time? Junior asked. “Pastor, please read the will as instructed by my mother.”

  “Okay.” The confused minister proceeded to re
trieve the envelope from his pocket again.

  “Pastor, mi say don’t read it out yah,” Karl insisted. “Pastor, I say don’t read it out here.”

  The pastor stood in front of the crowd as everyone looked on, baffled by what was happening. They were astounded by the level of irreverence at what had been a wonderful, respectable funeral up to that moment.

  “Okay, okay,” said the minister. “Ladies and gentlemen, obviously we have a serious problem. We will not read this will out here.” He returned the envelope to his jacket pocket.

  Myrtle moved forward to the front of the crowd. “You can’t do that, Pastor!” she shouted. “You can’t do that. My mother wanted the will to be read out loud right here in front of these people, and you have to honor her wishes.”

  “Yes, that’s true,” the minister said in a firm voice. “I have a job to do, and I must do it. Please, no more bickering. I will read this will right here as instructed.” Having arrived at his final decision, the minister reached for the envelope in his left jacket pocket and opened it. He swiftly took the certified letter of will out of the envelope and held it in front of him to read.

  “Gi mi that bom bo clart letta.” Karl quickly rushed forward and aggressively grabbed at it. He tried to snatch the letter out of the hands of the minister before he was able to read the first word from it.

  Junior, who was now close to the minister on the opposite side from Karl, quickly reached over the minister’s shoulder and latched onto the will before Karl could snatch it out of the minister’s hands.

  Karl then pushed aggressively at Junior’s hand, hoping to make him let go of the will. Instead, Junior gave Karl a hard, swinging left punch that connected with his right upper chest area. Karl swiftly and aggressively punched back at him.

  Leonard dashed through the stunned crowd to stop the embarrassing fight between his brothers. The minister was still holding onto the will. After all, he had been entrusted with it, so it was his responsibility to secure the contents and to properly register and store it in its rightful place.

  Kenneth, Betty’s boyfriend, who was way in the back of the crowd, also made his way forward. When Bunny saw Betty’s boyfriend rushing forward through the crowd, he pounced on him, pushing him down to the ground. Betty’s kids saw what happened and immediately rushed to counterattack.

  Complete pandemonium and chaos resulted. People ran frantically in all directions for cover and safety. Punches and kicks were flying all over the place, and before anybody knew it, a chaotic barroom-style fight had broken out all over the funeral grounds. Siblings and relatives with old feuds, grudges, and rivalries were releasing years of built-up fury over unsolved matters. It was a clash of emotions out of control. It was a battlefield of white and black three-piece suits, jackets and ties, stilettos, Gucci, Dolce & Gabbana handbags, dinner gowns, miniskirts, and three-piece formal dresses.

  It was embarrassing, a funeral gone wild. This was certainly not the legacy that Mrs. Essie Brown had intended to leave behind.

  Chapter 32

  Dr. Leonard gave a lengthy, eloquent eulogy in honor of his mother at her funeral in Jamaica. He cleansed his guilt as he bid Mrs. Essie Brown farewell and prayed that her soul would rest forever in peace. It was the final closure of the life of a naive, beautiful girl from the countryside of Cascade who chased her dreams relentlessly.

  But there’s more to Essie’s story.

  There is a story about a minister who was preaching one Sunday at a large church. This particular day, the church was full. It was said that the minister was a very good minister. When he preached, he moved people to action. Today’s topic was injustice. As the minister preached hard and strong about all of the injustices in this world, one particular member of the congregation was deeply touched. This member was heartbroken to see how much injustice there was on this earth.

  As the minister continued his sermon about injustice, this church member got angrier and angrier. For the first time since he had been attending this church, he was moved to do his part to stop all these injustices. He was so fired up that he felt he had to do something about this problem right now.

  He sprang up out of his seat and raced out of the church in a mad rage. He was on his way to fight injustice. As he reached the outside of the church, he stopped abruptly in his tracks. It dawned on him that he didn’t know where to start. Who was responsible for all these injustices? Whom should he attack? Where should he go? How should he fight injustice? Eventually, he turned around and calmly walked back into the church and took his seat. He sat down peacefully and enjoyed the rest of the minister’s sermon just like all of the other church members.

  Being an orphan child, Essie knew that life was devastatingly unjust to her. The only thing she was not sure about was if, as a single parent, it was unjustifiable to sacrifice one of her precious children for the sake of the others. Who, she wondered, had experienced the most injustice?

  Was it Karl, who had unfortunately sacrificed a healthy childhood life in the city for a hard, tiresome country life with his father, just so the rest of the family could move on? While his family in the city was comfortably getting ice-cold drinks from the refrigerator and drinking water from a convenient indoor pipe, he was getting his drinks from a little homemade icebox outside of the humble, rundown country house. He was also walking miles to get his drinking water supply because there were no indoor pipes in his home. While the rest of his family in the city was being comfortably driven to school, he had to walk miles upon miles every day just to get an elementary education.

  Was it Lela, who had been given up virtually at birth to her cousin Miriam? Did Lela sacrifice a life with her biological mother just so the rest of Essie’s family could move on?

  Who suffered the most injustice because of the poverty in Essie’s early family life? It is often said by the rich that poverty is the greatest sin on earth.

  “Hey, my brother!” said Myrtle, who was calling long-distance from New York. “How’re yuh doing today? How’re the kids?”

  “They’re doing fine,” said Dr. Leonard from his home in Florida. “Much better than I am. They have their bread buttered on both sides. My oldest son, Alexander, is growing tall. He’s not talking as clearly as he should, but we have him in speech therapy. We’re still looking for a good babysitter for Algivanni. How about you, Myrtle? How’re you doing? Are you behaving yourself?”

  “I’m doing fine,” Myrtle replied. “Yuh know that I stopped smoking and drinking and doing all that wild stuff. I started going back to church in a very serious way.”

  “Oh, yes! I forgot you told me about that the last time we spoke. You also told me that you were getting married and that you wanted me to play the role of your ‘give-away’ father, and I told you I would be honored to do so.”

  “Yes, will yuh do me that favor, my wonderful brother?”

  “Sure! You have to tell me the date of the wedding early enough so I can request some time off from my job. But you still didn’t tell me who the lucky young man is. Who is he? Are you ready to tell me now?”

  “No, not yet, my brother. I’ll tell yuh more about the whole thing soon, but I think the date might be around February thirteenth.”

  “Myrtle, did you tell your fiancé about your newly diagnosed condition?”

  “Yes, mon, I told him my whole story, and he’s fine with it,” she said confidently. ”I told him everything, and he loves me even more. My brother, yuh wouldn’t believe it. I found someone who accepts me just the way I am, with my big belly and all.” Myrtle giggled.

  “Oh, that’s so good. It’s very unusual when someone loves you unconditionally. You’re so lucky. Where did you meet him?”

  “I met him at the church that I attend. He’s a very nice person. Yuh’ll love him when yuh meet him.”

  “Oh, he’s a Christian? That’s so good to hear. He’s already a good match for you with him being a Christian and all.”

  “Yes, mon. Leonard, I’m telling yuh, he’s a v
ery nice guy.”

  “He has to be. I remember the last time we spoke, you told me about your secret that you’ve been holding back from me and almost everyone. I was shocked when I heard what your ex-boyfriend Roy did to you.”

  “Sorry. I should’ve told yuh earlier, my brother.”

  “What balls! Can you imagine? He knew that he had the human immunodeficiency virus even before he got divorced from his wife in Florida, but he didn’t tell you a word about it. If it wasn’t for his ex-wife in Florida, who called you and told you about him herself, you probably still wouldn’t know anything.”

  “Can yuh believe that, my brother? I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. I just didn’t know how to deal with it.”

  “Myrtle, if I sound like I’m angry, it’s because I’m so mad and fed up with what’s going on these days. Do you know the popular song by the famous rap singer Nas, called ‘If I Only Had One Mic’?”

  “Yes, I believe I’ve heard it before.”

  “Well, if I only had one mic that I could use to speak to the whole world, I would love to set the record straight about AIDS,” Dr. Leonard said with a tone of outrage and frustration. “There are many cases like yours happening every day. People need to hear stories like yours. Can you imagine someone who knew he was infected and yet slept with you repeatedly, over and over again, without condoms?”

  Fury hit Dr. Leonard, leaving him almost breathless. Just the thought of Roy passing on HIV to his sister made him angry all over again. He was as angry as the New Yorkers and the other American patriots all around the world as they acknowledged the atrocious act of terrorism upon the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. He was equally as angry to know that there were people out there terrorizing other people’s lives on a smaller scale by intentionally passing on HIV to them.