Down & Dirty

by Madison, Reese

  “No. You’re not real.” If he’s not real this will be easier.

  “Excuse me?” He grabbed my arms and turned me around to face him.

  “Nothing.” I couldn’t look at him because this was not the reunion I wanted, expected, and dreamt of. He was supposed to be happy to see me, not punishing me. I give up. I can’t do anything right.

  “Carly!!” He yelled but I couldn’t focus. There’s a nice dark tunnel over there. I think I can sleep there. Suddenly I’m exhausted.

  I went into that darkness and found the complete silence I was looking for. There’s no Joe. No Bret. No lies.

  The numbness was nice. For once I stopped caring. Nobody mattered. They were all just a bad dream. How can you care about somebody that’s not real?

  This is real. The numb, the quiet.

  Somebody was yelling my name in the distance, but I don’t care. Let them yell. They’ll get tired and give up eventually. If I focus I can visualize sunflowers in front of me. I can pick them. Lots of them. I like it here.

  Except for that annoying echo of my name. Maybe if I just think of it like a wind chime I’ll get used to it.

  No, it’s too loud. Why does my chest hurt?

  “CARLY!!” Joe.

  Wow that hurt. I felt my eyes struggle to stay closed.

  “Shit. What have I done? Wake up Carly!!” It’s his voice, but it’s not him.

  I’m so tired. So tired. I visualized myself in Joe’s armpit where I like to sleep and let the darkness take me.

  “Wake up baby. Come back to me. I’m not mad at you, just come back.” I heard Joe begging.

  I felt my body contract and curl into a ball.

  “I’m here now, come on, open your eyes for me.”

  I screamed no, but I didn’t hear it.

  “Carly. Stop it. You’re scaring me. Open your eyes.”

  Shit. I wanted to die, not scare people. Fuck. I struggled for a minute and focused on Joe’s face. “You suck.”

  He let out a breath. “There she is. It’s okay baby, you can come back.”

  “You hate me.” I closed my eyes trying to run back to the darkness.

  I felt his grip on my jaw, “No you don’t. Look at me.”

  I feel so tired. I turned towards him and tried to look. He seems off. Sad almost. “I’m so tired.”

  “Hey, look at me.” He begged.

  I closed my eyes clean out of energy. “Dream.” I told myself.

  When I dream, Joe’s not mad at me. He holds me and tickles me. He scolds me and confesses his love. I like it there.

  Suddenly I felt a rush of cold and snapped back. “What the fuck?!” I tried to push the cold away. When it burned I opened my eyes to find the assailant. “Stop torturing me!!!”

  He wrapped a towel around me and said, “That’s my girl. Come on. Come back to me.”

  “You hate me.”

  “I talked to Bret, I don’t hate you.”

  “Bret. That lying fucker.”

  I felt his warm arms wrap around me. “I’m sorry.”

  “You should be.” I pushed him away. “Where are we?”

  “A hotel. I couldn’t stomach that house once he told me he’d been staying there with you for the last month.” He explained turning my chin back to face him. “Hey, look at me.”

  I pushed him away again refusing to look at him. “No.” I got up and went to the bathroom slamming the door behind me. I need a minute. The mirror is not my friend right now. I turned on the shower and hid under hot water for a long time.

  How dare Joe came back like he did. I all but mourned him for six months and he rejects me? Accuses me of cheating on him? I’m so mad I want to spit nails. I wanted so bad for him to hold me.

  I sat in the tub with the water running over me and cried. My chest hurt so bad I had to force myself to stop so I could breathe.

  The door opened but I didn’t bother looking up since I knew who it was. He shut the water off and wrapped a towel around me before picking me up and carrying me to the bed.

  “That’s enough baby.” He said soothingly.

  “You rejected me. I missed you so much and you pushed me away.” I pulled the towel tight around me.

  “I know. Not my finer moment. I’m sorry.”

  “I thought you were never coming back. I was so happy to see you, now I can’t look at you.” I complained looking at the bedspread.

  He lifted my chin, “What can I do to make it up to you?”

  I turned away, picked up a pillow and smacked him hard in the head with it. He took the hit patiently, so, I hit him again. And again. I kept hitting him as he let me sit on him and hit him some more. I wasn’t hurting him, but it felt good to beat him, even if it was with a pillow.

  I finally tossed the pillow aside as I sat on his chest to finally look at him. “You are such a jerk.”

  “I know. Feel better?”

  “I’m working on it.” I found my towel and covered back up.

  “Why are you covering yourself. You know as soon as I can I’m going to attack you.”

  “Oh no you’re not. I might have missed you, but the way you came back was not acceptable. I’m still pretty pissed at you.” I looked around and found a bag with his clothes in it. I guess he didn’t bother packing any of my shit so I stole a pair of his boxers and a t-shirt.

  “Fair enough. Prospects are coming to pack your shit and move it to our house.”

  “I’m going to need clothes if we’re riding.”

  “We’re not. They’ll bring my bike. The Mercedes is outside. I couldn’t ride with you passed out. What happened? Why did you conk out like that?” He asked still laying on his back.

  “I don’t know. I was so mad and so hurt by both you and Bret, I just remember wanting to bury my head in the sand and hide.”

  “I should tell you Bret followed you to Vegas. He stalked you and waited for an opportunity to get close to you. He’s a sick fucker who’s had it in for me since we were kids.”

  “I don’t ever want to hear that name again.” I complained opening the minibar to find little bottles of wine. “Eureka.” I opened one and sipped right from the bottle before sitting next to Joe on the bed. “I’m glad you’re back, but I’m still really really mad at you.”

  “I know. Be mad all you want, I can take it. Want to beat me with a pillow again?” He rested his hand on my thigh.

  “No. I want to beat you with a stick. What took you so long?”

  “I can’t tell you. Hand me the TV remote.” There’s that demanding tone I’ve missed so much.

  I found it and gave it to him. He turned on the news and waited.

  I saw the Breaking News of the day. A terrorist that has plagued this country for almost ten years was finally dead.

  Joe turned the TV off at the end of the report.

  I looked at him. “That was you?”

  “Are you going to kiss me or do I have to steal one?”

  I sighed taking another sip from the bottle and setting it down. “You have to promise never to leave me again.”

  He grabbed a handful of his shirt I have on and pulled me down. “I promise. I’m done with the government work for good.”

  I looked in his eyes, “You ever disappear like that again I’m going to hide where you can’t find me.”

  “That’s not possible my love. I will always find you. Now stop threatening me and kiss me.”

  I gave in and kissed him with a thirst of my own this time. It didn’t take long before clothes hit the floor and we crashed into each other. I clung to him fiercely as he reminded me what it was to be with him. To love him inside, and out.

  It took me a long time before I was willing to stop punishing him in that bed. Somehow I don’t think he minded.

  He found yet another much needed release with a deep thrust as he looked down into my eyes. “I love you Carly.”

  “I love you.” I grabbed his ears and kissed him.

  He rested his forehead on mine. “Get s
ome sleep. We’re going home in a few hours.”

  “Salina’s going to be so pissed at me.”

  “It’s not Salina you need to worry about.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Leaving the club the way you did is not allowed. Slider is the one I’m going to have to protect you from. The only thing that might save you is the fact that you were so new to the club, and the emotional distress at my leaving. He’s still going to want to punish you.” He explained rolling off and tucking me into that nook of his arm I missed so much.

  “Something to look forward to.”

  “I’ll talk to him and see if I can take whatever punishment he has in mind for you.”

  “No. I’m a big girl. I can handle it.”

  “We’ll see. I won’t let him do anything too bad. I’m sure it’s more to humiliate you like you did him by leaving.”

  “Why would he care?”

  “As my old lady you’re under his protection. By leaving in the middle of the night you basically said fuck you to your family. You should have told him. Not to mention when I got home and found you gone I punched him for not keeping you there. You’re not the only one who’s in trouble.” He hugged me.

  “You really punched Slider?”

  “Cracked his cheekbone. Salina jumped on my back and beat the hell out of me.”

  I laughed and sat up a little to look at him. “She did?”

  He looked back and ran his finger along my jaw. “Yeah. She cussed me for punching her old man then chewed me out for making you run away.”

  “I take it you tracked the Mercedes through the GPS?”

  “Yes. I let all kinds of bad things brew in my head as to why you would be in some fancy beach house. I kept coming back to you with another man. It fueled my temper. I shouldn’t have come back to you like that.”

  “No, you shouldn’t have.” I sunk my fingers in his beard. “But I’m really glad you’re back. The last six months have been a living hell.”

  “What were you doing in Vegas?”

  “Trying to drown my thoughts of you. Everywhere I looked around the club I kept seeing you, then it wasn’t you. I had to get away to some place noisy. It didn’t work. I learned to deal and play Poker, which helped a little because I had to focus too hard to think about you for a couple hours. Turns out I’m pretty good.”

  “So it would seem. I noticed you haven’t been spending my money in months.” He twisted some of my hair in his fingers.

  “Didn’t need to. I’ve got over three hundred grand in the bank.”

  His eyebrows went up, “You made three hundred grand in six months?”

  “No, I made two hundred grand in about two weeks. I didn’t play the bigger tables until the end. Before that I was just paying bills.”

  “I don’t believe you.” He did, but didn’t.

  “Fine. Take me to Vegas, marry me, and I’ll prove it.” I offered.

  “You still want to marry me?” I love it when he’s confused.

  “I do. You still want to marry me?”

  “Of course I do. I thought you’d be too pissed to marry me right now.”

  “I was. I’m getting past it now. Besides, this way if you leave me again I can legally spend all your money to punish you.” I teased.

  “Go for it, there’s always more where that came from.”

  I sat up Indian-style to face him. “How do you have so much money anyway?”

  “Old family money I invested years ago. Whatever is earned just turns around and goes back into the investment. I pull out what I need as I need it. I all but owned AOL when they got started, now it’s Google, Yahoo, and bunch of other shit I had a gut feeling about. Being across seas can be pretty boring when you don’t have a gig. I read a lot, invested here and there. Got good at it.” He shrugged.

  “Are you going to wear a suit when we get married?” I changed the subject back to what I was more interested in.

  “No. The best you’ll get out of me is my Marine blues or Navy whites. You decide. It’s either that or jeans and my cut. I don’t do monkey suits.”

  I laughed, “Fair enough. Wear the whites, it’ll look nice against that dark hair of yours, which needs a serious trim. What were you trying to do? Fit in over there?”

  “No. I don’t trust anyone but you with scissors near my head. Although after that pillow beating I got earlier I’m not sure I trust you anymore either.”

  “Ha ha.” I settled back down forgetting my appetite and fell asleep dreaming about marrying him in Vegas.

  12

  The next morning he ordered every breakfast item on the menu and made me eat until I wanted to pop.

  “I can’t eat another bite.” I complained as he climbed over me with a piece of bacon trying to get it in my mouth.

  “You’re too skinny. Eat.”

  I laughed and pushed the bacon away. “Give me a few minutes please.”

  He ate it for me as he settled between my legs. “I guess I’ll have to work up that appetite again.”

  I welcomed him for the second time this morning. “You’re a nut.”

  “And you’re beautiful, even if you’re too skinny. Didn’t you eat while I was gone?”

  “Not much. From the minute you got on that helicopter until last night I felt sick to my stomach.”

  “I missed you too.” He sympathized.

  “Why didn’t you call?” I like talking to him as he caresses me with his slow movements.

  “I couldn’t, it’s forbidden to make contact with anyone at home when you’re on a job like that.”

  “I’m never letting you out of my sight again.” I promised him.

  “I still have to go out on club jobs when we get back Carly.” He scolded me.

  “Nope. Not going to happen. I’m chaining you to the garage. I’m pretty sure even your big ass can’t carry around a twenty-five hundred square foot garage.” I teased smacking his butt.

  “Maybe not, but I’m sure I can get out of the chains.”

  “I’ll get big thick ones.”

  “Oddly enough they’re easier to get off.”

  “Can you just let me have one little fantasy for once?” I whined.

  “I’ve got your fantasy woman.” He lowered and kissed me long and hard, just like he proceeded to take me.

  He made me eat again before we headed to Vegas. I drove because his driving is insane.

  He tried distracting me with his wandering hands but I told him to quit.

  “I’ve been away from that body for six months Carly. I can’t help myself.” He complained.

  “Unless you want me to get a ticket for reckless driving you’re going to have to find a way to behave.”

  “I hate being a passenger.”

  “Stop pouting. I don’t know how I missed you so much, you’re a huge pain in the ass.” I teased picking up his hand and kissing it.

  “You’re not much easier. I go away and come back to find you with my half brother.”

  “Not with, and it’s not like I knew. It does connect some dots though. He would say certain things that reminded me of you. I thought it was just me, now I know it wasn’t. It’s a disturbing thought.”

  “Like what?”

  “Just the tone of voice, demanding like you are.”

  “He’s done some fucked up shit over the years, but this time he crossed the line. If I find him I’m going to kill him.”

  “Don’t bother. If you get caught and go to jail I’m going to beat you with more than a damn pillow.”

  “He never touched you?”

  “No baby, I wouldn’t have allowed it, and he knew it.”

  “Good.” He pulled my phone from my purse. “I do have a question though.”

  “What are you doing?”

  He dialed Bret.

  “Miss me already?” Bret answered.

  “No, you shit. What did you expect to accomplish by tricking my wife into being with you?”

  “Ah, the inevitable ques
tion. Someday she’s going to figure out that having a real man in her life is much more appealing. When I take her from you, my job will be done and you can live in peace brother.”

  Joe hung up.

  I wiped a tear away. “I can’t believe I lived with that asshole.”

  “We went together to ask for our father to let us prospect. I was permitted, he was sent away. Since then he’s been a thorn in my side.”

  “That makes sense. Can we talk about something else?”

  “Still want kids?” He didn’t miss a beat.

  I laughed. “Nice. Yes, but not for a year.”

  “Why a year?”

  “I want time alone with you.”

  “Fair enough.”

  We talked about how we’d like to raise our kids, how many we wanted, and all kinds of other stuff we never had a chance to cover until Vegas came into view.

  “Which hotel?” I asked him.

  “Doesn’t matter, pick one.”

  “Since we’re getting married I’m going to pick an expensive one.”

  “Go for it.”

  I pulled into the Bellagio and gave the keys to the valet. Joe took care of ordering us a suite while I found a couple drinks for us. We barely made it into our room before he started removing clothes and took me eagerly against the wall.

  We took a little nap before ordering room service. He fed me until I was stuffed again.

  When the second wind kicked in just after dark he sat up, “Let’s go downstairs. I want to see you play.”

  “I don’t have any clothes.”

  “Then we’ll shop first.” He decided.

  “I should warn you, I’m hell to shop with.” I teased finding his boxers and a fresh shirt. “I still can’t believe you didn’t bring me any clothes.”

  “I was in a hurry. Don’t nag.”

  “Nag nag nag.” I smacked his butt running to the bathroom.

  When we were done I dragged poor Joe to Caesars Palace and hid a lot of smiles at his annoyed expressions. I’d hold something up and he’d look at me like I was nuts for even asking.

  Shoes were a little easier. My poor man is loaded down with bags and looking more bored by the minute. I finally had enough so we went back to the room where I could change. Of course I had to take a break when he decided we needed to christen the shower.

  I put on tight new jeans, and low cut white top with a hint of my new pink lace bra showing through and some kick-ass big black heels. I feel human again.