Last to Love

by Alexa Whitewolf

  I look up at him then. “You really can’t see it from where I’m standing?”

  Lucas shakes his head, and lifts a hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I am tired, Monica. So fucking tired of all these games. Is anything real anymore?”

  I scoff. “You ask me that? You, who runs away from everything?”

  His eyes blaze. “Careful, tesoro. You don’t want to cross me when I’m barely holding on.” His threat is pretty much negated by his earlier words and the promise he’d never hurt me.

  As if realizing as much, he sighs and tries another tactic. “How did my father get into this? How did he even know...?”

  I shrug. “Best I can guess, is greed. He doesn’t want to die and face what’s waiting for him.”

  “I always used to think he wanted a quick out, something over his enemies. A chimera would be useful in keeping their souls and getting rid of the bodies easily. But you’re saying my father was doing all this because of his stupid fear of death?”

  “Sì, he was.” I chew on my bottom lip for a moment, two, then add, “That’s also why he wants you, I’m pretty sure. He knows you’ve killed, he knows your link to death is strong being only half-blooded. You wouldn’t be able to morph into the full monster, at least not according to the legends, but Alessandro wants whatever you can give him.”

  Lucas shakes his head, then runs a hand over his features. “Madre di Dio! He has lost his damned mind.”

  I nod, taking an interest in the floor again.

  “Thank you,” Lucas adds. ‘You didn’t have to tell Dominic all this and make my life worse, but I can understand why you believed what you did. However, I am not my father.”

  “I know.” And then the tears come again.

  Lucas inches closer, wiping them away with one callused thumb. “Shh, don’t cry, tesoro. I’m not mad anymore.”

  “But you will be when I tell you this...” I take a deep breath, look him in the eyes, and say, “Your father knows about your pack, and their gifts, from me. I didn’t realize... It doesn’t matter. There is no excuse. Bottom line is, you’re all in danger because of me.”

  His hand freezes midair, then drops. “How long do I have?”

  “I... I’m not sure.”

  Rage flashes in those onyx eyes again, followed by betrayal and cold indifference. “I see,” he says. After one last look at me, he takes off.

  Lucas

  For the first time, real fear freezes my heart. I never intended for my wolves to suffer, for their mates to suffer. But if what Monica told me is true, if my powers extend that much, this is going to be hell. And my father will not let go, not until he has his collection.

  I have to stop him.

  I can’t get to the shop fast enough, and at first I’m completely in my own mind, missing the obvious. Then I notice Dominic’s truck out front, and the fear in me morphs to something else. Something darker.

  Especially when I realize he’s not alone, but he’s there with Finn and Tristan, and the girls. Even when I made it clear he’s banned, and meant to be exiled, he still goes behind my back.

  Whatever the fuck they think they’re doing, it’s not going to work. Not with this wolf. I burst into the shop, letting the door slam hard enough behind me that the windows rattle.

  Lucrezia looks up from the receptionist spot and her eyes widen. “Lucas! You’re not supposed to—”

  A growl tears from my throat as I jab a finger her way. “Not another fucking word, cara. Where are they?”

  She bites her lip, then her eyes slide to the corridor leading to my office. Another blaze of red descends on me as I push past her. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay back. Your sweet talking won’t save him now.”

  I’m already halfway to my office by then, but her boots behind me warn she followed. No matter. Voices escape the small room, Tristan first.

  “Maybe it’s some kind of post-traumatic stress disorder. When I get in my moods, nothing can get through to me.”

  “It’s not PTSD,” Dominic contradicts, and my anger spikes up a notch.

  Nostrils flaring, I burst in. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, amico?”

  Unlike what I pictured, he’s not sitting in my chair or near my desk. Not trying to take over my pack and oust me. On the contrary, he’s the closest to the door. It should make me think twice, but it doesn’t.

  “Did I not kick you out of this pack?”

  Dominic only stares me down. “You did. And yet I’m still here, because they called me.”

  I glance at Tristan and Finn for confirmation, and their shrugs tell me everything I need to know. One step, two, then I’m shoving him.

  Dominic stumbles, but catches himself and glares at me. “What’s your problem?”

  “My problem is that you’re meddling – again. And I warned you last time what would happen.”

  Finn moves from the back, hands held up. “It’s not what you think, mate. We’re worried about you. This isn’t some kind of feckin’ conspiracy!”

  “Claro,” I mutter. “Because it’s all so simple.”

  “It is,” Tristan says softly. “I know better than most what hallucinations are like, chefe. But we swore allegiance to you. What reason do we have to break it?”

  “There is always a reason,” I growl. I’ve known these men for ages, but it’s like I can’t see straight anymore. My wolf, so connected to them before, is drowned under this rage that’s boiling inside me.

  Nostrils flaring, it’s all I can do to hold it in.

  “It’s happening again,” Dominic says as if I’m not there. “The eyes.”

  “Maybe it’s some kind of berserker rage?” Finn asks.

  “Basta! Stop talking as if I’m not here!” I punctuate my shouts with another shove, which this time slams Dominic into the wall. He seems shocked at my strength – and for good reason. Normally his vârcolac is stronger, even as a human.

  “Lucas–” Lucrezia starts behind me. It’s a soft whisper, but my ears perk nonetheless.

  I don’t know why her voice always makes me listen. Maybe because she’s the first female I cared for after Mamma. Regardless, this time it’s barely enough to pull me from the brink.

  “Tristan is right. Please.”

  My gaze locks with each of my wolves. Blue, brown and green, they stare at me without blinking, not hiding anything. Are they really that concerned? Is that all that’s going on here?

  Finn moves closer and touches my shoulder. Just like that, my anger abates, enough that I can breathe deeply. “Now will you listen?” he asks.

  “You shouldn’t be using your powers on me,” I say, but follow it with a nod, and a deep breath. Then I run a hand over my face and stumble to my desk, dropping heavily into my chair.

  “Can we please talk like adults?” Lucrezia asks, glaring at everyone in turn. “I’ve known you guys for long enough to realize this isn’t normal. And I don’t care how much the dynamic here has changed, or the fact you kicked Dominic out of the pack again.” She takes a step forward. “We’re still family.”

  I can’t look at them, not now that my rage is gone. Everything feels so far, so...bizarro. Why have I been acting like this? Did Monica get into my head this much? Is it Ileana’s games?

  Someone clears their throat, and I look up. It’s then I realize we’re missing a few members. “Where are your mates?” I ask Finn and Tristan.

  “Out,” Tristan says.

  Finn’s answer is different. “They’re together,” he says slowly, weighing his answer as if catching the undertone of my quesiton. “What is it you’re afraid of?”

  I roll my eyes at that. “I’d really love it if you learned to keep your sniffing to yourself, Irish.” His shrug doesn’t help, but I add, “Just call them. Tell them to get here instead.”

  As Tristan makes the call, Dominic paces the room from wall to wall. He knows something’s up. Despite being kicked out – twice – and being a pain in my ass, something tells me h
e knows more than he’s letting on.

  “Can we start with some basics, at least? It feels like it’s been go, go, go since Monica came into town. What should we even call you?” Lucrezia asks. “Monica said your real name is Luciano Conti.”

  “My old name.” I nod. “Lucas is what I go by now.”

  “Why?” I really do miss the days she was shy around me.

  “My old life... it’s complicated.”

  “So why don’t you tell us?” Dani walks in then, Elle on her heels.

  I turn to Finn and he shrugs. “They were getting bored and wanted some action. Dani’s teaching Elle what she can about zmeu magic.”

  Another thing that escaped me. I really should be paying more attention. Finally, I sigh and for the first time in my life, don’t hold back and tell them everything. “I was born into a hybrid family, one could say. My father is a lupo mannaro, and my mother was the last of her kind – a chimera.”

  “Like in Greek mythology?” Elisandra asks.

  “Yeah, what gives?” Tristan adds. “I thought you were Italian.”

  A deeper sigh escapes me. “I guess I’ll have to go back even deeper, then. My mother’s family comes from an Italian region known as Tuscany. That’s where, ages ago, the Etruscans lived. You wouldn’t know much about them unless you’re a scholar, but they were a people who didn’t leave behind a lot. A lot of their culture was later assimilated into Rome and Greece itself.”

  Noticing I have a rapt attention before me, I lean my head back against my chair and lose myself in the story. “Some people say the first account of a chimera was among the Etruscans. Maybe, maybe not. Either way, their culture worshipped many gods, and my mother, Francesca, grew up with those teachings. She then passed them to me. It was always about what the gods want, what’s expected, how life was out of our control. Needless to say, I didn’t particularly buy into the whole thing.”

  Memories of those lessons with her run through my mind. She loved to make me draw, because I was horrible at it. Alessandro hated hearing our laughter in the nursery, it always sent him in a rage.

  “History lesson aside, I took after my father. Or so I thought, at first, until I learned differently. I also had a younger brother, Matteo, who didn’t buy into the whole Etruscan way of life, either.” My throat clogs at the memory of him, but I force myself to continue. “Probably because of our wolf’s innate capacity for fights, for control. See, a lupo mannaro is prone to violence. Battles, turf wars, they egg our wolf on and we live off that. It makes us perfect for less savory occupations like drugs, cartels...the Mafia.”

  “Your family,” Dominic says, finally moving closer. “They’re Mafia?”

  “Sì,” I nod. “My father, anyway. My mother hated the life, and my brother...he’s no more.”

  Everyone falls silent, until Finn breaks it. “I’m struggling to understand, mate. You say turf wars get your blood boiling, yet you’ve always avoided them with the Reapers.”

  “I did. Because I found out about my mother’s lineage, and the price associated with it. I said before how I thought I took after my father... And for a few years, I did. My wolf relished the violence, to some extent. But then, I started having nightmares. With each death I helped him, I dreamt of the Underworld. Of being chained there. And one day, I accidentally stumbled onto my mother confessing to a local priest.”

  The memory of that day hits me with a bittersweet pang. Everything changed, after that. “She was worried about me, about what I was doing, the road I was heading on. That’s when I learned the full extent of it... That’s when nightmares became reality for me – the day everything fully sank in.”

  “But you had already killed,” Lucrezia says softly.

  “Sì.” A scornful laugh escapes me. “And the funny part? My father knew all about it. See, there is not really such a thing as a half-chimera in a male heir. The male pretty much inherits the whole trait, but doesn’t grow into it until his twenty-fifth birthday. He can’t morph fully, as I learned recently from Monica, but he does develop other abilities.”

  “Like collecting special shifters?” Tristan asks.

  “Not on purpose,” I mutter. “I had no idea it was happening when you all showed up here, one by one. All I knew was the need to dominate, then I had a pack. Something to call my own, and that really felt like family.”

  They stare at me, and no one says anything. Then Lucrezia asks, “What happens if the chimera doesn’t, umm, grow into it? Say, he was suppressing it.”

  I throw her a look. “Molto perceptiva, cara. Yes, I have been suppressing everything because I don’t want to be some legendary monster.” Glancing at my fists, I clench and unclench them a few times. “I only want my wolf, nothing else. But if the male represses his chimera side, yet still allows himself to be exposed to a lot of violence, and death... With each soul taken, the chimera’s link to the Underworld grows stronger. Then it gets greedy, overpowers the wolf, and demands to take over.”

  It’s harder than I thought, this sharing thing, but I owe it to them. After all this time, I owe the full truth. The only thing is, how much longer do I have left to put everything right?

  “Eventually, the theory goes that with enough killing, the male loses himself to the chimera and becomes a slave to the Underworld. Opens the door to it, is able to get souls in and out, the like.”

  “For the sake of clarifying... We’re talking Hades’ Underworld, here?” Lucrezia asks.

  “The one and only.” When that sinks in, I add, “I tried to fight it. To hold off. My father kept pushing me into a life I didn’t want, and started dragging Matteo into it. One night...everything went desperately wrong. I was too late, Matteo died in my arms, and I felt for the first time the chimera’s pull. That same night, my mother committed suicide and I buried her...before leaving forever. I thought I was done with all that...until my father sent Monica after me.”

  When I’m done, the tension is tangible. A humorless chuckle escapes me. “Now do you see why I said it’s complicated?”

  Lucrezia mutters something about stubborn wolves her breath, then comes to my side and hugs me. It takes me by surprise, and I return it while checking on Dominic over her shoulder. I half expect him to snap again, but he makes no move to stop her. Instead, he catches my eye and I read the sympathy he’s wordlessly communicating.

  “And what is Monica to your father?” he asks. “How does she know so much, and what the hell is it with the collecting part?”

  “She’s his fixer,” I say. “I thought I could turn her to our side, but as I found out today, I’ve only delayed the inevitable. Mi dispiace, but I owe a big apology to all of you. For being a fool and putting you all in danger. But now my father knows you are my pack, and he will not stop until he finds and captures us all.”

  A noise at the front startles us. Slipping from Lucrezia’s arms, I give chase only to see a fleeting glimpse of dark hair exit the door. Without pausing, I burst into the garage and exit through the half-open door, catching Monica at the next corner.

  “What were you doing here?”

  Her features are expressionless, but for a brief moment I notice a flash of fear. My grip on her tightens. Finally, she gulps and says, “Looking for you. I didn’t like the way we left things, and I really want to fix–”

  “Yeah? Sure you weren’t spying for my father?” Her eyes widen, panic now clearly evident.

  “I... You...?”

  I scoff, trying to push aside my own feelings. There is no room for emotions in this mess. “You’re wasting your time if you think your good girl act is going to fool me. The only reason I fucked you was to get in on what you’re telling dear old papà. Now that I know, I have no further use of you.”

  Sharp pain flashes across her features, followed by a hurt too real to fake. A pang of something – guilt – crosses through me, but I shove it down.

  Instead, I let go of her and place my hands on either side of her head. She looks away, but my face inches closer.
“You can’t really believe any of that was real. But, you can go back to Alessandro and tell him all about it.”

  She scowls then and her eyes shift behind me. “Tell him yourself.”

  ∞ ∞ ∞

  ∞ Sopravvivere ∞

  “To survive it is often necessary to fight and to fight you have to dirty yourself.”

  -George Orwell-

  Lucas

  I turn away from Monica and the temptation to strangle her. A black SUV with tinted windows is pulling up near my shop, followed by another one. Understanding rushes through me when I catch sight of the eight bulky men who exit. Hair cropped, black outfits, massive guns strapped to their backs, they scream military but I know they’re also something else – wolves.

  “Merda, he wasn’t kidding!” Monica mutters under her breath.

  I catch her wrist in mine without taking my eyes off the men. There’s no point asking who the he is. “Kidding about what, cara?”

  “Sending a squad for you, and your pack.”

  That does it. As quietly as I can, I push us fully around the corner and flatten her against the cold brick. My hold on her wrist tightens in tune with my fury. “Thanks to the information you gave him.”

  Monica stares back at me, a fire in her eyes. “Sì, I guess so. But at least I never pretended to be someone I’m not.”

  “Didn’t you? What about all this bullshit of a relationship, and caring about me? What about getting involved with my pack, when all he really sent you here for is to attract my eye?”

  She inhales sharply, but the movement only makes her breasts push up against my chest. Distraction is the mother of all stupidities, and because I’m a fool, I only lean closer until our lips almost brush.

  “You could have walked away. Left me to deal with all this shit. So why the fuck are you still here, Monica?”

  Her lips part, blue eyes wide and vulnerable. The noise of feet on the ground – more wolves – should worry me. Should draw my wolf out. Yet he’s too entranced by the woman in my arms, almost stupidly so. Whatever spell she cast on me, it must’ve been a fucking good one if I can’t think straight.