Bound

by Piper Malone

  “I know, Blake. But I have to.” I give him a quick kiss, anything more and I’m sure I’d fall into the shower with him. I finally know my path, and I’m ready to run down it. “I’ll see you soon, I promise.”

  As I exit Blake’s bathroom I think I hear him mutter, “I’ll hold you to it.”

  *

  Fifteen minutes later, I whip my car into the parking lot of Walter’s Diner, right next to his big black truck. Ax would be prime bait for a stalker. The man is so predictable.

  In his typical booth, I see him talking to a waitress who is clearly not Reese. She’s about fifty with gray, salon-styled hair.

  “Hi, sweetheart,” she says to me with a rough, cigarette-tainted voice. “What can I get you?”

  “Where’s Reese?” I ask, more to Ax than the waitress.

  “In a minute,” he says. If Ax could shoot laser beams from his eyes, I’d be toast. “I’ll have the brisket sandwich, fries, and a side of slaw.”

  “Mmm.” I feel a rumble in my stomach. “Sounds yummy.” I glance at the tent card listing the evening specials. “I’ll have the cheesesteak with sauce and a side of onion rings.”

  “Of course,” she replies, scratching out the order.

  “Great, thanks.” I smile at her as she turns and moves toward the kitchen with the stiff gate of a career waitress. When I glance back at Ax, he looks at me like I’ve just escaped the ward.

  “Are you sure you’re not pregnant?” he asks, looking like he doesn’t want to know the answer.

  “No,” I snort. “Are you?”

  “Not yet, thank fuck.”

  “Okay, where’s Reese?” When he looks around the diner, it hits me. “Son of a bitch, Ax! Did you do something to her? Did you break her little heart?” I lean in, trying to keep my voice to a dull roar. “You shouldn’t fuck where you eat, Ax. Now we have to deal with Madge, waitress extraordinaire.”

  He looks at me with wild eyes. “What do you care where she is, Kat? She’s a waitress.” Ax’s attempt to be blasé sucks.

  “She was your waitress, you lug. Where is she?”

  He looks a little sullen. “She went back to Indiana. She’s going to live with her family and go to pastry school.”

  “How did she do that? I thought the tuition was outrageous.”

  “She was granted a scholarship,” he mutters into his coffee cup.

  No freakin’ way. “Hmm, that’s interesting. I think she would have mentioned if she was applying for scholarships.” He won’t look at me. Ax is caught in the snare. “Is it the Ryan Paxton Endowment for the Cute that will be financing her education?”

  He clears his throat, shifting his big body in the booth. “Everyone deserves an opportunity at their dream, Kat. She just needed a little help.”

  I officially love this hunk of beastly man sitting across from me. “And what about your dream, Ax. Did you really let her walk away?”

  Ax’s eyes show his age, weary and maybe a little lonely. “I’m a firm believer in letting things go and seeing if they come back.” He looks around the diner. “Reese deserves the chance to meet someone who is perfect for her.” Ax takes a long swig of his coffee. “For as enticing as she is, I’m not that man.”

  I can see his point. It’s not fairy tales and unicorns, but it’s the truth. Sometimes the initial attraction to someone doesn’t keep a relationship afloat; you need to be able to make a life with your partner.

  “Well, I’m going to miss her. I liked making her uncomfortable with a good double entendre.” Ax looks resigned to the situation, not that I would count on seeing emotion from him. “Did you get to say good-bye to her?”

  “Yes,” he says, flatly, the muscle in his jaw flexing slightly.

  “Did you say good-bye,” I pause, solely for dramatic effect, “with your penis?”

  His jaw rolls, eyes lighting up before we both stifle a laugh. He sobers with a sigh. “She knows I will always think of her fondly. I can only hope she feels the same way about me.”

  “I’m sure she does, Ax.” He might not admit it, but he’s a good guy. “She’s out there, you know. You’ll find her.”

  Ax waves away the warm fuzzies before changing the subject. “What’s up? Why are you here?”

  “Did you know that Caleb yelled at me?”

  “Oh yeah?” His brows brush his hairline. “What did you do to shake the rock? He rarely loses it.”

  “This whole mess with Blake. I went over there and he called me out.”

  Ax tips his head, imploring me to explain as our food arrives. Over multiple plates of food, I give him the condensed version of my fight with Caleb and my brief meeting with Blake before coming here. “He told me he loves me.”

  “Have you been living under a fucking rock?” Ax scoffs.

  “I need you to help me.” I say.

  “I don’t think there is help for you, Kat.” He waves his fork like a wand. “You can’t correct personality flaws as severe as yours. You need to curb your own foul language. I wouldn’t know where to start with that issue.”

  I roll my eyes. “Can we be serious for two minutes? Then we can be stupid all you want.”

  “Okay,” he straightens in his seat, “tell me what kind of help you need.”

  I don’t know how to say it, but I feel it. “I want to give myself to him. To show him that I’m willing to try submission in small bites. I want to start to let him guide me, but I’m also very afraid I would fight him if I got scared.”

  “Have you fought him in the past?”

  “The only time things went badly was the last time we were together.” I can’t have that moment be the last time we were intimate. The memory would ruin me forever.

  “What do you think you want to do?”

  “I don’t know, Ax. That’s why I need you. I want to show him I’m willing to try.”

  “So just tell him that.”

  “No, it’s not enough. I want him to understand I’m serious. But I’m scared.”

  “What’s the fear? Where does it come from?” Ax has settled back into his role of guide, the relaxed, open sage imploring me to follow him.

  “What does it mean to be at the club?”

  “It means you are in a building, Kat. What happens inside Reign is up to you. Some people do nothing but hang out. Other people go to play. You are expected to follow the house rules and the basic tenants of safe, sane, consensual. The activities between you and Blake are mutually agreed upon.”

  “I’m scared to go there.”

  “Do you know why?”

  “What if someone touches me?” It might be irrational, but it’s a worry I have. I’ve seen some of the outfits women wear. What if someone decided to get handsy?

  “Then that person would regret their choice instantly. Blake, any of us, would not let that happen to you.”

  “Caleb might feed me to the dogs if I step out of line.” The worry that my relationship with Reagan will be damaged if I can’t get along with her husband has floated around the edges of this entire situation.

  “Caleb is loyal, Kat. Just like you. If someone shit all over Reagan, you’d go ballistic. I think his feelings are justified.”

  He’s right. I lost my mind on Reagan’s ex-husband. It felt good to punch him in the face. He totally deserved it. “I will admit I’m curious, but I feel like I’m betraying everything I’ve fought to become by going there.”

  “You can’t know what going into a club will mean to you unless you actually step inside the door. There is nothing saying you can’t leave.”

  “But what if I like it too much? What if I lose myself in this process? I want to try but the fear is that I’ll end up being the thing I’ve fought against for years.”

  Ax listens to my rant and seems to reflect on the words he wants to say. “How strong is the part of you that has faith in him?”

  I know in my heart that Blake would never intentionally hurt me. I feel like that knowledge, that love, grows every day. “It has potent
ial.”

  “Good, let’s go with that then.” He leans in, elbows on the table. “Have you ever role-played or dressed up for a lover?”

  “What like naughty nurse, saucy librarian? Yeah, I’ve done that.” My eyes catch the quick movements of the waitstaff in the distance. “Did you play sex-starved waitress and the hungry patron with Reese?”

  His head rocks back and forth. “You are a huge pain in my ass, Kat. Are you finished eating this truckload of food?”

  “Mmmhmm,” I offer through a mouthful of gooey meat and cheese.

  “Good, I never thought I’d say this, but let’s go shopping.” Ax flops two twenties on the table and exits the booth. “I’ll drive.”

  “Where are we going?” I call after him, grabbing my bag from the booth.

  “To a place where I dug a nice, deep hole for you,” he says with a low growl.

  “Tell me about how you dug in Reese’s deep hole,” I chirp. I might be worried about the kink house but I’ve always loved a good sex story.

  “No,” he says, as he offers me a hand in climbing up into the big truck.

  “Ax,” I look around the huge cab of the truck as he hoists himself into the driver’s seat, “is this truck compensating for some masculine, uh, shortcomings you might be struggling with? Seriously, you could sleep six in here.”

  He turns over the engine, glaring at me with devilish eyes. “There’s no compensation here, Kat. It’s a replica. Completely to scale.”

  Two hours later, I’m standing in a fetish shop wearing the most comfortable leather pants I’ve ever pulled over my legs and a tight shimmery black tank top that, with the right bra, will showcase my lovely cleavage. The ensemble is probably the tamest thing in the joint, but it’s perfect. I’m comfortable. I feel sexy. The process of picking out an outfit has been exhilarating and, to my surprise, empowering. I tried on some daring pieces that will only be seen in the privacy of our respective homes. I would have never known how sinfully delightful those pieces would have been if I didn’t walk in here.

  The woman who has been helping us scoots over and opens up a box containing a pair of gorgeous red velvet heels. They will add at least four inches to my height and they are fucking hot. I slip them on, the powerful feeling that comes from wearing killer heels flows through my body. Blake is going to love this outfit.

  “You look so beautiful, Kat. I’m very proud of you.” Reagan’s praise makes me glow. As soon as Ax disclosed where we were going, I texted her for reinforcement. Ax seemed grateful for the reprieve and has been chatting up the owners of the shop since we arrived. He glances at me over his shoulder, giving me the thumbs up in approval.

  “Okay,” he pats the counter, before walking toward the elevated platform where I’m standing, “here’s the last piece.” In his beefy hand is a black filigree mask with silver and red accents. “Try this on and tell me what you think.”

  “What’s this for?” I take the delicate mask in my hands, holding it up to my face.

  “This is for the Shy Submissive role-play you are going to ask Blake to participate in. The Shy Submissive is willing but hesitant. The mask helps her hide her fear but allows her to walk through the door with the confidence of anonymity. She’s a mystery and a dream to the Dom who is willing to accept her.”

  His words form a tight vise around my throat. I know Blake will accept me, he has. Blake has never questioned me. He had been strong for me in so many ways and I have hurt him. I turn to the mirror, sniffing back tears as I put on the mask and assume the role. Reagan quickly shifts behind me, using the silky ties to secure the fabric that hides the majority of my face. I look different, attractive and seductive. The woman staring back at me is one I’ve seen in my mind, bold and confident in her decisions. Strong in her convictions. Loving and willing for her man. I just hope Blake loves me enough to forgive all the ways I’ve hurt him.

  “You look beautiful, kitten.” Reagan beams, tears building in the corners of her eyes.

  “But,” the lingering fear that all of this is for nothing makes the words thick with emotion, “what if he doesn’t recognize me?”

  A deep huff emits from Ax, before crossing his arms over his chest and giving me a warm, kind look. “Kat,” he says with firm surety, “that man would recognize your heart anywhere.”

  Chapter 34

  Blake

  All day long Ax has texted me to make sure I was here, now he’s nowhere to be found. I’ve cased the entire place, which isn’t easy on a busy Saturday night. I can’t find Ax and haven’t seen Kat since she left me yesterday. We’ve sent brief text messages, but nothing that would constitute a real conversation.

  The vision of her standing in my bathroom, eyes puffy from crying is seared in my mind. When she demanded to know if I loved her, I couldn’t deny her. It’s the truth; if this is going to work, I need to be honest.

  When she bolted, I knew something was wrong. Then I think she would have blown up or freaked out if I really hit a nerve. Part of me feels like a fool for showing her my cards.

  To rub salt in my wound, Caleb won’t say a fucking thing. He has to know something. That asshole knows everything. When I pressed Reagan for information, she gave me a mischievous look that made me want to rip down walls.

  The real thorn in my side is Ax. Caleb has assured me they are friends, but the fact that Kat has been silent, and that Ax is the only one communicating with me, ratchets up my need to punch him. The fears surrounding Kat being caught between us makes my stomach drop a little more each day. If she chooses him over me, I can’t be here anymore. Caleb will just have to understand. Thinking about him touching her intimately makes my body hum with violence.

  The more I think about it, Nick’s response to my scene with Sky was justified. Yup, I deserved to have the shit kicked out of me.

  My pocket vibrates with an incoming text. Which is, of course, from my nemesis.

  Are you in the club?

  Why Ax needs my coordinates at all times is beyond me.

  Yes, jackass, I am.

  All I get back is one word before being left to stew in my juices.

  Good.

  Leaning on the bar, I am quickly greeted by Chloe who offers a drink and a kind ear.

  “Water,” I reply stiffly, “and the story is too long.”

  She nods, gives me my drink, and flits away to tend to other patrons knowing that I’m a lost cause.

  I don’t understand why I’m here. Should I not have told her I loved her?

  “Hey, man.” Caleb claps me on the shoulder as he settles on the bar stool next to me. “What’s up?”

  “You’re looking at it,” I grumble. “Hey, do you know where Ax is? He’s been in my face all day.”

  “Yup,” Caleb turns to face the open room, lifting a casual hand, pointing into the crowd, “he’s right there.”

  Shifting to see where Caleb is pointing, I watch a mass of people step aside to allow Ax a smooth line to me, a petite blonde woman holding onto the crux of his arm.

  My woman is on his arm.

  Her heels amplify her height, making her legs appear longer in the sleek black leather, the shimmery top and silver accents on her mask sparkle under the lights of the club.

  “Blake.” Ax’s greeting holds a strange formality. Like he’s rehearsed a speech. The thought that he is going to tell me Kat is submitting to him sends my heart into overdrive, my guts to the floor. Oh fuck no… The tension sets my muscles on edge, straining with the need to pummel Ax into the ground.

  “Blake, relax, man.” Caleb’s voice attempts to cajole me. His hand grips my biceps, pulling me back from leaning toward Ax, preparing to smash his jaw to dust. “Hear him out.”

  Ax nods to Caleb and continues. “Blake, I would like to negotiate a session for my friend. She is new to the lifestyle and would like to experience the club, but she has some reservations.”

  My vision zips between the two of them, the gray matter between my ears unable to register what is hap
pening. Ax standing stoic. Kat, still linked to his arm, quiet and composed, eyes directed to the floor. Both of them are waiting.

  “What the fuck is going on?” I can’t hide the exasperation. She’s been incommunicado since she left and now Ax is negotiating a scene for her.

  “Are you willing to negotiate a scene with my friend, or not?” His steely voice is pressed between gritted teeth.

  She fidgets, but still holds onto Ax. Her hips jerk as she rocks from heel to heel. Her eyes dart to the corner of the room, her teeth gripping her crimson lip. I follow her gaze and see Reagan shifting closer to her friend. She holds up her hands, giving her the signal to stop before Reagan mouths calm down. I watch Kat’s sides expand with a deep inhale as she resumes her position, back straight, eyes downcast. I watch her grip on Ax’s arm tighten, his muscles bunching in response. While Ax is calm and reserved, anxiety vibrates off Kat from every direction.

  Her obvious distress is a sucker punch. It’s awful being away from her or thinking about her with another man. Seeing her in emotional turmoil is worse than anything I could imagine. “Of course I’ll negotiate.” The words are said to her, but with her eyes downcast, she can’t see me.

  “Next time don’t take so long, fuckwad,” he snarls. Ax takes a breath and moves forward with the conversation. “Blake, this is Paradise. She is precious, delicate, has a mouth like a truck driver, and is a huge pain in the ass.”

  His jab makes me laugh. “I’m willing to take all those aspects into consideration.”

  “She is scared and requires time to negotiate the negative things that have clouded her mind. Are you familiar with those things?”

  “Sadly, yes,” I say to Kat, more than Ax. “Those words should have never been in her mind in the first place.”

  Her head drops, shoulders rolling forward, a tremor shaking her small frame.

  “You okay?” Ax asks her. Kat, rather Paradise, nods her head before inhaling and resuming her stance. She lifts her gaze enough for me to see the sheen of tears over her eyes sparkling like the silver highlights of her mask.

  Turning his attention back to me, Ax continues. “Paradise has requested to go home with you tonight. Do you agree with that?”