Sinfully Mine

by Kendall Ryan

  “No, actually. He agreed that you and I could work together on exploring BDSM.” His gaze skitters away from mine, and he’s entirely too calm. Not to mention, it doesn’t sound like something Cam would agree to. Like ever.

  He’s leaving something out.

  “That’s it? He was fine with it?” My voice reveals my disbelief.

  “The only caveat is there will be no sex.”

  I glare at him as if he’s grown three heads. That’s the point. The entire fucking point. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I don’t whether to laugh or to cry. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.” There’s no way in fuck I’m agreeing to that, but I don’t want to shoot myself in the foot before we even begin. “Cam’s an idiot,” I say instead, waiting to feel him out.

  Reece shrugs. “He’s your older brother. It’s to be expected.”

  “So . . . how do we do this?” Do I drop my pants here, or are we venturing down into the club?

  “It’ll be three lessons. I think you’ll be satisfied with that.”

  My heart hammers wildly in my chest at the knowledge we’re actually going to do this. Three lessons. With Reece Jackson, the Dominant. “When do we start?”

  “Tonight. I have work to do today, but we’ll have dinner and discuss your goals and limits. Do you like Cuban food?”

  I level him with my stare. “I lived in Miami for two years. Of course I do.”

  “Perfect. There’s a good restaurant we can meet at tonight just down the street. The food is excellent, and the lighting is low. It’s quiet enough to talk, but loud enough to not be overheard.”

  “Okay,” I agree.

  “Give me your phone.”

  “Why?”

  “I always exchange numbers with submissives I’m working with.”

  He says it so dismissively, as if I’m nothing more than one of his playthings, as if we don’t have a deep and complicated history. I hand my phone over reluctantly, probably some leftover reaction from Tony’s constant distrust and questions. He used to read my texts, even though I was nothing but faithful to him.

  Glancing at me curiously, Reece adds, “And I’m going to text you the address of the restaurant.”

  “All right. Sounds good. I’ll see you there.”

  “Seven o’clock. Don’t be late, Macey.”

  “Wouldn’t dream of it, sir.” I can’t help the sass in my voice. One way or another, I will get my way.

  Chapter Five

  Reece

  When I got home and saw what Macey had done to my apartment, she thought I was mad, but I was actually kind of in awe. I’ve never had a girlfriend, never had someone who cared enough to spend her time doing little things just for me. Thoughtful things like organizing and tidying up my place. Facing all my damn hangers the same way. Or making sure I had a soft, fluffy rug to step out on after showering, versus the cold tile that I was used to.

  I’m just glad she didn’t find my stash of toys. I can only imagine the butt plugs would be organized by size, the vibrators by color and intensity. A little bit of chaos in life is a good thing. Not to mention, I don’t want to scare her off before we even begin. She might be putting on a brave face, but I know that I’ll be opening her up to a whole new world. I could smell the fear and uncertainty on her during that club tour as if she was wearing it like a perfume.

  Needing to keep busy before our meeting tonight, I find myself in my office down on the main floor of the club, catching up on business. As I gaze at my laptop screen, I realize I’ve been staring at the same blank spreadsheet for twenty minutes. Shit. I’m not even sure what I’m hoping to accomplish right now, just that I can’t hang around upstairs with Macey so close in my personal space. It’s throwing me off my fucking game, but I intend to get back control tonight.

  “Hey, boss.” Chrissy, the club sub, pokes her head in my office doorway.

  “Hey, Chrissy. Everything all right?”

  “Yeah. Just worried about you.”

  “Me?” I’ve never given my employees a reason to worry about me, and I don’t plan to start now.

  She tilts her head, examining me. “You’ve been different since that girl arrived.”

  “Macey?”

  She nods. “That’s the one. Unless you’re hiding another woman upstairs in your apartment . . .”

  “No. I’m fine. You don’t have to worry.”

  “You don’t let women stay over, though, so I assume she’s someone you’re serious about, but I’ve never heard you talk about her before.”

  “She and I go way back, and I’m trying to figure out how she fits into my life here, if it all.”

  Chrissy lets herself in and sinks into the chair across from me. She and I have a long history, mostly just as friends, though there were a few times when she first began coming to the club that we shared more. Now she’s an employee, and call me old-fashioned, but I don’t fuck my employees. Chrissy’s a good girl, and we look out for each other.

  “She used to be your submissive?” she asks, a look of concern crossing her features.

  “No. We knew each other ages ago. She’s not into the lifestyle.”

  Chrissy smiles at me warmly. “She wouldn’t be here if she wasn’t interested.”

  That’s the problem, though. I don’t know if she’s interested in me, curious about what goes on behind closed doors, or simply running from a crappy situation and grasping onto the first distraction she can find. I intend to find out.

  Chrissy’s gaze softens, and she leans in closer. “In all the time I’ve known you, you’ve never had a girlfriend, never taken on a submissive as your own.”

  Narrowing my eyes, I lean back in my chair. “And? Your point is?” My annoyance is rising by the second. I don’t appreciate people meddling in my personal life.

  “Behind the tough Dom exterior, I know you’re actually a sweet guy, Reece. I just want you to be happy.” She smiles at me sadly.

  “I’m fine, Chrissy.”

  A flash of movement catches my eye, and I glance toward the door.

  It’s Macey. A flicker of an unidentifiable emotion crosses her face as she says, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I just wanted to confirm the time for tonight.”

  I know it’s just an excuse because I cleared the time with her upstairs. I’m not sure if she came down here to see me or was merely curious about club business. Her gaze wanders from me over to Chrissy, and she goes completely still.

  Chrissy’s dressed in her black vintage lingerie—lacy high-waisted panties, garters, stockings with a seam that runs up the back, and on top, a corset that allows her ample breasts to spill over. I’m so accustomed to seeing her like this, I don’t even look twice, but Macey’s cheeks flush.

  “No, I was just leaving,” Chrissy says, rising to her feet. “I have to get back to work. I have a bossy Dom who’ll be here any minute, and he’ll redden my ass if I’m late.” She smiles. “Oh, darn.”

  I chuckle as Chrissy heads to the door. She’s good at her job, that’s for sure.

  Chrissy pauses at the door before exiting and faces Macey. “Be careful with him,” she says before sauntering away. Macey remains speechless near the door.

  “Seven o’clock,” I remind Macey. “Wear something nice.”

  She nods and ducks out of my office, escaping like a scared little mouse.

  Well, that was interesting.

  • • •

  At ten minutes to seven, I walk into the restaurant and request a table in the back. I want to be here when Macey arrives. And after working all afternoon, I need a few minutes to get in the right mind space for this conversation.

  Leave it to her to walk back into my life and uproot everything in a matter of two damn days. Christ, I’ve been letting her walk all over me, call all the shots. That won’t do. I need to regain the upper hand. She hasn’t seen my dominant side, but she’s about to.

  After being seated at the white-clothed table with a small candle in the center,
I order us a bottle of wine. The lighting is dim, and all of the other patrons seem to be couples. Frowning down at the candle bathing our secluded table and two wineglasses in a romantic glow of light, I mutter a silent curse. Why had I insisted on bringing Macey here? It feels romantic in a way that this situation doesn’t call for. All she’s looking to do is forget her troubles for a while, and I’m the man she wants to do it with. I need to treat her as I would any new submissive entering the scene.

  Moments later, the hostess escorts a timid-looking Macey back to greet me. I drink in her long glossy hair that I want to wrap in my fist, her tight and curvy body built for a man’s pleasure, and that sinful mouth I want to fuck. As beautiful as she is, seeing her reminds me of the past, a painful past that I’ve tucked away and tried to forget. She was my first love—the girl who broke my heart—and I’ve changed a lot since then. No sense in reverting now because those big blue eyes are latched onto mine as if she’d follow me anywhere.

  I need to remain cool and detached, just like I would with any potential sub, but damn if I don’t want to collar her and drag her back to my bed and fuck her senseless.

  Rising from the table, I walk slowly and deliberately toward her. Macey’s eyes widen and her mouth opens as if she wants to say something, but just as quickly she closes it and lets me take her hand, escorting her away from the hostess and toward our table. Before pulling out her chair, I lean in close and drop my voice to a whisper.

  “Tonight, I’m going to treat you as I would any other sub. Which means I’m in charge, and you will do as I ask. Any complaints or issues with that, Pancake?” My voice is calm and steady, and Macey takes note.

  She shakes her head, wisely choosing to remain silent. When I pull out her chair, she gracefully lowers herself into her seat, and I can’t help but notice how sexy she looks wearing a black minidress and matching six-inch heels. Damn. The little girl I once knew has definitely grown up. She’s a fucking bombshell.

  Before we have the chance to settle in, the waitress approaches the table, looking between us. Her gaze lingers on me long enough that Macey rolls her eyes.

  “Are you out for a special occasion?” the waitress asks.

  I glance at Macey and fight off a smirk. “You could say that.”

  “Anything other than the wine, miss?” the waitress asks Macey.

  “This is great, thank you.” Her eyes lock on me when she answers, as if she’s already a sub in my care, looking for guidance and direction. My cock twitches under the table.

  “I’ll just give you a minute with the menus then,” the waitress says, then scampers off.

  I pour Macey a glass of red wine and set it in front of her. Her shoulders are stiff, and she’s clutching the menu so hard her knuckles are white. Remembering that it’s my job to set her at ease, I glance up at her over my menu. “I forgot to ask earlier, how’s your nana?”

  The mood relaxes instantly, and she smiles up at me. “She’s good. She’ll be eighty-one this year. Cam and I want to plan her a big party with all of her friends from the retirement community.”

  “Sounds like fun.”

  “Oh, you know, tapioca pudding and Polka music. It’ll be off the hook.”

  Her smile is sunny and bright, and I can’t help but chuckle at her. She’s so strong and well-adjusted, despite losing her parents at such a tender age. It’s just one of the many things I admire about Macey.

  “Tonight we’ll discuss the parameters of your training.”

  She rolls her eyes. “Yes, my sexless BDSM training. Sounds like a blast.”

  “That’s your brother’s request, not mine.”

  “It’s not his business who I let near my vagina, Reece. We both know that. I’m an adult now.”

  A woman at the neighboring table is staring at us, so I lean closer to Macey. “Keep your voice down,” I remind her. “We don’t want to attract an audience.” I might be good fodder for Chicago’s gossip websites, but I’d rather keep my private life private.

  She rolls her eyes. “I’m serious about this. I told you what I wanted. You’ve told me what my brother wants. But what do you want?”

  I pull a deep breath into my lungs and study the woman seated before me. What do I want? That’s the million-dollar question.

  Ever since Macey so casually strolled out of my life without so much as a backward glance, things turned to shit. My parents divorced after twenty-three years of marriage, each moving to opposite coasts. My dad is in New Jersey with his brothers and family, while my mom is trying to recapture her youth, living in Redondo Beach and dating a surf instructor.

  Meanwhile, I quietly built my business, casually experimenting with submissives to pass the time, never giving thought to what I really want. And now it seems I have the chance to do that. But wanting something and taking what you shouldn’t have are two different things. Just because my body wants the physical pleasure that being with Macey would provide, does that make it right? I’m sure Hale won’t think so. Maybe I was stupid to ask his permission. Now that I have his parameters, doesn’t that make it worse when I take her anyway?

  “I promised your brother there wouldn’t be any sexual contact in these lessons,” I repeat. Maybe if I say it enough times, it’ll get easier to swallow, but I doubt it.

  “Where’s the fun in that?” She’s pouting, actually fucking pouting those pretty pink lips at me. Those lips that I’ve imagined wrapped around my cock since the day she arrived.

  I lean closer and tuck a lock of auburn hair behind her ear. “I know, sweetheart, but I’m trying here. I’m trying to instruct you, and also be a good friend to Hale.”

  “What Hale doesn’t know won’t hurt him. We’re both grown-ups, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Don’t your lessons usually involve sex?”

  “Yes,” I say, unequivocally. Fuck. Yes.

  “Well, I want my junk touching your junk. Do you want that too?”

  “Yeah,” I choke out. Did she just say junk?

  “Okay then, it’s settled. Three lessons. Our genitals will be friends, and that’s it. At the end of it, we part ways.”

  That’s what I’m afraid of.

  I take a deep breath, steeling my resolve. I have to stick to the terms of our agreement—three lessons. Three opportunities to show Macey who’s in charge. There can be no emotional ties. No, this will be all about the physical.

  Even if my heart wanted her at one time, things have changed. My faith in love has been all but obliterated, initially by my own first love, then by watching my parents’ marriage dissolve into a nasty battle. Later it was further damaged by witnessing my best friend’s betrayal by the woman he gave his heart to. I’ve been successful at completely tuning it all out, allowing me to become the man I am today.

  The only kind of relationship I want is the kind where naked women trust me with their willing bodies and curious minds. I live for that hazy, disoriented sub-space look in their eyes after a particularly intense scene. The one that tells me they idolize my very existence and will do anything I command. I feel ten feet tall in those moments, like a pure sex god built for doling out pleasure and punishment.

  Taking Macey to that place is something I’ve fantasized about, but never thought I’d make a reality. Do I dare go there with the woman who once owned me so completely?

  You bet your sweet ass I’m going to. You only live once, right? There’s a saying for this . . . carpe diem or something. Seize the day, I think. Macey is giving me her submission on a silver platter, and what happens behind closed doors will be our business. Hale doesn’t call all the shots, even if he likes to think he does.

  Leaning forward with my elbows on the table, I lift my gaze to Macey’s. “What I want, sweetheart is you naked, bound, and spread open before me, your wrists laced together with my rope, your ankles pinned with my spreader bar. Your cunt waiting for me to fill it. You will be used as I see fit. Do you understand?”

  Her quick inhalation of breath sig
nals this is an idea she finds appealing, which only excites me more. I have to remind myself to keep detached.

  “Will I be gagged?” she asks.

  “No.” I smile at her. “You won’t be gagged. I’ll want to hear all the pretty whimpers and cries falling from your mouth.”

  “And what about you?” she asks. “Will I be able to touch you? Kiss you?”

  My own heart rate spikes despite the calm, cool demeanor I’m struggling to keep in place. “Do you want those things?”

  Nodding eagerly, she meets my stare. “I think you know I do.”

  “I don’t know you anymore, Macey. You keep forgetting that. You’ve walked back in my life like we can pick up right where we left off, but we’ve both changed.”

  She watches me for a few quiet moments, as if she wants to disagree. “You never answered the question.” A smile twitches on her mouth.

  “You will touch me when, how, and where I say.” My tone comes out harsher than I intended. Damn, get it together. “And kissing is not something I generally do with my submissives, but given our history, I’ll take it under advisement.”

  Fuck, there’s nothing I want more than my mouth on hers. Watching her pretty blue eyes fall closed, feeling the warmth of her tongue sweep against mine . . .

  I down the remainder of my wine, then catch her gaze. “We need to cover a few things. How many sexual partners have you had?”

  She licks her lips, looking down at her plate. I don’t know why she’s embarrassed to tell me her number. Unless it’s really high . . . or really low . . .

  “Macey? Look at me.”

  She clears her throat, and her eyes dart up. “Two.”

  “That’s it?” Fuck me, that’s not what I was expecting. It makes me want her pussy on my mouth. Right now.

  The waitress saunters up and stops next to our table. “Ready to order?”

  Hell yeah, I am. Pussy à la carte, please.

  Well aware Macey hasn’t absorbed a word of the menu she’s been studying, I glance at her. “May I?”

  She nods.

  “We’ll have the coconut chicken with avocado and mango salad, please.” It’s one of the best things on their menu. “Rice and beans?” I direct my question toward Macey.