by T. T. Kove
It was easy for me to say though, but not easy for him to take to heart. They were his friends. The only ones he had, and had had for years. It wasn’t easy to mess with that.
The bell rang, ending our chat.
“Think about it, okay?” I patted his shoulder. “If the cons outweighs the pros of telling her the truth, don’t do it. But you got to do something if you don’t want her to keep pestering you.”
He nodded quickly. “I know.” He turned away. “I’ll see you later.”
I headed off to class, and I didn’t see Jakob again until lunch. As per usual I sat on a table in the cafeteria, because it was still too cold to head outside. Jakob sat at a table on the other end of the room surrounded by his friends, but he didn’t seem particularly happy.
“Careful, or I might get jealous.”
I jumped in surprise as Roar murmured in my ear, then turned to watch him sit in the chair next to me. “You’ve got absolutely nothing to be jealous about. We’re friends. I think.” I glanced at him again.
Hedda was at their table too, but she didn’t sit next to Jakob.
“Poor guy. He’s got a lot on his mind.”
“You want to share what exactly it is?”
“I can’t. I promised to keep it a secret.” And I’d take that secret with me to the grave if I had to. I wasn’t going to be the one to out him to anyone he didn’t want to be outed to.
“All right then.” He leant back on his chair and hooked his hands behind his neck. “I’m working again today.”
“We doing the same as yesterday?”
“If you don’t mind.” The look he gave me told me clearly he’d much prefer it.
“I don’t. At all.” Which meant I’d head down to meet him at midnight, and we’d walk home to me and get into bed. It was a perfect ending to a day, to snuggle up in bed with him.
It meant I didn’t get as much sleep as I was used to, as when I had school the day after, I was usually in bed by twelve… but it was so worth it.
“I think I’ll spend some time with Iselin today,” I said then, glancing around after her. It was weird that she hadn’t joined me in the cafeteria yet. “I feel like I’ve been ignoring her a little for the past few days.”
He only nodded silently.
It made me feel a bit melancholy, because he didn’t have any friends. No one to spend his time with outside of school and work. He only had me—or his abusive stepfather, and if I had any say in the matter he wouldn’t be heading back there to sleep anytime soon.
I tugged on his elbow and when he untangled his hands from around his neck, I took his in mine and tangled our fingers together. “You all right?”
He’d had a run-in with his stepfather last night, when we’d stopped by there so he could pick up some clothes. The arsehole hadn’t hit him again—he still had the shiner under his eye from last time, after all—but he’d been downright nasty.
I hadn’t witnessed it, because as we’d agreed, I’d waited outside.
Still, I’d been able to tell he’d been upset when he’d finally come out—and on our way home I’d managed to drag it out of him.
“So my sister and her boyfriend know about us now.” I’d forgot to tell him that, what with his stepfather and all last night. “Jo saw us at the gas station when you went to work. He saw us kiss.”
“Were they okay with it?” He eyed me curiously.
“Sure. Why shouldn’t they be?” I tilted my head slightly to the side to stare back at him. “I think I should tell my uncle soon, too.”
“Yeah, considering I’ve practically lived there for the past two days, I think you should.” He chuckled. “It’ll be real awkward the day I do meet him and he doesn’t have a clue who I am.”
“I’m going to tell him. Maybe this weekend? I don’t know. Alex and Leo are coming home, like usual. I’m not sure I want to break something like this around the dinner table with them all.” I shuddered at the thought of all their eyes on me—not to mention what Ben would have to say about the matter. “If Ben meets you, he’ll probably start to hit on you.”
That earned me a startled laugh out of him. “Trust me, you’ve got nothing to worry about there.”
“Oh, you don’t know Ben. He’s really charming.” He’d managed to hold onto Tarjei for four years, for some reason way beyond me, and he needed proper skills for that. Considering what I’d heard about Tarjei—that he shagged whoever, whenever, whatever… it was a wonder he kept coming back to Ben.
But their weird relationship wasn’t something I wanted to dwell on. It was none of my business.
Ben could live his life the way he wanted, shag whoever he wanted—and I could do the very same.
But I was sticking to only one guy.
The best guy.
In the end, Iselin didn’t show up at lunch, so I spent the entire half hour talking with Roar. We went out to eat again after school, and after I walked with him down to the gas station.
“See you at midnight.” I leaned up for a kiss, which he gladly gave me.
“I can manage the walk back to you on my own,” he said. “So you don’t have to come all the way down here.” He slid his arms around me, drawing me in close.
“But I want to.” Losing a little sleep didn’t matter. Tomorrow was Friday anyway, which meant I didn’t have school until third period. It was worse for him, who had to be there by the regular eight thirty. “See you.”
After another lingering kiss, I pulled away.
My phone vibrated in my pocket and I took it up to check what was going on as I walked. It was a message from Jakob, and I unlocked my screen to check what he’d written.
Jakob: So I did it.
I told her.
How did she take it?
Jakob: Okay, I think?
She wasn’t happy though.
But I hope she understands now.
That’s good!
Great for you, Jakob.
One more person who knows the truth.
Jakob: Heh, yeah.
Maybe some day, once school’s over, I’ll tell my friends too.
Why when school’s over?
Jakob: Because that’s when we go our separate ways.
I won’t have to worry about how they react then, because we’re all heading off in different directions anyway.
You know what, you’re coming over to my place this weekend.
Alex is coming home, and I think you two should meet.
Jakob: Alex? Your brother?
No, my brother’s boyfriend.
Andreas is in the army. I have no idea when he’s coming home next time.
But you should totally meet him too.
Jakob: All right.
As long as you’re not trying to set me up with anyone.
LOL. You wish.
Alex is with my brother after all.
And I wouldn’t ever.
I’m keeping you away from Ben!
Jakob: Maybe I should.
Should what?
…
Get with Ben???
Jakob: Yeah. I don’t know.
Maybe I should get laid?
Get it over and done with.
I stared down at my phone, somewhat taken aback to learn he was a virgin. I shouldn’t be surprised though, considering he’d told me he’d never given in to Hedda’s advances.
Trust me, Jakob, you want your first time to be special.
Not with someone you don’t even know.
My first time had been with my ex, and it had been special at the time. Not so much now when I thought about it, but it was what it was.
And nothing bad about Ben—I loved the lad to bits, but he got on my nerves at times, and he was a total slag. Jakob was quickly becoming a good friend and I didn’t want him to end up in bed with my cousin—or be screwed over by him. Because Ben didn’t do anything but oneoffs, unless it was Tarjei. He always ended up back with Tarjei.
If those two didn’t figure their shit ou
t soon…
Jakob: Yeah, you’re right.
I’m going to wait until university.
That way I won’t have to worry about my friends or parents.
I felt sorry for him. He had so much to take into consideration, simply because he was afraid to come out. And he apparently had good reason to be afraid, which sucked.
Jakob: I did apply for schools today.
Applied in Trondheim and Volda, the closest ones, but also places further away.
I hope to get into one of the first two though.
I want freedom, but I don’t want to be too far from home.
I got that one. It was the same thought process I had. I wanted to be able to go home for a weekend, without too long a travel that would eat into time spent with my family.
I have to apply too.
It completely skipped my mind the applications are open.
Need to figure out what Roar wants to do though.
Jakob: You’re that serious?
You want to go to school together?
I don’t know.
I mean, if we’re together by fall I want to at least be in the same town as him.
Maybe we can room together.
Maybe the three of us could room together if we end up in Trondheim, huh?
That would be neat.
And save us all on rent, because it’s expensive up there!
Jakob: Rooming together sounds like a good idea!
What about Iselin? Aren’t you going to room with her?
No, Iselin’s heading down south.
She wants to be a veterinarian—and with her perfect grades, she’ll definitely get in.
So she’ll be in Oslo for at least three years.
This fall would be the very first time I’d be without my best friend. We’d been together so long it was unreal to even think about the fact we would be so far apart.
I was slowly making new friends—Roar and Jakob—but none could eve replace Iselin. I’d miss her so much once school was over and we went out separate ways.
So that was why I headed to her house. It was time for some best friend bonding.
19
Drugs
I spent the entire evening with Iselin—to the point I had to run out her door right before midnight if I wanted to be downtown in time for Roar to get off work.
I didn’t make it.
In the end, I was ten minutes late.
Roar was outside, the doors were closed and the gas station dark. But he wasn’t alone. In front of him stood another figure, with his back to me.
I saw him slip something to Roar.
Roar slipped something back.
My heart started beating quicker. I had no idea what was going on, it could simply be something trivial as Roar buying something for a friend before he closed the shop.
But Roar has no friends.
Iselin’s warning, about the rumour she’d heard Roar was on drugs… it was forefront on my mind.
“Roar!” I called out, alerting them to my presence.
He looked up at me, eyes widening a little.
The person in front of him turned half-way—and I froze.
It wasn’t just anyone Roar was talking to—it was bloody Marcus. The psycho arsehole who almost killed Alex, who got me drunk and possibly drugged me.
And he’d just slipped something to Roar…
Anger made me brave, and I stalked towards them.
“What are you doing here?” I demanded of Marcus.
He regarded me lazily. “I think the better question is why are you here. Go home little girl.” He made a shooing motion, as if I was an annoying little brat.
I clenched my hands. “What did you do to me?”
His eyebrows drew together.
“On Saturday! What did you do to me?” I stepped closer to him, ignoring Roar entirely for now. “Did you only get me drunk or did you drug me too?”
“What?” This was Roar and he now glanced from me to Marcus and back at me again.
Marcus’ frown deepened. “What the hell?”
“I know you were there. I know you gave me drinks.” My hands shook from nerves and adrenaline and anger. “Do you get off on drugging girls? Is that the only way you ever get anything?”
His lips pressed together into a thin line. “I warn you, Maria—”
“You warn me? Lucky me. You didn’t warn Alex when you hit him in the head with an iron bar.” Besides the fact that Alex could’ve died, the whole incident had messed them both up a lot.
I couldn’t ever forgive this arsehole for that.
If he’d done something to me… well, then I’d march straight up to the police station and press charges. With a second felony, he surely wouldn’t get off as lightly this time around. Not even with his brilliant attorney parents.
Marcus sneered now.
“Drugging someone is illegal. If I go press charges right now—”
“You can’t without evidence!” His face turned slightly red.
“You already have one incident on your criminal record. You think they’re going to let this go, even if I’ve got no evidence? It’ll be in your file.” I didn’t know where this bravery came from, this need to confront him. It felt good to do it, but also terrifying.
“I didn’t drug you, you mad cunt!” He took a step back. “Yes, I gave you drinks, but you were already pretty pissed. I didn’t do shit to you.”
I believed him, because my threat about pressing charges clearly had him in a bit of a panic.
“You better not have.” Jasmin’s recollection of events helped a lot with my believing him too. She’d sworn he hadn’t done anything to me, after all.
Marcus gave me a disgusted look, then strolled off with a shake of the head.
I turned slowly to face Roar, who stood still and silent behind me.
“What did he give you?”
“Give me?” He seemed honestly confused.
I licked my lips. “You exchanged something. What was it? Marcus isn’t in the business of trading lollipops, that’s for sure.” I didn’t want to demand answers from him, I wasn’t the type of girl who intruded like this… but Marcus was dangerous and whatever dealings Roar had with him couldn’t be good.
Roar looked away and bowed his head. “Pills,” he muttered. “He gave me some pills. I paid for them.”
My heart sank. “What kind of pills? Are you on drugs?”
Had the rumours been right for a change?
Please tell me they’re not right.
“They’re to keep me awake,” he admitted in a low voice, but then he squared his shoulders and straightened up to look straight at me. “I take them sometimes to stay awake, when I can’t go home, when I’m at work, and then got school in the morning. Because without them I’d be a bloody zombie.”
“What kind of drugs is it?” I had no particular knowledge about drugs. I didn’t know which one could keep a person awake. Was it cocaine? Meth? Ecstasy?
“It’s not a narcotic, if that’s what you think.” He drew a small plastic bag out of his pocket to show me the pills inside it. “They’re used for treating narcolepsy. To keep those who suffer from it awake. It works on people without narcolepsy too, though, and it keeps me focused at school after nights where I’ve had no sleep.”
The fight went out of me at his words.
Was it really so bad for him he had to stay out for entire nights? “Roar…”
“It is what it is.” But he looked away, seemingly unable to look at me. His hand clenched around the small plastic bag. “I don’t take them because I want to. I do it because I have to. Sometimes I have no other choice.”
Bloody hell.
“Let’s go home, Roar.” I reached out to him and grabbed his free hand. “Come on.” I tugged and he came, and we walked side by side away from the gas station. “Whenever you can’t go home, even if it’s every night, come to me. There’s always room for you in my bed. It’s a safe place, where no one’s ever goi
ng to hurt you.”
He stared down at the ground as we walked. “Okay.” But his voice sounded flat.
“What is it?” He’d slept at my place for two nights. Surely he wouldn’t need any of those pills now?
He bit down on his lip. “Marcus… did he really drug you?”
Is that it? I sighed. “I don’t know. All I know is I don’t remember shit from that night. It could’ve just been the alcohol, because people get blackouts from drinking all the time… but Iselin put the idea into my head and it scared me. When Jasmin told me Marcus gave me drinks, I instantly though— well, he’s fucking mental. He could’ve killed Alex.”
“I know he’s not right, that he’s a bad person to be around. But he’s the person if you need something you can’t obtain legally, you know?”
“Come sleep with me and you won’t have to commit felonies to stay awake.” I leaned my head against his shoulder.
“Sleep with you?” A wry grin spread slowly on his lips.
“Oh, you know what I mean!” I slapped his chest playfully. “But, yes, that too.”
I hooked my arm around his elbow and we walked for a while in silence.
“Stay with me Roar, and you won’t ever have to deal with your arsehole of a stepfather.”
“I’d still have to go back there once in a while.”
“But you don’t have to stay there.” Thomas wouldn’t mind Roar staying at the house. He liked a full house, considering even Leo came back every weekend with Alex now.
“We’ll see,” was all he said, with an embarrassed smile.
We were at the house now. Thomas’ car was in the driveway—and so was Leo’s.
