“No, this is perfect. I needed to get away from all the nationals hype for a little while. It gets to be a bit much sometimes, you know? Everyone looking at you, watching who you’re talking to, what you’re wearing…”
“It’s one big show,” Mom said.
“And this year is the biggest of all.”
The waitress took our drink orders, and I looked around the dimly-lit room. A candle glowed on each table, but the only other diners were two guys sitting close to the bakery counter. The restaurant was one of my favorite places on Beacon Hill to have dinner with Josh because of its romantic atmosphere.
“Do you remember the first time we came here?” I asked.
“How could I forget? The night after you and Mark won your first national medal.”
“I ate a whole pizza.” I held my stomach. “And remember how Em and Sergei stayed to have coffee after we left? I wanted to spy on them so bad. I was sure they were going to finally get together that night.”
“Took them a little while to get there.”
“Not as long as it took me and Josh.” I laughed.
The waitress interrupted us, and after we each ordered a pasta dish and handed over our menus, Mom smiled at me over her glass of wine.
“You and Josh are going to have a great story to tell your kids.”
“By the time we have kids, we might be too old to remember our story.”
She set down her glass and leaned slightly toward me. “You have plenty of time before you need to worry about being old.”
“I know, but… I have been thinking a lot about school and my career and marriage and family and… I’m not sure I still want to be a child psychologist. I’m already eight years behind starting college, and I don’t think I want to spend that many years in school.”
“A PhD is a long road, but it can lead to a very rewarding career.”
“So could a teaching degree.”
“Teaching?” Mom gave me a surprised look.
I’d been talking about studying child psychology for so long that I wasn’t shocked by Mom’s reaction. But after I’d postponed college another four years to skate with Josh, I’d taken a hard look at my life plan and realized my priorities had changed. I wanted to establish my career before starting a family, and I didn’t want to wait until my mid-thirties to do that.
“Early childhood education,” I said. “I love working with kids, especially younger ones, so I think this could be a great alternative.”
“Have you researched the education major at BC?”
I nodded and sipped my water. “I can get a master’s in five years.”
Mom sat back and studied me a few moments. “You know your dad and I just want you to find the right path — the one that leads you to doing something you love. If you think this is something you can be passionate about, then we’ll be behind you one hundred percent.”
“I’ve talked to one of the professors and one of the students in the program, and it sounds like it’ll be a great fit for me.”
“Then you and Josh will both be teachers.” Mom smiled. “I’d say you could send him some business, but preschoolers are a little young to learn how to play the piano. Unless they’re musical prodigies.”
I laughed. “He’s super excited to look for studio space in Boston. Some of his students on the Cape love him so much that their parents said they’ll drive them all the way up here for lessons.”
“That’s great he doesn’t have to start from scratch in getting students.”
“He knows it’s going to take time to build up his business, but he’ll also be doing choreography on the side, and I’ll get a part-time job somewhere. We’ve been saving a lot too, and this summer we’re going to pick up extra shifts at the restaurant since we won’t be training anymore.”
“You’ll be just fine.” Mom patted my hand. “Lots of young married couples are still in school or just starting their careers, and with your skating backgrounds neither of you are strangers to hard work and good time management.”
“Young married couple,” I repeated as I looked down at the table and fiddled with my silverware. “I hope we’ll be one of those.”
“Why wouldn’t you be?”
I shifted my gaze out the window at the people hurrying down the sidewalk, bundled in their coats. “Josh hasn’t mentioned marriage in a long time. I kinda thought we’d be engaged by now.”
“Maybe he’s waiting to propose at the Olympics.”
“Well, that’s a little risky,” I said and immediately tapped my temples emphatically. “Positive thoughts. I’m supposed to think only positive thoughts.”
Mom grasped both my hands and held them warmly in hers. “It sounds like you’re thinking about too many things. Just concentrate on doing your best this week.”
“This morning was far from my best. But tomorrow… tomorrow I’m going to kill it in practice.”
“Dad and I are taking early lunches so we can be there to cheer you on.”
“If you see Mrs. Tucker, run in the opposite direction. I swear, I just can’t with that woman. If we make—“ I stopped and held up one finger. “When we make the Olympic team, she’ll be on the first plane to Sochi. She’s going to somehow get herself on TV every chance she gets. Watch, she’ll have her own interview on the TODAY show.”
“I wish you were going to have nicer in-laws. You deserve a second family that loves you as their own.”
“They don’t even love their own as their own.” I shook my head. “At least Stephanie and I get along now. She’s been great with designing our costumes this year. I mean, I know she did it to get her name out there, but I think she genuinely wants Josh to be happy. I can’t say the same for his parents.”
“I don’t understand people like that. I really don’t,” Mom said.
“It’s good you don’t. I’d be worried if you did.”
My phone dinged, and I pulled it from my purse to read the text.
Josh: I’m contemplating stabbing myself with my fork to end this meal.
I cringed and looked up at Mom. “Josh’s dinner isn’t going so well.”
“Poor guy. I feel for him.”
Me: Do you need more payment from me on my debt to you? :)
Only a few seconds passed before my phone chimed.
Josh: Yes, especially since this morning you benefited just as much as I did ;)
Heat bloomed inside me, and I smiled and returned the phone to my purse.
“Things looking up?” Mom asked.
“Josh helped distract me after my bad practice, so I’m going to help ease his pain after dinner.” I lifted my glass to my lips.
“From that smile I think I know how.”
My throat spazzed as I swallowed, sending water down my windpipe. I went into a coughing fit that lasted well over a minute.
“You alright?” Mom asked. “I didn’t mean to make you choke.”
“I’m okay.”
I cleared my throat and beat on my chest. Mom and I had gone my entire teen and adult life without any awkward sex conversations. I wanted to keep it that way.
“In all seriousness, I think it’s wonderful how you and Josh are always there for each other. You make a great team.”
I took a tiny sip of water and swallowed slowly. “We just have to be our greatest for two-and-a-half minutes on Thursday and four minutes on Saturday. Then we’ll be able to show the whole world what an amazing team we are.”
****
WITH THE BRIGHT LIGHTS of TD Garden shining overhead, I shaded my eyes and peered into the small crowd scattered throughout the yellow seats. Spotting my parents, I crept closer to the ice door and waved my arms to get their attention. Mom caught my signal and nudged Dad’s shoulder. They both waved back and walked through the seats to where I stood in the corner of the rink.
“Hey, Dad.” I reached over the railing separating the stands from the tunnel.
He hugged me and then stood tall, straightening his tie. “You
hangin’ in, Kiddo?”
I smiled and tightened my ponytail. “Be glad you missed yesterday’s practice. I promise today will be different.”
“Better to work through the nerves now than during the competition.”
“That’s what I told her last night,” Mom said.
A loud boom came from the ice, and I jumped and saw one of my top competitors Roxanne sprawled against the boards. Her partner Evan helped her up, but she shook off his hands and glared at him. I hadn’t seen what had caused her fall, but my guess was the quadruple Salchow throw they’d been trying unsuccessfully all season.
“That sounded pretty bad,” Mom said.
“I remember when Em and Chris used to practice the quad,” I said. “Some of the falls Em took scared me to death.”
“I bet she never gave Chris a death stare like that,” Dad said.
I laughed. “No, but I wouldn’t expect any less from Roxanne.”
Evan had won a few national titles with another partner, but Roxanne acted like she was the more accomplished one. She and Evan had narrowly won the championship over us two years ago, and her obnoxious screams in the kiss and cry had given me extra motivation to beat them the following year.
“Hey, Mr. Carlton.” Josh emerged from backstage and shook Dad’s hand. He followed with a kiss on Mom’s cheek.
“Look, they’re trying it again.” Dad turned to the ice.
We all watched Evan fling Roxanne into the air. She spun four times but crashed on the landing, earning Evan another scowl.
“I don’t know why she’s mad at him. She’s not checking out for the landing quickly enough,” Josh said.
“Because she can do no wrong,” I said. “How dare you imply otherwise?”
“I see the rivalry between you is stronger than ever.” Dad chuckled.
“Every time Roxanne directs some veiled insult toward us, Em reminds me it’s good to have another team pushing us.” I tugged harder on my ponytail. “My question is why can’t they just let their skating speak for itself?”
“Someone had to take Stephanie’s place in getting under your skin.” Mom winked.
Josh looked up at the scoreboard. “This session’s almost over. We should finish warming up.”
My parents returned to their seats, and Josh and I resumed our stretching routine. I replayed all my successfully-executed jumps over and over in my head, not allowing myself to visualize any outcome except perfection.
The announcer gave the teams on the ice a “one minute remaining” notification, and I strode up to the boards, ready to go the moment our session began. When time expired, I ripped off my guards and skated along the boards to the front row where Em and Sergei sat.
“What the hell are Roxanne and Evan doing?” Sergei said.
I looked behind me. They were supposed to have taken their bows and exited with the other teams in their group, but they were just then making their way to center ice.
“That’s bush league,” Josh said as he took my hand.
We sped away from the boards and pumped our legs in unison, covering more ice with each push. Josh locked his grip around my wrist, and we moved into my favorite warm-up, side-by-side back crossovers. Roxanne and Evan were skating to the ice door, and we zoomed around them with added speed.
Our strokes took us past Em and Sergei, and as we rounded the corner, my right blade caught in the ice. Shock waves of panic bolted through me as I lost both Josh’s grip and my footing, and I flew backward. My back slammed into the boards, stealing my breath and stunning me with pain. I bounced off the wooden barrier and slid sideways, slowly coming to a stop. I stayed completely still and tried to catch my breath as my body recovered from the impact.
“Court!” Josh crouched over me. “Did you hit your head?”
I gingerly lifted myself from the ice and winced as I bent my spine. “No, just my back and shoulder.”
I’d somehow curled my chin toward my chest so my head wouldn’t hit the boards. After Josh’s concussion drama a few years ago, my body probably knew instinctively to protect itself from a head injury.
Josh carefully helped me to my feet, and we skated over to Em and Sergei. A burning sensation on my arm briefly took my attention away from the ache in my ribs and shoulder, and I found cuts and scrapes all along my forearm.
“Are you okay?” Sergei asked.
I nodded and picked up my water bottle, but my hand was shaking so badly that I had to set it right back down. The panic and fear I’d felt as I was sliding out of control were now exiting my body in the form of tremors.
Josh put his arm around my waist. “Take as long as you need.”
“Let me clean you up,” Em said as she dug in her purse.
She brushed my skin with alcohol and put a bandage on the largest cut. Meanwhile, my hand stopped trembling enough for me to sip my water. The fans sitting in the row behind Em and Sergei were watching us and also typing on their phones. Soon the whole world would know I’d wiped out in the first two minutes of our practice.
“Do you want to stay on the session?” Sergei asked. “We can have the doctor check you out now or wait until after.”
Pain was still radiating from my shoulder down my back, but it wasn’t as strong as before. Moving around and not thinking about it would probably help even more.
“I’m okay to stay.”
“If anything doesn’t feel right, let us know right away,” Em said.
Josh and I rejoined the skater traffic but at a much slower pace. I looked up into the seats where my parents were standing, watching me with concern, and I gave them a thumbs-up sign. Not far from them sat Mrs. Tucker, who held her hand to her head as if she was the one hurting.
We continued our warm-up, but my crossovers were hesitant, not powerful like they usually were. All I could think about was how my Olympic dream had almost ended with a fluke fall. If my head had hit the boards or if my arm had taken the brunt of the impact and had broken, I would be in an ambulance right now. Every step I took on the ice was a potential disaster waiting to happen.
My exterior shaking had ceased, but my insides were still quivering. As we ran through our Muse free skate, I landed every jump and throw on two feet or with a hand on the ice. I didn’t trust myself to attack the program. Josh kept encouraging me with “You got this” and “Free and easy,” but I couldn’t relax.
Sergei ushered me to the medical room backstage as soon as the forty-minute practice ended. The doctor confirmed I was just bruised, and he wrapped my back and shoulder with ice. I sat in a chair and tried to get comfortable with the three packs freezing me through my T-shirt.
Josh came in with fruit from the hospitality room, and he handed me a banana as he sat beside me. “To hold you over until we can get lunch.”
“Thanks.” I shifted to find a better position. “This ice is not nearly as fun as ours was yesterday.”
“Court!” Liza cried as she rushed into the room. “I read what happened on Twitter.”
Sergei’s nineteen-year-old daughter was one of my closest friends since she lived part-time with Em and Sergei and trained at our rink. As the three-time national champion and reigning world champion, she was the face of Team USA. Josh and I were under pressure to skate well, but it was nothing compared to the expectations on Liza’s petite shoulders.
“I thought your dad told you to stay off Twitter,” I said.
“I just took a little peek. Don’t tell him.” She lifted her finger to her lips. “So, you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I’m just gonna look like I’m in a fight club. The ice is supposed to help, but I know how badly I bruise.”
“I remember when you got hit with the volleyball at the beach last summer. Your arm was like Barney purple,” Liza said.
“Then your skin will match your dress tomorrow. No one will even notice.” Josh rubbed my arm.
I laughed a little. “I love your silver linings.”
“You better be careful from now on.” Liza’
s deep blue eyes crinkled with concern. “Don’t forget the Sochi Pact.”
“What’s the Sochi Pact?” Josh asked.
“That we’ll be roomies in the Village and compete in the team event,” I said.
The new figure skating team event had everyone excited because Team USA had a good chance to win a medal. If all the power players like Liza made it to Sochi, we would be strong in the men’s, ladies, and dance events. Pairs was the biggest question mark. Josh and I weren’t contenders for the podium in our individual competition, but if we were part of the team event I knew we could contribute solid points. It was something I’d tried not to think about too much — the possibility of winning an Olympic medal. I needed to stay focused on just making the team.
Liza’s phone beeped, and she glanced at the notification. “Kristin’s waiting for me upstairs. I came over here to meet with a sponsor.”
“Give her my apologies again for my mom’s unreasonable demands last night,” Josh said.
“My mom is a handful, but yours is in her own category.” Liza leaned over and gave me a gentle hug. “Take it easy. I’ll check in later.”
She hurried out as quickly as she’d come in, and I tore at the banana peel, careful not to mess up the manicure I’d gotten the previous afternoon.
“How do I get in on this pact?” Josh asked before he popped a grape into his mouth.
I patted his thigh. “You can’t be our roommate, Babe.”
“I can do everything else.”
I smiled. “You’re really already included because you’re my partner. Everything I do counts for both of us since we’re one entity.”
He gazed at me with the love I’d become so accustomed to seeing but never grew tired of witnessing. Taking my hand, he laced our fingers together and kissed my knuckles.
“We are,” he said. “An unstoppable, unbreakable entity.”
I rested my cheek against the back of the chair and stared into his eyes, seeking the confidence that had slipped away from me the past two days. An unstoppable entity, I repeated to myself, but my crappy practices continued to fuel my doubt.
Unstoppable, I reminded myself again.
Taking the Ice (Ice Series Book 3) Page 3
