by Starr, Bria
“I think my eyes are glued shut,” I say as I wipe away crusted remnants from crying.
“They’re just swollen. Want me to get you a warm washcloth?”
“Thanks, but no thanks. I’ll be fine.”
“The answer is obvious, but, I thought you were over him?”
“I was never over him. I was just trying to deal with it. I was trying to move on. My thoughts just always keep going back to him.”
“I want to rip his throat out, but not until I rip hers out.”
“Yeah, I know,” I say solemnly as a single tear slips through my barely parted eye. “But like I said, he can do what he wants. I’m not his anymore,” I say, wiping it away.
“Zach was so pissed. I thought he was going to jump across the table and kill him right there. Maybe if I had bought him just one more shot…”
“I didn’t notice. He’s a good friend to me. You both are.”
“I think Zach’s more than a friend, Wren.”
“More like a protective big brother?”
“A sexy big brother…”
I nod in agreement. “Zach is sexy. Did you know I saw him without his shirt on once?”
“You lucky bitch!” Cassidy screams as she throws a pillow at me.
“It was very…nice,” I say, smiling for the first time in twelve hours.
“I want details. Every last detail you can remember.” It was like it was yesterday as I go into full detail of finding him half naked in the moonlight.
“I’m so jealous. What I would give to see that man naked in my bed. Ahh! I’ll be imagining that later. So what should we do today?”
“Let me get showered, and maybe we can have a low-key reading day? I need a new book. Something different and funny. Any suggestions?”
“Yes, I have several new ones you can look through.”
*****
After several chapters, we take a break to make lunch.
“So, how are you? I realize I’ve been living in my own little world and haven’t asked how you’ve been doing lately.”
“Oh, you know. Same shit different day,” Cassidy says smiling.
“How about Eric? Or Jack? Have you been seeing them? Or someone new?”
“Sweetie, there is always someone new. I haven’t heard from Eric. Jack and I talk occasionally, but I’ve been keeping him at a distance.”
“Why would you keep him at a distance? I thought maybe you really liked him?”
“I do, actually. I just thought, maybe it might be hard for you to see him.”
“To see Jack? Why would I care? Besides the fact I think he’s a bit of a douchebag,” I say jokingly.
“Because he might make you think of Logan,” she says seriously.
“No, he doesn’t make me think of Logan, and I’m fine if you want to bring him around. Don’t keep him away on my account.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m positive, but thank you for putting my feelings before your sexual needs. I know that’s a big deal for you,” I tease.
“You’re funny!” she bellows with a mouthful of food. “But I don’t need to see him all the time. I’m sure he has somebody else he’s been seeing too.”
“Doesn’t that bother you?”
“It’s what we agreed on. Open relationship. No strings. It’s what I wanted.”
“Is that what you still want?”
“I like him more than I thought I would. He’s grown on me. I’d like to have more, but I don’t want to ruin what we do have going though. I get what I need from him.” She shrugs.
I consider the two of them actually being in a relationship together. That just seems like a disaster waiting to happen. But I also want her happiness. I think she has more feelings for Jack than she’s leading on.
*****
Since Cassidy is spending Wednesday with her sister, I decide to go to The Edge for a bit when I get off of work. I’m starving, and I didn’t get a chance to eat lunch with Zach today, and I’m a little lonely in the house all alone every night, so this gives me the opportunity to see Jen and Connor and have more than my lunch hour to spend with them.
I order my food and talk with Jen up at the bar while I wait.
“Well, well, well. What have we got here?” I don’t turn around since I don’t recognize the voice and assume someone is referring to Jen. Everyone knows her. The stool next to me is pulled out, as a Captain Coke is ordered. The look on Jen’s face tells me she doesn’t know who he is. I look over and see Aaron.
“What are you doing here?” I’m shocked to see him sitting next to me. I can’t imagine what he’d be doing here so early on a Wednesday evening.
“I’m playing tonight.”
“You are?”
“I just said I was.”
“Sorry. I’m just so surprised to see you.”
“Well, I would have let you know, had you ever called me.”
I lower my eyes. “Sorry. I’ve had some issues.”
“All women do, no offense. But we’re here now. I saw that they were looking to set up some acoustic shows and remembered you worked here, or used to, so I thought I’d book a few shows and hoped to run into you eventually.”
I blush and take a sip of my water. I look towards the kitchen, willing my food to arrive to distract me from what he just said.
“I’m meeting my brother here,” he continues. “He lives in town, so he said he’d come out and watch me play.”
“That’s nice of him.” Not knowing what else to say. I still can’t believe he’s sitting here next to me.
“I was hoping to get to talk to you last time I saw you at Echo, but you disappeared on me. I still haven’t gotten your number.”
“I suppose I could give you my number.” There’s no time like the present to move on.
My food arrives, and I dig in. He smiles as he watches me eat, sipping on his drink. We talk for a bit longer and when I’m about finished with my meal, he stands up and greets his brother, Dan. I know him from the bar, and I’m pretty sure he has dated Jen before. Something tells me it was just a fling, but the way they are talking to each other at the moment, it’s looking as if they might go for round two.
Aaron and Dan go overto set up for the show, and I can’t help but smile inside when his eyes wander back over to me.
“Quit eye-fucking him,” Jen says, noticing the exchange.
“Shh! He’s right over there, and I am so not doing anything of the sort!” I whisper harshly. “Besides, I could say the same thing to you. Don’t you have something to clean?”
“Brat.” She gives me a smirk and walks down to the other end of the bar. I go say hi to Connor, then make my way back to my stool.
Dan goes and sits at the other side of the bar where Jen is while Aaron heads over to the jukebox for a long while before coming back over to me. We talk some more until he smiles and stands up, holding his hand out to me just like he did the night of the after party. I take it, and he leads me to the jukebox.
“This is my favorite song,” he says as he spins me around and starts dancing slowly with me. He picks up the pace, randomly spinning me and bringing me down into a dip. I’m embarrassed at first, but I’m having fun by the end of the song.
We continue talking, and I find out how funny Aaron is. He comes across as uptight and all business, but he’s fun when he lets loose. That’s probably how Cassidy feels about me.
I decide to stay and watch him sing. It makes me wonder if every musician is able to play every instrument and sing on top of it. Damn. I love knowing all these talented people!
At the end of the night, Aaron and I exchange numbers.
He calls me as soon as he gets home, which is about an hour after I get home, and we spend several more hours talking.
We talk on the phone the next few nights, and he invites me over to his house to hang out. I don’t think I‘m quite ready for that step yet, but I go anyway, wondering if something will spark. I have a great time with him, and he
doesn’t try anything on me, yet again.
On the way home, I start thinking that maybe he’s the sort of guy you want to marry. It appears we’re both at that same point now. The ‘done with dating I’m looking to get married’ stage. There are only two problems. Maybe three.
First, his band just signed a contract, so he’ll be leaving to record and go on tour. I don’t know if that’s something I can deal with, or if I’d even want to.
Second, I wish my heart was free to give to him, but I have to get over a few things first before I can fully give myself to someone. Otherwise, it won’t be fair. A part of me wishes I had met him first. Before Logan.
And that’s what the third thing is. That feeling. That knowing feeling that he’s the one, but it’s just not there. Not the way it should be.
Chapter 11
Zach and I are enjoying our lunch when out of the blue, he asks, “You got anything going on this weekend?”
“I don’t think so. Why, what’s up?”
“You feel like going on a trip?”
“To where?” I’m extremely curious.
“There’s a group of us riding our bikes down to the SPAM Museum this weekend.”
“The SPAM Museum? Really? Where the hell is that at?”
He laughs. “In Austin, Minnesota. Haven’t you heard of it before?”
“Nope. I don’t even like SPAM.” I shudder at the thought.
“Who doesn’t like SPAM?”
“This girl. I remember being forced to eat it growing up, but never caring for it.”
“I love it. I could eat it every day.”
“What a conversation we’re having, Zachary.” Who knew my afternoon would consist of discussing mystery meat. “Will I know anyone else going?”
“I think there will be a few. You know Donny and Kay, right? I think they’re going to be there too.” As he names off a few more regulars, he mentions Logan.
“Logan is going?”
“Yeah, last I knew. Basically, anyone who has a bike was invited.”
Suddenly,knowing Logan is going to be there, I’m more interested in going. Even though he’s still an ass. “Oh. Okay. When is everyone planning on leaving?”
“We’re all meeting here Saturday morning, then taking off together.”
“When would we be coming back?”
“Some time on Sunday.”
“We’re spending the night?”
“It’s a six hour ride just to get there. Everyone is getting a hotel.”
“So…would we be sharing a room?”
“I’ll get one with two beds,” he says and chuckles.
I can share a hotel room with Zach. It might be a little awkward, but it’ll be fine. Now that I’ve reassured myself, I decide to accept his invitation. It makes me wonder what Logan will think of me and Zach in a hotel room together. Will he be jealous? Will he even care? Does it even matter?
“I think that sounds fun, Zachary. Thank you for inviting me.”
“It’s my pleasure,” he says, smiling as he takes another sip of his soda.
*****
“You’re going where?” Cassidy exclaims.
“To the SPAM Museum with Zachary.”
“You get to ride on the back of Zach’s bike, holding onto him for six solid hours, sleep in the same room with him, and then hold onto him with your legs wrapped around him for six more hours?”
“I wouldn’t put it exactly in those words, but yes. I’ll also get to experience a part of history and see how everything works.”
“That’s not why you’re going.”
“Then why am I?”
“I’m not sure yet, but something tells me you have an ulterior motive.”
Damn, she’s good. But I want to go. With or without Logan being present.
I ignore her statement and go upstairs. I grab just a small bag and fill it with a pair of jeans, t-shirt, long sleeved shirt, socks and panties. That should do it for one night. I second guess what to wear to sleep in, and settle on sweatpants and an old t-shirt. My bathroom is a mess as I dig around for my sunscreen, a few extra ponytail holders, and a brush and toss them inside of my bag. I find my sunglasses and set them on top so they’re not forgotten.
I’m excited and wide awake as I crawl into bed and wait for morning.
*****
There are about ten bikes parked outside of The Edge as I pull up. I spot Zach, and I walk towards him and his Harley. I casually look around, but I don’t see Logan anywhere. Zach bends down, putting my bag into one of the side saddles. Without looking up at me, he says, “He’s not coming.”
Not thinking I heard him correctly, I ask, “What?”
“If you’re looking for Logan, he’s not coming.” He buckles the straps.
“Oh.”
He looks a little distressed but doesn’t say anything more. He obviously knows I was looking for him.
“Where’s Kay?”
Standing up, he looks down at me. “They’re not here yet. We’re still waiting for ten more bikes to show up. Did you eat?”
“I did, thanks.”
“I was going to tell you to grab something to eat because it’s a long ride, but we’ll stop halfway and grab something quick if you get hungry.”
“Sounds good to me.”
I hear loud pipes, and turn to see about fifteen more bikes enter in two straight lines. Zach and the other bikers get on their bikes and start them up. Zach looks at me and gives me a nod to say he’s ready for me to get on. He grabs a hold of my arm as I reach for his shoulder and step on the foot peg, bouncing up to get my leg over the bike. I’m grateful for the backrest and cushiony seat because I know my ass is going to be numb in a few short hours. I put my sunglasses on and place my arms around Zach’s waist. Logan had taken me for a few bike rides, and I never thought twice about sliding my arms around him, or about my knees snug against his thighs. But with Zach, I try to open my legs just a bit more so that I’m not wrapped around him.
Donny and Kay are one of the last ones to show up, but as we pull out, they’re right next to us. Kay waves at me and I wave back, noticing her ass is almost off the back of her seat. She doesn’t look near as comfortable as I am. I feel my ponytail shoot out as we take off.
I’m sad Logan isn’t coming along. A part of me was hoping to see him, but I’m not going to let it ruin my fun. This is going to be a good day.
Four hours later, we pull into a gas station. Zach fills the tank, and I walk around and stretch my legs. We go inside to grab some snacks, and I opt for a turkey sandwich and some dill pickle chips. Zach gets a piece of pizza and a hot dog. The gas station quickly fills up with the twenty-five motorcycles and close to forty extra occupants, so we pay for our stuff and quickly exit. We scarf down our food and wait until everyone is ready to head back out.
After the one stop, we finally get to the SPAM museum and park in the back of the lot. After some much needed stretching, we meet up with Kay, then walk up to the large brick building with the glass windows and the huge blue and yellow SPAM logo at the top. I feel like a child as I walk through the doors and enter this world of meat.
We spend hours there, looking at all random stuff they have everywhere. I can’t believe they don’t charge you anything to come here. They have a mock assembly line where you can try your hand at canning. They have a wall with a giant picture of SPAM on it with a doorway going through it. If you look up you will see the biggest bun, tomatoes, and slice of cheese you’ve ever seen, hanging from the ceiling. Thousands of cans are stacked on top of each other, towering to the ceiling, and who knew there were so many different kinds of spiced pork artifacts—a fancier way of saying mystery meat.
After we take turns putting on white lab coats and getting our pictures taken, we spend some time in the gift shop. You can get the craziest souvenirs I’ve ever seen. Beverage koozies, mugs, tennis balls, t-shirts, and even glow in the dark boxer shorts. All with the SPAM logo on them. I watch Zach purchase a pair of the box
ers.
“I got you something,” he says to me.
“I hope it’s not a pair of those boxers,” I tease. He holds up a key chain with a big picture of SPAM on it.
I laugh. “That was so nice of you.” I look at it and laugh again.
“So you can remember the best day of your life,” he jokes.
“Um, yeah. Or close to it.”
“We’re heading to a sports bar to eat. It’s right by the hotel, so I think everyone will be hanging out there for the remainder of the night to drink. They’re supposed to have a band tonight, and I’ve heard they have great food.”
“Perfect.”
We get to the hotel and park the bike. We check in and bring our stuff to our room. I grab my brush and try to brush out the rat’s nest that’s accumulated on the top of my head from the windy ride. I can’t believe I looked like this the whole time I was at the museum. Zach patiently waits as I touch up my makeup. We exit and walk across the street to the bar. When we enter, Zach goes up to the bar to get a beer, and I sit at a table in the near empty room. I immediately feel out of place, and keep glancing to the opening door, hoping Kay will walk in any second, but it turns out to be people I don’t know. Zach comes back and sits at my table with me.
“You okay?” he asks.
“I’m fine. I had a fun day today.”
“Me too. Tonight will be fun as well.”
A group of four guys come over and join us at our table. Zach introduces me, but I’ll never remember their names. I smile politely and shake their hands. Kay magically appears and sits next me to as Donny falls into the ongoing discussion of newer models of motorcycles and their features while Kay and I try to come up with something in common to talk about. I’m grateful for the familiar face, even though we’ve never spoken more than a few words to each other.
After my belly is full of delicious steak and potatoes, the band starts setting up, and I realize I recognize them from somewhere; probably a night out with Cassidy. Zach ends up having to make a few rounds to say hello to everyone. I stay in my seat and notice he never wanders too far away and always has his eyes on me. I turn to meet his smiling gaze every time, making sure I’m okay. He feels so much like a protective big brother sometimes.
