by Starr, Bria
Once the music gets going, I watch all these big biker guys out on the floor dancing horribly. It’s great, and easily the best entertainment. Almost everyone is completely wasted by this point. I’ve seen so many shots and drinks downed tonight...these people don’t mess around. They’re here to party.
I notice Zach isn’t his normal straight laced self either. Could he be…drunk? I’ve never actually seen Zach drunk before. I’ve seen him drink his fair share of alcohol, but he always stops before he gets to that point. I sit back and smile to myself as I see him more happy and carefree than I ever have before. Kay and I continue making small talk while the band plays until Zach comes over and grabs my hand.
“What are you doing?” I ask him.
“I’m dancing with you,” he replies.
“No, no, no. I really don’t dance. You know that!”
He has the biggest grin on his face as he picks me up, throws me over his shoulder, and carries me to the dance floor. He slowly lets me down, my body brushing against his. He looks at me, his eyes full of glee and a hint of lust. He wraps his arms lovingly around my back, and I’m held against his chest as he slowly dances with me. Drunk Zach is the most adorable thing I’ve ever encountered. He looks like a happy child when he drinks. I feel a little weird being this close to him, but how can I refuse those puppy dog eyes?
I place my head against his chest and sway with him until the song is over. I step away from him. “Thank you for the dance, Zachary.”
I grin and start to walk back to my seat when he grabs my hand and spins me around. I twirl right back into him as he grabs me and starts dancing faster than before. I have to admit, he’s got moves. Drunk Zach can dance! I laugh so hard I have tears coming out of my eyes and try to follow his lead, moving my feet the way he does. I don’t even attempt the high kicks he can pull off. Kay and Donny join us on the crowded dance floor, and we all dance the night away until we hear last call.
Zach sits at a table with a glass of water. I’m glad there are guys bigger than him here in case someone needs to carry him back to the room. He gains his composure, pays his tab, and we start to scatter outside.
When we get into the hotel, Kay and Donny walk us to our door, and to my surprise, come in with us.
“I gotta take a leak,” Zach calls out as he stumbles to the bathroom.
I notice a few items on one of the beds that I don’t recognize. I turn to Kay. “Is this yours?” I ask, pointing to the stuff on the bed.
“Yeah. We didn’t book a room in time, so Zach said we could share yours.”
It hits me. Zach and I are sharing a bed. There is no way Kay is going to share one with me while Zach and Donny sleep in one together.
Crap.
I wait for Zach to get out, then walk in with my pajamas. I wash my face from the day’s events, and take a deep breath before opening the bathroom door. Zach is stripped down to his boxers, and lying in our bed. Crap!
I put my dirty clothes inside my bag and slowly make the short walk towards Zach. He smiles at me and pulls my side of the covers back for me. My heart is pounding, and my nerves are forcing me to break out in a small sweat as I climb in the queen sized bed. Maybe it’s a good thing Kay and Donny are sleeping in the same room as us. Not that I’m excited to sleep right next to Zach, but he is pretty drunk and it might be weirder if it were just the two us. Not that he’d ever try anything on me. I don’t think…
I can smell Zach’s cologne mixed with alcohol. His huge body takes up most of the bed as I try to remain on my side as close to the edge as possible. I’ve only shared a bed with two different men, and I cared very deeply for both of them. I don’t know why there’s this anxiety about sleeping next to Zach. It’s Zachary, one of my best friends, but this feels…off. Different.
I take a deep breath and lie back against the pillows. Donny and Kay get settled next to us and turn on the TV. It’s close to three in the morning, and after such a long ride and such a long day, I just want to go to sleep. I wish I knew what Zach was thinking right now.
I turn to my side, and my foot touches Zach’s leg. I quickly jerk it away, pretending nothing happened.
“You can play footsie with me. I don’t mind,” Zach says. Thanks for saying that loud enough for everyone to hear, buddy.
“Nope, I’m good.”
I hear Kay giggle as my embarrassment increases. I sink deeper into the mattress and try to fall asleep.
*****
I wake to the sound of muffled voices. It takes me a second before I realize it’s Donny and Kay. I feel the weight of Zach’s large arm across my back. I want to roll over, but I have this fear he’ll be touching my chest if I do, so I lay there, hoping he’ll wake up and move over. It appears Kay and Donny are under the covers and after several seconds of figuring out where that was going, I decide to slide out from under his arm and onto the floor. I’m not the most graceful person, but I manage to do it. I grab my bag and head into the bathroom to get ready. I don’t want to shower since I have a long ride home, I just want to get dressed and out of this hotel room before I have to witness something that I don’t want to see. I quickly redo my ponytail and reapply my makeup. Good as new.
I walk back out into the bedroom and see movement underneath the covers on the other side. Gross. Zach is still passed out in our bed, so with my bag in hand, I quietly leave the room. I walk down the hall and into the lobby where I can smell bacon, so I follow the scent into a small area serving a complimentary continental breakfast. Jackpot.
I load up my plate and grab some orange juice, taking my time as I devour my food. I don’t want to go back to that room before they’re finished…doing whatever.
I pull out my phone and text Cassidy as I eat, giving her all the details she’s demanding from the night before. When I’m almost finished, a very groggy looking Zach comes stomping in.
“Morning, sunshine,” I call out, signaling to him where I am. He smiles and comes over. He’s dressed in a clean t-shirt and jeans, and his breath smells like toothpaste. “Go get some food. I’ll wait here for you.”
He nods and walks off. He comes back with a plate twice the size of mine.
“I thought most people didn’t eat a whole lot the morning after they were drinking?”
“I’m not most people.”
“Touché. Obviously, I wouldn’t know. I just hear things. How are you feeling this morning?”
“I feel like shit.”
“But you had so much fun last night. I’ll bet it was worth it.”
“I remember having fun, but I don’t remember what was so fun.”
“Maybe it was all that dancing?”
He looks confused. “Dancing? Who? Me?”
“Yes, you. I’ve never seen you so…happy.”
“Fuck. I hope you’re joking.”
“I’m not. You pulled out moves I’ve never seen before. I thought you were going to have a dance off with Big Earl.”
He drops his head. “Fuck.”
“Zachary, it was hilarious. Nothing to be embarrassed about. Except…”
His eyes widen. “Except what?”
“I’m kidding. Nothing. You were fine. Fun, actually.”
“You don’t think I’m normally fun?”
“No, I do. I just think you’re so serious most of the time. It was nice to see you let loose.”
“Well, I’ll keep that in mind,” he says as he throws an entire piece of bacon in his mouth. “You about ready?”
“To go? Half the people aren’t even up yet.”
“Some are staying for the day.”
“Oh. How about Kay and Donny?”
“I’m thinking they’ll be one of the ones staying…”
“Yeah, I hear you on that one. Well, I have my bag with me.”
“I double checked the room and bathroom before I left and didn’t see anything that was yours. You wanna take off?”
“Sure,” I say, gathering my things, putting my phone in my bag, and getti
ng my sunglasses out.
Zach throws his last piece of bacon in his mouth and tosses his plate. We walk out into the sunlight and over to his bike. He starts it, helps me on, and we start the long trip home.
*****
When we finally get to The Edge, he pulls up next to my car. After helping me off, he kicks out the stand and gets off too. He removes my bag for me, then buckles the saddlebag back up.
“Thank you for inviting me this weekend. Sorry you were so hungover this morning. I get out my keys, noticing the new addition of the SPAM key chain he had gotten for me. “And thank you for the gift.”
“It was my pleasure. I wish I could remember more of last night. Next time I won’t get so drunk.”
Next time? “You were fine.” After he refuses my offering of money towards gas and the hotel room, he reaches for me, pulling me into a hug. I return it and thank him, again, for everything.
As I get into my car and head home, I’m confused about my feelings for Zach. I don’t feel like I like him, but then why all the nerves? I don’t even want to tell Cassidy those small details in case she makes it into something it’s not.
Because it’s not.
Chapter 12
The following Saturday, as I’m reading and drinking some tea at the kitchen table, I hear a knock and open the door to see Jack standing on my porch. I cringe at the thought of what he’s here for… I forgot how much I don’t like him. “Long time no see, Jack.”
“Hello, Wren. Can I come in?”
“I guess. Cassidy should be right down.”
Cassidy flies down the stairs. “Jack!” She runs over to him and starts making out with him like I’m not even there. I guess I don’t have much of a reason for hating on him all the time, but he comes across as an arrogant jerk who thinks he can get any woman he wants. I mean, he’s good-looking, but he’s not that good-looking. I was upset for a while about him telling Cassidy that Logan was using me until his ex-girlfriend moved back from Texas, but that’s over with. At this point, it doesn’t matter, even if it were the truth.
I wasn’t planning on going anywhere tonight, but I definitely wanted out of this house at the moment. I make an excuse to leave. “I’m heading out. I have the grocery list. Any last minute decisions?” I call to Cassidy.
“I don’t need anything, but thanks,” she says as she leads Jack up the stairs.
*****
Once I’m at the grocery store, I grab a cart and pull out my list. Starting in produce, I get a few things and head towards the bakery before eventually working my way through most of the store. I’m searching through the spices when I feel as if someone is watching me. I look up to see familiar blue eyes staring into mine. How long had he been looking at me without my knowledge? I hope I wasn’t making any weird faces while I was trying to find my items.
“Hey you.”
It’s been almost a month since Holly rubbed her vagina all over Logan right in front of me. I still can’t get the mental image out of my brain. It is permanently scarred into my memory. I never want to go through something like that again.
“Hi, uh, Logan. What brings you to Elmwood? Don’t you have a much bigger store in Westmont?”
“Yeah, but Jack and I were shooting some pool at The Edge with some friends, so I thought I’d pick up a few things on my way home.”
“Oh, cool.”
I’ve forgiven his obliviousness to what he’s put me through as part of my moving on process. With Alec, it was a new car. With Logan, it’s forgiving him and trying to forget what an idiot he is. I haven’t had all that much experience with relationships. Everyone around me seems to date so many people, and they all manage to stay friends. I want that. I want to be able to see Logan and be his friend. We agreed we would, and I can’t hate him for moving on. Not that I’m really moving on myself. I don’t want anyone else. I know that might make me sound weak after what I’ve been through with him. I’ve been trying, but I keep getting sucked back into my old feelings whenever I see him.
I’m trying to be strong, but it’s hard sometimes. Especially when it seems like he’s always there. Right in front of me. Like at this very moment.
“So what are you doing today? Want to come over and watch a movie or something?”
I wasn’t expecting that.
What I wouldn’t give to spend one more day with him. It’s so hard to say no when I have the opportunity to spend some time with him, but I have to remind myself that I’m just a filler; a temporary female in his life. He doesn’t want me like that.
“Uh, thanks, but I can’t. I have some cleaning to do and a shit-ton of laundry.”
“You’d rather clean than watch a movie with me?”
Sometimes, yes. “It hasn’t been done in a while. Plus, I have all these groceries,” I add, motioning to my cart.
“Then bring them home and come over. It’s been forever since I’ve seen you, or since we’ve hung out.”
Your choice, not mine. I hesitate. It’s so tempting.
“Nah, I better get home. Thanks, though.”
He looks discouraged. “Are you sure? Is there anything I can say to persuade you?” he says with one of his half smiles. “I’ll get ice cream? Any kind you want.”
I haven’t seen one of those smiles in so long. I can’t help but smile at his ability to try and coerce me.
“You’re insufferable,” I say, shaking my head.
“I’ve been called worse,” he says with a cocky grin. “What kind of ice cream do you want?”
I give in. “Cake Batter, or no deal.”
“Oh, I’ll find some,” he says with a smirk. “See you later, Wren.” He walks off.
What did I just do?
I’ve sold my soul for some ice cream. I bow my head in shame, but I can’t keep my lips from curving upward as I beam with excitement.
*****
After I put all the groceries away, I run up to my room for my phone; I’d forgotten it on the charger in my haste to make an exit while Cassidy was mauling Jack right in front of me. I have two missed calls from Alec. He has been calling me more and more lately, I wish he’d just go away. I delete the voicemails and go about trying to find something to wear. After fifteen minutes of throwing clothes every which way on my floor, I decide it’s best to go as I already am. If I change, he may notice. If I shower and put more makeup on, he may notice. No, he’s a guy, so he probably won’t. I touch up my makeup ever so slightly and add some diffuser to my curls before grabbing my purse.
I start to feel nauseous on the drive to Logan’s. I can’t help but remember the last time I drove here as I pull in his driveway next to his truck. I take a deep breath before knocking. Logan’s smiling face is the first thing I see as he opens the door. Welcoming me inside, I walk into the kitchen and stand there awkwardly, trying to think of something to say that doesn’t sound lame.
“Did you get my ice cream?”
“I did. Cake Batter. I also got Almond Hershey Kisses and some cookies. Chocolate chip is your favorite if I remember correctly.”
“Yeah. I’d eat any kind of cookies, but those are my favorite. Thanks.” I’m happy he remembered.
“Come on. Let’s go pick out some movies.”
I quietly follow him into the gigantic living room and look at his wall displaying what has to be well over a thousand DVDs. “What are you in the mood to watch?”
“I’m not sure. How about I pull ten out. You take one out you don’t want and put it back, then I’ll take another one out until we have it narrowed down to one. How does that sound?”
“Perfect,” he says.
I start with the A’s and look through each one until I get to the Z’s, making my ten selections as I go. When we finally settle on an action flick, he heads to the kitchen as I sit on the couch nervously. I keep wondering if I’ve made a mistake coming here. A small part of me is hoping he has realized that he made a mistake and wants to be with me, but I know it’s a long shot.
He comes
back with two bowls heaped with ice cream. He hands me mine as he sits next to me on the couch and pushes play. We sit there eating our ice cream and watching the movie as if we’re a normal couple in a committed relationship. Except we’re not.
“Want to watch another one?”
I look at the time. “Sure, I’ve got time for one more,” I say as I reach for the cookies and chocolate. I lean back into the couch, and he turns and settles in closer to me. I start to wonder if he plans on cuddling with me; I could go for some cuddling right now. But he doesn’t come any closer.
After we watch the second movie, I notice it is pitch black outside, time for me to head home. I rise and grab our bowls to bring to the sink, rinsing them out. I feel like I’ve possibly overstayed my welcome after being here a little over five hours and start to reach for my purse when he asks, “You’re leaving?”
“Yeah. It’s late. Thank you so much for the ice cream and cookies and candy. I had fun.” It was fun. I’d missed him.
“Don’t go. Stay with me tonight.”
My head pulls back in surprise as I look at him. I don’t even know how to respond to that. He’s caught me off guard for the second time today.
“We’ll only cuddle, I promise,” he says, giving me a smoldering look.
What I would give to spend one more night with this man. “I should really be going, Logan. Thank you for inviting me over today.”
He doesn’t push. “You’re welcome. But hey, if you change your mind, you know where to find me,” he says, giving me a long, tight hug.
It feels like home in his arms. I look up at him, wanting so badly to take back what I had just said and stay. It’s what I’ve been waiting for, and I finally have my chance. I’m torn. Before I do anything stupid, I reach for the door handle and give him one last goodbye. I mentally kick my ass the entire way to my car. As I pull out of the driveway, I can see him standing there in the doorway. I let out a few short breaths as I start my thirty minute drive home. Bewilderment passes through me when I realize I just spent the day at Logan’s. I feel so giddy inside I could scream of excitement.
*****
