Rushing In (The Blackhawk Boys #2)

by Lexi Ryan

  “What’s wrong, Grace?” Chris asks.

  “I have to get back to work,” I lie. I don’t need to be there again at all today unless Mr. G summons me. “Can’t do lunch.”

  “Okay.”

  I dump some cream and sugar into my coffee and push out the door only to find Chris on my heels. He closes the door behind me and grabs one of my wrists, then the other. He tugs me back to him.

  “I’ll let you go, I just . . .” He cocks his head and studies my face. “What’s wrong? Is this about this weekend? Please don’t freak out.” He cups my jaw. “We can slow down. Back off. Whatever you need.”

  No. It’s not about what we did this weekend. It’s not about how special he made me feel or how sweet he was when he touched me. “I’m just in a bad mood,” I say, stepping back. “Why would you assume it’s about sex? I’m not some fragile girl who’s just lost her innocence and is going to cling to you now.” I’m not Olivia.

  He frowns, still studying my face like there might be answers there, and I do everything I can to make sure he finds none.

  I feel terrible. My words are ugly and it’s all because I’m scared of how he’ll feel about me when he sees me for who I am. “I’ve gotta go.”

  He releases me. “Okay. Have a good day and call me when you get off, all right?”

  “I have plans,” I say. “I’ll text you or something.”

  I turn on my heel and leave. I’m running and I hate myself for it, but I have no idea what the alternative is.

  * * *

  Chris

  I watch her walk away and have no fucking idea what I did. It’s not like she’s always warm and fuzzy, but things have been different between us. She’s softened in my arms. And I liked seeing that side of her—vulnerable and open. I liked having a minute when it felt like she wasn’t throwing up a bunch of bullshit to keep the world from finding out who she is. Or maybe I only wanted to believe she was letting me see the real Grace.

  When I go back into the apartment, Mason gives me a hard look and nods toward Isaac. “Maybe you two should talk?” he says, and then he excuses himself to the bathroom. Seconds later, the shower kicks on.

  Isaac leans back on the couch, his dark eyes steadied on me, and I take a seat in the chair. “What’s going on?”

  And then it clicks. When Grace’s mood changed, when that softness left her face, it was when she saw him. He’s part of Dad’s staff, a recent athletic training graduate who interned with Dad and will make the move to BHU. The guy always rubbed me the wrong way, but we played ball together for a few years in Champagne, and when he invited himself over today I didn’t feel like I could say no. I would have found a way if I’d realized how much him being here would upset Grace.

  Shit.

  “How well do you and Grace know each other?” I ask. I don’t want the hardness to be in my voice, but there it is, showing my irritation, making me sound like some jealous boyfriend who can’t handle the idea of his woman having ever slept with another guy.

  “You really don’t remember her from high school?” Isaac asks.

  “No. But obviously you do.”

  “She’s hard to forget.” He holds up his hands. “Sorry. You probably don’t want to hear that if you two are, like, together now.” He pauses a beat and cocks his head to the side. “Are you? Together, I mean?”

  I don’t know what we are, but I certainly don’t want to get into it with this guy. “Does it matter?”

  He laughs and stands, sweeping a hand through his dark hair. “Interesting. It’s not that difficult of a question. But I guess that’s the way she is, isn’t it?”

  My gut churns, but I don’t let myself reply. I hate the idea that this asshole might actually know Grace better than I do.

  “Coach is going to watch the team practice tonight. Don’t be late. If negotiations go well and he signs, nobody can take their position for granted.”

  I set my jaw and hear it crack. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  He lifts his palms. “I’m just trying to be a good friend.”

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Chris

  My father watched the team practice tonight, just as Isaac said he would, and I swear I could feel his eyes on me the whole time—evaluating, judging, calculating. The idea of him being anywhere near my team, let alone in charge of it, makes me want to throat-punch every member of the administration who’s working so hard to woo him to Blackhawk Valley. It didn’t help that my heart wasn’t in it and I kept screwing up plays. Sebastian was inexplicably missing, leaving me with a sophomore idiot at running back who couldn’t remember when to block and when to take a shuffle pass.

  When I get to the locker room, the indicator light on my phone is blinking, and I reach for it, hoping for a message from Grace.

  Before I can read it, someone grabs me by the shoulders and spins me around. I see Sebastian’s face for a split second before he throws me against the lockers and swings. His fist meets my jaw with a crack that sends pain reverberating through my face and all the way down my neck.

  “Whoa!” Keegan wraps his arms around Sebastian’s chest and pulls him back. “What the fuck?”

  Sebastian’s dark eyes blaze, his nostrils flare, and anger rolls off him like heat off a bonfire. “I thought you were better than that. I fucking trusted you.”

  My hand goes to my jaw. Son of a bitch.

  Keegan meets my eyes over Sebastian’s shoulder, and it clicks. This is about Olivia.

  I swallow hard and stand up straight as I rub my sore jaw. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but she didn’t want me to.”

  Sebastian charges for me again and makes it a few steps before Mason helps Keegan pull him back. “She’s my sister.”

  “I know,” I mutter. “I’m sorry.” Behind the guys, I see the locker room door open, and my dad meets my eyes before leaving. What the hell was he doing in here?

  “Are you? Are you sorry enough to do the right thing now?” He lunges for me again but doesn’t get far with the guys holding him.

  “It’s over, Sebastian. It’s been over for weeks.”

  “Yeah, I knew some asshole hurt her. She’s been moping around with a broken heart and refused to tell me who hurt her. I thought you were supposed to be a good guy, Montgomery.”

  Keegan’s blue eyes are locked on mine. He’s waiting for me to throw him under the bus, but I won’t do it. Sebastian will only be pissed at us both, and it will tear the fucking team apart. It won’t help anything, and now that I have Grace, I’m glad Keegan did what he did. Olivia and I were never going anywhere. Her insistence on secrecy aside, we didn’t have the connection I once thought.

  “You have every right to be mad at me, but I swear to you it’s over.” I don’t have the patience for this shit tonight. Sebastian’s reaction is unnecessarily dramatic for something that ended almost three weeks ago and was never much of anything to begin with. I turn to my locker and throw my gear into my bag.

  “It’s not over,” Sebastian says behind me. His voice is softer now, some of his anger gone. “Not if she’s pregnant.”

  * * *

  Grace

  I stare into my lukewarm latte, searching for answers in the foam that I know I won’t find. I don’t want to go back to Chris’s apartment. It’s not that I thought he’d never find out or that he’d be happy about who I am. Honestly, I didn’t let myself think about it at all. I was enjoying being his Grace.

  I can’t stop imagining the look on his face when he finds out. Will he turn pale? Will disgust make him run for the bathroom? Maybe he’ll shudder, knowing he touched someone as used and vile as me.

  So here I am, hanging out in a coffee shop with a cup of coffee I won’t drink, avoiding my bed, my room, and my roommates.

  My stomach is a clenched fist, free falling and lurching into my throat all at once. My phone started buzzing a few minutes after I left and hasn’t stopped since. He’s texted five times to ask if everything is okay.

&nbs
p; I can’t do it. I can’t face the fact that it’s time to tell him the truth. I want to remember the way he looked at me this morning, the softness in his eyes. I want to remember the way he held me in his arms last night and whispered in my ear. How could he look at me the same way after learning the truth? I’m such a coward.

  I feel so helpless that I want to scream. It’s like when the villain in the movies sets a bomb and you know at any second everything’s going to be blown to bits. Isaac’s arrival is going to destroy the little life I’ve made here in Blackhawk Valley, and instead of figuring out how to cut the wire at the last minute, I want to run.

  “Grace?”

  I look up and see Olivia standing in front of my table. Her eyes are red-rimmed and puffy. “Hey.”

  She gestures to the seat across from me. “Mind if I sit here?”

  “Knock yourself out.” I don’t want to be rude, but in this moment, Olivia is the last person I want to see. Isaac’s presence has forced me to look in the mirror and acknowledge who I am. Since I know that person isn’t good enough for Chris, it’s hard to sit across from someone who threw away her chance with him for nothing.

  “Are you gonna drink that coffee or stare at it all night long?” she asks.

  “I’m actually enjoying staring,” I admit. I can’t look her in the eye, so I study my coffee instead. “It’s short a couple of shots of Baileys Irish Cream.”

  “I didn’t cheat on Chris.”

  I lift my head. “What?” Why is she telling me this?

  She sniffles and shakes her head. “Oh my God, it was so stupid. Keegan kissed me. I let him, but I didn’t sleep with Keegan while I was with Chris.” She shakes her head. “I wish I could go back, but I can’t, and now . . .” She shifts her gaze from side to side before bringing it back to me. “Sebastian says now Chris is with you. Is that true?”

  I squeeze my eyes shut. I don’t know how much longer we’ll be together. My omissions hang over me like a rumbling storm cloud.

  “It’s not my business. I know it’s not. I lost him.” She draws in a ragged breath. “And now he’s with you while I . . . I haven’t had my period in seven weeks.”

  I clutch my coffee and draw it against my chest as if its heat could save me from what she’s saying. Mentally, I calculate the timeline. Seven weeks ago, Chris was still with Olivia. And they were five weeks ago too, which means that two weeks after her last period, they were still sleeping together. Mathematically speaking, if she’s pregnant, it could be his.

  “Everyone loves you.” Tears roll down her pink cheeks. “They’re not going to love me when this comes out. I’m going to tell Chris tonight because I know he’ll want to know. Would you tell the girls that I told you first? I don’t want them to hate me.”

  My words are clutched in a vise at the base of my throat, so I can only nod and watch as she stands from the table and leaves.

  When I’m alone again, my mind races through the implications of what I just learned. Chris’s goodness, his insistence on always doing the right thing, his disappointing past with his absent father. His world is about to be turned upside down, and all I can do is make sure I don’t add to the wreckage.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Grace

  The Gossamer Inn isn’t just the nicest hotel in town—it’s the only decent hotel within walking distance of the university. It doesn’t take a genius to guess this is where Colt and his staff are staying while they’re in negotiations with BHU administration.

  When I step into the lobby, I go straight to the reception desk. I smile at the petite blonde behind the counter. “I’m here to see Isaac Owens. Could you call him and ask him to come down?”

  She arches a brow, and her gaze drifts to my bare shoulders. She takes in my tattoos before she picks up the phone. “Your name?”

  “Grace Lee.” I grip the edge of the desk. I’m not going to turn around. I’m not going to let my fear of facing the past rule me.

  She puts the phone to her ear and dials. “Mr. Owens? This is the front desk. There’s a Grace Lee here to see you.” She smirks at me. “Okay. I’ll send her up.” She hangs up and points down the hall toward the elevators. “Third floor, room 308.”

  I freeze. I’d envisioned having this conversation in the lobby.

  “Is there a problem?” she asks.

  I know Isaac really well. Not only did we grow up next door to each other, and I spent a lot of time in his bed when I was young, but I also have a history of really bad judgment where he’s concerned.

  You’re not that girl anymore.

  “No problem.” I turn to the elevator and jab the button to go upstairs before I can lose my nerve. I have to think about Chris.

  When I step off the elevator, Isaac’s standing with his door open, and my squeezing, lurching stomach turns sour. I’ve been so naïve. By relocating across the country, Dad didn’t save me from my past. He only removed me from it. And I couldn’t run from it by coming here this summer. It might not be who I am now, but it’s part of what made me who I am.

  “Hey, Isaac.”

  “Gee-Gee.” He rakes his gaze over my pink dress, making me wish I’d changed into something less flashy.

  “It’s Grace.”

  “Right. You’re sophisticated now. A sophisticated name to go with your sophisticated football player boyfriend.” He grins. It’s a good-looking grin on a good-looking guy—nothing compared to Chris, of course, but he’s still the cute boy from next door I always wanted to impress, the one all the girls at school thought was so charming. This is a guy who’s known me forever. He doesn’t look at me and have any illusions about who I am. “Damn, you’re a sight for sore eyes. Your hair looks great that color. I liked you as a redhead, too, but the black is nice.”

  I ignore the compliment. Isaac has a way of leaving a trail of compliments that lead right down a rabbit hole, and I’m not making that mistake again. “We need to talk.”

  He arches a brow and folds his arms, leaning against the doorjamb. “I thought that’s what we were doing?”

  “No. I want to talk about Chris, and about . . .” I wave a hand between our bodies. “About our past.”

  He motions into his room. “After you.”

  I straighten my spine and step into the room, setting my purse down on the table by the door.

  Behind me, I hear a male voice in the hallway. “You staying in tonight, Owens?”

  “Oh yeah,” Isaac says. “An old friend came to visit. I’ll see you in the morning.” He steps into the room, letting the door swing shut behind him.

  The hotel room is a decent size—a suite with a couch and a big-screen TV. There’s a kitchenette and a tiny refrigerator, and Isaac kneels in front of it as he mixes drinks into two glasses.

  “I won’t stay long,” I say when he hands me a tumbler of brown liquid. “I’m not here to drink.”

  “Suit yourself,” he says, and takes a drink from his.

  I sniff it. From scent alone, I’m guessing it’s Coke and some sort of whiskey. “What’s in it?”

  “A dash of happy and a shot of don’t-give-a-damn.” He raises his glass. “Cheers.”

  “Just what the doctor ordered,” I say. I bring it to my lips as he drinks. When it touches my tongue, I hesitate and lower my glass without swallowing. Isaac’s turned into a decent guy, but I’m here to keep him from making Chris’s life any more difficult, not to hang out with an old drinking buddy. I take a seat on the couch and rest my glass on the end table. “You didn’t tell Chris who I am, did you?”

  Isaac takes the spot beside me, sets his drink on the coffee table, and turns to face me. “It wasn’t my story to tell,” he says softly.

  “He doesn’t remember me from high school.”

  “Or he won’t let himself.”

  I frown and try to draw in a breath, but it feels like my lungs are trapped in a cage that won’t let them expand. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “He doesn’t want to think of you li
ke that.” He grunts. “Some guys can’t handle the idea of women having experiences with anyone but them, I guess. In his case, ignorance is bliss.”

  “He’s got some stuff going on.” I pull my bottom lip between my teeth. I don’t want to share too much of Chris’s personal situation with Isaac. Or maybe I don’t want to say it out loud because it makes it too real. His ex-girlfriend might be having his baby. “I don’t want him to have to deal with my baggage on top of everything else right now.”

  He shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure he’ll get over it with some time.”

  Get over it. I don’t want my past to be something Chris has to get over, but those old words haunt me. As if I’d put my dick near that. Five years later, and a couple weeks as the object of his affection, and the memory of those words hurts as much as ever. Maybe more. “I hope so.” But maybe he won’t need to find out until after I go back to New York. And maybe by then he’ll be so wrapped up in Olivia that he won’t care anymore. “It doesn’t really matter.”

  Isaac rakes his gaze down my body slowly before bringing it back up to meet mine. “You’re special, Grace. And if Chris can’t see that because of something you did years ago, that’s his loss.” I want to defend Chris and explain that it’s not that simple, but before I can get out the words, Isaac continues, “I always hoped you’d give me a chance someday. Not just a chance to mess around, but something real.” He shakes his head and ducks it. “But I kind of fucked that up last summer, didn’t I?”

  “I never intended to sleep with you,” I tell him. I feel courageous for bringing it up. I’ve always avoided talk of that night, as if silence could erase the mistake.

  “I shouldn’t have let it go that far. You were all over me, though, and . . .” He sighs and lifts his palms. “I wish I could say I was a better man. Fuck, Grace, you’re gorgeous.”

  “I was drunk.”