Forced Out of the Darkness

by Jackson Jr, G. Wayne

  The congregation went into an uproar. They looked at one another and asked each other had they paid the price. In the midst of the clapping, many congregants shouted out “Preach Pastor”.

  “Many people go around daily using people to fulfil their own lustful fantasies without regard to the destruction that they are causing. In the Bible, there are countless stories of people wanting to approach God but they were required to provide a sacrifice. David said this in II Samuel 24:24, “I will not offer burnt offering to God that cost me nothing.” There is a price tag that you must pay in order to reach God. If you have wronged someone you are supposed to go to that person and ask them to forgive you before you come to God. You can’t do wrong to God’s people without paying the price.”

  The congregants began to stand up and talk back to the preacher. “Say that thing!”

  “Sometimes we are our own worst enemy because we allow pride to hinder us from doing what is right. You know you are wrong to be sleeping with this one and whoring with that one and you have a spouse at home. You are plain wrong to feel that you have to validate your manhood by how many women you bed or even how many men you sleep with too. We have some of that here too. God will only cover your secrets for so long before he allows them to be open for the world to see. You cannot expect God to condone your stupidity, Beloved. Some people in here choose to live in the darkness of their past instead of living in the light of God’s love. They want others to accept them in their mess instead of standing up and saying, “No, I am better than this.” How long will you be able to live like this without God bringing this foolishness to an end?”

  The pastor was preaching right to Monti. She spoke as if she had a private seat in the recesses of his mind and knew all the dirt and damage that he had done to others in order to keep his secrets from being revealed.

  “Someone in here has just made a mess of their life and does not know how to get out of their situation. You can be forgiven. You have to allow others to do what they are going to do. But you have to live Joshua’s statement when he said as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Is there anybody here that is willing to give it all up and let God clean them up? No matter what the price, your life is worth more than all the secrets and lies that you have bottled up. If you are living in a lie, then your relationship is nothing more than a lie. There is no foundation in that. Have you paid the price?”

  The pastor had been up speaking for fifteen minutes and the congregants were on their feet. Everybody in the sanctuary was excited about the message. As the pastor moved to close the sermon about ten minutes later, she picked up the microphone from its stand and moved down to the floor where the congregants were.

  “Nothing is worth you staying bound up in a self-imposed prison. Are there any truth-speakers in the room? You have to put aside every weight, and the sin, which doth so easily beset us. You have to let it go. Your life is in jeopardy because you want to hold on to darkness. Aren’t you tired of carrying the weight of your past? Are you tired of carrying the pain of what your parents did to you as a child? Are you tired of living a lie every day to the point that you don’t know truth from lies? Have you looked in the mirror and found out that you don’t even know the person looking back at you? You have to be willing to come to God and lay it all down. He won’t judge you but he will help give you the strength to persevere through whatever you may be going through. Sometimes you will have to pay a price even though you have given it to God but just know in those dark moments, God’s grace will be sufficient to carry you through to the end. Lift up your hands and tell God that you surrender to him. Tell him that you are willing to pay the price to gain your life back.”

  The congregation had lifted their hands. People were crying with their hands up in surrender to the Divine. Others were on their knees praying. Monti could not help lifting his arms to God. He was hurting; he had made a mess of his life and those that were in it. He prayed out loud to God and said that he was willing to pay the price for all that he had done. He wanted to be freed from this situation. He wanted to be free from his abused childhood. He was tired of the way his life was. He wanted to have his relationship with Cameron and wanted it to continue to grow. He wanted the strength to tell Cameron everything and show him why he did not have friends to share with him.

  “This message was for someone in here today. If you heard God saying that you have to let it go no matter what the cost and you are ready to move away from that old person and try to walk in what God wants you to walk into, come on down to the altar so that I can pray with you that God gives you strength to get this thing together.”

  With that invitation, people from all over the sanctuary began to come forward and cry out to God. Monti was one of them…He was on his knees with tears in his eyes and he prayed for strength and direction. The pastor prayed with him and told him that it would be ok. “No matter what happens, you have to know that God will carry you through it all. You might have to lose some things in this process but just know that is the price you had to pay to get your integrity back.”

  Then Monti said, “God I am willing to pay the price to get my integrity back.”

  * * * * *

  Cameron had a nice time in church though he had to park a block away from the church because the parking lot of the church was full. He looked at his phone when he got out of church and found that he did not have any missed calls. As he was walking to the car, a nicely dressed man walked up to him and asked, “Are you Cameron McNeil?”

  “Yes, I am. How can I help you?”

  “I was told that you might want to see this.” He said as he handed Cameron the manila envelope.

  “Excuse me? Who are you and how do you know me?”

  “That is not important but what is important is that you see what is in that envelope. Sorry that you had to learn it this way.” He said as he turned and walked away.

  Cameron looked at the envelope and saw that someone wrote on the outside of the sealed envelope:

  This is what you were looking for.

  Cameron got into his car and took a breath. His heart was beating fast and hard. “What in the hell was this?” Cameron though. He opened the envelope and saw the photo of Monti in the park having sex but he could not recognize the person Monti was with. His face burned and his eyes began to water. “What the fuck?” He said. Cameron pulled out the note and read it.

  Cameron,

  I am sorry to have to bring this to you like this. The guy that you have been dating has a secret life. He frequents parks, bookstores and bathhouses. He has not stopped this even when he was involved with you. The photos are him taken less than a month ago when you were away at work. This is not the first time and won’t be the last time. He has never been faithful to anyone and trust me we know. We gave him a few days to tell you the truth but he is a coward and a pathological liar. He doesn’t know how to tell the truth. You deserve better. I hope you do what is right.

  Harper

  “Who the hell is Harper and why would they give me this stuff?” Cameron said as he wiped the tears that formed in his eyes.

  Chapter Forty-Four

  Secrets Exposed

  Church was over and Monti was speaking to his friends and some family members who also attended the church with him. He was getting ready to walk out of the sanctuary when a man in a suit walked up to him. “What a great service today. I see that you really enjoyed the message.”

  “Yes, I needed this message.” Monti responded.

  “Enjoy the rest of your day.” He said as he shook his hand. Monti felt someone tap him on the shoulder. He turned around and one of his church friends said, “I think you need to see this.” He handed him a flyer that had the caption Introducing Monti’s Lustful Desires. Immediately Monti knew what he was seeing. Monti asked him, “Where did you get this?”

  “They are on everyone’s cars in the parking lot.”

  Monti ran out of the church to find that the photos of him in the park with
Calvin were put collage style on a flyer and distributed on every car in the church’s parking lot and those that were on the streets surrounding the church. The bottom of the flyer said, “The darkness comes to the light!” Monti tried to get the flyers that he could see but it was too late. Most of the congregation was outside of the church at their cars seeing Monti exposed in all his lust. He ran to his vehicle to find another manila envelope on his windshield. This time there were no photos in the envelope. Just a note that said:

  Monti,

  You will now know what it means to lose everything. Your church family sees you for who you are. Your boss knows that you can’t keep your dick to yourself and I am sure that Cameron will not want to see you again because he, too, knows your secrets. Does your mother know where you take her Jeep in the wee hours of the night?

  The truth revealed feels so good…doesn’t it?

  H-W

  Monti had to call Cameron. He reached for his cell phone to call Cameron when it began to ring. He looked at the caller Id and saw that it read Mom.

  “Hello?”

  “Hello Son, what are you doing?”

  “I am just leaving church and you?”

  “Montague, are you going to tell me why I got home from church today and found an envelope with a photo of you and some man doing God-knows-what on a tree?”

  “Mom, I don’t have time right now for your condescending comments. Obviously, the picture is of me. I made some bad judgments recently…oh hell, in my whole life I have made bad decisions. I do not need you to throw it in my face. My life is crumbling before me, and personally, I don’t need you adding to the pain that I am already feeling. So, if that is all you are calling me for then I don’t need to hear this right now. I have a relationship that I have to try to save and I think that I might have gone too far at this point.”

  “I did not raise you to do this stuff…”

  “Mom, I can’t talk about this with you right now.” Monti interrupted. He heard the phone beep, indicating another call was coming through. He looked at his phone and saw the caller ID. “My phone is ringing. Cameron is the man that I love. We can talk about this later.” He clicked over and said, “Hello.”

  “Monti?” Cameron said on the other line.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  G. Wayne Jackson is a freelance writer and author. G. Wayne is a Gulf War Veteran of the United States Army and a graduate of the University of Michigan-Dearborn. He has earned two Master degrees and is close to finishing his Doctorate degree. He decided, at the urging of his partner in life, to write what was inside. After a year of indecision, he began the process of putting on paper what was in his heart. Forced Out of the Darkness is the result of this effort.

  G. Wayne is currently working on the sequel to Forced Out of the Darkness. He resides in Chicago, Illinois with his partner Walter and their two dogs, Isis and NeeNee.