Ultimate Surrender: The Surrender Series, Book 2

by Jennifer Kacey

  That was her out. She could change the subject but she didn’t really want to. “Well yes, and no.”

  Angela grabbed a bowl, filled it with water, and rinsed off the baby. “No as in— Like, marks?”

  Natalie nodded.

  “What kind?” Angela knelt next to the tub and kept a hand on Wyatt as she stared at Natalie. “Like…”

  Open-ended, Natalie knew Angela was leaving it open so she could talk to her, tell her what she was comfortable with and nothing more.

  She didn’t think Angela would judge her, and she really wanted a girlfriend to confide in and maybe work out some of what was going on in her head.

  “Hey.”

  Natalie blinked and focused on Angela. She held her hand out for her and Natalie took it, letting her friend pull her down onto the floor with her.

  “Nothing you say will leave here. Ever. I won’t even tell Clay what we discuss. You know that, right?”

  Squeezing her hand, Natalie nodded. “I think I knew that already but I also think I needed to hear it.”

  “You kept secrets for me for more than a decade until I was ready to share them myself.” She glanced at the baby who was happily splashing around. “I’m pretty sure I owe you tons.”

  “You’ve kept secrets for me for that long too. You don’t owe me anything.”

  Angela smiled at her and squeezed her hand before grabbing the bowl and pouring more water over Wyatt. “So why hesitate?”

  “My family, I guess. I’ve always had to be so guarded. Since I walked away from them years ago I haven’t really dated anyone. I always have to keep things a secret. And if this kind of thing ever got out.” Natalie stared up at the ceiling and shook her head. “Ugh. Can’t imagine what would happen.”

  “Kink doesn’t make you a bad person.”

  “I know.” She mostly believed that. “But there’s a lot of very conservative people out there who contribute to the clinic. It getting out that I like to submit to a man would probably have my funding dry up quicker than rain in the Sahara.”

  “Submit. That’s delicious. I wondered.”

  Natalie stared at her again. “Wondered what?”

  “If you were on the top of that power exchange or if Campbell was. I didn’t want to assume either way.”

  “Me topping him? Not. Being on my knees for him? Damn.”

  “Hot?”

  “Blistering,” she admitted on an almost moan.

  “So…” Angela bit her bottom lip. “You have to give me at least an idea of what was going on earlier. You said you weren’t having sex. But it sure sounded like you were having sex. And I know you don’t have to tell me but, oh my gawd, you have to tell me.”

  “I rolled my eyes at him in the kitchen.”

  “Doing dishes,” Angela added helpfully.

  “Exactly. And then I ended up bent over the cleared counter. Half naked. With his mouth on me. And his fingers. Oh gawd his fingers.” Natalie closed her eyes. “He makes me forget everything else even exists.”

  “That is so hot.”

  “Yes he is.”

  “No. I mean yes, but I meant him turning your head off. Silencing everything else. Making the whole world disappear. Nothing better.”

  “I’m beginning to agree with you. Still scares the shit out of me.”

  Angela nodded and tickled Wyatt. “It will. Gets easier.” She tickled the baby again and he giggled. “You mentioned earlier you have to be guarded when you date. Is that what you and Campbell are doing? Dating?”

  “No. We’re just having sex. A lot of sex.”

  Angela tried to cover the snicker but she wasn’t successful. “You do realize how ironic that statement is, right?”

  Natalie thought for a second. “No. Why?”

  “We just had a double date dinner.”

  Her heart stopped for a second before it kicked in hard again. “We had dinner but I don’t think that makes it a date.”

  “Campbell looked at you the whole time.”

  “So?”

  “You kept blushing.”

  “That’s just because, well… Because. Doesn’t make it a date.”

  “And he kept holding your hand under the table.”

  “Uhh…”

  “I might be young but I wasn’t born yesterday. You’re dating and having sex. Why is that a problem?”

  “Because I don’t want to date. I don’t want to fall for him. My heart isn’t open for breaking. I just can’t deal with that. And he’s working for me. That seems like a large conflict of interest.”

  “Conflict of interest or fate?”

  Natalie shook her head and tried to speak, but Angela talked over her.

  “You’re too young to think love isn’t worth being open to.”

  “Says the girl who slept with no one since being with Clay years ago.”

  Instead of being offended, Angela laughed. “What can I say, I have high standards. And it took Clay protecting me to bring us back together. Maybe that’s exactly what you and Campbell needed to get together.”

  “Or maybe we just need to screw like rabbits for forty-eight hours straight to get it out of our systems and we can go back to being grouchy at each other?”

  Angela stared at her and pulled the stopper on the bathtub. “Do you really believe that?”

  Shaking her head, Natalie grabbed a towel so she could take Wyatt as soon as his mama lifted him out of the tub. Wrapping him up and drying him off, she stared at him, hoping someday she’d be lucky enough to hold her own son again. “I don’t know what to believe. I was wrong about him. That much I know. And sex with him?” She whispered the last part. Holding Wyatt close, she bent one of her knees and pulled her sock down to show Angela marks the cuffs made earlier in the day. “It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced.”

  “Cuffs?” Angela touched the mark and smiled. “So hot.”

  Natalie moved one of her long sleeves and showed her the matching marks on her wrists. “And I have bite marks. On my thighs.”

  “Have you ever played with anyone before like this? Gotten kinky before?” She straightened up the bathtub and set the smaller tub up on its end to drain, giving Natalie a bit of time to think about her answer.

  “Nothing like this. And you know what?”

  Angela got to her feet and took Wyatt from Natalie so she could stand. “What?”

  Glancing in the mirror, Natalie quickly looked away, afraid she’d lose her nerve. “I thought I knew what sex was all about. But I’d always kind of wondered what the big deal was.”

  Staring at baby Wyatt, Angela gave him a kiss and then looked back up to Natalie. “And now?” she asked with a more than knowing glint in her eye.

  She tried to speak but failed. Tried again with the same result and then smiled. “Now I know what people are talking about. Now I know why nations have been wagered for it. Why people wax poetically about it. He’s…woah.”

  Angela gave baby Wyatt back to Natalie and opened the bathroom door.

  The rush of cooler air against her cheeks let her know exactly how overheated she was. And the warm steam from the bathtub had little to do with it.

  “We’re going to get Wyatt ready for bed,” Angela called out as they walked down the hallway to the nursery.

  Clay spoke up. “Need any help?”

  “Nope.”

  “Is that code for you’re talking about us and testosterone isn’t welcome in your presence at the moment?”

  “You got it,” Angela answered as she grabbed a onesie from Wyatt’s dresser.

  They got the baby lotioned up, diapered, and dressed before Angela sat with him in the rocking chair and nursed him while they spoke in hushed words.

  “A double date.” The words came out of Natalie’s mouth as if they were a revelation.


  “What? Tonight?”

  “Yeah. That’s what we had tonight?”

  “That’s exactly what we had tonight. Dinner. Conversation. Flirting. Laughing. Dating.”

  “Ugh.”

  Angela laughed and startled Wyatt, who groused at her. She petted his back and got him latched back on. “Not exactly what you thought last week would be happening this week?”

  “Not even in the same dimension.”

  “Campbell freak out at the nursery?”

  Natalie smiled a bit smugly. “Just a bit.”

  “Epic.” Angela yawned and covered her mouth. “Sorry. Long days. Long nights.”

  “Worth it?” Natalie asked as her friend stared down at her son. The son she almost lost. The boy she almost gave her life for.

  “Every sleepless night. Every aching muscle. Every worry. Every fear.” She brushed his hair forward as he nursed on her. “Everything is worth it to have him in my arms.”

  A familiar ache settled inside Natalie’s chest. “I’m so very happy for you. For Clay. You guys finding each other again was amazing.”

  “Life’s rarely what you think it’s going to be. But sometimes, just sometimes, it works out even better than you think it will.”

  “I completely agree.”

  A deep voice from the doorway pulled Natalie’s attention from her friend.

  Clay, Angela’s husband and the love of her life, was staring at his wife. He walked to her and kissed her lips. Twice. “I just came in to say good night to mini-man. I’ve missed him.”

  “It’s getting late and it’s been a super long week. I think we’re going to take off.”

  “Sorry for being a party pooper.” Angela yawned again and unlatched a sleeping Wyatt and moved him to her shoulder to pat his back. “These every-three-hour feedings wreck my sleep schedule.” The rest of her body language told Natalie that she didn’t really mind at all.

  “No apology needed.” Natalie walked over and hugged Clay. “Thanks for having us. Dinner was awesome. Company was even better.” Leaning over, she kissed Angela’s cheek and then Wyatt’s head. “Call you tomorrow?”

  “Please,” Angela answered as she rocked the baby and hummed a lullaby.

  “You’re welcome anytime. Both of you. You know that, right?” Clay put an arm around her shoulder and walked her back down the hall.

  “Yes I do. Love you guys a lot. You’re both like the family I got to pick.”

  Clay gave her one more squeeze before turning the corner. “Ditto.”

  And there stood Campbell, shrugging on his leather coat. His smile when he caught sight of her melted her in places she thought she’d put on perma-frost.

  He grabbed her coat and held it open for her to put on. Settling it on her shoulders, he pulled her hair from beneath the collar and kissed her neck.

  What was happening between her and Campbell?

  She had no clue.

  But as he breathed her in, she leaned against the side of his stubbled jaw and wondered if she’d be the same when he walked away.

  She wouldn’t be and she knew it.

  For some odd reason she was starting to think keeping him wasn’t all that bad.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Campbell

  Over the next few days in the clinic Campbell commandeered Jay the IT guy to help install cameras. He seemed to have a good head on his shoulders, asked good questions, and he was super thankful for the extra hours and the shared testosterone. They were finishing up after hours so they didn’t have to be worried about wires dangling and ladders in everyone’s way.

  As Campbell terminated the next to last camera in Natalie’s office, he handed the tools back to Jay who handed him the camera in trade. He’d booted Natalie out to the front section so he could finish up in her space.

  She didn’t like the feeling of being watched but she begrudgingly acknowledged the need for it.

  Jay got the next set of termination ends ready and asked more questions. “You said this system has remote access to it. From anywhere?”

  Campbell connected the cables, protected the ends, mounted the camera, and adjusted the lens. “Exactly. It’ll connect into the high-speed internet in the IT closet. Natalie will have access to it from anywhere and any computer, laptop, Mac, whatever.”

  “And her phone?”

  “Yep. Through an app I’ll program with the connect info.”

  “You’ll have access too, right, and get all the motion alerts you set up earlier?”

  Campbell nodded, pocketing the security screwdriver made specifically for the cameras so regular bits didn’t fit them. “I’ll have 24/7 access to this place.” He climbed down the ladder and folded it up, getting it ready to move it to the final camera area.

  “Good.” Jay buttoned up the toolkit with everything they needed to terminate the cameras, tossed the second to last camera box in the garbage, and snagged the toolkit while Campbell hauled the ladder.

  He called out to Natalie. “We’re all done in your office. You can have it back now.”

  She appeared at the end of the hall almost immediately. “Thank heavens. There’s only so much solitaire a woman can play before going mad.”

  Campbell grinned and stopped at the corner of the hallway as she approached her office door. “You played what? Two games?”

  She glanced inside and wrinkled her nose at the camera. “Three. It was horrible.”

  “We’re almost done. One more camera and an hour or so of setup on something else. You okay staying a bit longer? We can catch dinner on the way home.”

  Home. Something funny fluttered in his chest and he swallowed it down.

  “I could order out. Have it delivered. I have enough work to do for several hours more here. That way neither of us have to worry. Work for you guys?”

  Campbell looked at Jay.

  “Fine with me. As long as it’s not that spicy noodle crap you love so much.”

  “But it’s sooooo good,” Natalie countered. “What about Italian? I’ll order a few dishes and we can share it all.”

  Jay nodded.

  Campbell did too. “Works for us.”

  “I’ll call you guys once the food is here.”

  “Beforehand,” Campbell reminded her. “You don’t get the door by yourself anymore. Not after hours like this. Or ever. Got it?”

  “Yes, Daddy.” She rolled her eyes and disappeared in her office.

  Moving along the corridor to the back door, he stopped on the far end of the hall, trying to get his libido under control. It hadn’t been more than a few hours since he’d had her and he already wanted her again. Needed her.

  Damn.

  She was fast becoming closer to an addiction.

  Thankfully Jay spoke up and pulled his attention back to the current task at hand. “I had another thought on the remote access last night after we talked about it.”

  “What?”

  “You can have up to what, twenty-five users or something like that? Why not give Detective Wyatt access to it as well?”

  Campbell set the ladder in the hallway and opened it up under the last bare piece of cabling sticking out from the drop ceiling. “I’d thought the same thing. The more eyes we have on this place the better. Especially until we catch the Dicknose Turd Biscuit that keeps fucking with her.”

  “Nice one. Pompous Shart Goblin?”

  Campbell grabbed the right tools and headed up the ladder. “Lazy Douche Pirate.”

  “We should totally write this shit down. We’d be famous.”

  “Ugh. No thank you. After seeing what Angela and Natalie have to deal with I’ll pass.”

  “Amen to that.”

  Campbell stripped off the outer vinyl on the cabling, slipped on a ferrule, trimmed the center conductor on the coax, and finished the connect
or with two hex crimps. “I have a question.”

  Jay handed him a pair of power wire strippers before he even asked.

  “Why are you working here?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’re not married, no kids. You’re pretty good-looking for a tech geek.”

  Jay chuckled.

  “Do you have a video game addiction and you’re secretly in a relationship with some chick in Taipei named Ning Wah? Who’s really a dude named Charlie in Pittsburgh?”

  Jay laughed again. “No Ting Wang or whatever her name is. I do like my video games but the good stuff like Mario Brothers and Halo.”

  “Good man.” He took the last camera and finished the install. “So what gives? Your background check is clean. You don’t even have a lead foot to speak of. You’re like the model New Yorker. You’re an alien. Fuck. I knew there was something wrong with you.”

  “Naw, nothing like that. I, uhh…” Jay rubbed a hand over his hair and looked a bit shy.

  Campbell stopped what he was doing and waited. He honestly didn’t know what was coming but was completely intrigued to say the least.

  “I’m a throwaway.”

  Nothing else came, and neither did Jay’s gaze meet Campbell’s again. “A throwaway?”

  “Parents didn’t want me. An accident. A disaster. Unexpected to say the very least. My mother left me in a dumpster when I was just a few days old. I was born in December, in New York, so you can imagine the outcome they were hoping for.”

  “Jesus.”

  “So this clinic, giving women options that don’t involve a black trash bag and a twist tie, it means something. I could go to work at some corporation putting patch panels together or wiring up a new phone system for some Fortune 100 company down on Wall Street. But this place? It makes a difference in people’s lives. News crews will never be here doing some broadcast on all of the futures this place affects. Not even with Natalie’s family name tied to it. But this place matters. And I like being a part of it.”

  Campbell wasn’t struck speechless very often. But that story did it.

  They finished hanging the camera in silence while Campbell thought about the reasoning behind Jay’s calling to work there. To help them.