Ultimate Surrender: The Surrender Series, Book 2

by Jennifer Kacey

No one.

  He was hers. She’d kept him safely hidden away. Protected. Untouchable.

  But as she held the paper out to Campbell and nodded, she wondered if it wasn’t from fear. Of judgment or ridicule maybe.

  Whatever had held her back wasn’t there anymore.

  And the man in front of her had a huge part in that.

  “I’ll be quick. Promise.” He stood.

  “What, tonight? Aren’t you tired?”

  “Beat. But I know you. You’re not going to sleep a wink if we wait. You’ll toss and turn and I need my beauty sleep.” He chuckled then kissed the top of her head and tilted her face up for one more on her lips.

  “You’re amazing, you know that?”

  “Thanks.” He wandered toward the back where his laptop was set up.

  “Want some company?”

  “Naw. You play with the kids and I’ll be quick. I’ll make Clay help me, too. Mwahaha.”

  Thinking about contacting Angela to talk it over with her sounded nice but she just wanted some peace and quiet. Some solitude to think. Decompress maybe.

  She snuggled on the couch and the dogs jumped up to cuddle in her lap.

  No idea how long she sat there.

  But everyone was content, happy.

  That’s when it happened.

  As if she were struck with a bolt of lightning or a two-by-four across the temple. All of the other foster children she’d kept she knew were destined for other families, other paths, other adventures. She would miss them when they were placed with permanent homes or back with their original families, but she truly believed they were going where they were meant to.

  With Starling?

  She couldn’t imagine not having her. Not hearing her cry when she was hungry. Not getting to see her grow and develop and become the wonderfully amazing girl she knew she was going to be.

  Contentment settled in her bones and she grabbed her phone out of her purse sitting on the coffee table beside her.

  She fired off a text to Jay. “Hey you still at work?”

  Didn’t take long for him to answer. “Yep, you need something?”

  “Greta still there?”

  “Hold on.” Took about thirty seconds to get his next response. “Barely. I’m standing next to her. Go ahead.”

  “Ask her to make a note for tomorrow to contact my attorney to start formal adoption proceedings for Starling.” She hovered her thumb over the send button, making sure this was what she wanted to do.

  Starling pumped her legs and made the “ooo” face at the mirror on her bouncy seat.

  Natalie laughed and teared up and pushed the send button.

  “Greta and all the rest of the girls are jumping up and down. There’s lots of squealing and…oh lord there might be tears. Do you have enough chocolate in the building to protect me from the estrogen explosion that just happened?”

  Natalie laughed again and texted back. “Just stand real still and they won’t see you.”

  “Better not. If Greta would just get a cell phone that had more advanced functions than hieroglyphics I could still be hunkered in the back missing all of this fun.”

  “It’ll never happen.”

  “I know I know. But a guy can dream.”

  “Thanks for spreading the word for me. Now kick everyone out. See you guys tomorrow.”

  “Adios!”

  Pushing the button on her phone to make her screen go black, she put it back on the coffee table. Absentmindedly, she petted the dogs and watched Starling, sending up more than a little prayer of thanks.

  She gave up one child because she was too scared she couldn’t be what he needed all on her own.

  Even after dedicating her life and her ambition to making sure other women didn’t have to make the same choice she had, she’d still almost made it again. The wrong choice.

  Yes she was scared of going it alone if…when Campbell decided he didn’t want to play house any more. Scared didn’t even cut it with the ramifications of being Starling’s mother forever. She could mess up, make mistakes just like any parent could.

  But the terror and sadness that gripped her, thinking about anyone else being her parent, left her shaken and emotional.

  She’d be the best mom she could be and she would love her.

  No mother would ever love a child more than she loved Starling.

  Loved.

  As in already.

  As in past, current, and future.

  “I love you, Starling.”

  The happy little girl kicked her feet and gurgled some more. Same ol’ same ol’ for her, but for Natalie it was monumental.

  She hadn’t told a living person she loved them since the day she buried her grandmother.

  “I love you, I love you, I love you,” she whispered again as she skooched the dogs to the side. Slinking off the couch, she crawled over to Starling, who looked at her as she moved closer. “I love you.”

  She wanted her to know she was loved.

  The fact that she hadn’t told her until that moment meant she had months of time to make up for. Lots of I love yous. Like millions.

  The dogs jumped off the couch and followed soon after and Natalie played with all three of the “kids” until she heard the latch on the door down the hallway click open.

  A few seconds later Campbell walked out with a smile on his face. “It’s good info.”

  She sorta lay down and mostly collapsed onto the floor next to Starling, which was obviously doggeze for “please jump on me and give me your slobber.”

  Campbell brought the piece of paper back with him and joined her on the floor. “I’ll rescue you from the vicious attack Papillons.”

  “My hero,” Natalie praised when he scooped them off her face. It took her a second to sit up but she got there. “So, what did you find out? And how did you find out anything in that short amount of time?”

  “A magician never reveals his secrets.”

  She raised an eyebrow at him.

  “And the magician might have friends in every level of places that he can call on to find things out.”

  She kept her eyebrow raised.

  “How about a huge amount of social media and I have access to databases that can search per state, per territory of state, and down to a particular address or phone number. Think FBI database without the wire-tapping. Mostly.”

  “Mostly?”

  He shrugged. “I know people.” He stared at her. “And this was important.”

  She bit her lip, half wanting to know and half needing to run in the other room to hide in the bathroom. She wasn’t running scared. Not anymore. “So when you say good info does that mean you corroborated the info and it’s sound, or good as in they’re good people and the boy I gave birth to is happy and loved and I made the right decision?” Sort of surreptitiously she covered her mouth and if she’d had a rewind button she totally would have pushed it for a do-over.

  He handed over the paper to her and pointed to the top. “I verified the information about names, last known address, phone number is a valid number that is tied to the parents. The rest I left up to you to find out, but I think you’re going to like what you find out.”

  The words just wouldn’t make sense. She tried for what seemed like a minute or two before she finally shook her head. “What’s my son’s name? What did they name him?”

  He pointed to a bold name at the top with a line under it. “Cooper. His name is Cooper. And he’s eleven.”

  “Cooper,” she repeated, trying it on for size. “That’s a good name. Good for a young boy and a man.” Eleven. She replayed what Campbell said and then thought of something else. She flipped the paper over and then looked up at him. “Have you seen what he looks like? Seen a picture of him and his family?”

  He hesitated and then no
dded.

  “Why’d you hesitate?” Fear cramped her sides and she almost wanted to take it back again.

  “Nothing bad, Natalie. So sorry. I didn’t mean to panic you. I thought about printing out pictures but you’ve already had a rough day and I didn’t know how much you really wanted to take on tonight. He, uhh…” He rubbed a hand over his short hair. “He actually looks a lot like you. Like…a lot.”

  Natalie smiled and then giggled. “He does?”

  He pulled her into his lap and held her close as she clutched the paper to her chest.

  “That’s incredible.” She stared at the paper again and stared at the address and phone number. “They’re in South Carolina. Same time zone.” She looked at her watch. “And it’s only seven thirty. Should I call them? Kathryn and Klynt Oakridge. Cooper Oakridge. Damn. This is totally surreal.”

  “Completely up to you. I bet they’ll still be up and you could call.”

  “But it’s a school night. I’d hate to call and wake them up.”

  Campbell smiled and pulled her a bit closer so he could kiss her cheek. “Pretty sure seven thirty there is a lot like seven thirty here. How about I take the dogs out and you can have a teensy bit of privacy? Now understand this is no pressure. Anything with this you have to make the decision and I’m just going to support you. Okay?”

  Turning sideways in his lap, she wrapped her arms around him. “Thanks.”

  “Welcome.”

  Super quick she stood up and helped get the dogs on their leashes before Campbell kissed her mouth and then took them out.

  Starling fell asleep somewhere in the changing of the guards and Natalie hunkered close to her for moral support.

  Staring at the number wasn’t going to get her anywhere. “Nut up,” she ordered herself and finally pushed the buttons to get the phone on, number inputted and then—

  “Hello,” a masculine voice that sounded a few years old than her answered.

  She swallowed twice, panicking just a bit because she had no idea the topics she could cover, they’d be receptive of, and what she could handle and what she couldn’t. “My name is Natalie. Is this Klynt by any chance?” Shaking like a leaf didn’t come close to the tremors running through her.

  “It is. What can I do for you?”

  She bit her lip and closed her eyes, immediately transported to another time and place, giving birth to a son who was all too quickly taken from her. “A little over eleven years ago, on August 22, I gave birth to a dark-haired little boy in a private birthing facility in California. I gave him up for adoption and I have good reason to believe your son is that little boy.”

  “Oh my God. Kathryn,” he yelled.

  And Natalie knew she’d found her son.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Campbell

  Campbell stepped into her office at the clinic the next morning and she was staring at her phone again. “Get a new picture?”

  She looked up at him and grinned. Her smile was happy but guarded, and he couldn’t blame her. Talk about having a shit-ton of info dumped in her lap in less than twenty-four hours.

  Glancing into the bassinet, he made sure Starling was still sleeping. She’d been fussy the night before after they’d tried putting her to bed. Teething, Natalie suggested, but he sure didn’t want to rock the nap boat she was rowing on.

  She flipped her phone around, showing a picture of a smiling boy with a couple teeth missing on the side as he hugged a golden retriever. “From the dad?” he asked as he took her phone and stared at the little boy who looked so much like her no one could miss the family resemblance.

  “Yes.”

  He handed the phone back and leaned his hip against her desk.

  “His wife, he said, is still scared and doesn’t want to really talk to me yet. I can understand that.”

  Her mouth said the words, but her hurt expression said otherwise.

  “Hearing that Cooper is healthy and wicked smart and a dog lover just knocked me on my ass. Uhh…” She turned off the screen on her phone and set it on her desk. “Sorry for blubbering all over you last night in the shower. No clue what came over me.”

  Her self-deprecating face pissed him off. “Natalie.” He said her name in the tone she couldn’t ignore but she actually tried for a second.

  When her gaze finally flipped up to meet his, he told her, “Don’t ever apologize for your show of emotion. It’s raw and beautiful and makes me feel incredibly special that you would…” He wanted to use the word trust but he specifically avoided using that word with her. “Share that with me.”

  She made another face and he had a feeling he was still only seeing a glimpse into the true level of emotions she was capable of. He grinned and couldn’t wait to see more. Deciding to drop the subject was hard, but he did it anyway. “Any plans to talk on the phone again with them?”

  “Couple weeks after they’ve both had time to process and talk about it. Cooper knows he’s adopted but not much else. And with them living in South Carolina it’s not like it’s super easy for them or me to hop in the car and take a trip.”

  “We could always take a long weekend. Get out of Manhattan for a little bit. It’s an option.”

  She nodded and tilted her head to the side to stare at him. “It’s funny.”

  “What is?”

  “I still like talking to you.”

  “Uhh, is that one of those backward compliments you seem to like doling out to me?”

  She grinned. “Not backward at all.” Something on her screen pinged, probably one of the thousands of emails she was forced to deal with every day. “We’re together, all the time. I truly expected you to annoy the crap out of me.”

  “Backward,” he added dryly.

  “I’m getting to the good part.”

  “Thank goodness.”

  Sticking her tongue out at him, she grabbed her mouse and started clicking on things on the screen. “Even together all the time I really like talking to you. And your opinion matters. Never saw that happening.”

  “Agreed. You aren’t like normal chicks.”

  Up went her single eyebrow. “Normal? Chicks?”

  “You know exactly what I’m talking about so don’t give me the death stare. The ones who are catty and shrill and talk shit out of both sides of their mouths. Disingenuous. You’re real. You speak your mind and it doesn’t piss me off. Epic.”

  “Can’t stand women like that. It’s so pointless.”

  “Yes, but to them it’s their life’s work.”

  “Agreed.”

  “Hey, you got a minute? I didn’t just barge in here to chitchat about how awesome I am.”

  “Shocking.”

  He glared at her and she grinned.

  “Wyatt called a minute ago.”

  Talk about getting her attention. “And?”

  “Eric cracked the stick.”

  “And?” she asked a little louder and then glanced in Starling’s direction.

  Campbell did too, but the sleeping girl stayed down. “Lots more kiddie porn, animal sex, whatever it’s called when you screw dead people. You name it, there were hundreds of them. So it looks like Wren was more than likely the person who put the stuff on your PC the first time. Why, they don’t know. May never know since she’s not around to answer more questions.”

  “How’d they get in?”

  “The password. Wren gave it to you.”

  “Eagle whatever and the numbers? That was the password?”

  He nodded.

  “It’s all so strange. I had a thought this morning, especially after all the talk of familial names. I have a family bible in the top of the office closet. I pulled it out while you were in the shower. Looked it over. Tried to see if anyone else on my mother’s side of the family could have snuck in with some relative I didn’t know.”r />
  “And?”

  “Nothing. My grandmother only had two children. My mother, and my Uncle Steve.”

  “You have no siblings, but what about Steve?”

  “Ugh. One daughter. Lory. Thank God he never procreated further. What an asshat.”

  Campbell grinned. “The gene pool in general would do better with that mentality.”

  “There should be some kind of questionnaire people should have to fill out when they reach maturity.”

  “Amen to that.” He laughed softly and stared around her office at all the pictures on the walls. He’d looked at them countless times. One whole wall was completely covered with them. Frame after frame filled with a random collection of things. Famous places, random landscapes he didn’t recognize, propeller airplanes, hot air balloons, rainbows, a Super Bowl picture. “Hey?”

  Another ping chimed on her machine. “What?”

  “What is the wall-o-pictures? It’s like a puzzle and I’ve been staring at it for weeks and I can’t figure it out.”

  “Figure what out?” She seemed a bit distracted as she clicked on more things on her screen.

  “What are the pictures of? They’re beautiful and colorful but they don’t seem to all belong together.”

  She glanced past him at the wall. “Oh. It’s all things I want to do. Places I want to visit. Activities I want to do some day.”

  Her answer surprised him. Shocked the hell out of him actually.

  A realization he’d been fighting hit him. Hard.

  He couldn’t be happier. With her, with Starling. And he had no idea what to do with that, fully knowing the situation was temporary. They’d figure out what was going on with everything or as much as they could past Wren and her husband being the bad guys and she’d move on. So would he. Totally. But he should be happy about that and missing his bachelor life. Jonesing to get away and sow more wild oats.

  The impetus to do any of that had been absent since almost the first moment they were together. He didn’t look at other chicks. Not because he wasn’t supposed to but because he didn’t want to.

  He shook his head and looked back at the wall with the new filter in place of what the images really were. “Skydiving? Really?”