by Rue Volley
“These books will live forever; they are your memories Rue. They are safe now and will never fade away; you released them from your heart.”
I started to cry knowing it was true, after all of this time of wanting everything to be as it should be but not allowing myself to.
“Oh… don’t cry baby.” He said as he lifted my chin and I shook my head.
“I love you.” I said and he grinned at me and moved my hair out of my face and leaned in to my mouth, kissing me slowly, lifting me up off of the ground and kicked the door closed behind him. He walked me to the desk and sat me down as he started to take his shirt off. I looked at him and grinned.
“We can’t… Gracie is right outside Joshua.”
He leaned into to me and moaned and then shook his head.
“I think a bed would be better anyway.” He whispered to me.
I looked at him as he stood up and started to walk away from me.
“Come on.” He said as he reached out to me and I took his hand and we walked through the house.
“Dinner is ready…” Theo said and Josh shook his head and opened the door.
“I need something other than food.” He said and Gracie raised her eyebrows.
“And gross.” She said and he smiled. Then he stopped and looked at Elijah as he rubbed Gracie’s back and looked at me, I shook my head and mouthed the word “no” and he shook his head and stepped out, pulling me with him and I looked across the field and watched the grass sway.
“I am not cool with that.” He muttered and I looked at him and grinned.
“Joshua… after all of this, tell me you would not even think about standing in the way of love.” I said to him.
“She loves him?”
I nodded and he closed his eyes and I stepped in front of him and touched his face.
“Well… shit.” Josh said and I laughed.
Josh took my hand and kissed the inside of my palm and pulled me off the steps and he spun me and we were on the walkway of the tree. I looked down and sucked in my breath.
“You are not dead?” I asked him and he lifted me and studied my face as I started to cry even harder.
“Wait you tried to get laid knowing that I thought you…” he kissed me and I let it go… for the first time. He pulled back from my face and placed my feet on the ground. He gently touched my face and I closed my eyes as color traced my skin and I could feel him surging through me.
“I love you, you are my everything.” He whispered to me and I grinned and shook my head at him.
“Screw the bed.” I said.
He laughed as he lowered with me to the wooden walkway, kissing my neck and he let his teeth sink into me as I gasped for air and tore at his shirt, he laid me down and his body trembled and I smiled at him as he stared into my eyes and said nothing more… it wasn’t needed, and I had him, not only that night… but forever and ever, not as I tried to write it so many times before, but as it should and always will be.
XOXO,
Rue
Thank you.
Team Volley...
Holly Buckler…editor and best friend.
Jackae Johnson…hair/make-up and best friend.
Von Stultz…love of my life and my “Joshua Barrington”
Models:
Caitlin Kelley… “Rue Volley”
To my Family…
John & Melanie Fella, William Hicks, Kimberly Morgan, Laurie Lambert, Samantha Hicks-Holloway, Joshua Hicks.
Vamptasy Publishing…Nicola Ormerod.
To my fans…
I love you and thank you so much for living this with me.
And now!
Bonus Material.
As a thank you to all the fans of this series here are two bonus prequels to enjo
Birth of a Vampire
The story of Bailey and Mia
There is a moment in time for everyone, when you see your reflection in the mirror and realize that you are exactly who you should be. Right on the edge of a new dawn, as I lean in and see all the blood splatter on my face, I slowly touch my skin, smearing it, half tempted to taste it again. When I do, sparks congregate in my brain and cause a rush of adrenaline that I do not expect, but want and need. I can tell you a home does not consist of people but a feeling, something deep and wide and comforting. Comfort, yes, a belonging, whether by chance or purposeful… if you are accepted as is then become.
***
“Don’t do that.” Mina says as she stares me down.
“Do what?” I ask.
“Hold it like that. Rabbits don’t like to be held so tightly, Mia.” I look down at the black rabbit and feel him squirming in my arms. Truth be told, I have never held a rabbit, or any animal for that matter and it was new to me… this feeling of love and adoration for something other than my twin sister, Mina.
“Sorry.” I reply as I loosen my grip and look at her as she takes it from me. You see, Mina likes to control everything. She was the first born of the two of us, by a whole six minutes and she likes to remind me that she is, in fact, older for that reason. Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t so much bother me, but her lack of confidence, in the simplest things when it comes to me, does. She falls in and out of believing that I can do anything and for some reason, I listen to her but more damaging is the fact that I believe her.
“Oh… you will be named Oogie.” Mina whispers to the rabbit as I watch her gently pet its head. She then picks up its twin, held both black rabbits close to her and smiled at me. “And this one will be called, Ogabond.”
I didn’t argue. It wouldn’t do any good anyway. As with most things, she takes the reigns and runs with it, making my usefulness less of a need every single day.
“Where did you come up with those names?” I say as I look at her curiously.
She looks at me as if I am a nuisance more than her carbon copy and sighs. “I don’t know, I guess it just popped into my brain… and they like the names. Don’t you think?” she asks me.
I nod, letting it happen again, the whole ‘Mina decides for both of us thing’. I stand up, watching her turn and place both rabbits back into the metal cage. “Daddy got them for me, for my birthday, but I wanted to share. Ogabond can be yours, I guess.” She latches the cage, turning back to me and crosses her arms over her chest.
“Thanks.” I reply bitterly as I twist my foot into the ground.
“Well, you should be thankful. I mean, today is my birthday. Yours is tomorrow and I have no idea what he got you, but just as I have always said… you shouldn’t get anything.”
I blink a couple of times. Her words stab me in the heart often, but I hate this time of the year. You see, Mina was born on October 30th, 6 minutes before midnight. My Dad could not have been more excited and then, the most horrible thing happened. I came 6 minutes later, at midnight, October 31st and as I came into the world, my Mom died as she bled to death having me.
Mina loves to bring that up every year, the fact that her birthday is a celebration and mine is a day that we all visit my Mom’s grave. Super fun for a birthday, right? No. But we do, just to say Hello and let my Dad sit there. While he sits there, he whispers to the love of his life. The one, who up until me, was fine, but I try to not blame myself. I know I should not, but it’s so hard when I am reminded every single year of that awful night.
You see, my dad is a Wiccan and so was my mom. Wiccans believe in the whole Mother earth thing and with that comes the ‘natural remedies’ to everything. We take herbs, pills packed with home brew and what not. We never go to a doctor of any sort. We eat all natural foods from our garden and we are also home schooled. I can handle the rest, but the lack of friends kind of drives me crazy. I see other kids walking around town, laughing and all. Mina and I spend all of our time here, in a huge house, on top of the hill, overlooking town and I know they think of us more as freaks than normal teenagers. If I had the courage to go anywhere on my own, I would try to change that perception, but I don’t. My Dad likes us to stay isolated and Mina do
es too. She could live her life out here, I think, but I want to see the world. I always have, but they will not let me, I just know it.
“Mia.” Mina grabs my arm, snapping me out of my dream of a new life.
I look at her and she sighs. “You really need to stop going off into your own world, it’s weird and I hate it.”
“Sorry.” I mutter.
Mina looks back at the rabbits, grinning.
“You see how Oogie is all jumping around and happy? And look at Ogabond… all in the corner and acting weird. God, that is so your rabbit, I swear.” she points to the rabbits and looks at me.
I look at Ogabond and feel bad for him. He does look scared and out of place, a lot like me. Oogie is hopping around all happy, like he belongs and what not. This irritates me some, which is new. I usually just let her jabs roll off of me, but for some reason I feel a twinge of anger. She jerks my arm and drags me towards the house, still muttering this and that’s, none of it in my favor of course. She goes on about the rabbits a bit but then settles into all of the things I need to fix about myself, from hair to attitude and so one. I realize I am not like her although by all rights I should be. I mean a twin is a twin regardless of who came first or after. I think of these things as I watch her hand on mind, pulling me along. Her grip so tight on me my hand looks pale but it does not hurt, her touch never does.
We step into the house and I look up, the entry is huge as is the entire house. You would think we had a fortune, and maybe somewhere, buried deep in a secret vault, we do. I would think the house holds just as many secrets as people can. I do believe this house is a living thing. I hear it creak and moan at night as Mina spoons me from behind and I lay wide awake and watch the moonlight skip across the floorboards. I hear everything of course, more than I should, I would say. I mean Mina never complains of the mice in the walls but I hear them scratching and chewing, tearing apart something… food or breathing….
I look up at Mina who grabs the length of my hair in the front and slices the sharp blade of the scissors across it. My deep black hair falls slowly like snow to the floor and I look up at her with bangs, the first I have ever had in my life. She grins and lifts the scissors to her own hair and cuts away and then we match again. I almost wish she had left hers alone and allowed me to be different just once from her. But no, her hair fell to the floor as mine did and laid the scissors down, took my hand and pulled me to the room decked out in childish things. We sit in our room together. Although we have many rooms in this house, Mina has always insisted that we be in one together. As I look around, I sigh again. I look at all the old porcelain dolls, the large doll house my Dad had built and given to Mina five years ago for her birthday. I rub the palms of my hands. Mina turns to me and grins as she approaches me with her arsenal of make-up and I instantly know. I know she is going to do me up, yet again, like a doll. She likes to practice on me and always stabs me in the eye as she puts light blue eye shadow on me. I almost think she does it on purpose, just to hurt me. Mina, although I love her as my sister, has a malicious side and she always gets meaner on this day. Almost as if she hates me. Maybe she should, I don’t know. I never complain though, I just let her brush my hair too hard, do my face and pick out some frilly dress that I itch from.
“God.” Mina jerks the brush through my hair and I wince as I feel her pull some out. I close my eyes and try to focus on something else, anything, but the dulling pain. She holds the brush up and pulls the hair out of it. “Your hair is awful, do you ever brush it?” she asks me.
“I try.” I say in a small voice.
“Not anywhere near enough.” She replies back as she jerks it through my hair again. My eyes water as my scalp burns and my teeth grit. I can hear it in my head. I look up through blurry eyes and see a doll on the shelf. As she continues to torture my already tender scalp, I swear the doll moves slightly. I suck in my breath and jerk my head from her, staring the doll down.
“Oh, please, this is your fault. It would not hurt if you would just brush it on your own. Pathetic.” she mutters as she grabs my head and jerks it back, causing a kink in my neck. I let out a slight noise of pain and she cracks me on the top on my head with the brush’s hard side. Clinching my fists, I stand up. Backing away from her, I stare her down like one would an enemy. She tilts her head and goes from her natural mode of hatred to love in seconds.
“Mia... please. You should let me make you pretty for dinner.” She smiles at me in that most fake way that always tricks me into thinking that she may be nicer than she actually is.
I sigh as she walks to me slowly and touches my face softly. She slowly moves her fingers against my skin and I close my eyes, allowing the touch of someone to fill me. I get nothing from my Father; he does not even hug me. Other than this occasional touch from Mina and her spooning me in the bed at night... this is my affection. Sad as this may seem, I welcome it, because I am lonely and she is all that I have.
I keep my eyes closed and feel my heart beat in my chest. Then I feel it. Mina leans in and kisses me on my lips softly and I let her, as I have so many times before. She lingers for a moment and then she backs away from me. I open my eyes and look at her, or better yet, a prettier version of me, looking back with softer eyes and a slight grin.
“Tonight is special.” she says as she throws herself on our bed and bounces a couple of times on her back.
“I know… it’s your birthday dinner.”
“No… well yes, but tonight we get a visitor… two actually.” she says to me. I tilt my head and wait as my heart beat jumps up in my chest again.
“Visitors?” I ask her.
Mina smiles as she props herself up on her elbows looking around the room. “Friends of Father. In fact, a man and a boy.”
“What?” I ask her, confusion in my voice.
“Isn’t it wonderful? I asked Father if they could come and he said for me, anything.”
“Who?” I ask her curiously.
“Mr. Milan and his son, Jonah.” she replied.
I took a breath as I remembered Jonah and his Father. They had attended a party that my Father had hosted one year here in the house, to mark the 8th anniversary of Mothers passing… completely rendering my birthday obsolete, as usual. But at this party, about 25 people attended and Mr. Milan had come with his son, Jonah, who was 9 at the time and he was beautiful. Jonah, that is. His skin was pale and lips pink, but he did not look sick. He looked more like a doll. I had spoken to him briefly that night. Mina had seen us and interrupted, pulling him away. As she held his arm, walking him out of earshot of me, he glanced back and then she did. She whispered into his ear and he laughed with her. I am certain that she said something mean about me and he had laughed, showing me that Mina was better suited to him. I had wished he had wanted to sit by me, talk to me…pay attention to me as he had to Mina. She has always commanded a room though; it is as if her presence is necessary. Like without her things would not be. I try to swallow the irritation yet again as her voice pulls me back from that night.
“He is coming to see me.” Mina spoke to me, making me snap out of my memory and look at her.
“Of course he is.” I reply.
“He is now.” Mina says as she rolls onto her stomach and hugs one of our many pillows.
“Huh.” I look down at my feet and realize that my shoes are scuffed and old looking.
“Huh? That’s it? Oh my God, Mia…he is coming to court me!” she squealed as she rolls onto her back and smiles at the ceiling.
“Court?” I ask.
“Why yes.” Mina says as she sits up and slaps her hands on the bed. “He loves me Mia.”
“When?” I ask.
“What? When he met me of course!”
I shake my head. “They visited when we were 8.”
Mina stands, her expression returning to that of her old self and she approaches me, leaning into my face.
“I have always been charming, unlike you.” She whispers.
I can fe
el her cold breath on my face as she says these hateful words and then bitterness started to set in, mixed with a slight panic. If Jonah is coming to court Mina, does that mean they would marry? That she would leave me here alone?
“I want you to behave tonight, you hear me? No mumbling… in fact no talking at all… got it?”
I nod my head as she stares me down with a sharp glint in her eyes. She grabs my arm and pushes me back down onto the bed, sitting me up as if I was just a doll, yet again, and starts to brush my hair harder than before. I don’t feel it as the thoughts race through my mind of visitors and a boy, and Mina’s bitter words echo in my head.
“Where will you live?” I ask her as my voice slightly cracks. She pauses with the brush in hand and stars at my shiny black hair, a grin coming across her face.
“Do I detect jealousy from you dear sister?”
I shake my head ‘no’ and she laughs behind me. I feel her leave the bed and she walks around in front of me, brush in hand as she starts to pace the room. My eyes watch her; I mean I always watch her. She is my only friend and honestly, as sad as that seems, I love her. Without her I would not feel strong. She is the mean that binds us. What I mean by that is she is the strength. I most certainly am not anywhere near strong. I cower at the mere thought of saying anything cruel, although the thoughts infiltrate my mind often. I have to wonder if Mina is like Father in her way just vocal. He shows me no attention, in fact if it were not for Mina I doubt he would glance in my direction and even when he does I feel nothing but a chill of a dead heart. I don’t know how I am supposed to apologize for a death I had no control over. I mean how do I do that? How do I tell him that as a baby I obviously did not cause Mother to die and I would mourn her but not having a memory of her kind of renders me useless in that arena. He mourns, often and deep into the night as I lay awake and I hear him crying out her name. A name we never speak of and no one hears despite the walls of a loveless house and a child who caused it.