Boy For Rent

by Mayte Esteban

  “Do you have any contagious illness?”

  “Every winter I get a cold, nothing else.”

  “Work experience?”

  “Well, I’ve been doing this for a while. At the beginning I didn’t really like it, because the directions I got weren’t always clear, and I’d meet a lot of rude people when I got the house wrong... it’s all good now though.”

  “We’ll have to work something out with the clothes, but you’ll do. I think...” The woman lowers the zipper of Javier’s pants and grabs his package when he’s least expecting it. Javier goes pale.

  “Hey, ma’am, what are you doing!”

  “I’m sorry, but I like to know the material I’m working with before I put it on the market.”

  “But you haven’t let me talk! I’m from the ‘Friends of Literature Club’, and I’ve come to bring you your order.”

  “Ah! I thought...” The woman grows embarrassed, and hurries to throw Javier’s form in the waste basket.

  “The boy you want is outside. Are you going to pay me or should I go? It’s twenty euros.”

  “Here’s fifty. Keep the change!”

  Javier leaves the office stunned, almost more because of the tip than because of the embarrassing situation he’s just experienced. The other boy waits impatiently.

  “Man, you said you weren’t going to take long!”

  “I don’t know what kind of work this is, but the lady’s going to feel you up when you least expect it!”

  The other boy starts to laugh. Pili appears and asks the next person to go in. Javier still hasn’t left. He’s putting his coat on, though he’s not exactly cold.

  “What was all that about with your mother?” he asks Pili.

  She laughs at him. “Calm down, buddy! She does it with everyone. But later you get paid. On time and well. Anyway, she’s more dangerous than her clients, I can assure you!”

  “See you later!” Javier gets out of there as fast as he can, not wanting to hear any more on the subject.

  Pili enters the office as soon as her mother has taken the new guy to an adjacent room. Her mother has the bad habit of leaving everything thrown about, and there on the ground, next to the waste basket, are Javier’s papers, half filled-out and with an accompanying photo. Pili completes the form with whatever occurs to her and then files it away. As she does so she smiles, thinking she can convince him to accept a job if one day she should decide to phone him up.

  * * *

  Two weeks later Paula is still overwhelmed. She feels lonely, as well as depressed by the avalanche of information she has to record every day in her notes. This is not what she’d planned on. She’s made friends with another “repeater” like herself, Ana, and together they suffer the torture of studying something they’d never anticipated. They hadn’t thought of this when they were whiling away the days without preparing for university entrance exams. Now they’re experiencing a kind of start of semester depression. Last year they hadn’t known each other, and that class had been harder than the “repeat” version starting a few months ago. Now at least they have each other for support, and they’re starting to become good friends. Ana is as fun as Marta and Raquel are, and crazy ideas are always occurring to her that Paula likes to second.

  “I can’t take this anymore!” says Paula in the break between classes. “All these problems...”

  “Don’t worry,” Ana replies. “Statistics is only unbearable until you begin to understand it.”

  “I’m not talking about statistics. I’m talking about life!” Paula is noticeably sad.

  “What’s going on?” Ana asks, while they take their seats on a bench in the hallway.

  “My dad. He’s decided to get married again. And to make things worse, for some reason I told him I have a boyfriend, and now Dad wants me to bring him to the wedding.”

  Ana, who knows nearly nothing of her friend’s life beyond the university, is surprised.

  “Your parents are divorced?” Ana thinks she remembers Paula talking about her mother once, but never related to any subject having to do with her father. She and Paula have known each other for only a little while and they don’t talk about family often. They talk about boys, books, weekends, clothes, music, shopping, make-up... but family hasn’t come up in their conversations.

  “Yes,” she replies. “I think I was three years old when my father decided that my mother was no longer the love of his life. And so they divorced. Very amicably, it’s true. Since then I’ve gone to one wedding for my mother and two weddings for my father. This will be the third of his I attend, but the fourth in his personal history. The first one produced me, obviously.”

  Ana is astonished. Paula tells her the story like it’s the most normal thing in the world, despite the fact that it doesn’t seem very happy. For Ana, at least, it all sounds strange. Like the script of a television series. Four wives! Her own father had his hands full with one!

  “Then there are my brothers...” Paula continues. She needs to talk to someone today. “I have five. Let me explain. The twins are the sons of Silvia, my father’s first wife after my mother. They’re two really great boys, eleven years old now. Although they’re at the silliest age, they’re charming. I definitely have a weak spot for them. I can’t say the same of my little sisters! They’re the daughters of my father’s third wife, Patricia. One is seven years old and the other five, and from a very young age they’ve been absolutely... Anyway, they’re following in somebody’s footsteps! They have an older sister who breaks records in stupidity. She’s the most superficial human being I’ve known in my life. I call her the ‘mannequin’, but her real name is Susana.”

  “Didn’t you say you have five brothers?” Ana asks. Unconsciously she’s been counting, and it only comes to four. It surprises her that in today’s world someone could have so many brothers. She only has one.

  “As I said, my mother married again, and had another son that’s a little older than the twins. He’s done his own thing ever since he was born, and has turned out to be a real alien! I don’t understand it. His dad is a normal person and the nicest guy in the world, but he’s like this! Sometimes if he feels like it he’ll just stop talking to us. My mother says it’s his age. But she’s been saying that for years. All my life I’ve been waiting for him to behave like a human being, but now I’m beginning to lose hope.”

  “And who are you going to take to the wedding?” asks Ana.

  “Who knows! I don’t have a single male friend I can trust. If it were possible to buy a boy, like a good motorbike or the latest model of a car, I would already have him. My dad would have bought him for me, just like everything else. He does it to put my mother in a bad mood, although when she’s in front of him she hides it. But a boy can’t be bought. No! Better not to even think about it. Anyway, God knows who would be considered suitable for me. I have to find a boy in the next few days, and I don’t even know where to start looking.”

  Ana grows thoughtful. An idea turns over in her mind, and little by little a mischievous smile grow on her lips, the sign that her hyper-active brain is shaping some amusing strategy to help her friend out of a tight spot. Ana and her great ideas. She takes the mobile out of her bag and connects to the internet.

  “Sell... no, they’re not sold. I don’t think it’s legal. But an idea’s occurred to me. You’ll have the solution in a moment.”

  * * *

  Ángel’s room, as always, is in the most perfect disorder. Books share space with dirty clothing, and boots and shoes rest where they’ve been kicked off beneath the computer table. The toy cars don’t have a well-defined place, so they’ve been randomly placed between other things like CDs, mp4s, and DVDs. There are also drawers with things that according to him hold memories, although he’s forgotten what exactly those memories are. But despite the junk everywhere and the photos stuck up without method on the walls, memories of fun nights and unforgettable days, it’s a welcoming space.

  “Javier, you’re the
biggest idiot I know. How could you even think of taking the job after what that lady did to you?” asks Ángel.

  “It wasn’t her that called me, it was her daughter. She’s confident I’ll be able to do it well. What’s so bad about it anyway? This way I’m sure to end up going out with some girl. And they’re going to pay me for it.” He throws himself in the bed, provoking a look of disgust from Ángel, who by this point in the friendship has stopped trying to explain how much he hates Javier lying in his bed. Although Ángel’s mentioned it thousands of times, with Javier things go in one ear and out the other.

  “Sure! You think your first day of work will be accompanying Giselle Bündchen because she doesn’t have anyone to go out with in Madrid. No, what will happen is that you’ll get stuck with an unbearable old lady who will feel you up against your will, just like with the woman you delivered the books to. And she’ll have every right, because she’ll have paid! That’s assuming they don’t saddle you with a guy...”

  “Man, you don’t have to be so pessimistic. Don’t be so dramatic! And don’t worry about guys. Pili made it very clear: no guys whatsoever.”

  Ángel can’t shake his astonishment. Javier has never been very sensible, but in the last few weeks it seems like his common sense has definitely taken a few days of vacation.

  “What I can’t explain is what she saw in you! Besides being the most boring guy on the planet, you’re horribly ugly.”

  “Come on, man. I know I’m not as handsome as you, but we’re friends.”

  “To think you’re handsome one needs to be your grandma, not your friend!” says Ángel.

  “That’s not important in this job. Before the action starts, Pili will fix me up a bit at the agency. Look, they took this photo of me the other day, and told me that next time I come they’ll cut my hair a different way. The truth is, I need it. It’s a way to save money. My dad cut off my allowance. He said we can talk when I pass the course. And since I know I’m not going to pass, I need a job. Sociology won’t get me anywhere. I have to open up new horizons!”

  In the photos Javier isn’t recognizable. They’ve dressed him in a radically different way from his usual dishevelment, and the lights used for the photos, just like the change of clothing, have worked a miracle. Even Ángel has to recognize that Pili is a genius behind the camera.

  “I just feel sorry for the poor girl who gets stuck with you.” Ángel still can’t get over the idea that Javier has accepted the job at the agency offering boys for rent. “To start with, the business isn’t completely legal, and even if it were, you never know who you might get assigned.”

  “Why don’t you come with me to the agency one day? Maybe they’ll have a place for you,” Javier suggests.

  “Me?” Ángel says. “In your dreams! Only one of us can be crazy. If I don’t stay a little grounded for you, you’ll lose every connection with reality and begin to float away through those clouds in your head. Just be grateful someone’s here to keep you down to earth.”

  “It’s true, man. You’re a real drag!” Javier says, and begins to punch him playfully, just like he’s done since they first became friends.

  * * *

  Ana, after navigating to the “contact” page, finds what she’s looking for. No one is better than her at finding things on the internet.

  “Look, here they are.” She points to the advertisements at the end of the screen. In appearance they’re perfectly legal matrimonial agencies.

  “But I don’t want to get married! Why would I want a matrimonial agency?” exclaims Paula, surprised.

  “They aren’t what they appear. It’s only an advertising trick to justify them legally. A friend of my sister’s hired a boy at one of these agencies to make her boyfriend jealous. That scumbag had cheated on her. But even worse, besides being a scumbag, the guy got angry really easily, and the rented boy ended up with a black eye. The girl’s friends all had to chip in to lend her something, because if you return the guy in bad shape you have to pay damages.”

  “Just like when you rent a car and it breaks! It’s crazy! How can things like this exist?... And was the guy okay?” asks Paula. Curiosity gets the better of her, and she begins to think that maybe it isn’t such a bad idea to rent someone for a few hours. That way she can get out of this mess. It’s that or tell the truth, and the truth isn’t appealing.

  “My sister told me that if she’d actually known him, she would have stayed with the rented guy instead of the boyfriend.”

  “Give me the telephone! The wedding isn’t for a few days, and I have to know how much money this little joke will cost me.”

  The two friends get to work. In a short time they know the cost of covering Paula’s blunder of lying to her parents, and calculate that this solution is possible. In the end the two agree that even if someone realizes and doesn’t swallow the story, at least it will be an adventure they can laugh about afterward. A good story for their hallway chats at the university.

  The following class will be really unbearable, so they decide to skip it. It makes them happy to leave the building whenever they can, and they do so with no regrets on their conscience. The difference at the end of the semester will be insignificant. Today they’ll go shopping at the mall.

  “Of all our classes, these are the ones I learn the most from!” Paula grows enthusiastic as she puts on her coat. She doesn’t look before doing so and knocks her fist into the eye of a classmate entering the room at that same moment.

  “Christ, what a blow!” he protests, while he covers his face with his hands.

  “Sorry! Didn’t see you. Are you okay?” Paula blushes. She doesn’t talk much with the boys from class. In reality she doesn’t talk much with boys in general. It isn’t something she really knows how to do.

  “A little, but I think I’ll survive,” he says.

  “Sorry again! I have to go.” She leaves the class in a rush, followed by Ana. “How embarrassing!”

  “Don’t apologize, you could have given him another! That’s the biggest joker in the class, and when he tells his group of friends, we won’t go unnoticed any longer. They’ll talk about us, not because we’re the most attractive girls, but because we’re the most ridiculous.”

  * * *

  In the afternoon Javier contemplates his image in the mirror. He doesn’t think he’s going to discover anything new, because he’s looked at himself hundreds of times in the last few days. But something makes him stop one more time. What he sees surprises him. There, on the other side of the reflection, is a different boy. It’s not the same one that always makes a mess of things.

  Javier’s problem is not that he has no idea what the rest expect of him. It’s that others see only one side of him, and there’s a lot he isn’t capable of showing.

  “Are you sure this is what you want to do?” his inner self says. He’s not sure if he asks out loud or just imagines it.

  “No. I don’t even know why I paid attention to Pili.” His external self, for the first time, is sincere. Even if it’s just with the bathroom mirror.

  “It’s not too late to get out. Nobody will say anything. No contract has been signed. You’re still not committed.”

  “But this might be my chance. Don’t you realize that girls aren’t interested in me? I’m left alone every weekend while my friends go off with them. I’m not worth it.

  “I think you’re a guy nobody’s taken the time to get to know.”

  “This way at least I’ll get some practice!”

  “And why don’t you do something else instead?” His inner self seems to have all the questions ready that Javier doesn’t dare formulate.

  “What do you want me to do?” It’s strange, but even though he’s asking for advice from himself he receives an answer.

  “I want you to take off that clown costume and be your real self. The self you hide from the world.”

  “But every time I let you out, things go badly!” He turns on the tap and begins to throw water at the mir
ror. He wants to erase his reflected image. It’s tiring to think out loud. “Go away! I don’t want to see you again.” Javier is furious. He hears a voice on the other side of the bathroom.

  “Is something going on?” his father asks.

  “No, Dad! I cut myself shaving, that’s all.”

  Javier turns his head so his father can hear him through the door, taking his eyes off the mirror for a moment. When he looks back, the face reflected is the same one as always. Without nuances that make him suspect the other has been there. It seems that his inner self has gone and left him in peace for the moment.

  * * *

  Paula exchanges emails with the agency several times over the next few days, and finally they come to an agreement. The guy that they’ll send will go pick her up at her house, and he’ll be with her until midnight. Afterward, if for whatever reason he stays, the night fee will begin to take effect. The fee isn’t lower at night like with an electric company. Just the opposite.

  “Until midnight? Like in Cinderella?” asks Ana, who is just as involved in the adventure as her friend.

  “Right! I hope he doesn’t run away, or lose a slipper. Look, Ana... the worst part of all this is that since my monthly allowance is what Dad feels like, I don’t have any money left, and I still don’t have a dress for the wedding. Can you lend me something until I can pay you back? I’ll return it the minute this is all over. I can’t ask for it from anyone else without them asking me why. And it doesn’t seem like the time for explanations.”