Down to the Bone

by Mayra Lazara Dole

  She slams the door in my face. I gulp down pain and it settles in my stomach.

  I get home and tell Soli what happened. Soli confides in me. “The night your mom kicked you out, I heard through the grapevine that somebody left an anonymous letter at your front door. It said you couldn’t go to any of your neighbors’ houses again because their children ‘need to be protected from turning homosexual.’ They signed their names in X’s. Your neuro mom had a fit.”

  I can’t bear the memories any longer and bail.

  I feel like I’m blindfolded, riding through a dark tunnel, in search of light. Out of nowhere, a taxi hits the back wheel of my bike.

  Bang! Crash!

  My bike is skidding out of control and I can’t stop it! It’s spinning around and around and it slides into a sidewalk and wham! I hit a post. I look at my arms and body. I’m still alive and in one piece. I’m on the ground, holding my aching stomach. I’m so nauseous I feel like throwing up. There’s blood on my left shoulder, where my jacket was torn. I cover my eyes with my arm.

  The passenger in the taxi runs to me. “You okay?”

  “My shoulder,” I answer, looking up at him.

  “Don’t worry. I called nine-one-one. That idiotic driver almost got us killed.” He blinks nervously. “You’re lucky you didn’t get run over. Don’t move, stay put, in case you’ve broken something.”

  ***

  At the emergency room I give the nurse my home number and she calls Soli and Viva. I don’t feel like seeing my mom right now. She’ll just be upset about my riding a bike late at night. She might ask me a million questions about London because she’s like a spy and will sniff trouble. I don’t need the extra pressure. And besides, I don’t want Pedri to worry.

  I have a bandaged, scratched-up left shoulder, a swollen bump on my left thigh, and an archipelago of scratches and bruises on my legs. But I can move my left arm, and I didn’t break anything. My bike is an accordion, though.

  Soli speeds into the room like a locomotive with a new guy, and Tazer trails behind them.

  “Shyly, what happened?” She kisses my forehead, uncovers me, and scrutinizes my body to make sure I’m okay. She takes my hand to her heart. “You all right?”

  “I’m fine—just this.” I shrug my bandaged shoulder.

  Tazer searches my face. “You look like you’re still in one piece.” He covers me with the bed sheet.

  Soli purses my lips together by holding my cheeks, and smacks me a big one. Muuua! She faces the new guy with a gleam in her eye. “Paublo, this is Shai.”

  Soli’s new boy is a husky, short-haired, sort of conservative-looking guy. I find it odd that his hair isn’t spiky, he’s not in black leather, and he doesn’t have a tongue ring or silver earring hoops, the way Soli normally likes them. I’m sure his arms aren’t filled with tattoos, either.

  “Hey, Shai,” he whispers in a deep sensual voice. “I met you at Viva’s birthday party. Remember?”

  “Yeah, hi.” How could I forget Gorgeous Godzilla among a room full of girls? This guy could easily be a spokesperson for a modeling agency or a university, since he’s severely good looking and speaks perfect English.

  “I’ve just stayed away. You know.” He looks to Soli. “She was dating Diego.” He grins. “I can’t wait until you get better so we can all spend some time together.” He pats my hand. “Excuse me. I need to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

  Tazer sits on the corner of my bed and stares at me, as if I were a painting. He breathes in and lets go of a big exhalation. I can tell he’s relieved nothing happened to me. I appreciate the fact he’s here. I’d be there for him, too. He texts Elicia to let her know I’m fine.

  “Isn’t Paublo a hunk?” Soli squeezes my hand “Shyly, he’s the hottest and most brilliant guy I’ve ever gone out with. He’s in U of M medical school, studying to become a doctor. Do I look sexy? Shylypop, look at me.” Soli takes a spin. Her tight spandex red minidress sticks to her curves like a corset. Her large breasts spill out of the top. It could be snowing and she’d still be wearing her minidresses.

  “You look as if you just came from taking your first holy communion.” She lifts an eyebrow and releases a thunderous laugh. I throw her a piercing stare. “I can’t believe you dumped Diego.” I clear my throat. “I really liked him. Paublo’s a great catch, but you’re an ass to just get rid of Diego from one second to the next.” I’m pissed she threw Diego away like an old rag even if this guy has a brighter future. I know what that’s like.

  She whispers into my ear. “Diego dumped me, but I don’t want to talk about it now. Later.” Her voice rises. “Damn, Shyly, I’m such a jerk. Here I am talking about my life and you almost got killed. You okay? Is there anything I can get you?” I shake my head no. “I went to pick up Tazer as soon as I heard. If anything ever happened to you I’d die. I mean it.” She takes my hand. Tears well up in her eyes. Eyeliner drips down her face, leaving long streaks. “I know I’m a pain, but I can’t live without you. I’m so glad you’re alive.”

  I pull her toward me. “I can’t live without you either, Hootchi Momma. You’re my sister for life.” And it’s true. I can’t imagine my life without Soli.

  “When you coming back home?”

  “Tomorrow. They want to keep me for observation. My head got slammed around a lot. My helmet’s all banged up.” I point to my cracked and warped helmet on the chair.

  “Shit!” they both belt out.

  There’s a loud racket in the hall. Viva whizzes in like a tornado. Gabriel trails behind her.

  “Shylita, thank all my santos you be alive!” She fills my face with besitos. “¡Ave María Purísima! ¡Gracias, Dios!” She makes the sign of the cross on her chest. “I call your Mami to tell her what happened. She not home. And thee message machine be not working.”

  “I didn’t want to tell her, Vivalini. I’m fine. Please don’t call her again.”

  She hands me the cutest stuffed gray and orange polka-dotted elephant.

  I kiss the tip of Viva’s round nose. “What? They didn’t have a stuffed saint?” I cuddle the smiley elephant in my arms.

  Viva gives out a sweet smile. “Uy, Shylita . . . you is always eating what thee chickens nibble. When frogs grow hairs and birds grow teeth, you will estop being such a pain in thee butt.” Her tiny birdseed eyes slant. “The elefantico is Ganeshito, the Indian God, who opens paths when they is closed.”

  Gabriel leans over and gives me a soft peck on the cheek. He winks at me and tells me in Spanish, “Glad you are okay, mijita. If there is anything I can do for you, let me know. Gabriel Eufemio Fernandez is here at your service.”

  I’m ecstatic he and Viva are together. He’s got to be the kindest little old man in the world. It’s just odd that he’s Diego’s dad and he’ll soon meet Paublo. I hope he won’t feel hurt.

  I take hold of his tubby hand and squeeze it. “Thanks.”

  Viva can’t keep her trap shut. “My goodness, Shylita, you is going to kill me of a heart attack. Don’t drive a bicycle on the streets no more, mijita. You and Soli Luna never listen to me. Uy, mi madre. Is you feeling okay, Shylita?”

  “I’ll live. My only problem is that I can’t pinch your culito till my wrist and arm heal.”

  Viva points to the heavens. “This is a punishment from God. He no want you pinching my butt no more.” I pinch her butt. “¡Uy, Dios mío! ¡Santísimo sacramento!” Her eyes veer up to the ceiling. “Thanks so much, my espíritus y santos for not letting anything happen to my Shylita.”

  “I’m going to take you to Hollywood, Vivalini. You’ll make Salma Hayek look as if she needs acting classes.”

  Paublo comes back all smiles. He shakes everyone’s hand as he’s introduced as Soli’s friend. I wonder if Gabriel knows Diego broke it off with Soli. He must. His expression is wilted.

  London unexpectedly walks in with a hurried stride. “Viva called me and told me you were here. Are you okay?”

  “Barely alive,” I g
oof.

  He hands me a bouquet of red roses. As he comes to kiss my lips, I gently turn my face and kiss his cheek. I know exactly where I’m headed, and I don’t want to lead him on.

  I take a whiff of the flowers and smile. “They’re so pretty. Thanks.”

  Viva and Soli hug him. He shakes Tazer’s and Gabriel’s hands and they pat each other on the back. He reaches Paublo. “Hey, man, what’s going on?”

  Soli explains to us, “Paublo cuts his hair with me or London, depending on who has less clients at the time.” They all talk as Soli leans into me and whispers into my ear, “I miss Diego so much.”

  I do to her what she did to me when I was missing Marlena at Papaya’s. “Forget about him, girl. I’m taking you to a club so you can meet lots of other guys right away. No wonder you look like you’re going to a funeral in that dress.” I roll my eyes. “I didn’t realize you were grieving.”

  She squeezes the tip of my nose. “Shylypop, you’re such a dildo. I guess it’s payback time, huh?” I nod.

  I squeeze her hand and whisper to her, “Sorry, Soli. I know it sucks. I’m here for you.”

  Soli and London talk about doing a girl’s hairdo for her fifteenth birthday party. My mind drifts off to Soli’s quinces.

  “Remember when your mom spent her entire savings just to buy your gown?”

  “You had a quinces?” Tazer grins.

  “Thanks a lot, Shyly,” Soli complains and lets go of my hand.

  Tazer bugs her. “You don’t look like the traditional type. You’re just waaaaaay too hip for that.”

  “Well . . .” I keep talking even if Soli’s going to be really pissed at me. “A month later, Soli wanted to burn her old fashioned quinces photo album. She said, ‘I’m sick and tired of Mima showing it around the barrio, at work and to people she’s never even met.’” I put on my best impersonation of Soli and her lively, sexy voice. “‘I’m going to burn those suckers to a crisp. Shyly, I swear on all the saints, if any of my friends see these pictures I’ll kill myself. Mima won’t find out. She thinks they’re stashed away in the closet.’ Remember, Soli?”

  “How could I forget if you’re always reminding me?”

  “I told Soli she was nuts to want to burn the pics, since the memory wasn’t recorded on a DVD. I said I’d keep them for her and one day, when we’re viejitas, we’ll crack up looking at them. But she wouldn’t let me have them.”

  “I’ve got to see them, please!” Paublo begs. “Where are they?”

  “No way!” Soli booms.

  Viva has on a wicked smile. “I show you. I keep them in a secret place at home.”

  “Sí.” Gabriel smiles. “She already showed me.” He kisses the tips of his fingers all at once. “Soli Luna looked glorious, like a saint in heaven.”

  I crack up at the thought of Soli with a halo around her head. She pinches my stomach and I smack her hand.

  I go on. “That day, Soli showed me the album and said, ‘Shyly, swear to me you’ll never, ever, ever tell anyone you’ve seen these pictures. If you do, I’ll never talk to you again.’ Remember, Soli?” I love to tease her.

  “Yes. You swore to la Vírgen María, Shyly, but I didn’t realize you didn’t believe in her at the time!”

  She’s right. I got away with a lot when I swore on saints and virgins I think are part of a religious myth.

  I look at Paublo. “Soli’s quinces was the first in the history of our culture without teens. The only way she would have the party was if no one our age was invited. She told her mom, ‘Mima, if you invite any of my friends, I swear to God, I’ll take off the gown and run away from home!’”

  Soli and Viva reminisce. “Yeah, the party was filled with Mima’s adult barrio and work friends who don’t even know how to use a cell to take a picture.”

  “But knowing Shai,” Tazer says, “she just had to show up, right?”

  “I like a good challenge,” I admit. “She banned me from her party, so what else could I do but show up? When she saw me, she snatched my cell and yelled, ‘Why’d you do this to me? Leave now! Don’t look at me, I look like a clown in this dress!’”

  We laugh heartily. Soli’s good mood is back. “Hey. Remember your quinces?” She’s trying to get back at me.

  “Oh, god! Who could ever forget?” I don’t mind talking about my tacky quinces.

  “Her mom and uncles went into debt just to throw her a wild party.” Soli puts her whole body into her explanation. “She was lowered from a helicopter into the street in front of her yard. Her ball gown was pink and ruffled with sequins. It was so wide she didn’t fit through the front door. She had to be pushed inside!”

  “That’s true!” I crack up.

  Soli keeps on. “Her aunts, uncles, and cousins came from Hialeah and Spain, just for the event. Her uncle led her into a huge pink shell glued with fake pearls and sequins. Later on, a white horse galloped in and she sat on it for photographs!”

  “What a scene that was!” I can’t stop laughing.

  “I’m glad my dad never made me change my ways and have me behave like a sissy Cuban girl,” Tazer says. “I would’ve died if he’d forced me to have a quinces. Can you imagine me in a puffy quinces dress?” Everyone bursts out laughing. “But still, I’d love to see those pictures.”

  “Definitely!” London and Paublo agree.

  Viva holds on to Gabriel’s hand with one hand. With a rosary in her other hand, she grabs on to my right hand, praying silently over me. Soli sits on the bed holding my left hand. Tazer sits on the corner of the bed staring into my eyes and smiling, as only a good friend can. London stands beside me. Paublo hangs around looking at me with a sweet face. He keeps asking me, “Are you sure you don’t want anything? Any coffee or food from the cafeteria?” I guess I can like him after all.

  Most of us have people in our lives who come and go; some are far in the distance and don’t matter at all, but I’ve found a bunch I can’t live without. I look to Soli, Viva, London, Gabriel and Tazer. I wish Diego was here too. I feel a warm sensation in my body, like I used to feel when Papi hugged me. For a long time now, people I’ve loved have hated me for no reason at all. These folks love me and I love them back. In a strange way, I feel renewed, as if a drastic transformation is coming, as if I know I can make my life into something terrific.

  19—Silence Shouts

  It’s a glisteningly bright November morning, but inside me, it feels like spring is bursting out in full bloom. I see it from every direction, leaping like a gazelle through the bushes, in wild colors. The world around me smells like mango fruit salad and tart green apples. I’m alive and everything is stunning and glistening. It seems as if such a long time since I was suffering and conflicted. I’m sure my whole world will change for the better. I know exactly what I need to do to make my life fantastic. And I’m going to get it done right away!

  Today we’re starting on the front yard of a large landscape job in a ritzy Miami Beach mansion. Marco forced me to take the week off to heal, and I did. I shopped around for a new bike and helmet. Marco wants me to be careful with my shoulder, so I’ll sketch the back landscape, while the crew works up front.

  London decided to take his two-week vacation from work early, starting last week, thinking he’d spend time with me at his place. Soli and other haircutters split the customers he’d booked, and everyone gave him the thumbs-up. He didn’t pay attention to what I said about us being just friends. When I wouldn’t budge, he left with his uncle for the Bahamas on a fishing trip. His last words to me were, “I won’t be calling or texting you so you can see how much you’ll miss me. When I arrive, things’ll be back to normal and hotter than ever.”

  I get to work with a juicy grin, not having seen the old crew for a long while. I hug everyone, and just as I’m about to kiss El Tigre’s face, a black vehicle screeches up to the curb and Marlena climbs out of it. My heart skips beats. She sits on the hood of the car and looks to me with a loving expression in her eyes and a wide smile.


  I avert my eyes but do a double take when everyone, especially Che, talks about the beautiful girl. “Man, she’s blazing. Look at those sexy lips and curvy hips. Just looking at her is making me horny.”

  I park my new red mountain bike with tall handlebars next to a tree wondering what she wants. She stopped texting and trying to get ahold of me, so I figured she’d never contact me again.

  Che comes to me and spits out, “That’s my dream girl. Do you know her?”

  “Yes, but she’s married.”

  “That never stopped me.” He snickers.

  “¡Hola!” Marco drives into the driveway. I stand up straight and try to act calm and collected. “Everyone get to work, except Shai.” They leave and I walk to Marco. I’m not sure what to do or say. I’m still acting as if I haven’t seen Marlena. If she wants to talk, she’s going to have to come to me.

  We get to the backyard. “Marlena is here. She came to say hello. When we’re done, go see her. I told her last night not to bother you until you’re on a break, but she came early anyway. You know how she is. She better not distract you from work. This is a very important client. He’s the president of my bank. I really need your talent, especially this week. We’ve got several mansions to attack. Stay focused.”

  “I will.”

  Marco takes out his thick colorful plant, tree and shrub book and leafs through it. I grab my sketchpad, charcoal and colored pencils from inside my bag. “Our client wants shade, color and many exotic palms in the front.” He shows me pictures of the plants we can use. “Let’s give them a Southern magnolia tree over there,” he points to the spot, “and a live oak north of it by the side of the house.”

  My heart keeps pounding fast.

  I nervously sketch the three-story mansion with shaky hands, and paint the magnolia with heavily overlapping large leaves and the live oak with tons of tiny vivid green leaves.