by Ivy Jordan
There was a knock on my door and I realized that I had once again drifted to my Harper thoughts. I shook my head to rid myself of her image.
“Come in.”
The woman that walked into my office was beautiful. Francis was another professor in my department. She was smart, and stunning, and every guy had their eyes on her. I’d considered asking her out when she had first joined, but she’d had a boyfriend then. Rumor was that they had broken up a few weeks ago, and I wondered who would be the first to ask her out. She had long brown hair, all the way down to her slender waist, and big brown eyes. She looked like a model, and I always laughed when I pictured the poor students trying to concentrate in class when she was giving a lecture.
“Oh, hi, Francis. Come on in.”
She walked in carrying two takeout cups of coffee and handed one to me. “I was walking by and thought you might want a cup.”
“Oh that’s nice of you. Thank you. I’ve had my head in the books all morning so this is well needed. How are you? Happy to be back after the break?”
She shrugged. “I guess so. I… well, I’m not sure if you heard but Gary and I broke up.”
I nodded. “I did. You know what it’s like here. People talk. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t sure if I should say anything. I didn’t want you think everyone was talking about you.”
“Even though they clearly were,” she said and laughed.
I laughed too, glad she saw the funny side of it. “Yeah. It’s amazing how much people like to talk. Anyway, are you okay?”
“I’m okay. So, what are they saying? Tell me the stories. This should be good.”
“Well, apparently he dumped you via Skype. That’s the one I heard. The other story involves you leaving him for someone at the school but nobody knows who it is so everyone is on the lookout.”
She laughed. “Seriously? Wow, two very different and two very wrong stories. Neither of us really broke up with each other. I mean, it was a mutual decision. A very nice breakup, and very civil. We’re still friends. In fact, the breakup was so boring that it’s kind of refreshing to hear all these stories. I wonder who made up the Skype one; it’s so random. As for the other one, it makes sense to me now. I get funny looks whenever I talk to a man. I just thought people were feeling sorry for me because of the breakup. I didn’t know they were all trying to figure out who the next guy is.”
“I heard for a while that it was Mack.”
She laughed. Mack was a much older professor, with gray hair and grey blazers. Everything about him was gray, right down to his bland demeanor. “Mack? Oh, I’m going to have to keep that rumor going. That’s hilarious. I’m going to make sure I have an audience next time I’m talking to him. I’ll be a little flirty.”
“You have to do that! The funny thing is that Mack won’t even know that you’re flirting with him. I’m not sure if that guy has ever flirted in his life.”
Francis chuckled. “Poor Mack. Although, I hope nobody saw me coming in here because that’s going to start a whole new rumor then.”
I shrugged. “Oh, let them talk. I’m so used to having rumors spread about me that I don’t even think about it anymore. It doesn’t last very long before they move onto the next person.”
“That’s true. So, what sort of rumors have been spread about you?”
“I also had an affair with Mack once,” I said and she almost spat out her coffee from surprise. I laughed. “I don’t mean I really had one. But that was the story that was going around for a while.”
She shook her head in amazement. “Oh, poor Mack. That guy really gets around, doesn’t he? What made them think that?”
“Oh who knows? Sometimes I think it’s just one guy who starts it off as a joke and tries to see how far he can spread it. I’ve also been married. I’ve been dumped. I’ve been gay. All sorts.”
“And now you’ll probably be with me.”
“It’s all part of working at a college. Although it would be even worse at a high school. The younger kids are all a lot more graphic in their rumors.”
“Well, we could give them something to talk about,” she said and grinned at me.
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, you’re hopeless. What I’m trying to say, and completely without any articulation at all apparently, is that we could go out on a date tonight. That will get them talking and hopefully throw them off the Mack angle.”
“Date?” I said in surprise.
She sighed. “Travis, you really make it hard for a girl to flirt with you, you know. Yeah, a date. I don’t see why not. We’re both good-looking and single.”
I laughed. “You’re certainly good-looking. I’m not sure about the other way around.” I knew I wasn’t a bad looking guy. I’d been told on many occasions that I was good-looking. But I didn’t think I had anything on Francis.
“Oh come on. If you’re fishing for compliments you’ve come to the right place. I happen to think you’re gorgeous. I’m not the only one too. Do you have any idea how much your students like you? They’re always giggling every time you walk past.”
I laughed. “I’m sure they’re not giggling because of that. They probably think I’m ridiculously old or something.”
“No, trust me. I’ve heard the talk. They think you’re very good-looking. Even more so after this holiday you’ve been on. I don’t know what you did but a month away has been very good to you. You’ve come back toned and tanned. You must tell me your secret. Anyway, I’ve always thought you were good-looking. And you’re a nice guy. It’s not often that those two traits come together. But up until now I haven’t been looking to date anyone. Now that I’m single again, I figured I’d come and ask you.”
I was completely taken aback. I was sure that I would’ve said yes to her had she asked me out a few months ago, but something had changed since the holiday. I knew she was good-looking, but the attraction I’d had before had suddenly disappeared. I now looked at her as a friend and I knew that there was nothing else. It was strange how quickly it had changed. I could recognize that she was beautiful but there was not even a single part of me that wanted to get up and kiss her. I knew, without a doubt, that my heart wouldn’t be in it. My heart was with someone else now and it would take a while to stop feeling that way.
I smiled. “Thank you so much. I’m pretty shocked and definitely very flattered.”
“Uh-oh… I sense a rebuttal coming up.”
“I’m sorry, Francis. You’re gorgeous and I’ve most definitely thought about you that way before. It’s just… well… I’ve been through a bit of stuff lately. Some emotional stuff I don’t want to get into right now, and I’m just not ready to date yet. It might take me a while until I’m ready. I hate doing this but I’d rather just be upfront and honest about it.”
“Are you okay?” she asked. “I have noticed that you’ve been a bit quiet since you back. A little more solemn than usual.”
“I’m fine. I’ll be fine at least. I’m just… I’m not really going to date for a while.”
“You know, maybe now is the perfect time to date. Maybe you need someone to take your mind off everything, and I am more than happy to be that person.”
“I don’t think that would be wise. I’m not ready for a relationship right now,” I said.
She laughed. “Who said anything about a relationship? I also don’t want one of those. Hell, I’ve just come out of one. Right now I’m just looking for a bit of fun. Come on, let’s go on a date. We can drink too much wine and do things that we might regret the next day. Maybe we need this.”
I almost said yes. It was certainly very tempting. Perhaps a quick fling was exactly what I needed to get my mind off everything. But I couldn’t do that to Francis, nor could I do it to myself. I’d feel too guilty. I needed a bit more time to get over Harper, and it wasn’t going to happen this easily. Also, no matter how much we tried to pretend like it could all just be a bit of fun without getting hurt, I knew it wouldn’t be. We worked
together and I saw her often. The last thing I wanted was for things to get awkward between us.
“You have no idea how tempting that sounds. But I think I need a bit of time alone to figure things out. I’m so sorry. I cannot believe I’m turning you down. I will probably regret this one day but right now I think it’s the right thing to do for me.”
She smiled. “You’re a good guy, Travis. That was probably one of the best refusals I’ve ever had.”
“I do not believe that a guy has refused you before. Surely I’m the only idiot out there.”
“Ah, you’d be surprised, Travis. You’d be surprised. Anyway, let’s not make this weird now between us. I’m still glad I came to talk to you. I really hope that you start to feel better soon. I don’t know what’s happened but you’re a good guy and you deserve to be happy.”
Good guy? I wasn’t so sure about that anymore. “Thank you. And thanks for asking me out. If anything, it at least help boost my ego a bit. For what it’s worth, I would’ve said yes to you if this had been a few months ago.”
“Oh, well, it looks like I’ll have to go after my plan B, then.”
“Plan B? Who is that?”
“Mack, of course!” she said and we both laughed.
When she left the office, I dropped my head to my desk in frustration. I could not believe that I had just turned down one of the most beautiful women at work. And why? All because of a woman I would probably never see again. I really was an idiot.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Harper
I called Jillian.
“Lunch. Now!”
“Uh-oh. This sounds serious. I’ll be right there. Usual place?”
“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes,” I said and hung up.
After finding out about Travis, I now had to talk to someone about it—to confide—and there was nobody better to talk to than my best friend. I was grateful that she didn’t tell me that she couldn’t meet. I would go insane if I didn’t talk to someone. I grabbed my coat and headed out to our favorite lunch spot. We always met at the same place whenever we had an urgent meeting, away from the prying ears of others. We loved trying new restaurants and sampling new menus, but when all we wanted to do was talk, then Café Rose was the place to go. It was one of the first places we’d gone to when we became friends and had simply turned into our meeting place. It was a small café, down a little alleyway and tucked away from the main street. Not many people knew about it so I always knew we would get a table without having to book. The food was good and the coffee was great. We always ordered the same thing so that we didn’t waste any precious talking time.
I found a table and placed our order. I wasn’t even sure if I’d be able to eat but I ordered the sandwiches anyway. Jillian arrived moments later and smiled as the waitress arrived with our coffees.
“I ordered already; I hope you don’t mind,” I said to her after she gave me a hug hello.
“Of course not,” she said. “It’s not like you needed to ask me what I wanted. I’m actually glad you called. I’m starving. Now, tell me everything. What’s going on?”
I sighed. “Thanks for coming, Jill. And thanks for coming so quickly. I appreciate it. I needed someone talk to you. I… I talked to Travis.”
“Uh oh… is this good news or bad news? I can’t tell.”
“That’s probably because I honestly have no idea myself. I called and talked to Allison. I asked her if I could talk to Travis, but she said he wasn’t there. Apparently he went home weeks ago. She seemed pretty surprised that I didn’t know that.”
She frowned. “Home? What do you mean? I thought he was home.”
“Yeah, you and me both. As it turns out, Travis is not the man we thought he was. He’s not quite the cowboy that we had pegged him to be.”
“What do you mean? What is he then?”
“He’s a college professor in Washington, D.C. . This seriously intelligent city guy.”
“Huh? I don’t understand. Isn’t Mike his brother? Don’t they work there? I mean, he was the one showing us around the whole time. He must work there.”
“Yeah, Mike is his brother, but Mike’s the only one that works there. Mike and Allison. Travis only grew up there. He went to visit them and decided to help out with the group. We all just assumed he worked there full-time. But he doesn’t.”
“Hang on a second,” Jillian said as she tried to absorb the information. “Travis is a college professor who lives in Washington? That is not at all the impression we got of him. So why didn’t he tell us that? It’s not like it’s something to be ashamed of. That’s something he should be proud of.”
I shrugged. “I guess we never asked. I mean, I just assumed he worked there.”
“Yeah but he had plenty opportunities to tell us otherwise. He might not have told us that he worked there but he sure as hell didn’t tell us that he worked as a professor. He was always mocking us for being city girls. Hell, you spent two days alone with him. I’m sure you did lots of talking. He could’ve mentioned it then.”
I sighed. I’d thought about that a lot myself. I’d tried to remember if I had ever asked him about his life at the ranch. I was sure that I had. I did, however, remember a lot of times when I felt like he was hiding something. It all made sense now. “Yeah, I know. I don’t know what to think. Part of me is angry at him, and part of me is angry at me.”
“Why the hell would you be angry at yourself though? You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Well, maybe I did. I mean… Allison said that maybe he just thought I wanted a bit of a holiday fling with a cowboy. She said that the fact that I was so into him probably made him think that I wouldn’t have been that keen if I knew the truth. She thinks that he was so in love with me that he was scared I would turn around and say that I didn’t want to be with the real him. I don’t know if that’s true though. I’m not even sure if he was in love with me at all.”
“That doesn’t excuse it though. No,” she said and shook her head. “That doesn’t excuse it at all. The guy lied to us. He lied to you. Look, I know without a doubt that he really liked you. I mean, Barry was telling me how the guy couldn’t stop looking at you when he thought that nobody was watching him. If he liked you so much, he should’ve told you the truth. Not pretend like he’s some cowboy. That’s not cool.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I know. But…”
“But you aren’t mad at him because you’re in love with him, right?”
I looked at Jillian and sighed. She knew me too well. She hit the nail on the head. I was in love with Travis, and there was no point denying it.
“Yeah. And I really went on and on about how nice it was to be with a guy like him for a change. No wonder he thought I wouldn’t like him if I knew the truth. I feel awful. Sure, he did wrong, but we all make mistakes. Hell, Thomas made some horrible mistakes when you first met. And when he dumped you. But the two of you worked things out. I feel like we were maybe both in the wrong. And maybe once he started the lie he didn’t know how to tell me the truth.”
“Well, yeah. I mean, I guess we’re only human. And… well, I have never seen you as happy as you were when you spoke about Travis. I’ve hated seeing you so down these past few weeks. So what does this mean? You should call him. Tell him that you know the truth.”
“Yeah, that’s exactly what I was thinking. I almost did it already but I needed to sort the thoughts in my head out, and I also wanted the chance to talk it through with you. So, you think I should call?”
“Yes! Actually. No! No! Don’t call!”
“What? Why?”
“Go and see him.”
“How? I don’t know where he lives.”
She smiled. “But you know where he works. Come on; it will be so romantic.”
“What if he turns me down?”
“Then you can officially put this whole thing behind you. But let’s face it, Harper: you’re not ever going to rest until you see him again. I know that you haven’t stopp
ed thinking about him. You need to know if things are going to work. Now, you’ve always been someone that goes after your dreams. I say go and get the guy. Or, at least, get some answers.”
I grinned. The more I thought about it, the more excited I began to feel. She was right. I needed to see him. “I’m going to do it.”
“Good. Come on, let’s book the tickets now,” she said.
“Now?”
“Do it on your phone. Come on, the last time I forced you into doing something you ended up having the best time of your life. What have you got to lose?”
I chuckled and got out my phone just as the waitress came by with our food. “You look excited,” she said as she put the plates down in front of us.
I grinned. “Oh, I am. I’m going to Washington!”
The flight was booked for the next day. I was going to drive, but the thought of such a long drive alone made me anxious. I didn’t so much mind the drive there, but if things didn’t turn out the way I wanted them to, it was going to be a very sad drive back for me. The flight was at least quick, and it gave me less time to chicken out.
I hadn’t been to Washington for a while though. As soon as I arrived, I went to hire a car and then sat with my GPS trying to figure out where the university was. There was no way I was going to rely on my own sense of direction. Knowing me, I’d end up in a whole new city. I had always been bad with directions, and this was not the time to test myself. Despite putting in the address, I still somehow managed to make a few wrong turns, and the GPS kept trying to reroute me the right way. It took a bit longer than I wanted, but I eventually arrived. I looked at the time. I had arrived with an hour to spare. I’d given myself extra time just in case I got too horribly lost. I also didn’t want to rush inside. I needed time to compose myself.
