by S. J. West
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Sarah. Having sex is a normal, physically gratifying thing for two people to engage in, human or vampire.” He says the word ‘sex’ so casually, like it’s no big deal. It’s a big deal to me. I don’t view it as a recreational tool like some people seem to. I actually need to love the person I share my body with.
“That’s certainly true,” Helen chimes in, leaning her hip against the kitchen island as she looks over at me. “I can remember when Julian and I first started having sex. It was glorious for those first ten years, but after that it became a bit stale.”
I nearly choke on the potato salad in my mouth. I quickly swallow before I spew it halfway across the kitchen table.
“Ok,” I say, trying to catch my breath, “that’s way too much information for me. Can we please change the subject?”
“Oh come, dear,” Helen says with a wave of her hand in my direction. “There’s nothing wrong with talking about sex with family. Like Julian said, it’s a natural thing to happen between two people, especially when they’ve been together for as long as he and I have.”
I try my best to wipe the image of Julian and Helen in a compromising position out of my mind to no avail. I know she’s probably talking about events that happened when she was younger, but picturing them as they are now, doing the deed together, is like a bad porn movie running inside my mind. I hunch my shoulders and hang my head over the half-eaten bowl of potato salad in a vain attempt to rid my thoughts of unwanted visions.
Then the strangest thing happens. Julian actually laughs. He’s standing in the same spot by the windows when I look up at him. This time it’s my turn to scowl. I know he’s laughing at my reaction to the image of him and Helen in flagrante. I try to ignore him as I look back down at my bowl and continue to eat. At least it gives me time to think of something to change the direction of the conversation. Julian’s laughter soon subsides into soft chuckles, giving me an opportunity to ask a question.
“Am I going to get fat?” I ask. It’s a real worry. I hate shopping for clothes, but if I keep eating at this rate, that’s what I’ll end up having to do.
“No. You shouldn’t gain any weight. In fact, you may lose some if you don’t eat enough,” Julian answers, still wearing an amused grin on his face when I look back at him. He knows what I’m doing. At least he isn’t trying to embarrass me by calling me out on my quick change of conversation.
“Why am I so hungry?” I finally ask. It’s a question I meant to ask that morning, but just couldn’t stop myself from eating long enough to ask it.
“Your body is changing, becoming stronger,” Julian answers. “Plus, your body knows it needs to store up more energy to make more blood for me to drink each day.”
“How does it know to do that?”
He shrugs. “I haven’t got a clue, Sarah. It’s just the way things work. I didn’t come up with the rules.”
I make a mental note to try out this super strength and agility Julian mentioned I would gain from bonding with him. I don’t feel particularly strong or agile, but I haven’t put it to a test yet either. As soon as I have time, I’ll find a private spot and experiment.
“Ah, Sarah, glad to see you up and about.”
Adrian walks in through the French doors with Daniel close behind him. Daniel is using a white towel draped around his neck to quickly dry the shaggy brown mop on top of his head.
“Sarah Marcel,” Adrian says as the two come to stand in front of me on the other side of the table. Good manners force me to ignore the last two spoons full of potato salad in the bowl and give them my full attention. “I would like you to meet my companion, Daniel Bartran.”
Daniel holds his hand out to me. I stand to shake it.
“Nice to meet you,” he says with an easy grin. “I’m sorry for the loss of your grandfather. It must have been a shock for you to find out about your connection to our world the way you did.”
“I’m still in shock,” I confess. “But I’ll get used to it.” Like I had any choice.
“It’ll get better,” Daniel says with a wink and a wider smile.
It’s one of the first times I actually do feel like things will eventually get back to normal, at least as normal as my new life will allow. I immediately like Daniel. I have a feeling he and I will become friends given enough time. Plus, he has the added benefit of being one of the few people my empathic ability doesn’t have to work overtime deciphering. A lot of people go through myriad emotions in a very short timeframe because their thoughts jump from one subject to the next so quickly. Daniel is one of the few people, like Kaylee, who seem to be in a perpetually good mood. I never asked, but I figured Kaylee was someone who actually did dream about cute little puppies and magical rainbows. That’s the feeling I get from Daniel. He’s a happy person most of the time, never one to be sad for long if he can help it.
“I’ve just had a brilliant idea!” Adrian says excitedly as he looks over at Julian. “Why don’t we mate Daniel and Sarah?”
I’m not sure whose cheeks turn redder, mine or Daniel’s. Poor Helen ends up dropping the cookie sheet in her hand, making an awful metallic clatter against the tile floor in the ensuing silence of the kitchen. Thankfully, it wasn’t filled with cookies. That would have been a waste of good cooking.
“Excuse me?” I say to Adrian, unable to hide the incredulity I feel. “You do realize we’re both standing right here in front of you, don’t you?”
Adrian shrugs nonchalantly. “It’s not like it hasn’t ever been done before. Besides, Julian said you don’t have a boyfriend, and Daniel hasn’t been able to produce an heir for me yet,” he sighs, clearly disappointed in his human companion’s failings. “Why not have the two of you get together? It would solve all our problems. Besides, females who have been newly bonded are extremely fertile. I’m sure you could have two children within a two-year time period if you really put your minds and bodies into it.”
Julian comes to stand by my side. “They’re not cattle, Adrian. I won’t have you making suggestions like that about Sarah. She isn’t yours.”
Ok, suddenly I feel like a piece of meat. The way Julian said his last statement made it sound like he considers me his property, not his companion. I decide not to berate him for his choice of words in front of Adrian and Daniel, though. It just doesn’t seem like the right time to have that particular conversation.
“It was just a suggestion.” Adrian shrugs again, like it isn’t a big deal to him either way. “I’m sure Daniel wouldn’t mind doing it for me. Sarah’s quite attractive.” Adrian looks me up and down, making me feel cheap. Well, at least I met with his approval as a mating partner for his pet human.
“Stop it, Adrian,” Daniel whispers, turning his head toward his vampire, imploring him with his eyes to end the subject. “I think you’ve embarrassed us both enough for one day.”
“Fine, I’ll drop it. But I’ll leave the offer open if you change your mind, Sarah.”
I sense Julian’s body tense up like a compressed spring. It feels as though he’s getting ready to pounce on Adrian and beat him to death for making his lewd suggestion. A defusing of the situation seems to be in order.
“Thank you for offering Daniel up to me like a sacrificial lamb,” I tell Adrian snidely. “But I think he and I can make up our own minds when it comes to how far we might want our relationship to go. You certainly don’t have to pimp him out to me.”
Adrian laughs and Daniel smiles at me. I feel Julian calm down a smidge, but I don’t even have to look at him to know he’s still scowling at Adrian.
“I get the hint,” Adrian says, still chuckling. “I’m sorry if I sounded crude. It wasn’t my intention. I just thought it would be a solution that would satisfy everyone.” Adrian looks over to Helen. “Daniel said he was hungry. When will supper be ready?”
“Give me half an hour,” Helen replies tersely, picking her cookie sheet up off the floor.
“Then we’ll see you bot
h a little later.” Adrian bows in my direction before he heads down the hallway and up the stairs. I assume he’s going to his room.
“I should go take a bath,” Daniel says to me. “See you in a few, Sarah.” He grins at me shyly before following the same path as Adrian.
I turn to look at Julian. Sure enough, there’s a scowl on his face. He’s staring at the empty doorway that Adrian and Daniel just departed through.
I’m not sure what cosmic intuition comes over me next, but I suddenly realize exactly what I need to do. I raise my hand to his temple and run my thumb across the wrinkles of frustration on his forehead, trying to erase them. Julian quickly looks down at me like he isn’t used to being touched so casually.
“You shouldn’t let him bother you,” I whisper, lowering my hand to cradle his cheek against the warmth of my palm.
“I know,” he murmurs, not pulling away from my caress like I feared he would. “I didn’t appreciate him making you sound like a breeding animal.”
I can’t help but smile. Maybe he’s starting to care about me a small bit. I let my hand drop back to my side.
“I can handle Adrian,” I say confidently.
“I’m beginning to think you can handle anything.” Julian almost smiles but it doesn’t quite make it. He looks in my eyes with an intensity I’ve never seen in anyone else before. I can’t tell what he’s thinking or feeling, but it seems like we’ve crossed an imaginary barrier that was separating us. I know I can count on Julian to protect me, and I think he realizes now that I will always be loyal to him no matter what happens. Perhaps it was the final stage of the bonding between us. I’m not sure. All I do know is that we are a part of each other now, for as long as I live.
I stay in the kitchen to help Helen prepare supper. It seems only right to lend a hand since she’s doing so much work to keep me fed. Julian excuses himself from our company and leaves the house without telling us where he’s going or when he’ll be back. Strangely enough, I know the moment that he leaves. His absence makes my chest feel like it’s being ripped open, creating a void that only his presence can fill. How in the world will I ever be able to function normally again if I have to suffer through this excruciating emptiness every time we’re apart? I can’t prevent a heavy sigh from escaping my lips as I long for his swift return.
“He feels it, too,” Helen says, obviously having heard my reaction to Julian’s departure. She’s stirring a pot full of some sort of oyster stew to go with the shrimp and crawdads she brought home for our supper. “He won’t be gone long,” she reassures me.
I try to busy myself by cutting up a tomato for a garden salad. Even with the distraction, I find it nearly impossible to concentrate on my task. For some odd reason, I can’t get the thought of Helen and Julian being lovers out of my mind.
“So how does it work?” I finally ask her. “How does Julian’s blood enable you to live for so long? He let you drink it and Voilà, you were granted the ability to live an extra five hundred years?”
“It wasn’t quite that simple,” she says, putting the cover back on the stockpot and turning her full attention to me. “I was almost dead when he found me. Some men attacked me on my way home one evening and left me for dead in a back alley after they each had their way with me. I’m sure I would have died if Julian had been one second later.”
“Oh my gosh, Helen,” I say in shock. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
“Well,” she says, continuing to stir the stew, “sometimes the worst thing that can happen to you leads to something wonderfully unexpected.”
“Julian told me you were the only human he’s ever changed. Why do you think that is?”
“I don’t believe he views living forever as a blessing. The heartache of losing your loved ones can be unbearable at times.” Helen tilts her head slightly as she looks over at me. “Although, I’ve noticed a change in him since the two of you bonded.”
“A good or bad change?” I ask apprehensively, looking up at her from the cutting board.
Helen smiles. “Good. I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I heard him laugh, a couple of centuries at least. I have no doubt whatsoever that the two of you will be good for one another.”
I silently debate with myself whether I should ask Helen what I really want to know. It’s none of my business, of course, but if I’m going to be living in the same house as them, it seems like a reasonable question to ask.
“So, are you and Julian a couple?”
Helen burst out laughing as if I’ve said the funniest thing ever. After she catches her breath, she replies, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed so hard at an honest and sincere question. It’s just that we haven’t had that type of relationship in hundreds of years. The first ten years we spent together were wonderful, I’ll admit, but I finally realized Julian didn’t love me. He never had. To be honest, I’m not even sure any of the vampires have the capacity to truly give their heart to someone anymore. It seems like being turned into what they are meant they had to lose that part of themselves. I left him when I realized he would never be able to care for me the same way I did him.” As Helen reminisces about the past, I can feel how sad she is reliving those memories. “I remember hoping I was wrong about Julian’s feelings for me and praying he would track me down and beg for my return to his side, but he never did. I eventually found a man who truly could love me with all his heart. We married, but weren’t able to conceive children. Now I know that what Julian did to save my life also caused me to be unable to bring new life into the world. That’s why they never give their companions their blood to drink. It would irrevocably end the bloodline and doom them to a limited time on Earth. Anyway, John and I were together until his last dying breath, and I haven’t loved anyone else since. I doubt I ever will. I think a love like ours only comes once in a person’s life.”
I feel a selfish relief from hearing Helen’s words. For some reason, I don’t want her and Julian to be lovers or have any kind of romantic involvement with one another.
“When and why did you return to Julian?” I ask, curious to know how she ended up being his housekeeper.
“After John died, I didn’t have anyone else. It can be a terribly lonely existence living for so long by yourself. I eventually found Julian again and decided to stay with him until I die and can be reunited with my John in the afterlife. Since I returned, I’ve helped each generation of your family raise the heir who would eventually bond with Julian, except for you of course.”
“Are you sorry Julian gave you his blood?” I ask.
Helen gives her shoulders a little shrug. “Things are the way they are. I can’t change them. I’m not even sure I would if given the opportunity. Without Julian doing what he did for me, I never would have met John or experienced the best years of my life. Sometimes things happen for reasons we can’t fully comprehend when they occur. All we can do is live and see where the future takes us.”
After hearing her words, I know that’s what I’ll have to do. Wait and see where my future with Julian will go.
Helen and I prepare the dining room table for supper that evening. I get the feeling we’re eating our meal in there because of the presence of our guests. For the most part, I bet we’ll normally eat together in the kitchen when it’s just us.
Helen informs me that she bought some more clothes for me if I want to change for supper. I take her suggestion as a subtle hint that my T-shirt and jeans ensemble aren’t suitable attire for the evening meal. She tells me the clothes are hanging in the wardrobe inside my room.
I go up to my bedroom and search through the clothes Helen purchased. I have to admit Helen has excellent fashion sense. She even bought me matching shoes for most of the outfits. I can only assume she bought them during the last couple of days while I was sleeping. I choose a simple black-and-white-print cotton dress with solid black shoulder straps and banded hem with inverted pleats around the waist. A pair of simple black heels helps complete the look.
/>
I curl my hair and put on a little extra makeup to enhance my features. For some reason, I want Julian to be proud to call me his companion in front of the others. When Julian returns to the house, the tear in my heart immediately stitches itself back together. I hear him walk into the room beside mine, making me almost giddy with happiness that he’s back home. I find it odd how just his presence can make me feel content, and wonder if this is how people who are in love react when they’re around one another. I know I’m not in love with Julian. Nevertheless, I think the analogy is a sound one.
When I step out of my room to go downstairs, Julian walks out of his room at the same exact moment. I turn to face him and feel my heart skip a beat when I see how handsome he looks. He’s dressed in a pair of well-tailored black slacks and a long sleeve white button-down shirt unbuttoned at the collar.
He turns his head to look in my direction and allows his eyes to travel the length of me in a non-critical way.
“You look nice this evening, Sarah,” he says, walking up to me and holding out his arm for me to take. “Shall we go down to entertain our guests?”
I slide my arm through his and follow him down the stairs and into the dining room.
Adrian and Daniel are already present. They’re standing beside one of the windows in the room, having a hushed conversation. They stop talking as soon as they see us. I can tell Daniel is feeling embarrassed, and Adrian is feeling smug. I can only wonder what that’s all about.
Daniel smiles at me, genuinely pleased to see me again so soon. He strolls up to Julian and me as we walk further into the room.
“You look beautiful, Sarah,” he says, taking my free hand with his and bowing to kiss it.
“Thank you.” I can’t help the small blush that appears on my cheeks. I’m not used to being complimented. Generally, I stay away from people in social situations. It’s made me a bit of an introvert, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. For the most part, people don’t appear that bad on the outside, but having a direct line to their emotions has always given me a fuller picture of their true nature. A lot of men judge you on the basis of whether they want to have sex with you, and most women compare you to themselves in a vain attempt to judge which of you is smarter or more attractive. Being judged is an uncomfortable feeling, which is why I make it a general rule not to socialize much.
